I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: twirl on April 01, 2008, 05:13:50 PM
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Stasie took my 18 month old granddaughter to get her shots
the doc took a long time to exam her and told Stasie to take her to the hospital now for an X-ray
it was too late in the afternoon
so Stasie has to make an appointment tomorrow
it seems that Trasie's liver is two or three inches from where it should be
doc wanted to know it we had medical issues
PKD is in our family
I had open heart surgery as a child
Missy, my middle daughter was born with a diaphragmatic hernia and is lucky to be alive ( hernia in her diaphragm)
did my selfishness to have children cause all this pain
i had miscarriages and when to specialists
I told them I had PKD
one doc told me that sometimes you have it and you never know until an autospy is done
they made no big deal out it
I love my children to pieces
but did I have to cause all this pain and to my granddaughter
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Let's just pray that it is not PKD. Not in an 18 month old. God please no.
You are not selfish. Too late anyway they are all here. :cuddle;
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:grouphug; I pray for good news.
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You were not selfish to have your children. It is a grand and glorious reason we are here on earth, to procreate. Remember our souls know what will happen in our life's lessons. We chose the route we are following before we came to learn something.
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Will say a prayer for Trasie to be ok. Also pray you have peace knowing you were fortunate to have children and I am sure they love you back and wouldn't trade their lives in for anything. I am sure it is harder to see this go on with a baby so young, my heart breaks for you all. Lots of love and prayer... keep us posted please. :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Twirl don't go on a guilt trip. You did the best that you knew how to do at the time. I will be praying
for Trasie.
Love, Mimi
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:grouphug;
God looks over this child. Pray for her.
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Don't blame yourself. Please know we are all hoping and praying for a good outcome. :grouphug;
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i'd be surprised/shocked if it was pkd as it usually does'nt surface till at least 15 at the earliest.
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Prayers are with you.
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:grouphug;
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:grouphug; Your Family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Fixed icon (group hug) Boxman,Moderator
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lots of prayers and lots of :grouphug; coming your way from Marvin and me
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As hard as it may be to do, don't get ahead of yourself...one day at a time....we're all pulling for you and your family.
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I will keep you in prayer!!!! Your not selfish. Children are Gods gift and I truely believe that.
Lori/Indiana
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twirl :cuddle; I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted.
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Twirl,
Children are a treasure from the Lord. You did not cause this.
Praying for good news. :big hug: Please keep us posted.
NolaGail
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The way you stated your question, Twirl, in effect answers it. You knew there was a risk; you heard some soothing words from a doctor; and then you decided to go ahead with the risk. Who is to blame for how the risk may have turned out for the child? You? The doctor who incorrectly tried to minimize the significance of the risk? The medical system for not being able to cure the condition? God for creating a world in which such horrors can befall innocent children, and for building an irrational desire into people to breed whatever the risks? There are countless agents to which we could assign the blame, depending on our explanatory preferences.
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Twirl. First, like others have said, don't get ahead of yourself. Second, know that we are all here for you to rant and vent to - we care. Third, no you're not selfish, you're human for wanting children. :cuddle;
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Thank you for your kind words and they did make a difference to me.
Stasie is about 4-5 months pregnant and she is spotting now and has to go to the hospital.
Trasie has her sonogram tomorrow at 1:30 and can not eat anything until after her test and she may have to stay all night.
bad things happen to good people
you are all wonderful and comforting and thanks
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I think illnesses run in families. My father always had stomach ulcers. He had his appendix out at age 18, he said it was horrible, that was in the days the only anesthesia was ether. He was sick all his life with stomach ulcers, had three stomach operations, at least half his stomach was removed. When he was over 70, he developed cirrhosis of the liver, this was a man who had a glass of wine at Christmas, never drank except for that. it killed him at 75. He also had his gall bladder out in his 50's. My sister (his daughter) had her gall bladder out at 40 and her daughter had hers out at 16. Wow- younger and younger, three generations! And I developed kidnry failure at 48, though I didn't need dialysis till I was 54. I look at my kids, they are a lot of work , a lot of heartache, but both are healthy, just average girls, now 18 and 19. I have a nephew with autism and a niece whose liver failed and got a liver transplant two weeks ago. She had been jaundiced, her legs swelled so bad she couldn't walk. She now has a miracle-a new lease on life. Walk a mile in my shoes . . .
