I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: Kitty Cat on January 04, 2007, 06:13:31 PM
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Well, as I've sort of mentioned in a couple of posts, my husband hasn't been doing well and we weren't sure where this was going. We know now.
He's been having problems with his transplanted kidney from day 1. Please don't get us wrong we are so greatful for the year of him not having to do dialysis and even with the problems, it was worth it. Two weeks ago I had to rush him by ambulance to the emergency room because of severe abdominal pain, he couldn't stand or move. They finally figured out it had to do with the new kidney but weren't in a hurry to do anything unless it became worst because of it being major surgery. He's been refusing to go back to the emergency room and has been in severe pain ever since. Did I ever mention just how stubborn he can be?
Today in dialysis, his doctor saw him and realised how much pain he's in so that when the doctor touched his abdomen, he just about went through the roof. They are admitting him tomorrow morning for emergency surgery to remove the transplanted surgery. They are saying it needs to come out now. I am worried sick but am really trying to keep positive. Please send happy thoughts our way and I'll update tomorrow night after I get home from the hospital.
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Well, as I've sort of mentioned in a couple of posts, my husband hasn't been doing well and we weren't sure where this was going. We know now.
He's been having problems with his transplanted kidney from day 1. Please don't get us wrong we are so greatful for the year of him not having to do dialysis and even with the problems, it was worth it. Two weeks ago I had to rush him by ambulance to the emergency room because of severe abdominal pain, he couldn't stand or move. They finally figured out it had to do with the new kidney but weren't in a hurry to do anything unless it became worst because of it being major surgery. He's been refusing to go back to the emergency room and has been in severe pain ever since. Did I ever mention just how stubborn he can be?
Today in dialysis, his doctor saw him and realised how much pain he's in so that when the doctor touched his abdomen, he just about went through the roof. They are admitting him tomorrow morning for emergency surgery to remove the transplanted surgery. They are saying it needs to come out now. I am worried sick but am really trying to keep positive. Please send happy thoughts our way and I'll update tomorrow night after I get home from the hospital.
I think it must be a trait of most dialysis patients, I think we are all stubborn!
My prayers and thoughts are with you, keep positive and let us know how things go. :grouphug;
Tamara xxx ooo
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My prayers are with you and your hubby tonight and tomorrow! I hope he recovers quickly from surgery.
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Wow, I'm sorry he is in pain and has to have this surgery.
You and husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Keep us posted. Hope he has a speedy rcovery.
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Well, as I've sort of mentioned in a couple of posts, my husband hasn't been doing well and we weren't sure where this was going. We know now.
He's been having problems with his transplanted kidney from day 1. Please don't get us wrong we are so greatful for the year of him not having to do dialysis and even with the problems, it was worth it. Two weeks ago I had to rush him by ambulance to the emergency room because of severe abdominal pain, he couldn't stand or move. They finally figured out it had to do with the new kidney but weren't in a hurry to do anything unless it became worst because of it being major surgery. He's been refusing to go back to the emergency room and has been in severe pain ever since. Did I ever mention just how stubborn he can be?
Today in dialysis, his doctor saw him and realised how much pain he's in so that when the doctor touched his abdomen, he just about went through the roof. They are admitting him tomorrow morning for emergency surgery to remove the transplanted surgery. They are saying it needs to come out now. I am worried sick but am really trying to keep positive. Please send happy thoughts our way and I'll update tomorrow night after I get home from the hospital.
I do hope the surgery goes well. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you.
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I'm so sorry to hear that. Good luck tomorrow. :grouphug;
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I'm so sorry your hubby is in such pain and you're both going through such difficult times. My prayers and thoughts are with you both. :grouphug;
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My thoughts and prayers are with both of you, Kitty Cat. Let us know how everything goes, and I'm so sorry you both have to go through this. :grouphug;
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Oh my, that sounds awful. Dialysis is bad enough without having to deal with transplant failure and PAIN!! I am so sorry that happened and I hope everything goes well. :grouphug;
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Dear Kitty,
I am sorry to hear this, please let us know how he's doing.
Take care,
Karol
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Hi Everyone,
Thank you so much for the support, I read here before we left this morning and it lifted my spirits. Last night nobody slept because we were just too nervous.
The surgery went so very well, the kidney has been removed, after a couple of hours in recovery, he's been moved to a room in the transplant/dialysis ward and I can't even tell you how much better he looks. He's definitely in pain but it's not the pasty, hard to breathe type pain he's been in for months. He hasn't willingly eaten anything in months, only forcing it down to sustain himself because everything made him either nauseous or very ill. He even asked for something to eat before we left tonight!!!! I'm really hoping this is going to be his turning point and he'll start to rebound.
