I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Spouses and Caregivers => Topic started by: rose1999 on August 05, 2009, 12:40:04 AM
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Oh dear it feels as if life is all going wrong just now. Yesterday Dad was told that the 'pressure sore' on his heel is gangrenous and his lower leg will need to be amputated. We have been here before with the other leg and they managed a bypass, but that is not possible for this leg as the veins are too calcified. The pressure sores were caused because he has his line in this leg (thigh) and so has to keep it still for the 4 hours of dialysis pressing against the bed (well chair). The District Nurses have been coming for about 5 or 6 weeks to dress this but until Mum noticed the awful smell and called the GP nothing was said. One day I will be complaining but at the moment there is too much to worry about. At nearly 81 and now very frail with heart problems, an aneurysm, arteriosclerosis and high blood pressure it is going to be a lot for him to withstand an amputation.
Mum is making herself ill with worry, she is scared he won't survive, scared he will survive and she won't be able to manage him, scared she will become ill (she has very high blood pressure now) and won't be abel to look after them both..........well you can imagine how she feels, just plain scared.
He will have to go to a hospital that is a 2 hour drive away and there is only me to take Mum every day, he could be there for weeks and weeks. There is nothing nearer with the facilities to do the operation AND give dialysis.
To add to all of this Molly my fur baby (spaniel) is ill, she has insulinoma and has survived it for 2 years (she was given 10 to 12 weeks at diagnosis) but now the steroids are taking their toll and I'm waiting for blood test results to see if anything can be done.
Oh my friends, I'm scared and upset and I know no one can change things but please spare a moment to think of us and send positive thoughts, prayers etc our way for the strength to get through this.
Thank you. Rose xx
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:cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
Rose, I am so sorry. It sounds awful and overwhelming. Your dad has been through so much, and I don't blame your mom for being worried. I wish I could give you a hug.
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My thoughts are with you and your family Rose. What a terrible shock.. My thoughts are with you and your mum. :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
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...my father will be deep like a rose
...tall like a rose...
dear god:
please bless rose with the strength to carry on
bless her with the knowledge that we are surrounding her
with thoughts of love and encouragement to deal with the
tribulations that she must bear.... bless her dad and mum for
making the person she is today...
tall like a Rose...deep like a Rose....
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Just back up to one moment at a time and stomp out each fire. One bite of the elephant at a time and you will eat it. Hang in there.
:flower;
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:cuddle; Oh Rose, I'm so sorry!
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Oh Rose im sorry to read this.
Prayers to your father your mother and much respect and prayers to you for being there for them.
Please take time for yourself to try and relax and stay healthy yourself.
And wishing the VERY best to molly as well.
You have a full plate as do your parents.
:grouphug;
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I was so sad this morning to read your post, Rose. My thoughts are with you all right now.
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:grouphug; Rose, I am so sorry, all my thoughts and prayers are headed your way. :cuddle;
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Thank you all SO much for your kind words, good wishes and prayers which are all gratefully received.
The GP rang this lunchtime and Dad has an appointment with the vascular surgeon tomorrow afternoon, which is frightening in its speed as our NHS usually takes a while to get you a consultant's appointment, but good that we don't have too much time to 'what if'. By this time tomorrow we should be hearing what is to be done and when, and then we can start to get our heads around it. - Rerun you are right, I CAN eat that elephant!!
I hope yo all know how much your messages and PMs mean to me, I now feel I may have the strength to do this.
xxx
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Oh dear. Hang in there Rose. My thoughts are with all of you.
Sending love...
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:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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I am so sorry we are here for all of you. :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Oh Rosse i am so sorry to hear this... I am thinking of you and your family and hoping that you all find the Strength to think positive and I will pray for you.
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The x-ray on Molly (dog) this afternoon showed a bladder full of stones, she has to have an operation tomorrow but with her tumour and associated problems there are no guarantees. You may think she is only a dog, but since Barry (my husband) died 5 years ago she has been my friend and companion, always here and always pleased to see me. While she is under the knife I will be with Dad finding out his fate. Tomorrow will be a make or break day and I'm so pleased I have you all to 'listen' to me, or I may just crack under the pressure, thank you so much xxxxx
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Rose, I am so sorry to hear about both your father and Molly. We are here for you! :grouphug;
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:grouphug;
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Oh, my heart is heavy for you, Rose. I will have you, your dad, your mum, and your sweet Molly on the top of my prayer list tonight and tomorrow. We'll be waiting to hear the news from the doctor and the vet. Hang in there, Rose. Take care of yourself, too. Love you!