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Twirl,
Do not beat yourself up over this. None of us ever knows what the future holds for us. We live our
life as we should and we make our choices to celebrate life. As it should be. You had every right to have your precious children, as we all do. Life is not fair. And life is sure not easy. Some roads are harder
then others. Your children were your celebration of life and your grandchildren as well. None of us can choose, unfortunately, what traits we pass to our offspring. I do not blame my father for our family's
PKD nor do my kids blame me. These children will not blame you. You gave them life. God will take care of the rest. The liver could be something or it could be nothing, wait and see. And yes, bad things DO happen to good people. We will all be praying for you, and for your daughter and grand daughter as well. Everyone has the right to experience the joy of having children and you especially deserved to have that light in your life. You did not cause this to happen. Everything we do in our life is a crap shoot. Every day we roll the dice. I will pray for your family. IrishGirl
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your words are great comfort to me and I read them all everytime I go to IHD
I am so grateful I found IHD
Trasie's liver in fine but she has a cyst on one kidney
she is going to a renal pedi doctor soon
Monday we bring in a urine sample and she is having blood tests done
then we go see a pedi renal doc
I will keep you informed
Stauffenberg-- I did not know about the risks. I focused on the reason for all the misscarriages. It had nothing to do with PKD. I incorrectly
thought if I had a big problem the docs would inform me.
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twirl, I just now read this thread. You have not caused pain to anyone. I had thoughts like that 2 years ago when my 10 year old son had to have heart surgery. I know it's so hard, but you can't think that way. Think about love for your children and little grandaughter. :cuddle;
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hi twirl,
I was wondering what happened with Trasie and how she's doing.
:cuddle;
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thank you
and she is almost 2
and she adores me
she still has to go to a kidney child doctor
there is not immediate rush
but she does have PKD
Stasie is having her second child in a few months
do you know that her mother-in-law is mad at me for handing down this God awful disease to "her" grandchildren
as if, my twin and older sister did not get PKD
so now I am God and I decide?
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:grouphug; People are cruel and heartless sometimes. What if it was the other way around. You would not blame anyone. :)
EDITED:Fixed smiley tag error-kitkatz,moderator
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so decreed.... the mother-in law mst have PKD
forgive me.
all good thoghts and God's blessings to Trasie.
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thank you and I really do feel better
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Twirl, please believe THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT (yes I am shouting :) ). I'm so annoyed with anyone who tries to place blame all the time, that's where all this world is so wrong. We can't do anything now in case someone blames us (and probably sues us) we need to accept that sh*t happens, no-one is to blame in a lot of cases and in those cases where they are, well what good is blame going to do? Will it make things better? NO. :rant;
Sorry Twirl but I am so annoyed to think that people have been getting at you - let those without sin cast the first stone eh!! And I hope things will go OK for you and your lovely family. :cuddle;
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stasie is pregnant again with her 2nd child, it was a surprise
I went with her today for a sonogram - she is in her 7th month and he is a boy, Scott Allen
the sonogram showed his kidneys are prominent - usually it is hard to pick out the kidneys but his are very obvious
we are going to a specialist in Clear Lake for a more in dep sonogram
PKD again
Trasie, her other child has a cyst on one of her kidneys
I felt so horrible when Stasie was sitting on the table being told this with tears running down her eyes
Trasie can wait until she is older for a better look at her kidneys (Trasie will be 2 in sept)
I can't help but feel guilty but I love my children so much and maybe I was selfish in wanting children
I told my son-in-law that I was so sorry- he is not blaming me
OMG and what will Stauffenberg comment
:'( I am so sorry
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Twirl, please take this to heart. Love is useful in a situation like this. Guilt is not. Guilt that can change nothing is a thief. Don't let it rob you or those kiddies. Please don't. Your son-in-law has it right. :cuddle;
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Prayers are in order. :grouphug;
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Twirl, When I was 5 months pregnant with my son, I had a blood test done and they thought he might have Down's Syndrome. I had to undergo amniocentesis and a state-of-the-art (at that time) sonogram. My son did not have Down's Syndrome, but they told me that he had unusually large kidneys. He is now 17. I don't think there was a blood test for PKD at the time. I do not know if he has PKD, but so far he has no sign of it. He is a joy in my life. I know some of what you are feeling. I do. Please focus on loving your grandkids. That's the most productive way to use your energy. :cuddle;
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:grouphug;
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Twirl, we are all here for a reason, whether we face illlness or not.