The surgeon (she is the absolute best, she even changed her schedule to perform this surgery) is going to have the kidney biopsied to find out what has been causing all the problems. I'm very interested to know what this has all been about. The other surgery is pushed down until he's up and moving about pain free and I can certainly live with that.
Thank you all so much for the thoughts, Prayers and just being here. It really and truly makes all the difference in the world.
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I am so happy that all went well for his surgery. Hope that takes care of his extreme pain and they find out the cause. Best wishes to you both as he has a speedy recovery!
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I am so thankful for how it has gone so far. Please transmit our caring thoughts. I wish him a speedy and complete recovery. My Dad always thought that if a person can eat, they aren't too bad!! Lots of love go out to you two! :grouphug;
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Good news Kitty Cat,
Hope the healing process is short and Angels watch over your family. :angel;
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Thank you all so much, I really hope you all know how much this means to us. We can't thank you enough for the support and caring.
He's been running a fever since last night, last night was 104 and today has been averaging around 102. They have been giving him tylenol and packed some ice under his armpits to see if that would help. They then did a chest xray to see if there somehow may be pneumonia. I am really impressed that he again asked for something to eat. Plus, with help he was able to sit up in a chair for the afternoon and took a tiny walk in the hallway.
They've started the pathology on the kidney, they told him it was in bad shape, but now they need to find out if it was because of the kidney itself or his body somehow did that to it.
I will definitely keep the updates coming, and honestly, you've all been so wonderful to us. Thank you so very much.
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I hope the hubby feels better soon. Recovery is a long process. Give him my best wishes! Remember to take care of you!
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Thanks for the update and glad he's better! :cuddle;
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Kitty Cat - sending warm and healing prayers to your husband, and peace to both of you! :grouphug;
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I'm sorry to hear you're still having problems, but glad the surgery went well and that your hubby has an appetite! I'm still thinking of you and praying for your situation to improve. :grouphug;
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Good news. :2thumbsup;
Hubby came home Tuesday night, he's doing so much better and looks better than I've seen in way too long. I am so relieved. The other surgery is pushed off for a few weeks until his strength improves. VNA came over on Wednesday and showed me how to keep the site cleaned up and bandaged. There are 43 staples and the incision is 24 cm long.
Thank you for all of your Prayers and kind words, they've meant everything to us. Everybody here is just absolutely wonderful.
Thank you
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And thank you for allowing us to go through this with you. We are very happy and continue to send warm thoughts your way as he continues to heal and do well.
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Glad to hear things are improving!! Good Luck!! :thumbup; :)
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OUTSTANDING !! I hope things continue to improve,
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How is everything progressing for hubby at this time? Hope things are continuing to look up for him and you~ :grouphug;
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I'm still curious about the outcome of the biopsy done on the kidney?? Was it the kidney or him?
And I'm glad everything is getting better for y'all too!!! :cuddle;
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Plenty of news tonight...not good. I'm sorry...
The biopsy showed that it was the kidney and it caused him to reject. There hasn't been a whole lot of time to concentrate on that because he is back in the hospital. On Tuesday morning after I left for work, I text messaged him because I knew he wasn't feeling so great but he promised me he was okay. Something happened, our daughter and I think he fell because of the injuries but he apparantly blacked out and hit his head. He came to, called the ambulance then me at work. Unfortunately he doesn't remember a thing. By the time we got to the E.R. he was very easily agitated with absolutely everything becoming a major issue such as he was so very upset with me for leaving work, things along that line. His stuttering was worst than I'd ever seen it and he couldn't remember things for more than 3-4 minutes. I kept telling them that this wasn't his personality and I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't stop crying which agitated him even more. I kept walking away so he couldn't see I was crying and how terrified I was (am).
He damaged his spine between the 6th and 7th vertebrae. He is going to have to have surgery because if he doesn't, he'll end up paralyzed and if he has it he can still end up paralyzed. No Guarantees. The doctors said that what happened was actually a good thing because his neck is so unstable that we could have been driving down the road, hit a bump and he would have been paralyzed. They have him in a neck brace now.
I don't know what to do, we're in a holding pattern with the hospital. We don't know how quickly they're going to get to the surgery. I'm trying like crazy to be positive, for him I can be. Here by myself at home, I can't sleep (melatonin has become my best friend) everything keeps spinning through my mind. And not having answers is even worst. Hopefully tomorrow there will be some more answers.