Petey and Marvin
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I am sitting here crying for you and with you. There is just too much to handle at one time. I will keep all of you in my prayers. We just need to get through one day, and then the next. I am sorry, Rose. Sending you love and good thoughts. :grouphug;
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Oh Rose - what a terrible time. Your family are so lucky to have you looking after them. Try to look after yourself too. Know we are all thinking of you and prayeing for you. Thinking of Molly too. Oh my gosh you have so much to deal with!
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I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart that you will find the strength to bear all this, Rose.
I wish we could be there to help you during this difficult time, but sending hugs, :grouphug; and support and thinking of you. I understand about Molly. And it just seems like so much for one person to have to deal with.
:cuddle;
Aleta
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:grouphug;
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Oh Rose, that is so sad. I have tears in my eyes just thinking of what you are going thru now and I am so sorry. I wish i could give you a big hug and let you ncry on my shoulder. Keep your chin up honey and we will all be praying for you.
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Again my friends thank you for caring. Sadly I had to have Molly put down this mornign, I found her in a state of collapse when I got up early to see how she was and I called the vet out. She went very quickly and peacefully, she had been a happy dog until 2 days ago so I have no regrets............but I will miss her, she was always happy to see me, always by my side. i hope things go OK wiht Dad later on and I will keep yo posted. You are my rock. :grouphug;
Richmel thanks for the PM and helping me smile through the tears, it means a lot. :cuddle;
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:'(
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:grouphug; Oh rose, I am so sorry to hear about your Molly. Keep those wonderful memories close to your heart. :'( :cuddle;
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I am really sorry to hear about Molly. We have had to do the same with some of our animals over the years and it is always a very sad time. At some point you will, hopefully, be ready for another dog. There are so many out there that need a loving home.
I hope there is some positive news on your dad soon. I continue to keep you and your dad and mom in my thoughts and prayers.
:grouphug;
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Rose, I'm so, so sorry about your Molly. It sounds like you were a good "mom" to her to the end; she was a lucky dog. Still, I know your heart is hurting terribly after losing her.
I'll be waiting to hear the news from your dad, and I'll be thinking about you all day long. Be strong, Rose! Be brave! People all around the world are sending positive thoughts and good vibes your way.
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Rose, I'm so sorry about Molly. I am keeping your dad in my thoughts and hoping to read good news from you soon.
Take care. :grouphug;
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Rose, I am so sorry to hear about your Molly. :grouphug;
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Rose I to am so sorry about Molly, that was the last thing you wanted while trying to cope with you Dad. I wished I lived nearer to you so I could help out. I do hope things get better for Dad and send love to your Mum. Yvonne
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:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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I'm so sorry Rose. I've been thinking and praying for you! :grouphug;
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I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know how my husband would handle the loss of his beloved dog, Missy. I really do feel your loss! You have enough to deal with these days. :cuddle;
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Oh Rose! I am so very sorry! :grouphug;
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So sad to hear about your losing Molly (btw that was my grandmother's name), never easy but likely all the harder for you since Molly helped you so much after your husband's death. Sending you love and hugs.
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Your caring thoughts are helping me get through this awful day, it has not improved, we saw the vascular surgeon and he has admitted Dad to hospital for a lower left leg amputation on Monday. We were surprised that he was admitted there and then but took the bed while it was available. Things will be hard for him and Mum when he gets home and there will be a lot of adjusting to do and a lot of things to sort to get the home ready (ramps etc) but we are trying to remain positive. He will be free of this unbearable pain and hopefully free of (or on less) morphine which has been clouding his mind lately with ever increasing doses.
Rerun, I told Mum about the elephant and we've both agreed 'one bite at a time' - I so love that simile.
Thank you all so much for your kindnesses. xxx
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Dear Rose, what an incredibly sad day for you. I am sorry about Molly. Our pets give us so much comfort and love. And your poor Dad, just one thing after another. This sounds so monumental, but with Rerun's advice, I know you and your Mom will take it bite by bite. You are loved by so many here and we worry about your sweet Dad. I hope you can feel our arms around you during the days ahead. Give you Dad a kiss from me. :cuddle;
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:grouphug; Keeping you and your family in my prayers Rose.
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Rose, there are not words to express how sad I feel for all you are going through. I can hardly imagine how difficult this day had been for you. Sending caring thoughts. :grouphug;
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:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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I am sending hugs and love all the way from South Africa.....
