I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: petey on February 18, 2008, 03:08:31 PM

Title: loved and lost
Post by: petey on February 18, 2008, 03:08:31 PM
In the thread about Goofynina, mallory said it was hard having to deal with losing someone like Susie.  I agree.  In Marvin's 12 1/2-year experience with in-center hemodialysis, he saw a lot of other patients/friends come and, unfortunately, go.  At his clinic, very few of the patients were even on the list, so when they left the clinic, it was almost always because they died.  Marvin had a hard time with that.

When he first started, Marvin was the clinic's "baby."  All the other patients thought they had to "look out" for him because he was so young (only 39 at the time).  Over the years, he got close to quite a few of the ones there.  By the time he left in-center for home hemo last summer, Marvin had become the "longest survivor" at his clinic, and that really, really bothered him.  He said at 52 years old, he was too young to have the most seniority there.  Don't take that wrong...Marvin is so happy that he's a long-time survivor, but he said that when you've been the longest there, you had to watch a lot of the others go before you.

I keep reminding Marvin of the saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."  I think I'll try to remember that about Goofynina, too.  It was hard to lose her, but I'm so glad I knew her.
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on February 18, 2008, 03:16:54 PM
I was thinking about how we need to have an outpouring of love for
our family and friends while they are living as well as when thed leave us.
When people touch our lives, ouch our heaarts in a good way, we really
need to let them know how much they are appreciated.
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Sluff on February 18, 2008, 03:45:17 PM
I think we all take our loved ones for granted, we assume they just know we love them. Unfortunately loss is part of Love.
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: MyssAnne on February 18, 2008, 03:48:21 PM
I know, since Goofy was taken back to the hospital with complications, I had been
more overt in my actions and talk with family and friends. We do need to be more
loving towards our loved ones, let them know how much we love them, and appreciate
them as they are.  -*********
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Joe Paul on February 18, 2008, 03:56:02 PM
Don't forget those right here in front of us, the moderators and the Admin, Sluff & Rossman ( Rossman is behind the scenes, but just as important no less ). Thanks to all of you for your hard work and all your efforts here at IHD.
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Sluff on February 18, 2008, 04:01:59 PM
Don't forget those right here in front of us, the moderators and the Admin, Sluff & Rossman ( Rossman is behind the scenes, but just as important no less ). Thanks to all of you for your hard work and all your efforts here at IHD.

Thank you JP.  :beer1;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: petey on February 18, 2008, 05:50:24 PM
Goofynina was always writing "lol" and sending big hugs to those on IHD.  I want to try (though I know I'll come short) to follow her example.  I want to try to be more open with my love and appreciation for those who are important in my life.  I will try to give hugs and "I love yous" more to my family and friends.  I also want to find more laughter in my everyday life (Goofynina-style! -- my, how she did love to laugh and "cut up" and enjoy life).

Here's what I want to say to some of you, my IHD family:

Sluff -- you are a rock!  From my time here, I've come to realize that you are the backbone of IHD.  This site means so much to me and has helped me tremendously -- thank you, Sluff! for being our rock and for helping to make this a place where I can come to share, cry, and laugh.  You are our leader -- and you're a damn good one!  You are the ultimate Daddy-O of all Daddy-O's.

Karol -- You are a wealth of knowledge and a source of inspiration.  You're always there!  You are the "steady" of IHD -- when someone has a question, you're there; when someone is hurting, you're there; when someone is happy, you're there.  You give so much of your time and your attention to us.  Now that Jenna (that beautiful, beautiful child) has a "new" kidney, you could have said, "See you later.  Jenna's got her transplant and through with dialysis, and the rest of you are on your own."  But, you didn't.  You stuck in here with us.  You're still here helping us walk this difficult, difficult road.  That makes you tops in my book!

Kitkatz -- You make us all think.  Your posts are so thought-provoking.  I'm absolutely awed by your intelligence and insight.  I'm also mighty impressed by your persistance -- what an inspiration you are.  In my next life, I want to come back as your twin!

willieandwinnie -- you're my "new" sister -- and I love you!  You know exactly where I am because you're there, too.

paris -- you're an angel.  You showed up at the hospital when I needed a little "pick-me-up" the most.  I will never, never, never, never forget that!


