I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: texasstyle on February 16, 2011, 11:24:35 AM
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Just wanted to let all givers know today in case you were feeling down in the dumps or a little unappreciated, that you are important far beyond you know! At the least, take time to sit for a hot tea, a sandwhich lunch, or just for a break and a deep breath. When things seem too crazy..laugh! Crack yourself up! It's Ok because no one is looking. Well, even if they are who cares right? **HUGS** to you all from me. We need to stick together! (I'm not sure if that's how they call it- 'sandwhich lunch", but I was trying to sound British! lol)
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I second texas! :2thumbsup;
I have people who live with me and love me, but no caregivers - no one who goes with me to appointments or knows anything about what meds I take or dietary restrictions or how to set up my machine.... blah blah blah - not meaning to make this my pity party, just want to applaude you caregivers out there! You matter!
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Sandwich lunch?!!
Golly gosh Miss Style, that tickled my funny bone! Bless you! (It's just 'lunch' my love!)
And now I'm curious ... when you said 'hot tea' did you mean a cup of tea (and is it true that American folk leave the teabag in the cup and forget to add milk?) or did you mean a hot meal at tea-time?
;D
*huggles* right back at ya! :-*
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Poppy, you said "Golly" and that just reminded me of a time about 5 years ago that I was at a local restruant and there wasl all this "hub-bub" going on. I wasn't sure what it was at first until I looked over and saw "Good Golly Miss Molly" himself sitting next to me! He was eating chicken and dumplings lol. Just about everyone in the place came up to him and his table of "people". I didn't bother him and when he was leaving he came over and talked to us on his way out.He even touched my shoulder..haaa.. I found out later that he & Chuck Berry were playing at a veune not to far from us and he was staying in the hotel across the street from the restruant. Heck, a guy's gotta eat right? lol. He was very spiffy looking but not too over the top. Dressed just enough to get your attention which I'm sure he just loves lol.
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awww Wish.. you need someone to pamper you too sometimes. Maybe everyone thinks your self sufficent and you don't need any help. Maybe they don't realize the reality of renal disease. Anyway, you take time to take to do something special for yourself also. You deserve it! Pop: We usually brew the bag in the hot water cup for a couple minutes. Some leave in but I think most take it out. Some like milk, some like lemon. I'm a lemon kinda girl. We also have all kinds of flavored teas that are popular. Everything from Peppermint to Dragon Fruit and Melon. You name it. I was sick last week and drank lots of regular tea with honey to soothe my throat. I don't know if the honey actually works but if I think it did, well then it did lol.
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I'm not a caregiver but I want some of this hugging action... can I claim I am a caregiver for my cat? :rofl;
:shy;
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Yes you can! You can claim caregiver to your granny too lol. You gets tons of hugs Richard from here you know. Everyday, for all the kindness & information you give daily. And for your great sense of humor too. So today just for you is a hug AND a kiss. On the cheek of course lol. *wink
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ooooh!
:shy; :shy; :shy; :shy;
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Criiiiikey.
;)
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RM, you know it is the cat who takes care of you! It does't matter though, a man who so loves his cat is deserving of lots of hugs!
:grouphug;
"Hot tea" is actually a southernism. I am a tea drinker originally from the northeastern US. When I first moved south I asked for tea at a restaurant. I got iced tea. Up north it is tea or iced tea. Here in the south it is hot tea or tea. I drink my tea (hot) with lots of milk in it and I never remove the teabag. Cheers!
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Well, as a caregiver, I can certainly qualify for some of the hugs going on in this thread...so, I'll send one out to all of you :grouphug; and I'll claim one for me. Today was a little tough (neph appt for hubby...potassium very low, phosphorus really high and he came home to eat chocolate and mixed nuts) and platelets have fallen again. So, the hugs are helpful!
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:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Hey looney, why do our men do that? Ya know, dumb things? "Labs all messed up so I think I'm gonna mess 'em up even more. Chocolate...yummy " lol Some, no most, time I cringe when I watch him eat like that like there's not a care in the world. The whole "too school for school" attitude. Isn't that unusual for the K to be on the LOW end as a D patient? What's going on with the platelets? Do they give him something during D for that? I can surely see you need some hugs!