If some doctor would have let my mother know ahead of time that I would have kidney disease and she had a choice to have me or not, I would hope that she would have chose to have me. Regardless of this disease I have, I enjoy life and am very glad to be here on this earth.
You and your family are in my prayers! :cuddle;
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Twirl- there are lot of opinions on this subject- and not one of them matter in the face of your so very real pain. :grouphug;
I think Monrein said it so right, Love is useful in a situation like this. Guilt is not. Guilt that can change nothing is a thief. Don't let it rob you or those kiddies.
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I have to disagree with Monrein on this one. The question for humanity is not what is useful, but what is just. If justice requires that you blame yourself, then the fact that self-blame is not 'useful' and is a 'thief' of happiness has nothing to do with how you should feel. Should Adolph Eichman go whistling happily down the street because doting on Auschwitz couldn't fix anything at this point? Since we are not animals but people, our duty is not just to arrange our thoughts so that we feel happy, but is to meet the challenge of judging our behavior ethically and then to live with the responsibility.
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Come on now what good is guilt and anyway who is to dictate what we should feel guilty about? We are all going to die one way or another ergo we shouldn't be born. Well I'm fed up of that attitude, we ARE here and we must do all we can to make life better for each other not try to place blame. Twirl what has happened has happened, guilt won't help but support and love for your family will. So ditch the guilt and dish the love :rant;
One life - live it!
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twirl,
Could you be a mom and not have guilt? I have it over every choice I made ever, because I think maybe I could have done better with my kids.
The news about the baby sucks. I am so sorry. But if it were me I would try to help however I can. Taking blame is not as effective as helping your daughter cope, supporting your son-in-law, giving hugs and hanging tough.
There are some good views expressed here. Take what you need and discard the rest.
love you twirly.
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Hey Twirly. Being a Mom or an auntie or anyone on this crazy planet means we are in for guilt. It come with the territory. Especially the woman side of life. There is guilt for having kids, guilt for not having kids, guilt staying home,guilt going to work. On and on and on.
Love you for who you are and the wonderful life and contributions you have made!
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Twirl, please take this to heart. Love is useful in a situation like this. Guilt is not. Guilt that can change nothing is a thief. Don't let it rob you or those kiddies. Please don't. Your son-in-law has it right. :cuddle;
This is really good advice. There is nothing you can do about what has already happened and there was no way for you to know how things would turn out. Love the people in your life and let go fo the guilt. And ignore Stauffenberg.
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my daughter and her husband had the sonogram done Wed in Clear Lake City
it was very detailed and so far while the kidneys are larger than usual but everything looks okay
we will do this again in about three weeks
the baby is gaining weight
and Stasie's fluid level is normal now----- was low, which can indicate kidney problems in the baby
thank you for your prayers
and please do not forget us
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This is very good news, Twirl.
I am jealous because you are a already a Grandma! I think I have to wait awhile. Mine is 17 and hasn't even had a serious girlfiend yet!
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We will continue to hold all of you in our prayers. Glad this sonogram went ok. :thumbup;
And Kitkatz is right--women will always have guilt. She said it perfectly! But, I really like Monrein's advice about guilt changing nothing. We are here for you :grouphug;
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Twirl, I'm thinking of you and your daughter's family every day and putting all of my good thoughts towards that developing baby. I hope you know we couldn't ever forget you. :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle;
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Hope the news just gets better and better! You're in my thoughts and prayers, Twirl! :cuddle;
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Thanks for the update. I pray she's ok, and the baby too.
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I won't forget about you or your dear family Twirl. :grouphug;
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Hey twirl. Just wanted to give you a big old :cuddle; and tell you I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.
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Wishing you all rhe very best :grouphug;