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Author Topic: Pip pip! Moving to England and have questions  (Read 49942 times)
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #125 on: April 23, 2014, 02:40:23 PM »

Ugh! I rarely trust anyone anymore. I am with you, I'd prefer to send it off myself.
Sounds like all else is going well. Love reading your updates!
Aw, thanks for reading, Karol! I am not the most optimistic person, so I am astonished at how much I like it here, and how all four of us seem to be simultaneously happy right now.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

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cariad
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« Reply #126 on: April 23, 2014, 02:41:54 PM »

Great to read your posts from England, sounds like generally, things are suiting you nicely. 
EXCELLENT NEWS
Thanks, Nat! I'm trying not to take a moment for granted. :)
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People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
cariad
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« Reply #127 on: April 23, 2014, 02:45:11 PM »

Well, I doubt the hospital would want to ship it themselves, but good luck with it anyhow

Love, Cas
You'd think not, but California never let me handle my own tubes of blood. They seem more laid back here.

(Can't believe I'll be meeting you in a matter of days....  :yahoo;)
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
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« Reply #128 on: April 23, 2014, 04:33:06 PM »

I was only in England for a fortnight, and later I was in Scotland for about a week.  But I LOVED THE UK!  When I was there, it was lovely weather, and that might make a difference - but I found it sublime, the light, the colours, the green-ness, the flowers!!! I'm a big old softie when it comes to good gardening conditions...
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Natalya – Sydney, Australia
wife of Gregory, who is the kidney patient: 
1986: kidney failure at 19 years old, cause unknown
PD for a year, in-centre haemo for 4 years
Transplant 1 lasted 21 years (Lucy: 1991 - 2012), failed due to Transplant glomerulopathy
5 weeks Haemo 2012
Transplant 2 (Maggie) installed Feb 13, 2013, returned to work June 17, 2013 average crea was 130, now is 140.
Infections in June / July, hospital 1-4 Aug for infections.

Over the years:  skin cancer; thyroidectomy, pneumonia; CMV; BK; 14 surgeries
Generally glossy and happy.

2009 - 2013 PhD research student : How people make sense of renal failure in online discussion boards
Submitted February 2013 :: Graduated Sep 2013.   http://godbold.name/experiencingdialysis/
Heartfelt thanks to IHD, KK and ADB for your generosity and support.
cassandra
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« Reply #129 on: April 24, 2014, 02:17:23 PM »

Quote from: cariad

(Can't believe I'll be meeting you in a matter of days....  :yahoo;)
[/quote

Me neighter.     :yahoo;


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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
cariad
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« Reply #130 on: May 13, 2014, 10:28:36 AM »

I was only in England for a fortnight, and later I was in Scotland for about a week.  But I LOVED THE UK!  When I was there, it was lovely weather, and that might make a difference - but I found it sublime, the light, the colours, the green-ness, the flowers!!! I'm a big old softie when it comes to good gardening conditions...
I am discovering the charms of gardening myself... never thought I'd see the day! We are trying to plant herbs but the basil doesn't seem to be doing all that well. I love the idea of gardening and having access to my own ingredients right outside my door, but it doesn't always work out for us in practice.

As I've already mentioned, Dyl handed in his half-term project - we recreated The Flower Carrier by Diego Rivera - and what was fascinating was hearing what the other kids had done. He said that there was one painting that is recreated by many kids, year after year, and the photo is invariably taken at our local castle, on a bridge. Dyl described it as being a bit 'wavy' and 'blurry' kind of like a Salvador Dali painting, and he said there was a person in it who was bald.

I never in a billion years would have guessed which painting this was, but a bit of lucky googling and I found the painting in question.... Edvard Munch's The Scream!!!! A bit dark for seven and eight year olds, but of course, it's easily recognizable and EASY. Dyl also mentioned someone who made The Mona Lisa out of Lego (how??!!) and a girl who recreated Banksy's Balloon Girl which Dyl described as 'clever'. I cannot wait for parents' evening when I can see all the different projects for myself.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2014, 10:30:13 AM by cariad » Logged

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People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #131 on: May 19, 2014, 12:28:41 PM »

So, NHS Direct was decommissioned and now we're all to ring 111? Is there any measurable difference?

