I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: tbarrett2533 on August 17, 2011, 02:13:56 PM
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First I would like to say that I have been on dialysis almost a year (9-23-11) and I have NEVER and I mean NEVER used kidney failure to my advantage until today....
My boyfriend's mother had invited us to a free concert a few towns over about 3 weeks ago, and at the time it seemed like it would be fun so we said we would go.... until the day arrived (today) and my boyfriend and I really do not want to go so we sat and thought and thought of a way to get out of it then finally I spoke up and said (which by the way is totally true), "I can't go that far away today I am doing my first 24 hour urine collection and I need to be home."
my boyfriend exclaimed, "That's It!! we will use that."
He called her and told her and she said, "that's a bummer."
once he got off the phone he looked at me and said, "That's one of the advantages of Kidney failure, you can get out of just about anything."
so I am wondering has anyone else ever done something like this? If so what was the circumstance?
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I get out of Christmas lunch with my husband's parents every year because I make sure to schedule a blood test on that day. Haven't seen them in years, and frankly, they don't care and neither do I.
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In the '90s I worked setting up tradeshows at the various venues in the Seattle/Tacoma area (these days I work in the warehouse and don't get out to show sites much). If the job isn't finished, or the work hasn't progressed to the point it need it to be, pretty ccommon occurance, the foremen expect people to "volunteer" for over time. When this happened it also usually meant that the something was going wrong making the work more difficult - short people or changes or just typical BS - but mostly people did the OT because you wanted to get called back and the foreman has wide discretion about who to call out. You never want to piss off your foreman.
Anyway, on days I was going to D after work I'd say I'd like to stay but I'll die and I could sign out without it being held against me.
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I was excused from Jury duty, twice. :thumbup;
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I was excused from Jury duty, twice. :thumbup;
Oh yeah..me, too! I forgot about that one. Thing is, though, I would have been happy to serve, but the week they needed me, I was having fistula surgery.
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- short people or changes or just typical BS -
Yeah, those short people can really screw things up!! :P
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Yes we can!!!! Lol
lmunchkin
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I think sometimes my family schedules dinners and parties on Sunday evenings so I can't go because they know I have dialysis.
But, it works to my advantage too. :cheer:
Great topic!
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I think my number one was when my MIL decided I should be in charge of planning the next family reunion. What? I'm lucky if I remembered my hubby's aunts' names, let alone the whole extended family!
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I never ran into this but I'd say I have dialysis, and I could also use sorry I am not feeling well so I am in the er.
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You've kinda got the Golden ticket.....
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:kiss; LOVE THIS TOPIC! My ex-mother-in-law used to make duck whenever we would visit. I can't stand duck, frankly hated seeing them pluck the poor thing before eating it. I told them that I couldn't eat it because of the kidney disease... grilled cheese for me :)
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I use the kidney thing whenever I want to get out of something, even tho I am not yet on D. I just tell them, I am not feeling well and they say, oh, I am so sorry to hear that. I love this thread!!!
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with what you all are going through you SHOULD use it to get out of whatever you want, whenever you want, and not feel the least bit guilty about it. Dialysis is the ONE thing you CAN'T get out of, so work it ;D
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Anyway, on days I was going to D after work I'd say I'd like to stay but I'll die and I could sign out without it being held against me.
I am def going to use this one!!! I love it!!
:2thumbsup;
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Oh yea and I do not even feel bad that I did this either (should I :waiting;)
Kidney failure has to have some advantages (other than life) :)
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sometimes when we have events that we both don't feel like going, my wife will say "he has to do his dialysis, so unfortunately we are unable to make it".
you're not the only one that does this :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup;
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When I was on PD I used the kidney card all the time. It's the card I was dealt so what the heck....I am gonna use it.
Now that I have a transplant....I use the transplant card to get out of stuff. ;D Most people I know still think I am just as restricted as I was while I was on dialysis. They don't know any different. ::) kidney transplant, dialysis it's all the same to them. ::)
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I use this all the time to get out of crap with my ILs. I am already planning on using it in October to bow out of my niece's birthday party. They can't seem to be able to separate family party from friend party and I really just don't want to spend a third year in a row at Jump Zone eating crappy food and not being able to spend any time with my niece.
I'll use the excuse that small children are germ factories and I can't be around them in large groups.
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Oh yeah - great thread!
I got out of a speeding ticket once. This was on my motorcycle, too.
