What's this feeling?

[devon]

Y'all will appreciate the "revelation" I had a few minutes ago...

Last night's session was another 5.5 kilos of fluid, 30 minutes of near blackout, dizziness and finally conscious enough to drive home without worry.  I got to bed at 9:30-10:00 watching TV with my kid. Well, we watched what he wanted to watch which was the distubing "UFC fights of 2007".  (If you don't know about UFC, it's street fighting with lots of bruises and blood but with a referee of sorts to keep it within legal bounds.)  He, like most post-adolescent American boys, loves it, knows all the fighters, managers, etc.  I muster up all the machismo I can while watching with a hand held over my eyes like a kid at his first horror flick.   I watch it because it's time I spend with my kid.  I focus on the "quality time" aspect and try to ignore the scene I'm witnessing.

Anyway, I fall off to sleep and awaken a couple hours later.  Then back to sleep and awaken after a couple hours.  This goes on for most of the night.  I'm worrying over the fact that I'm not getting my precious sleep.  Years of sleep deprivation from Kidney Disease issues has taught me the importance of sleep to my overall health. Not enough sleep will ruin what little of the day I have. 

At four AM I finally give up and turn on the light and watch TV.  Fortunately there's something worth watching.  (Thank you Discovery TV!)  At six, I get up, get dressed, take the kid to get something to eat before I leave for work at seven.  I'm feeling bright and alert, food tastes strangely "good".  A 1/2 glass of milk is richer than usual.  The sunrise is slightly brighter.  I arrive at the office and start my day, feeling more alert and motivated than usual. 

Finally, it occurs to me that I'm feeling "better".  This is the feeling that I've been looking for since I started dialysis.  This is that "better" that people talked about!  I've felt so bad for so long, I didn't know what "good" felt like.  What a pleasant feeling this is!  I wonder how long it'll last!

-Devon

(Thanks for letting me share this moment with you!)

[Bajanne]

Absolutely wonderful!!!
Thanks for letting us be a part of this.  that is how i feel these days, most of the time. 
 
I didn't like this final sentence, though!

  I wonder how long it'll last!

Carpe diem!  Seize the day!

[willieandwinnie]

devon  I hope and pray that the better feelings continue. 

[thegrammalady]

  fantastic! knew you would get there.

[monrein]

Devon, your post brought a strange tear to my eyes, because I remember that feeling oh so well.  And it's such a relief, and it was only a few months ago for me.  I'm so glad you're getting there.  I don't like hearing about the amount of fluid you keep taking off but maybe you're still establishing a dry weight and that is accumulated fluid.  It's too much really as a regular occurrence.

[Joe Paul]

Good for you   

[Rerun]

What you will come to realize is that after an hour of black out, dizziness, and the pure sludge of dragging yourself home after dialysis.. ANYTHING will feel better!  I'm glad you are feeling better about dialysis.  I hope you can continue working.  Try a small dose of sleeping medicine.  You will need your sleep if you want to work.

[Zach]

Congrats on feeling better.

But you've got to get that fluid consumption under control.  Perhaps it's too much sodium, in what you eat or by way of the dialysate.
 

[Rerun]

Zach is right.  That huge fluid shift is not good.  You need to drink less between runs.  The less you have to take off the better it goes.

[paris]

Devon,  What a nice revelation.  Enjoy your day and this good feeling.      You are doing an amazing job of transitioning into your new world.       Hope each day continues to be better than the last.