I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Humor, Pictures, Stories and Poems => Topic started by: kitkatz on September 15, 2009, 10:32:02 PM
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I borrowed this from Okarol in an earlier thread....
Going before a firing squad
Getting kicked in the nuts 3 times a week
Being chased by blood sucking beasts through the gates of hell
Losing your entire family to the plague
Getting swallowed by a whale
Now add your own...
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Running a cheese grater over your elbow.
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slamming your finger in a drawer...... so that the nail later falls off
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shark bite
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2 sharks circling you.
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Dialysis is not as bad as....
NOT doing dialysis. 8)
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Losing your legs to diabetes.
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Dialysis is not as bad as....
NOT doing dialysis. 8)
You can say that again (and again, and again)!!!
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aging....
and then again there is aging while on dialysis so...
But then again, dialysis is simply a major nuisance.
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Dial-ysis Vs Dial-up (J/K)
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Dialysis is lots of fun. But it is not nearly as much fun as having a root canal or a colonoscopy.
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Dialysis is not as bad as ...
the months before you knew what was happening,
the crappy feeling,
zero energy,
shortness of breath.
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... a poke in the eye with a sharp stick! :o
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Dialysis is not as bad as having your toe nails pulled out.
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Dialysis is not as bad as a radical nephrectomy
Dialysis is not as bad as kidney cancer
Dialysis is not as bad as the alternative...
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2 bone marrow test
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... a poke in the eye with a sharp stick! :o
:rofl;
Thats what I was going to say!!
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Go ahead and poke me in the eye. Just get it over with!
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...as other types of organ failure that have no life sustaining technologies.
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Go ahead and poke me in the eye. Just get it over with!
I am with you.... just poke me in the eye.... at least its only once?
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...as other types of organ failure that have no life sustaining technologies.
such a good thing to remember!
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not having the option to recieve dialysis.
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as we imagine it will be, before we start dialysis.
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I've been poked in the eye - with a very large needle.
I was 7 years old. Imagine the doc telling you to "sit very very still and try not to blink" as this bloody big needle comes closer and closer and closer and.....
yep, dialysis is better than that!
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I don't yet know how bad dialysis will be but I'm sure it won't be as bad as haveing a TV camera stuffed up my jacksie. :sir ken;
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Did you smile for the camera? Or was it more of an action shot?
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Smile for the camers? They do everything to wipe the smile off your face.
First there's the Flush. Flush, note, not drain. It's a real plumbing job. If you've ever had a boiler replaced, that's what the plumber does to your pipes.
In the hospital, since you're not a contortionist, you can't see what's going on. You can feel it though. You know those big red double deck busses they have in London? It feels like they are stuffing one of those up. I can assure you, you don't smile when one of those is being rammed up your ass. You cough. Or worse.
:o
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In the hospital, since you're not a contortionist, you can't see what's going on. You can feel it though. You know those big red double deck busses they have in London? It feels like they are stuffing one of those up. I can assure you, you don't smile when one of those is being rammed up your ass. You cough. Or worse.
No sedatives?
Here in the States they usually give some sort of sedative so you don't feel a thing.
And sometimes it even knocks you out, so you wake up in the recovery lounge not remembering the procedure at all.
8)
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Oh, Stoday! Not fun! We definitely get twilight stuff. Don't remember a thing!
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Yeah I was given sedative, but I think it didn't work very well.
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Evidently not Stoday!!!! Come to the states next time you have to have one of those ugly tests!!!
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Dialysis is not as bad as being turned down for a date because you're on Dialysis.
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Choking.
Drowning.
Getting a tatoo.
Getting dumped.
The pain of Childbirth? Not that I would know about this one!
Some of the replies on this post made me laugh this morning...that's a very good thing ;D
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I don't yet know how bad dialysis will be but I'm sure it won't be as bad as haveing a TV camera stuffed up my jacksie. :sir ken;
I hope it wasn't the same one they put down my throat!! :puke;
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Well, as I always say it beats the alternative. :)
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What is that "twilight stuff"? I like it. Can you buy it at Kroger or Safeway?
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Dan, if you could we would be standing in line..................................
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dialysis is not as bad as setting your hair on fire.
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Forplay with a crocodile.
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Being chsed by a grizzly bear!
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having a monkey eat your face off.
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loosing your child.....
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loosing your child.....
A resounding YES to that one.
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My fam and I were watching some tv show, and I said being a parent must really be the hardest thing ever, then my 8yr old cousin said. No loosing a child. out of the mouths of babes
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Being served as a snack by the Visitors.
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Trying to talk to an ER triage nurse.... those women scare the hell out of me, they are by far the nastiest things ever put on this earth
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Not as bad as dealing with a fatal car crash.
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Not as bad as dealing with a fatal car crash.
ew, my nephew and brother in law are both rural fire brigade (one volunteer and one paid+volunteer) and they deal with all of the bad crashes outside sydney metro area. They wont really discuss it, but they said they know the smell the moment they arrive on scene.
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Not as bad as dealing with a fatal car crash.
ew, my nephew and brother in law are both rural fire brigade (one volunteer and one paid+volunteer) and they deal with all of the bad crashes outside sydney metro area. They wont really discuss it, but they said they know the smell the moment they arrive on scene.