Officer (after the license, rego and insurance thing): Where you headed? Me: Home. Officer: Where you coming from? Me: Dialysis...I have kidney failure and have to do dialysis three time a week. I'm just now getting home.
His attitude suddenly dropped and his voice got soft: OK, be careful on the rest of your trip and good luck.
That would have been a 75 in a 55 as I had just passed a car, too!
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I've been using the kidney card for years. I feel a bit guilty about it, but many times I actually don't feel well enough to do things that I had planned to do.
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I have a disabled placard....... I use it too. I'm just waiting for someone to say something to me so I can pull up my sleeve and say "LOOK I"m on lifesaving dialysis 3 times a week where all the blood is sucked out of me, cleaned, and shoved back in me" So, I'll park there if I want to. It is great during Christmas shopping.
:waiting; :flower;
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Ya know what? I didn't feel guilty for more than a mili-second when I used the ESRD card when I was still on D. Hey, I had a limited amount of time and a very limited amount of energy. Why should I have used either for something I didn't want to do?!
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I was about to drive to my dialysis center for my treatment, when my car refused to start--dead battery.
I saw a guy doing maintenance on a building nearby. I walked over to him and explained that I've got ESRD and I've got to get to dialysis. He heard that story, he immediately stopped what he was doing, brought his truck right over to my car, and gave me a boost with his own battery cables.
Evidently ESRD has quite a reputation; I never knew how many people know about that thing.
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Evidently ESRD has quite a reputation; I never knew how many people know about that thing.
Given the rapidly expanding numbers of people needing to start, I guess we shouldn't be surprised that more people at least know it means we're sick - even if they haven't got a lot of info about the specifics.
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I used it to get out of going to see Conan with my friends. I loved the original and don't want to see the re-make. I used the time to go with my wife to another theater and see Fright Night!
8)
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KareninWa started a post just like this http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=18172.msg314458#msg314458
just thought I share
xo,
R
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I use this one all the time to get out of leaving early I just say I'm on Pd and need to do my tretment so I get to leave early or if the party starts to late I just say I cant go because I need to do this at such time.I aslo use I only have 1/3 of the enery you do so I cant go I'm to tierd.
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I have a disabled placard....... I use it too. I'm just waiting for someone to say something to me so I can pull up my sleeve and say "LOOK I"m on lifesaving dialysis 3 times a week where all the blood is sucked out of me, cleaned, and shoved back in me" So, I'll park there if I want to. It is great during Christmas shopping.
+1
I only use my placard when the weather is lousy or my fluid levels are up. It is nice to have. (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-merv/groucho.gif)
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You've kinda got the Golden ticket.....
:rofl; I think this only applies if you still urinate! Lol! I have not actually used this myself but my husband has (with my permission and blessing). He's gotten out of things at work and even got our landlord to fix something he'd been putting off fixing by telling him that my neph was concerned about me living under such conditions!
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I had never played the dialysis card, but last week my husband had surgery and was stuck in the recovery room waiting on a room for several hours. I had to leave and go to dialysis. I went to the desk to see if there was anything I could do. As I was talking to them, the recovery room called and said that my husband told them I needed to go to dialysis and he needed to see me before I left. I was invited to go to the recovery room to see him. I was relieved to see him before I had to leave. So actually my husband played the dialysis card.
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This is a great thread! I played the d card a few times but Ive only used the transplant card once and i felt really guilty!
It was a friends wedding last year on a Monday and i couldn't just book the day of work as im a teacher so i went away for the wedding and called in sick on the Monday. I just said i had some strange blood results, quoted a few numbers at them and said i had to go into hospital for more bloods.
The wedding was lovely but felt terrible the next day when my colleagues were all concerned and i had to say everything was fine again! Didn't feel bad doing it while on d but feel really guilty using my transplant...guess im scared i might just jinx something!
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When I was in high school, grade 12, I had English first period in the morning, and there were just some mornings that I didn't feel like discussing the symbolism in A Separate Peace (God, I hated that book), so I'd just skip the class. The teacher would usually see me later in the day, probably cuz her classroom was next to the cafeteria, and she'd ask me where I was. I'd tell her that I had to go for bloodwork that morning and that the waiting room was full, so by the time I got out of there and to the school, the class was almost over anyway. What she didn't know, was that as a transplant patient, I had priority, so I could jump the line. *L*
What I think is cool about this, the teacher went to my mother and told her what I was doing. Mom told her to leave me alone, and flunk me if she had to. The way she put it to me was that she told the teacher that I'd been so much crap in my life, and for the first time, I was actually having some fun.