We learnt this news at roughly 3AM. Gwyn was so restless and when I finally asked if he was all right, he said he hadn't slept yet and was in agony and the powerful painkillers were not touching the pain. I told him to call for an ambulance (he couldn't walk) but he said he was going to wait until morning. The hell he was going to wait, I needed to sleep and couldn't knowing how much pain he was in. Tried to phone NHSDirect and found out it was shut as of end of March. There seemed to be little difference, possibly just that now someone screens the calls to see if you even get to talk to a health professional, and which type they put you through to. We could not get an ambulance without waiting an hour or so, so I got up and drove him (we live quite close to our local hospital).

He was seen immediately at A&E (doctor admitted that he was suspecting gout, but it definitely was not gout) they X-rayed his foot and now they are saying probably tendonitis. There isn't much they can do for him beyond the standard pain killers and anti-inflammatories. I got back to sleep at 4AM, and found out later that the silly man was done by about half four but just rested across some chairs in the waiting room until my usual wake up time of 6:45. (A&E allowed this?!) He said he couldn't sleep anyhow so he didn't want to wake me and then keep me up the rest of the night. (They're called 'taxis' and 'couches', Gwyn!!) I got Dyl to school in plenty of time but had to phone Aidan's school and tell them that he was going to be late and it was his parents' fault. They were quite sympathetic. I crawled through work today, buoyed by my lovely colleagues. (We make a great team, usually.)

Gwyn also remembered he had a dentist appointment today to have a filling re-done. The man is basically a crumbling mess.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
Chris
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« Reply #132 on: May 19, 2014, 10:39:35 PM »

Hi Cariad.
I am not up to date on this thread and just read last post. Sorry to hear about Gwyn. I know all to well about tendonitis (4x in ankles, 3 x in left).


Northwestern had a conference about your transplant, but I couldn't go due to the time it was held. It would have been intersting to hear.
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
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« Reply #133 on: May 20, 2014, 05:14:11 AM »

I guess he was so tired he wasn't thinking straight by then.  I can't think at all if I don't get a decent 7-8 hours a night.  I'm impressed that you got through the day yourself. Hope you've all got some sleep since then. 
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Natalya – Sydney, Australia
wife of Gregory, who is the kidney patient: 
1986: kidney failure at 19 years old, cause unknown
PD for a year, in-centre haemo for 4 years
Transplant 1 lasted 21 years (Lucy: 1991 - 2012), failed due to Transplant glomerulopathy
5 weeks Haemo 2012
Transplant 2 (Maggie) installed Feb 13, 2013, returned to work June 17, 2013 average crea was 130, now is 140.
Infections in June / July, hospital 1-4 Aug for infections.

Over the years:  skin cancer; thyroidectomy, pneumonia; CMV; BK; 14 surgeries
Generally glossy and happy.

2009 - 2013 PhD research student : How people make sense of renal failure in online discussion boards
Submitted February 2013 :: Graduated Sep 2013.   http://godbold.name/experiencingdialysis/
Heartfelt thanks to IHD, KK and ADB for your generosity and support.
cassandra
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When all else fails run in circles, shout loudly

« Reply #134 on: May 20, 2014, 10:55:53 AM »

Any progress Cariad? I so hope so. When I had that the only stuff that worked (and then only 20 mins orso, but what a relief that was) was Arniflor, in combo with Ibuprofen of course (not arnica gel, that didn't do anything) I'm on machine now, will have look on ingredients later.
Good luck y'all, and love, and strength, Cas
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #135 on: May 23, 2014, 08:27:27 AM »

Any progress Cariad? I so hope so. When I had that the only stuff that worked (and then only 20 mins orso, but what a relief that was) was Arniflor, in combo with Ibuprofen of course (not arnica gel, that didn't do anything) I'm on machine now, will have look on ingredients later.
Good luck y'all, and love, and strength, Cas
Hiya, Cas. Thanks so much for asking after Gwyn. He took Monday and Tuesday off - I think Monday was pretty rough and he was knocking back the Co Codomal with wild abandon, Tuesday was better but he stayed out of work because he was still taking powerful drugs that made driving or operating machinery unsafe. He worked the rest of the week and reports that he feels much better with only a bit of pain now and again.