...stayed tuned for more -- I'm not through yet!!


Thank you all for being a part of my life.
Marsha


Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Romona on February 18, 2008, 05:57:16 PM
Marsha,
That is a beautiful post.  :2thumbsup;

Don't forget those right here in front of us, the moderators and the Admin, Sluff & Rossman ( Rossman is behind the scenes, but just as important no less ). Thanks to all of you for your hard work and all your efforts here at IHD.

I agree with Joe Paul.  :2thumbsup;

And a big Thank You to everyone here.  :thx;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Sluff on February 18, 2008, 06:19:35 PM
I know I have said this before but it is worth repeating.

IHD would not exist if it weren't for the members who post religiously. Yes it was a great idea that our wonderful creator Epoman had when he devoted his life to the renal community with all of his many websites, however all the things the Admin team does would not be needed without our faithful members, so in reality the credit goes to our members.  ;)

Getting a thank you now and then is very much appreciated.
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: CW on February 18, 2008, 07:42:18 PM
In Marvin's 12 1/2-year experience with in-center hemodialysis, he saw a lot of other patients/friends come and, unfortunately, go. At his clinic, very few of the patients were even on the list, so when they left the clinic, it was almost always because they died. Marvin had a hard time with that.


I have seen some very young patients die and it was very scary for me being that I was around the same age as these patients. One girl was 22 years old and she liked to skip dialysis and come in late. Another guy was 27 and he told me all about how he felt grateful that he was able to have a son while he had his transplant. I wish I had reached out to these patients. I might have not been able to save them but maybe I could tell you more about them.

Rest in peace to all of my kidney sisters and brothers that have left this world too soon.

CW
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: KT0930 on February 18, 2008, 07:49:36 PM
It's not just in times of great sorrow, but also times of great joy, that I notice myself letting my family know how much they mean to me. Like others have said, though, I need to remember during the everyday times. My family is why I persevere through everything.

And to my adopted family here on IHD, thank you listening and caring and understanding all I've been through. Y'all are great! Sluff, Karol, Kit, Bajanne, and Rossman (any any others I might have forgotten...sorry!) thank you for everything you do to keep this site working - it's always there when I need it!  :clap;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: kitkatz on February 18, 2008, 08:59:18 PM
Losing someone we felt so close to hurts.  I know there is a part of me that has crawled under a rock and may not be out for awhile. I know I appreciate the IHD family more now than ever. Your outpourings of love and graciousness towards Susie and Sam and the IHD team have been heart warming to say the least.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: rose1999 on February 18, 2008, 10:22:30 PM
I agree with every word that Petey and the others have said.  Whatever Sulfa says, without him and the rest of the admin team this site would not be what it is. Equally without the caring, sharing people who open up their hearts and post on here - well it would just be another forum with no heart.  It's 4 years today since my hisband Barry died (aged 52) - it's also Susie's funeral, so a doubly sad day - but although I miss Barry dreadfully I always take comfort in the fact that I did everything I could when he was here and he knew I loved him more than anyone in the world.  I make sure that I TELL those that matter that I love them, life is too short to have regrets.  Losing hurts, but only because we loved them, never having known love must be worse. Sorry if I'm waffling, sometimes it's good to just let it out.

I love all of you on here and thanks for letting me be a part of it all. :grouphug;

Rose xxx
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: rose1999 on February 18, 2008, 10:23:48 PM
For Sulfa read SLUFF  damn spell check  :rofl;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: petey on February 19, 2008, 03:09:14 AM
Even in my "weepy" moments, this place can make me laugh...

Rose, I think Sluff has a new name!!   SULFA  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: willieandwinnie on February 19, 2008, 03:46:50 AM
Thank you petey. I feel like I have come to know my family better. I have received so much support and compasion from everyone here and look forward to coming here everyday to read the good and the bad and maybe help someone with a question or 2 and lift someones spirits if their down. That's what family's do. Sluff, thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you do, Rossman too. Kitkatz, thanks for being you. Okarol, your wealth of knowledge and wisdom I admire so much. bajanne2000, thank you for all your encouraging words. paris, you are just a real sweatheart. I just had to put my  :twocents; in. All our members are special people or we wouldn't be here.
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: rose1999 on February 19, 2008, 04:58:01 AM
Even in my "weepy" moments, this place can make me laugh...