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I get out of grocery shopping regularly by telling hubby I do not feel well. :thx;
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I live in Oregon, my family is in Minnesota. My mom wants me to go visit them every year. I think we should alternate visits as long as they remain healthy and able to travel, or even meet somewhere for a "real" vacation. I hate giving up all of my vacation time to small-town Minnesota where I spend the whole week sitting in their living room playing solitaire. It means I never get to go anywhere even remotely vacation-like. Mom started playing the age card several years ago as a way to insist I make the trek out there every year. She asked me a month ago when I was going to visit them again. I told her I'm not allowed to go anywhere since I'm on the transplant list. Suddenly, she's not too old to travel and they're thinking about coming out here.
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I live in Oregon, my family is in Minnesota. My mom wants me to go visit them every year. I think we should alternate visits as long as they remain healthy and able to travel, or even meet somewhere for a "real" vacation. I hate giving up all of my vacation time to small-town Minnesota where I spend the whole week sitting in their living room playing solitaire. It means I never get to go anywhere even remotely vacation-like. Mom started playing the age card several years ago as a way to insist I make the trek out there every year. She asked me a month ago when I was going to visit them again. I told her I'm not allowed to go anywhere since I'm on the transplant list. Suddenly, she's not too old to travel and they're thinking about coming out here.
so, never tell her that isn't the case... or if you go on vacation, it'll have to be kept secret
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Can you get a handicap placard for your vehicle if your on dialysis?
Iwannabean
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Not in Virginia ::)
I don't know about this.... yesterday I had stopped to get some lunch and this guy parked in a handicapped space, plates and all. After he got his lunch he put the bag in his car and walked down to the video store at the other end of the shopping center. Walking that far and handicapped???
Of course he could have been borrowing someones car?? Who knows?
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One of the other patients at my center told me I would automatically be getting one. Well, when I asked the neph about it, she looked at me as if I had sprouted a 3rd head. I have no need for one on a daily basis, but we attend several events for my daughter that are held at some pretty large venues (convention centers, pro-football stadiums)...still a lot of necessary walking even once inside. She really made me feel like an idiot/lazy slacker for asking, which I believe she could have done differently.
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So far (thankfully!) I have not felt like I have needed a handicap placard. When Jim and I go shopping, we know which stores have the electric carts and are easier to get around if I need to.
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Come to think of it...even if he was borrowing someones car handicapped plates included, why was he parking in a handicapped space when he obviously had no problem walking.
Taking up a handicapped sapce from someone who may have really needed it.
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I have one, but it's not because I'm on dialysis. It's because I'm legally blind, and walking through parking lots, especially after dark, is incredibly dangerous for me. It really has nothing to do with how far I can walk, and more to do with how quickly I can get out of the parking lot and out of the way of cars that I may or may not see.
btw, I'm not the one driving.. *L*
I get a lot of weird looks sometimes when we park in a disabled spot. I get looks when using elevators meant for those in wheelchairs. It used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. If I didn't need to do it, I wouldn't
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Riki,I understand. I have a parking permit as well and people always give me dirty looks for using it, I have it because I have several herniated discs in my lower lumbar.
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Come to think of it...even if he was borrowing someones car handicapped plates included, why was he parking in a handicapped space when he obviously had no problem walking.
Taking up a handicapped sapce from someone who may have really needed it.
Yeah, I think as Riki and pagandialysis have shown, it is unwise and unfair to judge people based on a few moments of information. You just do not know their whole story and unless you want to be judged and policed by strangers, I would not make assumptions about others. Instead, I would accept that there will always be people who will abuse the system, but you won't necessarily know which people they are.
Renal patients seem particularly sensitive to comments of "you don't look sick". Well, that goes both ways. We are not the only population that endures this problem of people assuming we are faking, or that our situation is not that bad, or whatever.
I believe the vast majority of people do not use the placard even when they have it, because there is this idea that at any moment in time, there may be someone else who needs it more. I would say trust yourself - that if it would help to use the placard, use it. You do not have to answer to anyone, and if someone challenges you, tell them where they can go, from me if not from yourself! :)
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My ophthalmologist has recommended that I begin cane training, so they probably won't be giving me those dirty looks much longer
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You might like this. I get out of the car at a restaurant, a teen looks at me and says "What the p*ck makes you so handicapped?" My reply? "None of your damn business kid." The wife thought it was funny.
