Tired of Looking Old Rant!

[Rerun]

I'll start this rant with saying I'm 46 years young!!  I started this whole dialysis ride when I was 24.  I've been through a lot medically.  Dialysis, Transplant, Diverticulitis, Colostomy, Take down surgery, Fistula, Dialysis, etc., etc., etc.,  or blah blah blah.

Everywhere I go I get the "well, how old are you" referring to "if you are over 60 you get the Senior Discount."  WTF!  I'm only 46 years old!  No, I don't have great grandchildren yet!  I get asked about my grandkids all the time.  Sometimes I play along like if I'm on the airplane and will never see the person again. See, I never even had children, so I'm really insulted or it just hurts my feelings.  I get asked about my age at least twice a week and I'm so tired of it.  "NO, I'm not over 60, I know I look 60 but I'm only 46.  I got new glasses, I've changed my hair style.  I try and dress young.  Now I just look like a 60 year old woman trying to hang on to her youth. 

This is what I want to say to the next store or restaurant employee.  "Look, before you ask, I'm 46, so don't even think about asking me about the Senior Discount."!!!

Yesterday I went to a fitness center to join.  The check in person asked my age in case I would qualify.  I said I was over 60 and then he needed to see my ID, so that didn't work.

Then I wasn't in the hot tub 5 minutes before a 79 year old man came over to hit on me.   

My hands look old too.  Years of Prednasone has taken its toll. 

Anyone else feel this way?

[stauffenberg]

I was 44 when I developed renal failure and up until then I had looked a good ten years younger than my age.  As soon as I started dialysis people said I finally looked my age.  Last year I got a hair transplant, but instead of looking young as I had hoped I would, I now look like an old man wearing a Beatles wig.

[Rerun]

I was 44 when I developed renal failure and up until then I had looked a good ten years younger than my age.  As soon as I started dialysis people said I finally looked my age.  Last year I got a hair transplant, but instead of looking young as I had hoped I would, I now look like an old man wearing a Beatles wig.

           

[MyssAnne]

Yeah. But I FEEL old, rather than look old. I'm 47, only been on dialysis for 2+ years, but then I have a baby face. My hair is graying though, which confuses people.  I also walk old, if you know what I mean!
It hurts, guys!!! No, I'm NOT old, I just hurt!!

[NolaGail]

Rerun,

We have been hanging around with this spectre for quite a while, you and I.  I was also diagnosed at age 24.  But I just turned 49 on April 4.  Except for my gray hair, I still look relatively young (but both my parents grayed extremely young).  I was only on dialysis for a short time while hospitalized in 1983.  I don't know if that makes the difference in my looks.  People always tell me I look younger than I am (or FEEL!).  I had a flare up with a nasty kidney infection (as if I needed that  ) last summer, and it had me looking pretty ragged for about 4 months.  I walked with either a cane or a walker for a time.  I looked and acted like I was at least 90.  I have to admit that infection kicked my butt    . 

I think that because we don't wear scarlet letters on our chests signifying kidney disease, most people don't take time to realize that a lot of us don't remember what it is like to really feel good.  They take their health for granted.  Sometimes I wish people (especially my family) could feel what I feel for about 5 minutes, but I truly wouldn't wish this on anyone.

NolaGail

[paris]

I think my face has aged a good ten years in two years time.  I look like my Mother--when did that happen?  Beth was looking at an old prom picture of me and finally I said "I am still in here --look!"  And I took off my glasses and stretched my face to make all the wrinkles disappear------- See? I'm in here behind all the aging skin and greying hair!!   She thinks I am crazy!      So, yes I think this disease ages us.     
 
Rerun, I knew the first time I met you that you are much younger than me.  You are cute, petite and I don't see how people take you for being older.    Of course, I originally thought you were a 20 something with long flowing blond hair, dressed in red!    

[rose1999]

Do you find that every time you look in the mirror there's an old woman/man standing in the way.............the you realise it IS you 

Stauffenberg I don't suppose there's any chance of  of the old man in a Beatles wig................ oh go on!!
 

Rerun - you mean that avatar isn't you???

[Sunny]

Yes, I have aged 10 years in looks since contracting kidney disease in 2001. However, my medical treatment put me into menopause immediately and so that
has something to do with it. Compared to my peers, I feel like I look old. The worse part is the way my body also feels old, with aches and pains I thought I wouldn't have until I was seventy. Nobody can see the aches and pains I have in my body, which I feel age me more than my appearance. After all, my appearance I can change and I do that by: dying my hair every 5 weeks, having my 17 year old daughter tell me whether my clothes are too "old", and I have even gotten botox on my forehead (it works!). I turned 48 on April 4th (NolaGail, we share a birthday), and it's getting harder and harder to hold onto what looks I have. My husband says I'm imagining things and I still look good to him. And my complexion is oh so bad.I suspect all the toxins building up in my body along with high blood pressure meds makes my complexion look bad. I think it's important, though, to do your best with your appearance because it's an indication that you still care about yourself. So we do the best we can with what we have because it means you still care about yourself.

[Meinuk]

Rerun, my mother was a pretty amazing looking woman in her teens and twenties, and by her mid thirties, ESRD hit her hard.  She rather quickly went from looking like a young Elizabeth Taylor to Elizabeth Taylor of today.  I know that losing her looks hurt her, but she took it in stride, and I over heard her speaking with some random man at Lord & Taylor - she told him that she was 65.  (I was eight. She was 40.)  He gasped and told her how good she looked for her age.  She smiled, because the man was complimenting her. (and my mther knew how to fish for a compliment) She was dead by 44, I know that those last few years took their toll on her, but she had a point.