He should probably stop playing rugby for a good while, but I know if the opportunity comes up, he'll do it. The tendonitis first started when he began training for rugby in ill-fitting shoes, and was aggravated when he played in a tournament for charity. He feels lucky though, ever since we heard a friend's achilles tendon snapped while playing football! (Ow, ow, ow....)
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
cariad
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« Reply #136 on: May 23, 2014, 08:31:07 AM »

I guess he was so tired he wasn't thinking straight by then.  I can't think at all if I don't get a decent 7-8 hours a night.  I'm impressed that you got through the day yourself. Hope you've all got some sleep since then.
You're probably right, Nat. The older I get, the more I need a full night's sleep and will be unable to keep my eyes open after a certain point (specially if I've had a glass of wine). Gwyn's fallen asleep just now and it's only 4:30 in the afternoon, so I guess he still needs to catch up on a bit, but we've all got the next week off so it's a perfect opportunity to do just that.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #137 on: May 23, 2014, 08:40:04 AM »

Hi Cariad.
I am not up to date on this thread and just read last post. Sorry to hear about Gwyn. I know all to well about tendonitis (4x in ankles, 3 x in left).
:waving; Chris, it's been so long! Sorry to hear you're a tendonitis veteran. Is rest for the ankle the only treatment? Gwyn's doing much better now. I have given him supplements from my mother (The Queen of the Homeopathic Remedy): Glucosamine and MSM. He is hopefully taking them faithfully. He is much improved at least.

Northwestern had a conference about your transplant, but I couldn't go due to the time it was held. It would have been intersting to hear.
Hey, they didn't tell me about this! It does sound interesting, I so enjoyed hearing about the results in London last September. Was Dr. L the primary speaker? I'll see if I can find a summary of it somewhere. I am curious if there are any new findings over the past months. Thanks for letting me know. How are you doing? Last I remember, you were in the midst of a long hospital stay. :( How's Whitley?
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
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« Reply #138 on: May 25, 2014, 10:39:29 PM »

Cariad all I was told was to rest and use Flexal or use ice and heat for my tendonitis. Hard to do when I was working 2 jobs. However resting did help it. I have had other problems creep up since being hospitalized in August of last year. Lot of test, some physical therapy that did not help.


As for Dr. Leventhal speaking, I believe it was him. I no longer have the invitation because it fell on my mothers birthday. I have to check my email for the contact information of someone who maybe able to get the information you want.
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
Chris
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« Reply #139 on: May 26, 2014, 04:32:57 PM »

Cariad, do you have the same email address?


I am not sure the information that I do have will help. There is a Northwestern Patient council now who may have the information from April 6 that is not listed on their website.
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #140 on: June 02, 2014, 08:39:52 AM »

Cariad, do you have the same email address?


I am not sure the information that I do have will help. There is a Northwestern Patient council now who may have the information from April 6 that is not listed on their website.
I do have the same email address. OK, so this is something patients/the general public were invited to attend? I wonder if they were recruiting? Last I heard they had used up all the grant monies and would perform the procedure again if a patient were willing to pay out-of-pocket. (!!!!!!!!!!!!) However, I also heard they were moving into Phase III, so I'm a little confused where things stand. Thanks for letting me know! Gwyn thankfully felt much better after only a day or so of resting his foot but I am pretty sure the problem will eventually resurface. I am urging him to take supplements from my mother - she has suggested krill oil, MSM, and glucosamine.

Sorry to hear that you are still battling health issues. :(
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
Chris
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« Reply #141 on: June 11, 2014, 10:37:29 PM »

I am not sure if the public was notified via the hospitals health newspaper, or signs in the building. The letter I had was  to all transplant recipients and probably open to any doctor associated with the hospital.


I will forward what I have left cariad.


Tendonitis is a pain! I could not rest when I had it and it is probably why it returned several times, worse than cramps during dialysis for me.

Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #142 on: June 17, 2014, 02:21:59 PM »

Tendonitis is a pain! I could not rest when I had it and it is probably why it returned several times, worse than cramps during dialysis for me.
Wow, that's bad. Really, really bad. Hope it keeps away from you and Gwyn from now on.

I am so nervous. Tomorrow I see Aidan play the starring role in a very difficult piece. I received preliminary reports from a teacher's aide who was at the sewing party I attended this evening and saw the performance they put on for all the year 6s. When she found out who my son was, she exclaimed "Oh, he's gorgeous!" Then she advised that I 'bring a box of tissues' and she kept saying how good he was in the role. She told me she was trying to place his accent and decided he must be Irish. I used to get this all the time, still do occasionally, and now the boys are getting it too.

I am also going to see the show closing night. It only runs for three performances, and when people ask why I would see it twice I tell them that my boy is the lead, who knows if I'll ever have this opportunity again, in fact, they'll be lucky to keep me away from the third performance. I am so very proud of Aidan, and I just love theatre so I am ecstatic.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
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« Reply #143 on: June 17, 2014, 05:59:36 PM »

Tendonitis is a pain! I could not rest when I had it and it is probably why it returned several times, worse than cramps during dialysis for me.
Wow, that's bad. Really, really bad. Hope it keeps away from you and Gwyn from now on.