What bothers me is that he's such a great guy, everybody loves him, he'd give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it. He keeps being slammed with one thing after another and all I want to do is to make whatever is hurting him hurt back. Sounds ridiculous and I am a very nonviolent person. I am so tired and heartbroken from watching him suffer so much. I can't protect him and I can't stop it. All I can do is try to support him and be there. That doesn't even feel adequate. I'm at a total loss.
I'm sorry this is so down, I'm not usually like this but I haven't been this lost in such a long time. I'll keep you posted, I'm praying for better news or just a tiny sliver of sunshine, something we can hang onto.
Thank all of you for your prayers and good wishes, I wish I had better for you, but we'll take it one day at a time and look for the sliver of sunshine.
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I don't really know what to say, except I'm sorry things are going so badly for you two. And I really hope things get better. You can only go up from rock bottom, right? :cuddle;
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:grouphug;
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Kitty Cat the sliver of sunshine is he wasn't killed. Sounds like he could have been. The other sliver of "sunshine" is YOU. You need to get some sleep because you need to be well right now. One day at a time and God will help you through the storm. I'm sure your husband has lots of worries as well being the man of the house, but just keep him calm. His job right now is to heal.
:cuddle;
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Prayers for you and your husband are in abundance right now as everyone is praying for his quick recovery. Please take Reruns advice and try as best you can to get sleep and be strong. He needs you more than ever right now.
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Keeping you in my prayers :grouphug;
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you know -I know exactly how you feel-my husband was very injured this past year-then became a dialysis patient-sometimes the frustration level with wanting/trying to help/be there is overwhelming.He spent most of 2006 in the hospital,and as the caregiver and mom,you get stretched pretty thin....just remember to breathe,tears are okay too---plus you can always post here we are a very compassionate bunch. It has felt like our lives can't possibly suck any worse,then something will happen and my husband gets sick again, makes you want to bang your head on the wall. :banghead; Hang in there. :wine; have a little wine.
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:grouphug;
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Kitty Cat, I am so sorry. You are both in my prayers, I hope you can get some rest and that you both are doing better. We're thinking of you! :grouphug;
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Thank you so very much, I just need to rethink things. Today I'm a little better, still exhausted but thinking more positive. You are so right, he is alive and he does have his sense of humor still. We're trying to stay positive and have found that surgery is Monday.
They are going to put a steel rod into his spine and secure it with a steel plate. There are a lot of "Ifs" but I"m going to start taking things slower and as they happen and I hope to remember that through the next few days especially.
Our Priest came in to see him today and it gave him a great sense of peace, I've been keeping him entertained with Aquarium Survivor. That is simply, I left for work yesterday to 5 little fish in the aquarium, I came home to 4. Now, I have no idea what happened to that fish, I have 2 young kitties who may have assisted that fish but they haven't really been near the aquarium. So I keep him entertained with different scenarios as to where the missing fish is. So we are still giggling about things.
I do apologize for being so negative, I know you all understand. Last night I couldn't find a positive thing in anything. Today I'm so thankful I can, plus reading the posts is a boost for being positive. I'll keep you posted, I may not be able to get back until Monday night/Tuesday sometime. I know surgery is 5 hours, but I'm still waiting for a time frame for it.
I have to tell you, without this site and your support, I have no idea where I'd be right now. They say everything happens for a reason and finding this site was a reason in itself.
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Kitty Cat. A sense of humor is all we have sometimes. It is good to laugh. Hope you get a restful weekend. There is nothing you can do right now anyway. Get a couple of DVD's and take them to the hospital. Sometimes they have a DVD player at the desk that feeds into the rooms.
Do not Get "Million Dollar Baby" !!
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Kitty Cat
I am sorry you and your husband are going through such a difficult time.
I hope things improve for you soon. I will keep you in prayer especially
Monday concerning the surgery and a quick recovery. May God grant you
His peace and strength.
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I wish I could hold your hand and be there. I know how difficult it is to have your hubby injured and in the hospital. You feel like you are walking through a foggy sock right now and every little thing sets you off. Take it one thing at a time. Do one thing at a time and let a lot of stuff go. You are strong and will make it.
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Yes, girl, it's one day at a time. Keep on remembering that you have a whole lot of people with caring thoughts and prayers for you two. All over the United States, in Britain, in Australia, and in the Caribbean. Now that is a lot of good will! Keep on the positive things and care yourself as well.
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Our thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband, and your entire family. Please don't ever apologize for having a bad time -- we all have them and that's what we're here for. :grouphug;
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My prayers are with you - I'm so sorry you're having to go through so much! :grouphug;
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I got to the hospital at 6:45 this morning, hadn't slept much last night and they kept assuring us that surgery would happen today. The doctor came in and confirmed that nothing had changed, it had just been moved down to this afternoon. Around 2pm they came in and told us it was cancelled. Now we wait until Wednesday morning 7:45 am and it is guaranteed to happen then. I have no idea what happened and why everything changed just like that. But we weren't happy campers and then once it really sank in, my husband said he is very happy it was moved. The poor guy is in so much pain, but at least the area where they took out the kidney is doing fantastic.