I've noticed that I have started hitting the wall, (I'm going to be 42) But I can guarantee that as soon as I need to, I'll be adding a few years for vanity's sake. 

[monrein]

Oh rerun I sure wish they'd all just shut up and not say stupid things out of ignorance.  Like if you were entitled to the Seniors discount you'd ask for it right??  I've been very lucky in that people tell me I look good and not my age and blah blah blah (don't get me wrong I appreciate the compliments and all ) but when I'm feeling like crap and that's quite often these days and some people ask how I am, if I tell them the truth they look at me as if I'm lying or exaggerating.  Then of course they say "Well you certainly look the picture of health".  I suppose if I threw up on a person they might get it then.  When I've had a bout of something that really takes me down or sleep particularly badly some people are very quick to say how tired I look.  I do think to myself "and your point is?" because I don't feel tired ,I feel exhausted and the fact they're seeing me at all is a miracle because I dragged my sorry self out of bed so I don't become a recluse.  It ain't always easy but I do try to cut people some slack because when you're healthy I don't think you can ever have a clue how we feel. 

[Rerun]

I was never pretty, so I'm not being vein.  I'm just tired of all the people who assume I'm older than I am.

No, the avatar is not me.  That is one I picked out of the IHD supply.  I think she is Shkira (sp).  Some singer.  I would love to look like her!  I've had people PM me to tell me how good I look. 

                   

Thanks for the responses.  It made me laugh and get a better balance about myself.

[Meinuk]

Rerun,

The day I met you, you had dialyzed, flown to Vegas and when you walked into the restaurant, you lit up the room.  (and then, you crawled under the table to talk to people on the other side. (all while wearing an IHD shirt.))

You may not feel pretty, but to me, you are beautiful!

[Sluff]

Dang I thought your avatar was really a picture of you. You are cute little thang in my eyes.   When I gave you that ride on my bike I didn't even know you were there...

[monrein]

And just from this board alone your personality is stunningly beautiful.  Pretty.... psshaw

[MyssAnne]

I agree. I recall  the pictures of Rerun with Sluff. SHe looked positively adorable and cute!!
So tiny in compairson to our (big and mighty!) Sluff, too!

I tend to look at people from the inside out. Once I like someone, they are beautiful to me.
And I like Rerun. I like her spirit, I liker her humor, I like her intelligence. Heck, what's not to like?
 

[boxman55]

Oh rerun I sure wish they'd all just shut up and not say stupid things out of ignorance.  Like if you were entitled to the Seniors discount you'd ask for it right??  I've been very lucky in that people tell me I look good and not my age and blah blah blah (don't get me wrong I appreciate the compliments and all ) but when I'm feeling like crap and that's quite often these days and some people ask how I am, if I tell them the truth they look at me as if I'm lying or exaggerating.  Then of course they say "Well you certainly look the picture of health".  I suppose if I threw up on a person they might get it then.  When I've had a bout of something that really takes me down or sleep particularly badly some people are very quick to say how tired I look.  I do think to myself "and your point is?" because I don't feel tired ,I feel exhausted and the fact they're seeing me at all is a miracle because I dragged my sorry self out of bed so I don't become a recluse.  It ain't always easy but I do try to cut people some slack because when you're healthy I don't think you can ever have a clue how we feel. 

Monrein your post hit home for me and I am sure for a lot of us here who are on dialysis ...Boxman

[paris]

OMG--I forgot about crawling under the table!  That shows you how tiny and petite Rerun is!  You didn't see any of the rest of us crawling under anything!!

[kitkatz]

Oh my gosh! I know exactly how you feel. If the goodwill asks me one more time if I am a senior I am going to have a senior moment all over them!

[okarol]

Rerun, you're an old soul in a young body. You have wisdom and humor that people twice your age never get!
And it's true, Rerun is petite and slender and she did actually crawl under the table. I would have been stuck, forcing a call to 911 to remove me.
I hate when I don't have make-up on and people say "Oh you look tired." Gee thanks. I felt great until you told me that!

[Jill D.]

Rerun, I also was surprised when you posted that people mistake you for a 60 year old!!! When I met you in Vegas, my first thought was that you looked and acted very youthful. You always had a smile on your face and you were very funny!!! Remember that mean dealer at the black jack table? Now, THERE"S a hag!!!!

[Ohio Buckeye]

I only hope I don't look as old as I feel some days.

[paddbear0000]

I was 44 when I developed renal failure and up until then I had looked a good ten years younger than my age.  As soon as I started dialysis people said I finally looked my age.  Last year I got a hair transplant, but instead of looking young as I had hoped I would, I now look like an old man wearing a Beatles wig.

We want a  please!   

[okarol]

 

[kellyt]

I was 44 when I developed renal failure and up until then I had looked a good ten years younger than my age.  As soon as I started dialysis people said I finally looked my age.  Last year I got a hair transplant, but instead of looking young as I had hoped I would, I now look like an old man wearing a Beatles wig.

We want a  please!   

Tacky.....   

[Sunny]

So, do you think he looks like Paul or Ringo?