I hope things look better soon.
Thinking of you.
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It's friday morning and I sit at my laptop with tears pouring down my face because it's so hard waking to find Molly gone, I miss her so. On the positive side my cousin called last night and said he will do all the alterations we need for Dad to have access at home which is a fantastic help, God bless him. The operation is now scheduled for Monday to allow his dialysis to be sorted. We will get there, I have to go I can't see for tears. Your support means so much xxx
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Rose sweetie I am so sad about Molly. I was just thinking this morning as I didn't want to get out of bed and having my cat snuggled up against me how wonderful and loving our pet companions are, and I dread the day when I will have to say goodbye to her because she is my best friend at times... so I understand your tears and sadness that she is not with you anymore.. All I can offer is the positive thought that she went quickly and peacefully - and I think that is what we would all want - for ourselves and our loved ones. In time, when you are ready, you may wish to find yourself another 4 legged furry friend...
About your Dad.. this is, I guess, what you expected to happen and obviously they are treating it seriously to get it done ASAP. Again looking positively about it (as you clearly are trying to do) that if it ends his current suffering and pain that can only be a good thing. Yes, a lot of adjustments for him and the family absolutely, but it seems this is something that needs to happen for him.
You know you have us and every thought we can muster sending you love and support....
xoxoxoxo :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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My heart aches for you, Rose. I am sending you a big hug. :grouphug;
I wish I could do more.
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Rose... I am so so so sorry to hear about your Molly, please know that you and your faily are in my prayers..
Never forget how strong you are Rose, you have all IHD's strenght behind you also
Hugs to your mom and dad
:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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thinking of you :grouphug;
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:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
For you, for your mum and dad, and for Molly, who will live in your memory.
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Thinking of you, Rose...
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Thanks everyone, I'm now doing practical things like looking into care, ramps, wheelchairs etc. Once the operation is over and assuming (praying) it is success, then I will set to work and make it as smooth for Mum & Dad as I can. Thursday and yesterday were horrendous but I am getting my head together now, I'll always miss my Molly, I am tearing up now, getting up to a quiet empty house is weird - but she will always be in my memory and you know what - they are only happy memories, she was such a sweet natured loving dog, everyone loved her, even people who didn't like dogs!. When I get time I'm going to see if I can post her pic as my avatar I already have it on facebook.
Thank you all for the support, it really does mean so much :grouphug;
Fingers crossed for Monday, I will keep you posted.
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:grouphug; Thinking of you Rose, giving you a big hug. I hope all goes well on Monday, what a long weekend it will be for you.
Love to you, Mum and Dad Yvonne
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Rose, so sorry about Molly. I lost my beloved cat in May and we had the same relationship that you had with Molly. It's hard to lose your best friend. We will all be praying for you and for your family. Best wishes to Dad, bless his heart. :grouphug;
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:cuddle; Thinking of you Rose and will continued to pray. :cuddle;
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Keeping you all in my prayers, everyday. Love you, Rose :cuddle;
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Just back from visiting Dad and he seems a little brighter today and is now accepting that whilst it won't be easy he will be out of pain and have a better quality of life. That's made me feel a little more cheerful.
Just to add to my woes today I was painting the radiatior (we started decorating the dining room before all this) and it fell on my foot. I was OK driving to hospital and back (4 hours round trip) but it now aches like mad and I have an ice p back on it............what will I do next I wonder :rofl;
Hey how do you like the new avatar - my dear sweet Molly dog! Much missed but such happy memories,
love you all for caring so much about us xxx
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aww Molly looks like a sweet dog (and I am not a dog person as everyone here knows!!!)....
I'm sorry about your foot too.. it does seem to be a trying time for you.
I'm also sorry the English cricketers are letting you down (no wait, no I'm not!!! :rofl;)!!! GO AUSSIES!!!! heheheh
hugs for you xoxoxoxo
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Keep those happy memories, rose dear.
Molly looks like such a sweetie.
Hugs.
:cuddle;
Aleta
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:grouphug; Rose, one step at a time. That is what I say every morning when I get get. Keep your foot up as much as possible and rotate cold and warm as see if that helps. Bless your heart. Molly will always be with you. :cuddle;
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Thanks again for all the love.
Richmel - you told me one test does not a series make - so don't laugh too soon, wait until we get to the Oval ;)
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Oh Rose...
I'm SO sorry to hear of your present troubles... What a lot you've been through as a family... We chatted so much you and I about our concerns and difficulties, but I think we both kept our sense of humour, and please God we'll never lose it... It's what keeps us dsane!...