They've taken out the staples and it's healing beautifully. I am grateful for everything but I am so stressed out right now it's unbelievable. I"m going into work tomorrow, fortunately my work really takes my mind off of things and I can text message with him while I'm working so it won't be bad.
Now here's a chuckle..we really haven't had winter here in the northeast. We've been seriously spoiled by spring time temperatures and our flowers have started to come up. We knew it was only a matter of time until we were nipped by ole Jack Frost. We got more than nipped. It's been disgustingly cold. Yesterday in the parking garage at the hospital I have no idea how it happened but my car door froze while I was visiting him. The passenger side was fine but here I am debating about climbing through the car (by the way, did I mention it's a Ford Explorer???) and looking somewhat dignified about it. Well I finally got so cold I really didn't have a choice. I kind of threw myself across the seats into the stick shift and shoved the door open before anybody could see anything. It really was funny. I had him laughing about that last night. He's doing good, his spirits are up, it's a matter of let's get this going.
Thank you all for your responses and everything. I've been trying to get in and take quick peaks to keep up on what's going on, this place is my sanity. You all know how we're feeling and it really makes the difference.
I'm making a very quick dinner tonight and I'm following some of your suggestions. I've been curling up on the couch with my book and fleece blanket. That's been nice except for the kitties who think it's there for them and crawl all over me. (I love it when they do, don't doubt it for a second!)
Thank you so much again, I know I keep saying it but it really is heartfelt, I feel like I'm home when I"m here.
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Hi KittyCat-
Wow, last time I checked it was the kidney -- now I see he fell too! Sheeesh! Poor Guy and poor You! That sucks. Thank goodness he was able to call for help. Now with the surgery put off the waiting gets tough. My hubby had a fusion on his spine 3 years ago. It's a big surgery but should stabilize him. I am so sorry. I have been sleeping in the hospital or sleeping near Jenna, last night was the first time I slept over 5 hours and it did help. Tylenol PM has become my friend! I feel for you sweetie, take care and hang in there, one day at a time!
Thank you for thinking of us with all you have to worry about!
All the best,
Karol :cuddle;
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Glad everything is getting at least a little better!! I sitll wish more good luck with everything!!! :cuddle;
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Wow, Kitty Cat, you guys have been through a lot. Glad to hear things are looking up. Don't forget to take care of you, my prayers are still with both of you!
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Well, I should have listened to you all a lot better than I did. I have run myself down and as of 4 am today, I have a stomach flu and could not go to the hospital to be with my hubby during his surgery. Sometimes I think somebody should knock me cold with a cast iron frying pan or something.
Anyway, the surgery went well, they are not going to put in the stainless steel rod or plate because it turns out that this happened a couple of years ago when he fell in 2005 and we can't prove it, but that's the only other time he fell. He did actually crack the spine at that time and the surgeon said it healed, not properly but it healed. So they're no longer calling it unstable. He cleaned up the disks and said there was no problem with any kind of movement where the crack was. After being told that he could end up paralyzed, I'm calling him my miracle honey. He has a very tired guardian angel. He has to! They said the only way to properly fix it is to break the spine where it healed wrong and re-do the whole area with the rod and plate. The surgeon said he does not recommend it because hubby isn't well enough to handle an operation like that. He also said that he expects healing to go a little slower than normal because of the hemo (has anybody else ever heard that?) and they have moved him off of the floor he was on where they wouldn't give him his meds and started ignoring his call button. The guy never complains about anything but the floor wasn't giving him his binders unless they actually thought about it and decided that giving him an injection of benadryl was easier than the binders. He scratched himself the other night and drew blood. The nurse came in yelling and he finally yelled back. So after that they were good about the meds but it shouldn't have come to that. Once he's home and settled, I'm going to write to patient relations and complain. Nobody should ever have to go through that.
So we're looking onward and upward but the final outcome is still going to be that he will end up wheelchair bound permanently. This is okay, he's not happy about it but if it means he's still here, I'll take it. I just have to find some organization that will help us change things in the house because this house isn't really wheelchair accessible.
I am heading off back to bed, I can't remember the last time I slept this much but now I'm relaxed because I know everything is good. I can't wait until I can get up there and see him.
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I don't understand. I thought it already healed in 2005 and he is no longer unstable. Why will he be in a wheelchair?