I am so nervous. Tomorrow I see Aidan play the starring role in a very difficult piece. I received preliminary reports from a teacher's aide who was at the sewing party I attended this evening and saw the performance they put on for all the year 6s. When she found out who my son was, she exclaimed "Oh, he's gorgeous!" Then she advised that I 'bring a box of tissues' and she kept saying how good he was in the role. She told me she was trying to place his accent and decided he must be Irish. I used to get this all the time, still do occasionally, and now the boys are getting it too.

I am also going to see the show closing night. It only runs for three performances, and when people ask why I would see it twice I tell them that my boy is the lead, who knows if I'll ever have this opportunity again, in fact, they'll be lucky to keep me away from the third performance. I am so very proud of Aidan, and I just love theatre so I am ecstatic.

Oh, this sounds absolutely lovely, Cariad.

We have been going through lots of things and organizing since we are in the process of selling our school. I came across some "pictures" Dylan had drawn in one of my spiral notebooks. Brought back precious memories.

 :cuddle;

Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
cariad
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« Reply #144 on: June 19, 2014, 11:19:43 AM »

Oh, this sounds absolutely lovely, Cariad.

We have been going through lots of things and organizing since we are in the process of selling our school. I came across some "pictures" Dylan had drawn in one of my spiral notebooks. Brought back precious memories.

 :cuddle;

Aleta
Aw, that's so sweet, Aleta! Thanks for mentioning it, I don't even remember him doing that. Cannot believe he was only 4 then, and he just turned 8 earlier in the month.

I am on a cloud of joy. Saw the play last night. This was proper theatre, such talented children, very clever staging. Aidan was run off his feet through the whole show - stage fighting, singing, dancing, hauling scenery and props around, running laps and doing press ups. The show opens with him sitting on a swing made of other students - he also rides a horse made of other students, and gets piggyback rides from at least two other actors. He looks so tiny out there. Some of the other kids blew me away, there wasn't a weak link among them, and several incredibly brave performances. Aidan himself is only 11 and I am not even sure how well he understands some of the subject matter in the show.

The curtain has risen on tonight's performance, but I am home as Aidan wants to have one performance without his parents in the audience. I'll be holding him in my thoughts for the next 90 minutes.

Show them what you can do, Aidy!  :kiss;
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

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« Reply #145 on: July 01, 2014, 12:00:59 PM »

My mother was here and had perhaps the most English experience possible. Elliot's school was having their summer fete, and I explained the tombola, tried to, anyhow. I explained that they get donations from students by exchanging a prize for a uniform-free day. So every child donates a prize and then you pay for a chance to get tickets that are already matched with specific prizes (how it differs from a raffle). At the first school we went to they only did bottle tombolas, and you could choose adult or child, so any winner from the adult one was guaranteed to be an alcohol prize.  :) :) :) :) :)

This school's tombola is guaranteed to be hilarious, though. People have been donating back their crap prizes for years, so the non-edible gifts are well-traveled. We won five items, and at the end of it all I held them up and said "this could not be more demonstrative of what I was talking about". The prizes were: a bright pink plastic ice cream scoop in the shape of an ice cream cone, a soap in the shape of a cupcake, some Christmas mulled wine spices (that expire October 2014, so must be ancient!) some sort of multicouloured light that I believe was meant to be placed outside (this was either already broken when we won it or broke in transport) and a box of chocolate mints. I kept letting the boys play until the boys won something halfway decent, so I do believe the school made close to 10 pounds on that box of mints. The boys also performed in a street dance demonstration for a huge crowd there.

We left there and went to our CSA. We found one in England! It is absolutely brilliant! We go to the farm each Saturday and weigh out our share ourselves, and they have extras we can buy like quail eggs for 10p each and locally milled flour. If there is a veg you don't like (plenty of kohlrabi to go around) you can leave it in the free corner for another member to help themselves to. Their shitake mushrooms are the best I have ever tasted, the boys adore the carrots, and their beetroot is out of this world. We got to tour the farm, and of course it was tipping it down and my mother was wearing her brand new short wellies from Joules, so the whole day was as Englishy as it gets.