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TS, I wish I knew the answer to that....not that I could change it or anything, it just would be nice to understand the thinking behind it. Not sure why his potassium is low other than he must be taking more off with the NxStage than he is taking in. I recommended he drink some V-8 daily for a while to boost it back up. As far as the platelets, the doc has ordered a test to see if the heparin used during his treatment has caused him to make antibodies to it and if that is not the problem, then he will send us to a hemologist to try to find out what is causing his body to not make adequate amounts of platelets. I can tell you that he is bleeding profusely and his skin is breaking down to the point that he will have several spots a day that bleed for hours.
Thanks for the hugs...I really like them! :grouphug;
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Lonney, is everything ok with his liver?
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looneytunes, I need a lot of hugs to day, I feel so stressed.
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*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*. Hope you can feel them!
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Hey looney, why do our men do that? Ya know, dumb things? "Labs all messed up so I think I'm gonna mess 'em up even more. Chocolate...yummy "
:rofl;
Mike used to do the exact same thing. I think it's just a case of, it's not fair, i wanna do exactly what i want. Which is probably what i'd do too.. :2thumbsup;
Sanity. I vote for it.
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Yeah Lady, I "might" too but the fact that your diet will play an important role in how you feel makes a difference. At least to me. I would like to fell good. Then, the lamighty fact that if you DON'T do what you're supposed to you can die. Me, I like living but I don't know how i would be mentally with dialysis if I were on it.
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Me too me too :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; Being off on a mini vacation for my 60th :o i missed this but surely want in on it still ... Sounds like others are needing those hugs more than me right now so i wish to send them out to all of our lovely 'givers' and wish all the best. I think this was a lovely thing to do ts, and im so glad for all the shared hugs......... TO ALL!! :clap; BLESS US ALL :grouphug; And bring some special peace and rest.
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TX...don't know yet on the liver issue....guess they'll check that out while they are investigating the low platelet issue.
BB...Huge Cyberhugs coming across the big pond to you. I know things are stressful for you and I am SO hoping they get better quickly for you. Have a hug from me and a glass of vino and try to close your eyes and envision our beach and fields to hike on.
Boswife...Happy Birthday! :birthday; And of course, hugs are for you too! :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Think this should spin off into the hug and cuddle thread !! :rofl;
re the eating bad stuff despite labs... yeah it doesn't make sense to me BUT then again sometimes it would take a hell of a lot of willpower on my part to say "NO! I shouldn't have that yummy thing I crave because it is bad for me!" - most of the time my willpower would win out, but sometimes I'd cave. However if I did treat myself I'd be extra careful to try and balance it out during the day, so if I had something high-K, I'd make sure to go low the next meal, and hopefully balance out that way.
I guess the answer lies in that some personality types are the sort to want to rebel against orders just because... even when the obvious and clear thing to do is not.... I mean look at your average teenager!!
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:cuddle; :grouphug; to all the caregivers!!! Guess I am one too, but I consider myself more of a partner. Hubby does a wonderful job of looking after himself!!! I feel so bad for carers when I read about the way the person they are caring for are not helping to care for themselves.
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The feeling good part, i dunno about. Does your hubby ever feel good? Mike never felt good before he started dialysis, or while on it either. :waiting;
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No Mike doesn't ever feel good in my opinon. This morning at 5:30 am I awoke to the sound of barfing in the little bathroom next to us. To him it's just "normal" and actually, that's how our life has become. Does your husband sleep at night? Mine doesn't. Up all night in the living room, tv on like it's day etc.. I'm like WTHeck... He's a little better since he started 3x a week. (was told too for a year only doing 2) but then something else comes up. Now he feel out of bed into the end table. He has a humgo 10x10 purple bruise on his side/ back so we've been in all week. Just another case of "something else". It gets tiring. He started dialysis when he was 55? ish (just tiuned 60) but he seems like he's in his 80's. Looks wise too. It's so draining watching someone who is always kinda dragging.I rememeber when he was supposed to do 3x a week and wouldn't he'd vomit all the time all over al the time. We couldn't even be in the car without him pulling over. I kept saying "you're not getting enough dialysis. You need 3x a week." I think it went through his ears. I know people who do well. They eatright and take care od themselves. they are still physcially active (though have made adjustments). Mike is now a "couch potatoe" lol. My life, I get used to toit then from time to time I get very sad and hurt because reality hits me and I know it's not normal. But's it's OUR normal. I'm ok with a different normal but at times this is too much. I'm assuming yo have your "stuff" goin on too. Richard ML: yeah, but you can have a little chocolate or a giant 3 lb. block of it. Choice is up to you. that's the difference. hey, I got out again! That karoke thing lol. It's right across the street so how can I miss out. Del you are fortunate hubby looks after hiself. My husband probably like others may not take care of themselves but mine DOES thank me and tells me he's appreciates me. Hold on Richard, yours are comg!Q
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Ricard: *hugs* *hugs* hugs* hugsd* hugs* hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs hugs*
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TS ty for all those hugs.. very nice :)
re Mike and barfing etc... it wouldn't surprise me one iota if a good part of that is caused by his wayward eating - ie: potassium is high so eat more chocolate and nuts etc - I mean if you're piling on the crap that you're not taking out enough of is it any wonder your body wants to find other ways to expel it? At the very least, as we all know too well, he's NOT doing himself any favours......