I'm also very upset to hear of your loss of Molly... We do love our pawed people, and it's one of the most awful, and harrowing decisions we have to make as pet parents... Please God, when things get better, you'll take another fur baby into your life and your heart... We'd never admit it, but we just can't live without them... By the way, that's a lovely pic... She was a dote!...
I'll be thinking of, and praying for your parents and yourself on Monday...
May God bless and protect you all...
God bless...
Darth...
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Rose,
Please let Your Father and Mother, know, that there are many People, here, Praying for and Wishing them a Safe Journey, in the Adjustments, they will have to make in the Weeks ahead.
The only Animal, I had, in My Life, that I really Loved, Died about Twelve Years Ago. Her Name was Molly. I still think about that Dog.
I'm Sorry, You lost Your Molly.
Please, take some time and care for Yourself, also. It's so Important, right now.
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She was a beautiful dog, Rose and I'm sure she was a wonderful friend.
I hope the foot is not swelling.
:cuddle;
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Good morning my friends, thank you again for your support.
My foot was very painful when I got home last night and beginning to swell, but I got some ice on it and kept it elevated, this morning it is a lot more comfortable - but I'm not complaining when I think of the pain Dad is in. Matt, my son, is here and able to drive us over today so I can rest it a bit longer.
Darth you are so right about a sense of humour, dad hasn't lost his ........yesterday, before we arrived, the nurse came to help him back to bed from the toilet (he's a bit wobbly as his foot is so sore) she told me she'd said to him "here Bill take my arm" and he'd replied "yes, if they're having my leg I'll have your arm" and they'd had a laugh.............I hope he never loses that I think it's part of his 'scouse' inheritance (born in Liverpool for those of you who do not live in the UK or Ireland!!).
Lots of love to you all, I will keep you posted.
Rose xx
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I think humour is a great tool for dealing with trauma and traumatic situations. Sometimes I sit in dialysis and really the only thing to do is laugh. We often discuss with the nurses that without a sense of humour you might as well give up - and I think there is definitely something to that.
Rose glad you have your son over to help with things and give you some support.
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Agreed Folks...
I visit a 104 year old in a Nursing Home, and she says that she'll only grow old when she loses her sense of humour...
Please God it all works out for your family and your dad... And yes, I fully understand the Scouser sense of humour... Very similar to the Irish...
May God bless and protect you all...
Darth...
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Speaking of sense of humour.....
England all out for 263. Australia wins!!! >:D :rofl;
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Yes, so much better to laugh than cry. I have taken to beating pillows with a tennis racquet when I am really frustrated or upset and need to do something with the negative energy. It's a good path to laughter. If you try it, be sure to turn the tennis racquet so that the flat side is perpendicular to the floor. You don't want to damage your wrist! :cuddle;
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Speaking of sense of humour.....
England all out for 263. Australia wins!!! >:D :rofl;
We thought we'd give you a chance :rofl;
Yes, so much better to laugh than cry. I have taken to beating pillows with a tennis racquet when I am really frustrated or upset :cuddle;
I 'strangle' a tea towel :rofl;
I visit a 104 year old in a Nursing Home, and she says that she'll only grow old when she loses her sense of humour...
I love that, it really gives you hope doesn't it.
Thanks everyone for being here for me through this tough time, hopefully tomorrow will come and go and we can start to plan our new lives when Dad will hopefully be free of pain. This is not the end, it is the beginning.
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I visit a 104 year old in a Nursing Home, and she says that she'll only grow old when she loses her sense of humour...
I love that, it really gives you hope doesn't it.
[/quote]
Yep, this lady's amazing... Just moved into the home last year at the age of 103 because she was hit by a van when she was out on her bycycle going to the post office to collect the 'Old People's' pensions... The 'Old People' she speaks of are in their seventies and eighties!.... STILL hand sews, and embroiders (without glasses!) vestments for her grandson who's a priest, crochets Christening Robes in very fine silk yarn, reads the Irish Times daily, and what I REALLY envy, she can do the cryptic crossword, and always finishes it!...
Rose, I'll be thinking of and praying for you and your parents tomorrow...
May God bless and protect you all....
God bless...
Darth...
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Rose I love the photo of Molly, please keep her there, I can now tell you apart from the other rose on this site, but also Molly looks so loveable.
I am thinking of you today, It will be a very long day for you I hope Dad will be the first one on the list for his operation.