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You might like this. I get out of the car at a restaurant, a teen looks at me and says "What the p*ck makes you so handicapped?" My reply? "None of your damn business kid." The wife thought it was funny.
Oh, yeah! This made my day all right!
ROCK ON, pagandialysis! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
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You might like this. I get out of the car at a restaurant, a teen looks at me and says "What the p*ck makes you so handicapped?" My reply? "None of your damn business kid." The wife thought it was funny.
LOVE IT!! take that, nosy a-hole kid...
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Here's another thought on the handicapped placard, although admittedly, this one does not apply in most places.
In a city near me, there is a park with one row of parking spaces. It has 6 handicapped spaces, which is a lot considering there's maybe about 30 spaces total (that's a guess). So, of course, the handicapped spaces are always available. I remember going there and seeing a handicapped car parked in a regular spot. It kind of bothered me, because that car was taking up a valuable regular spot!
KarenInWA
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Here's another thought on the handicapped placard, although admittedly, this one does not apply in most places.
In a city near me, there is a park with one row of parking spaces. It has 6 handicapped spaces, which is a lot considering there's maybe about 30 spaces total (that's a guess). So, of course, the handicapped spaces are always available. I remember going there and seeing a handicapped car parked in a regular spot. It kind of bothered me, because that car was taking up a valuable regular spot!
KarenInWA
Karen, I think this completely relevant. Gwyn and I were talking about this the other day. Has anyone ever been to a lot and seen all of the handicapped spaces taken? The one place that I've seen run out of handicapped spaces is our local Walgreens lot. They are in a popular part of town, and I believe they only have 2, maybe 3, handicapped spaces. The irony is not lost on me that the pharmacy would be the ONE place in this city that does not have abundant handicapped spaces.
That is a fascinating perspective on a person with a placard taking a spot away from people who do not have both options. He or she undoubtedly thought they were doing the right thing. When Marc, Gwyn and I went to Red Rock, Marc had his placard. None of us was comfortable with the idea of parking in a handicapped spot and then trekking off on a 3-mile hike. So we took a regular space. Those lots tend to be packed, and that day was no exception, so perhaps we irritated someone without a placard. It does underscore that people with placards should not spend any energy trying to second guess the thoughts of the people around them.
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Has anyone ever been to a lot and seen all of the handicapped spaces taken?
Our Walmart has about 10 disabled spaces in their parking lot. I have seen them all full before, but not all of them were people with permits. We don't use ours all the time. If the place that we are at has open spots just as close as the disabled spots, we won't use the disabled spots. It leaves them open in case someone with a chair, who needs the wider spot, can use it.
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today I used ESRD to leave a wedding reception early. We stayed for dinner and the speeches and once the DJ started, we just weren't feeling it so we bailed and I used the kidney card to let the groom know why were were leaving.
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I just want to say that since I posted this and bassically broke the ice with the first time I pulled the kidney fialure card.... I use it all the time to get out of things I don't want to do!!!
When I first started doing it, I felt bad, you know the first few times or so, but not anymore....hell I did not ask for this dumb kidney failure, might as well take advantage of something it has to offer!!!!! >:D
now when people hear that I have it they all tilt their heads to the side and say, "Now that's to bad." UGGGHHH FML!!!!!!!
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I'm having my fistula surgery right before Thanksgiving so we have an excuse to skip mom's house. It was my wife's idea. She wants to have a dinner at home with her brother. His wife just left him, after running him into bankruptcy, and so I went along with it. I feel kind of guilty though. :stressed;
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I'm having my fistula surgery right before Thanksgiving so we have an excuse to skip mom's house. It was my wife's idea. She wants to have a dinner at home with her brother. His wife just left him, after running him into bankruptcy, and so I went along with it. I feel kind of guilty though. :stressed;
you will get over the guilt feeling..... I had it when I first started using it too!!!
If you got to deal with this crappy illness, then some of the benefits (like like the "kidney card") pay off...... just saying :cuddle; ;D :lol;
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I love it "The Kidney Card" We should have them made up like business cards, pass them out when we need them. Just sayin "just sayin"
Iwannabean (uwannabeantoo)
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I love it "The Kidney Card" We should have them made up like business cards, pass them out when we need them. Just sayin "just sayin"
Iwannabean (uwannabeantoo)
lets do it!!! :rofl;
on the back each one of us will have our transplant coordnator's contact info & our blood type right on there making it real easy for people...... what a good idea :bandance; :rofl; :clap;
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:2thumbsup; Great idea! I just might have to borrow this one!