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I often ask what it looks like (I know..gross! lol), but I heard that if it is food substance than it is probably from food intake & if it is foamy then it means the person has a lot of fluid build up. Have you heard or know about that? Since 3x a week the vomiting has subsided quite a lot. Before then was when it was everyday. It was a normal part of dialy life and I know it shouldn't have been that bad.
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To him it's just "normal" and actually, that's how our life has become.
I know you're actually talking about your hubby throwing up here, but that aside, isn't it ridiculous that we start to view all the things that happen as 'normal'? I forget sometimes that some people don't live with my 'normal' and I become surprised when they give me funny looks because they just can't comprehend what I'm wittering on about!
*huggles* for everyone (because you can never have enough ...)
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Yes it is! lol but there is a difference between someone has has REAL issues & tries and does their best. Such as a person in a wheel chair and will never be able to get out. Yet they are optimistic, take care of themselves, and "accept" the situation so they can make the best of it. Now let's compare that to a poor me attitude, non-compliance, going against doctor's orders, I'll do what ever I want and when the crisis finally comes well then, gee it's just on you.
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Mikes never slept well at night. There are nights when he desn't sleep at all. It's really quite normal for him though, since he was a child [and they assume his kidney failure started wen he was 3 or 4]
Now that he's had his TX, everything has changed, except his sleeping!
Ps. We both have a Mike tex :P
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oopss.... I cut off too early! Anyway, sometimes our not normal is frustrating because we feel so alone with and like we're not getting any help from our partners at times. At least in my case. Life itself is not normal and I know you know that. Urrgghh.. I get so frazzled with all this i don't even know how to put into words! Let's face it, no one gets it except us involved and they never will. I'm glad we've all got each other. Oh yeah, it's really starting to get on my nerves when people always ask about HIM over and over. Hey! Look, I'm here too. And when they say "Oh, he looks so good" and I just say to myself "lady, if you only knew'. Ok, how'd I just end up getting myself so angry? lol. Time out-I need to hug MYSELF!
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Oh dear, 3 or 4 seems so young. I can't imagine. At Mike's D unit the nurses said that probably the way he would start sleeping again at night is if he got a transplant. I wonder what is exactly is that interefers with the sleeping. A horomone or something. Does anyone know he answer to this? Lady Noir and I really need to know! lol (and others). My home has no real sense of day or night anymore. It's getting crazy. It's all involved in that "normal" thing. The ady/night deal at our home is waaaaaayyyy NOT normal though lol.
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all I can say is that I used to sleep pretty well on D. I sleep better post tx, but even when on dialysis I could sleep 8 hours a night without problem. My body usually wanted more of course. So I guess that is one aspect of "the experience" I was spared. Maybe because my name isn't Mike????? :rofl;
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Haaaaa Richard! Tell that to Joe, Bob & Pete! LOL
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Well, hubby's name isn't Mike either and his sleep patterns have been wacko for years.
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Looney, poor sleep patteren? I'm sure if you investiagte you fins a MIke some where in his lineage lol. Lady Noir and I both agree lol. Hope you having a good weekend!
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Oh yeah, it's really starting to get on my nerves when people always ask about HIM over and over. Hey! Look, I'm here too.
It's irksome isn't it? I do know a couple of people who actually go out of their way now to ask how *I* am rather than Blokey, but I think they just do that for show!
My Blokey isn't a Mike, but his sleep patterns seem to go in phases. For eons he can sleep exceptionally well and then suddenly he'll suffer with many nights of ridiculously poor and interrupted sleep. Then, for no apparent reason, he'll start sleeping well again.
*sigh*
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Let's see, a half good half poor sleeper. Mike just the middle name is Mike lol. And if it's not that there is in "M" in his name somewhere.