Rose, I think Sluff has a new name!!   SULFA  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

He'll kill me!!  Or at least throw me off here  :rofl; :rofl;
Sluff I am SO SORRY  :oops;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: kitkatz on February 19, 2008, 06:19:25 AM
It is okay. Sluff has several different names.
Victor called him Fluff or Fluffy one night.
You called him Sulfa.
Susie's mom called him Sludge.

Poor guy. Just can't spell that name correctly.

Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: petey on February 19, 2008, 06:57:31 AM
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

I'm not laughing AT you, Sluff (aka Fluffy or Sludge) -- I'm laughing WITH you!  Let me hear you chuckle!
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Joe Paul on February 19, 2008, 07:03:03 AM
It is okay. Sluff has several different names.
Victor called him Fluff or Fluffy one night.
You called him Sulfa.
Susie's mom called him Sludge.

Poor guy. Just can't spell that name correctly.


Call the poor guy anything but late for dinner  :rofl;  J/K of course  >:D
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Sluff on February 19, 2008, 07:03:27 AM


It is okay. Sluff has several different names.
Victor called him Fluff or Fluffy one night.
You called him Sulfa.
Susie's mom called him Sludge.

Poor guy. Just can't spell that name correctly.


Call the poor guy anything but late for dinner :rofl; J/K of course >:D


JP has it right... :)

PERMA BAN.... >:D......Rose1999... :rofl; Now when you find out what Sluff really stands for you'd never forget.  :rofl;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: petey on February 19, 2008, 07:20:15 AM
Oh, tell, tell!
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Sluff on February 19, 2008, 07:21:04 AM
Oh, tell, tell!


I will in the premium member section  >:D ;)
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: rose1999 on February 19, 2008, 08:25:57 AM
If you won't tell us we'll have to make up our own suggestions  >:D

What do you think fellow IHD members?

Strong
Loving, but
Underneath
Faintly
Fluffy

any other ideas???? Come on you can all do better than that  :2thumbsup;


Edited: Fixed bold tag - okarol/moderator
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: kidney4traci on February 19, 2008, 08:44:28 AM
Sluff, you are the rock here as mentioned.  I always look forwrd to reading your posts.  Paris, your caring and love for others really shines through and is inspirational to me.  Karol, you are always brilliant with wisdom and research.  I do appreciate all that post here and even if not mentioned, I want you to know you have brought peace and knowledge to me and I know countless others.  Being able to come here and say whatever is very healing in itself.  We can feel so isolated with esrd, even those closest don't understand everything we go through.  But I always know I can hop on here and someone will respond.  Thank you.   :grouphug;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Ohio Buckeye on February 19, 2008, 09:51:50 AM
Rose, I'm sorry you lost your husband.
That is so hard.  I lost mine also. 
The anniversary is a hard day to get through.
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Sluff on February 19, 2008, 10:10:07 AM
If you won't tell us we'll have to make up our own suggestions  >:D

What do you think fellow IHD members?

Strong
Loving, but
Underneath
Faintly
Fluffy

any other ideas???? Come on you can all do better than that  :2thumbsup;

 :rofl;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: okarol on February 19, 2008, 10:23:21 AM


It is okay. Sluff has several different names.
Victor called him Fluff or Fluffy one night.
You called him Sulfa.
Susie's mom called him Sludge.

Poor guy. Just can't spell that name correctly.


Call the poor guy anything but late for dinner :rofl; J/K of course >:D


JP has it right... :)

PERMA BAN.... >:D......Rose1999... :rofl; Now when you find out what Sluff really stands for you'd never forget.  :rofl;

When Susie's mom called you "Sludge" I said "It's actually Sluff" and she said "Oh Susie always said I got that name wrong!" So I told her what it actually meant and we had a good laugh!
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: aharris2 on February 19, 2008, 11:00:27 AM
If you won't tell us we'll have to make up our own suggestions  >:D
What do you think fellow IHD members?