Also hope your son is still with you for the time being, it helps so much when you have your nearest and dearest.
Sorry about your foot I hope it is on the mend, I bet it is all the colours of the rainbow now!
Goodluck and Love goes out to you Dad Yvonne
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It's mid day now, Dad still waiting and no one can tell us when he may go into theatre. Never mind, as long as all goes well............but the waiting isn't nice.
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It's likely to be a long wait, I'm afraid, Rose...
Amputations for reasons of infection or gangerene are regarded as 'Dirty Procedures' (dreadful expression!), and the Operating Theatre cannot be used again until it has been deep cleaned... For that reason, unless it's a dire emergency, they usually get the rest of the theatre list done, and leave such procedures as your dad's until last...
Please know that I am thinking of, and praying for you, your mum and siblings, and of course, your dad...
May God bless and protect you all...
Love...
Darth...
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I woke up thinking of you and your family this morning. Thank you for the update. I know the waiting is hard...I'm thinking of you!
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I'd love to be able to fetch you and your Mum a nice cup of tea and chat a bit while you wait but due to geographical humbug I can only do this in spirit.
Thinking of you.
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You are in my thoughts today. Lots of prayers for your Dad and my love to all three of you. :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Lots of hugs to you Rose. My thoughts are with you and your dad.
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:grouphug; Rose :cuddle;
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:cuddle; Hi Rose - I am pacing with you.
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Morning Rose, just wanted to send :cuddle; :cuddle;
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...thinking of you, Rose...and waiting to hear...waiting....waiting...waiting... worried about Rose and Dad and Mum...thinking of you, Rose
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It's likely to be a long wait, I'm afraid, Rose...
Amputations for reasons of infection or gangerene are regarded as 'Dirty Procedures' (dreadful expression!), and the Operating Theatre cannot be used again until it has been deep cleaned... For that reason, unless it's a dire emergency, they usually get the rest of the theatre list done, and leave such procedures as your dad's until last...
Please know that I am thinking of, and praying for you, your mum and siblings, and of course, your dad...
May God bless and protect you all...
Love...
Darth...
Thanks Darth, that explains a lot.........(thanks for your PM too xx)
Dad's op was postponed this afternoon, there were too many emergencies and we are waiting for a new date, possibly Wednesday. Our troops are often brought back to Selly Oak where Dad is and of course if he is being left until last then it may be a bit longer before he is 'done'. I hope it won't be too long as he is in such pain.
Thanks all for your love, good wishes, thoughts and prayers which mean such a lot.
Bless you all
Rose xx
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Oh, Rose,
Waiting is the worst. Thinking of you and your family.
:grouphug; :grouphug;
Aleta
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Rose,
You're more than welcome to the PM... Isn't that what friends are for???...
I'm SO very sorry to hear about your dad's op being cancelled... The poor man, and the poor family...
This is SO unfair... And of course, the longer he's waiting, the more he suffers...
Please know that I'm thinking of you all...
May God bless and protect you all...
Darth...
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Oh no!! I was hoping he wouldn't get postponed - poor guy -- I am so sorry Rose. xoxoxox :grouphug;
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Oh Rose I am so sorry the operation has been postponed, if only they knew what they put you through all the worrying. Please let the hospital operate on Wednesday without another delay, I really do feel for you and Mum and Dad. Love to you 3
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We have just heard from the hospital that they plan to operate tomorrow afternoon (Wednesday 12th) it would have been my 31st wedding anniversary, I hope that is a good omen. I hope it goes ahead this time and I hope the outcome is good. Please say a prayer/wish Dad luck/think positive thoughts again if you can. Thanks very much everyone. I hope to be posting good news this time tomorrow.xx
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:grouphug; Thanks Rose - hope things get worked out.
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Please God it finally goes ahead tomorrow, Rose...
I'm looking forward to hearing good news...
May God bless and protect you all...
Darth...
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Hoping all turns out well tomorrow, Rose. :grouphug;
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I've been thinking of you, Rose, and praying all is well. Pop in and update us when you're up to it. :grouphug;
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Hi Inara...
Very sadly, Roses dad died on August 14th... RIP... Here is a link to the tribute tread to the late Bill...
http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=15272.0
May his gentle soul rest in peace...
God bless....
Darth....
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Thank you so much, Darth. I don't know how in the world I missed that....I check the boards every day. Anyway, I appreciate it and left my condolences on the appropriate thread.
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You can't think of everything, Inara...
I regularly miss important things, too...
God bless....
Darth...