She also saw Aidan win his dance school's tap award which was nice. The boys actually took a day off school and we went to see the Shakespeare properties. I'd been to the birthplace with Gwyn many years ago but had never seen the gravesite which I think is oddly haunting with its pleading little poem engraved on top asking for peace for his remains. Almost like there was a sense even back then that some people would have an unhealthy fixation with celebrities.
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« Reply #146 on: July 01, 2014, 05:28:29 PM »

Sounds like a lovely time!
 :2thumbsup;
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #147 on: July 04, 2014, 01:52:53 AM »

It's Independence Day in the motherland! I am suited up in my Levis, red leather PF Flyers, and my American flag t-shirt. There shall be no "So, where is that accent from?" at work today! I think this is my fifth or sixth July 4 outside America, losing track but I won't miss the pressure to go find a decent seat to watch the fireworks. On our last July 4 in America the boys and I found the most brilliant spot to watch the fireworks only to later learn that there had been a brutal, racially motivated attack on white teenagers there the year before, thus it was rather deserted.

I prepped Dyl for the inevitable questions about what today is at school. I sent him with a bicentenial half-dollar, a nickel so they could see what Thomas Jefferson looked like, sort of, and an ordinary quarter because it has the classic eagle and the George Washington face. I didn't tell him anything about Thanksgiving last year or the year before because I hate that holiday and try to forget it every year (but British people have started bringing it up and I wish they'd stop). Sooooo, last year Dyl was asked what Thanksgiving was all about in America and he essentially said "you sit around eating turkey". 

Two more weeks of school!

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What's past is prologue

« Reply #148 on: July 04, 2014, 02:23:18 AM »

Oh, and Gwyn and I have another issue with the way things operate in the UK as opposed to America. I would be especially interested if any other humanists on the site have any thoughts. I will preface this with a very clear statement that this is not going to turn into a debate about religious beliefs - if you want to talk about that, there are an abundance of threads on IHD that should meet your needs.

Please do not read the following if you are offended by differences in religious beliefs.

Aidan texted me the other day to say that he and his friends were going to a local club. I know a little about this club as a friend of his had his birthday party there, so I knew it was in a church and that they have a pool table and video games for the kids. I happened to run into Aidan and his friend on their way to the club, and when I asked where they were going (because Aidan's texts are often nonsensical) the friend tried to sell me on the idea of the club by saying 'it teaches us life lessons'. I was in a rush when we were standing out on the pavement, so I just told the friend it was fine, I just needed to be clear on where they were going, but certainly the phrase 'life lessons' and 'church' did not sit well with me.

I asked Aidan about it after he returned home. He immediately gave up and said "I won't go there anymore if you don't want me to" He then told me that they tell them that their problems can be solved by learning from the Bible and tell a story or two about Jesus. I said I was fine with him going so long as he doesn't sell his rationalism for a few video games. I said I found what they were doing exceptionally sleazy and treading a very fine line ethically. I never signed anything saying they could proselytize to my child (he is only eleven!!!!) and I would bet my last pound that many parents don't even know this is happening. Fairly certain that this would end up in court if we were in the US.

Aidan and I closed the conversation by agreeing that if he is ever asked about his own world view, he needs to say he is a proud humanist, he can say he is interested in their belief systems (I suspect he doesn't really care so long as he gets to hang out with his friends, but never mind) and that his parents are both atheists and are only seeing this as a good anthropological lesson for him. I don't expect him to be confrontational with adults but if they try to pressure him to say or do things that he doesn't believe, he needs to tell me immediately. Right now there is an uproar over what is being called a 'radical Islamic takeover attempt' at schools not too far from us, so this little church group should know how seriously people take it when adults try to circumvent parental authority. I don't know if I should go down there and tell them that I take a dim view of them preaching to my kid, or if I should just let Aidan handle it. It is not the information that bothers me (he already takes Religious Education in school) it is the underhanded way they are going about it.
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People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
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« Reply #149 on: July 05, 2014, 04:20:45 AM »

I assume it's a youth club which is probably most frequented by children and young people who already attend the church?  I know my mum's church has a club which meets once a week or so, and there are a couple locally to me; I get the impression that it's a safe environment for the young people and children who do go to church, and as such the activities or discussions may be partly based in religion and on the Bible. I'd therefore be surprised if a lot of parents didn't know what went on at the club and I suspect that the people who run it would probably be horrified that you think they're trying to put pressure on children; if most of the children do come from church-going families then they're probably just reiterating what goes on in church on the Sunday. Maybe you could contact the organisers and ask them questions. There's bound to be plenty of other local youth clubs which aren't church-led.
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