Strong
Loving
, but
Underneath
Faintly
Fluffy

any other ideas???? Come on you can all do better than that  :2thumbsup;

Well S.L.U.F.F., don't worry, I will leave it to you to share what it means. But actually you are becoming more and more like the alternate definition, you mushy mushy guy.  :rofl;

Ro

But, "Sulfa works too - S.U.L.F.Administrator  :clap;

Alene
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: rose1999 on February 19, 2008, 12:38:49 PM
Karol if you know what it means then it's your duty to share - aw go on  :secret;  please!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: xtrememoosetrax on February 19, 2008, 12:48:33 PM
Actually, it's already a matter of public record.  See this thread: http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=593.20

Beware! Quite shocking!!  ;) :rofl;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Sluff on February 19, 2008, 12:57:27 PM
You had to tell my secret didn't you?  :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: petey on February 19, 2008, 02:56:14 PM
Sluff, I didn't go to the link that xtrememoose listed because you know what I want to do to get that information  ;).
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: xtrememoosetrax on February 19, 2008, 02:59:17 PM
You had to tell my secret didn't you?  :rofl; :rofl;
Oh good heavens, I had no idea it was a secret!  :oops;  >:D  :rofl;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: MyssAnne on February 19, 2008, 03:55:48 PM


 Thank YOU for telling us!!! Now we know.  Sluff, there really should be no secrets
 
   among family members anyway, aren't we a family????

   
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Slywalker on February 19, 2008, 04:43:50 PM
xtrememoosetrax thanks for the link - and I'm not sure anything is secret on this board.

But Petey has a good point about loved and lost.  I do appreciate and love everyone that is in my life and I do try and make sure everyone knows. 
To the moderators, administrators and the techie types that keep this board going - thank you very very very much.

 Communities do form online and while I was hanging out on a breast cancer support board a university contacted us because they were doing a study on support that people find on these type of online connections.  You can probably guess without reading the study, but they found it actually does a person good to be part of an online community and it decreases the amount of depression that some folks may experience. 

Take care folks - and Sluff - your secret about sluff is save with me!!!

Sandyb
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: Sluff on February 19, 2008, 05:51:30 PM
Sluff, I didn't go to the link that xtrememoose listed because you know what I want to do to get that information  ;).


good lil ole petey.. :rofl;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: del on February 19, 2008, 06:13:11 PM
I agree with petey and the others everyone here is great.  Hubby did in center for 6 years.  We saw a lot of people that we got to care very deeply about pass on. It was hard not to be able to talk and laugh with them anymore but they will always be in our memories. I am so glad hubby is on home hemo now.  We both miss the socializing sometimes but at least you don't have to see the people that are really sick and dying.  One of hubby's best buddies "died " in the chair next to him one day.  he was revived but only to die a couple of weks later. We used to stay at his house with him and his wife sometimes when the weather was bad.  The last time jack went to dialysis he went with us. He had called us on Friday night to come in and stay.  The weather wasn't really bad I think he just wanted some company. he went to dialysis with us that morning instead of his wife having to drive him. On Tues morning when we got to the hospital one of the nurse's was there waiting to tell us that he had died about 6 o'clock that morning in emerg.  About an hour before we got to the hospital.  A big  :grouphug; to everyone.

Now I have to go back and see what sluff stands for!!!
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: del on February 19, 2008, 06:16:52 PM
Sluff I like the story behind your name!!!
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: petey on February 19, 2008, 06:32:37 PM
Please don't tell me yet what Sluff stands for...I have my own way of finding out.
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: rose1999 on February 19, 2008, 10:46:10 PM
Actually, it's already a matter of public record.  See this thread: http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=593.20

Beware! Quite shocking!!  ;) :rofl;

I'll never view Sluff in quite the same light again  :rofl;.  Love it Sluff, love it  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: loved and lost
Post by: kidney4traci on February 20, 2008, 04:44:57 AM
S.L.U.F.F. -  :rofl; you could have fooled me!  You look big and bad next to your bike!!!