Can't blame them, and they are right. Somethings have a destinctive smell.
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seeing your newborn daugher in the neonatal unit with IV's in her shaven little head ---
not being able to hold her until she was 3 months old
ps -
she is 21 now and has one lung but normal in every other way
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having a really really sick child.
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Dialysis isn't as bad as falling head over heels for a lover,
and having her dump you after a couple of months.
Dialysis isn't as bad as basic training at Fort Polk, U.S. Army,
back in the summer of 1974.
Dialysis isn't as bad as a wipeout in big North shore surf.
Dialysis isn't as bad as three days without dialysis.
Dialysis isn't as bad as watching your father die from
a brain tumor.
Dialysis isn't as bad as flunking a class.
Dialysis isn't as bad as realizing your boss lied to you about a raise.
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....... not having friends or family who are supportive and sympathetic as you are having to do it ......
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...catching a skunk with your bare hands. :rofl;
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Or as bad as this!!!!
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dialysis isn't as bad as having your face pressed down onto a hot stove.
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a pap test.... just sayin'
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A colonoscopy, Just sayin :thumbup;
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Dialysis is not as bad as....
...a nice swim in a lake of hot lava.
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hypothyroidism... holy crap.. I feel like my battery is running low and I need to be plugged in, but I can't find the f-n cord
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hypothyroidism... holy crap.. I feel like my battery is running low and I need to be plugged in, but I can't find the f-n cord
Riki, get your meds straightened out and you should get your energy back. At least I did.
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hypothyroidism... holy crap.. I feel like my battery is running low and I need to be plugged in, but I can't find the f-n cord
Riki, get your meds straightened out and you should get your energy back. At least I did.
I was only just diagnosed last week, so only just started taking the meds. I'm told that it'll be a couple of weeks before they start to work
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Good luck Riki, hope you feel better soon.
Iwannabean
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having kidney stones. Ouch!
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having kidney stones. Ouch!
Ooh.. nasty
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Nothing ( I dont think) is worse than having sciatica and diarrhea at the same time.
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Eeeew, all of a sudden I am feeling very healthy. :2thumbsup;
Iwannabean
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Nothing ( I dont think) is worse than having sciatica and diarrhea at the same time.
OMG.... that is.... I have no words to describe that.. except maybe painful and messy
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Never take a box of ex-lax and a sleeping pill......ever :rofl;
Iwannabean
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hypothyroidism... holy crap.. I feel like my battery is running low and I need to be plugged in, but I can't find the f-n cord
Riki, get your meds straightened out and you should get your energy back. At least I did.
I was only just diagnosed last week, so only just started taking the meds. I'm told that it'll be a couple of weeks before they start to work
You get your energy back yet, Riki?
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as we imagine it will be, before we start dialysis.
Isn't that the truth?!
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Dialysis isn't as bad as being hungover.
It is isn't as bad as having to work on your day off.
It isn't as bad as nails down a chalkboard (that kills me).
It isn't as bad as having to bathe your great-grandma.
It isn't as bad as cleaning the toilet-which you have to do a lot more of when you are on PD-so cancel that one.
It isn't as bad as menstrual cramps (sorry guys-but it's so true).
It isn't as bad a driving 5 hours.
It really isn't that bad after all, but I still hate it, because of what it represents.
Btw-don't ever combine dialysis with any of the above, especially multiple items at once. That's a recipe for a very bad time. >:D
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Frying bacon in the nude!
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hypothyroidism... holy crap.. I feel like my battery is running low and I need to be plugged in, but I can't find the f-n cord
Riki, get your meds straightened out and you should get your energy back. At least I did.
I was only just diagnosed last week, so only just started taking the meds. I'm told that it'll be a couple of weeks before they start to work
You get your energy back yet, Riki?
No, not yet.. though I have had a few sleepless nights, so the insomnia appears to be coming back. Perhaps that's a sign that it's beginning to work
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. . . . . . as hearing your doctor saying, "I don't know what's wrong."
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being held hostage...
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being held hostage...
We aren't?
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being held hostage...
We aren't?
yeah I was thinking that later after I typed it....how about....oh never mind it probably is to morbid to say!
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Spending the Holidays with an in-law that hates you!
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Living with dialysis isn't as bad as living in North Korea.
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getting a car wash and forgetting you did not put the windows up!
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ALS
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Dialysis is not as bad as being spit on by a alpaca!!
Trust me on this one...IT'S NASTY!!!!! :rofl;
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having Chuck Norris chase you throughout the night in the New York Zoo while he lets all the poisonous animals out of their cages and commends them to attack yo' ass.
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getting squirted in the face with your own blood..... wait, that is dialysis related....
and it was frickin hilarious....
Nevermind.. *LOL*
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getting squirted in the face with your own blood..... wait, that is dialysis related....
and it was frickin hilarious....
Nevermind.. *LOL*
I was reading The Twilight books when I had a blood related accident. It got all over the book and me! All I could do was laugh because I thought "What an appropriate book to be reading when this happened!" The problem was I was laughing to hard to tell my husband what was so funny! :rofl;
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It could always be worse....