I love it "The Kidney Card" We should have them made up like business cards, pass them out when we need them. Just sayin "just sayin"
Iwannabean (uwannabeantoo)
lets do it!!! :rofl;
on the back each one of us will have our transplant coordnator's contact info & our blood type right on there making it real easy for people...... what a good idea :bandance; :rofl; :clap;
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I love it "The Kidney Card" We should have them made up like business cards, pass them out when we need them. Just sayin "just sayin"
Iwannabean (uwannabeantoo)
lets do it!!! :rofl;
on the back each one of us will have our transplant coordnator's contact info & our blood type right on there making it real easy for people...... what a good idea :bandance; :rofl; :clap;
I like it! Sign me up!
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I love it "The Kidney Card" We should have them made up like business cards, pass them out when we need them. Just sayin "just sayin"
Iwannabean (uwannabeantoo)
lets do it!!! :rofl;
on the back each one of us will have our transplant coordnator's contact info & our blood type right on there making it real easy for people...... what a good idea :bandance; :rofl; :clap;
I like it! Sign me up!
and we can pull out the "kidney card" right when the dumb ass people say things like, "are you on the list?" which is almost ALWAYS the first thing I get ask so I will just whip out my "kidney card."
:urcrazy;
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I love it "The Kidney Card" We should have them made up like business cards, pass them out when we need them. Just sayin "just sayin"
Iwannabean (uwannabeantoo)
lets do it!!! :rofl;
on the back each one of us will have our transplant coordnator's contact info & our blood type right on there making it real easy for people...... what a good idea :bandance; :rofl; :clap;
I like it! Sign me up!
and we can pull out the "kidney card" right when the dumb ass people say things like, "are you on the list?" which is almost ALWAYS the first thing I get ask so I will just whip out my "kidney card."
:urcrazy;
I'm going to start answering that question with, "Nope. I'm just going to continue putting my body through hell for the fun of it."
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I love it "The Kidney Card" We should have them made up like business cards, pass them out when we need them. Just sayin "just sayin"
Iwannabean (uwannabeantoo)
lets do it!!! :rofl;
on the back each one of us will have our transplant coordnator's contact info & our blood type right on there making it real easy for people...... what a good idea :bandance; :rofl; :clap;
I like it! Sign me up!
and we can pull out the "kidney card" right when the dumb ass people say things like, "are you on the list?" which is almost ALWAYS the first thing I get ask so I will just whip out my "kidney card."
:urcrazy;
I'm going to start answering that question with, "Nope. I'm just going to continue putting my body through hell for the fun of it."
I actually got this one from here and used it the other day.......... I got asked........are you on the list..... I said, "There's a list? What list? What list are you talking about? a list?"
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You mean there is a list? How do you get on it? Is it a secret club? Do you have to be rich? What are the qualifications? :bandance; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;
OK seriously does anybody know anybody who is in the printing business. We could have Kidney cards printed up and I bet many would love to purchase them. :clap; Hmmmmm oh person of interest who knows a guy, who knows a guy, whose uncles cousin (who is in the printing business) contact us now :bow; Come and say hello :waving; and get the ball rolling. This is a great idea! :grouphug; :thx;
Iwannabean
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Putting out queries now!
OK seriously does anybody know anybody who is in the printing business. We could have Kidney cards printed up and I bet many would love to purchase them. :clap; Hmmmmm oh person of interest who knows a guy, who knows a guy, whose uncles cousin (who is in the printing business) contact us now :bow; Come and say hello :waving; and get the ball rolling. This is a great idea! :grouphug; :thx;
Iwannabean
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I use the I'm tired after dialysis (when most times I've full of energy) if I don't want go to my friends house party or birthday party. It's not fun watching other people drink alcohol like fish with no care to their bodies. Okay maybe I'm a bit jealous they don't have to care.
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I think it's a natural reaction to feel 'jealous' that others don't *have to* watch what they eat.
It's nearly 6:30PM and I'm thinking I might use ESRD to skip my 1 1/2 mile walk ..... feeling a bit 'blah'. Maybe I'll just do a 1/2 mile ....