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He has so much arthritis in his spine that it's actually fusing together. The surgeon tried to clean it up a bit when he was in there yesterday but he did confirm that the end result will still be my hubby in a wheelchair. Plus unfortunately the trauma team didn't find the break in 2005 so he can't look up, he can only look ahead, (because of the way it healed) there isn't any movement in his neck to be able to look up. He was doing physical therapy in the pool which helped him with pain management and gave him a little bit of motion but the insurance company knows best and said that they felt he wasn't getting any beneficial help there. His spine doctor argued with them, but the insurance company has the last word, as always.
Plus he has neuropathy in his legs from the kidney disease and can't feel his legs at all from right above his knees down to his feet. It's a problem if he steps on something because he can feel slight pressure telling him he's stepping on something, but a great example was the night he stepped on a thumb tack, his foot was bleeding and he had no idea.
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Well he sure is lucky to have you. :cuddle;
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Well he sure is lucky to have you. :cuddle;
Yep, believe me we are all Grateful for our Towers Of Strength. :cuddle;
Kitty Cat, doesnt sound strong enough for you, Should Be Tiger Woman!
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Thanks for the compliments, I don't feel like a Tiger Woman, I'm just trying to keep things moving in an upward motion. Since I've gotten sick, I've been very weepy and still feel like I've disappointed my husband by not being able to be there. He says no, he's been sleeping alot and I've been doing the same. I miss him terribly and want to see for myself that he's okay.
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Dear KittyKat,
Just thinking about you and your hubby and
praying he's doing better. And I hope you are
okay too!
Please let us know when you can.
Karol
:cuddle;
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Thanks for the compliments, I don't feel like a Tiger Woman, I'm just trying to keep things moving in an upward motion. Since I've gotten sick, I've been very weepy and still feel like I've disappointed my husband by not being able to be there. He says no, he's been sleeping alot and I've been doing the same. I miss him terribly and want to see for myself that he's okay.
You can do it cause you are woman.
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You know, you and I have much in common. My hubby has put me through hell too this last year. He had a work injury and we are still in recovery process. I thank God he is alive. I am the one with the kidney problems so now we lean on each other as we go through things. God help us!
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Hi Everyone,
It seems like just yesterday when everything was happening. Things got really rough for awhile, we came so close to losing my darling hubby in March, bad combination of meds after the last surgery almost killed him. When I walked out of the hospital that day I had no idea if I'd ever see him again. Thankfully and gratefully, he pulled through and is really doing so much better. He still gets weak but is now in a new dialysis center that his doctor has opened, the care is so much better and he feels so much better afterward. He's not coming home sick to his stomach and completely wiped out. Plus after the spinal surgery, he is walking, still hunched over but contrary to what the doctor told us, he is walking. I should know by now to have faith and not necessarily trust what has been said by the doctors. This is a situation where they just didn't know. I am so grateful I can't even express it.
I've thought about all of you often, thanking you in my heart for all the care and heartfelt words, when things were darkest, this board is one of the few things that got me through. I am sorry that I hadn't posted, I started to feel like I was bothering everybody and didn't want to make anybody else as miserable as I was....my own fault.
The good news is that we are now preparing for our daughter's marriage next month and God willing, my husband will be walking his little girl down the aisle. I am so very excited, I cherish every single little moment that I have with him. I have no decision over how long he will be with me but I am going to cling to every second and no longer get angry about the silly little things that at one time would have driven me off the edge. The priorities are in the right place, finally. Even though we had learned to appreciate the little things and have a better appreciation of each other had we not gone through any of this, we still had missed some things while getting tied up with the business of just living. Now we stop, listen, give extra hugs and kisses. Simple things. I just wish everybody could have that.
Thank you all, I will be around more, I have missed you all very much. You have become my extended family and as I said, without you I have no idea where I would have been during my darker hours.
KittyKat
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Thanks for the update. Please never feel like you are laying too much on us, we are a tough bunch. :lol; I'm very glad your husband pulled through as well as he has and I pray for continued improvement. What a blessing for him to be able to walk is daughter down the aisle.
Don't be a stranger, k?
Sluff
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It is always nice to read good news. So glad things are better. The wedding will be a very emotional, wonderful time for you family. I think this disease makes us all realize that we have to live more "in the moment" and truly appreciate where we are. Post when you can. We would love to see wedding pictures!!
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We have large shoulders for the troubles that come everyone's way here at IHD. I know what you mean, if it wasn't for this place I would have really lost my mind this past year.
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Thank you Kitty Cat - a good reminder to savor every moment with those we love! :cuddle;