Things not to do to me while I am at My dialysis center.

[donnia]

I only have one, and it is directed at one tech.... I'll call him Wayne, cause thats his name......


DO NOT throw my glove in my lap when it is time for me to hold my sites, cause next time you do so I will throw it back and I'll add a few four letter words with it!     

The rest of my techs and nurses are the best.... love them all!

[thegrammalady]

if i'm sleeping don't wake me, unless the building is on fire or i'm bleeding to death. only the doctor can because he comes specifically to see me, everyone else works in the building, they can wait till i'm awake.

labs are done on monday, results are in on wednesday. if they are all so fired important why should i have to wait two weeks to get the results. yes, i realize i'm not the only one who has lab work, but come on now the results print out is a computer program, really how long does it take to push a few buttons. i'm not 5, i don't need (or want) the kindergarten version. i can read and understand the same print out the doctor gets (for reallies)

and if i have a problem, don't send the social worker to talk me out of it (unless you want an irritated mad raging bull) just get the problem fixed (i'm really not a nice lady, it's all your imagination and i can prove it if you really want)

[Chris]

if i'm sleeping don't wake me, unless the building is on fire or i'm bleeding to death. only the doctor can because he comes specifically to see me, everyone else works in the building, they can wait till i'm awake.

labs are done on monday, results are in on wednesday. if they are all so fired important why should i have to wait two weeks to get the results. yes, i realize i'm not the only one who has lab work, but come on now the results print out is a computer program, really how long does it take to push a few buttons. i'm not 5, i don't need (or want) the kindergarten version. i can read and understand the same print out the doctor gets (for reallies)

and if i have a problem, don't send the social worker to talk me out of it (unless you want an irritated mad raging bull) just get the problem fixed (i'm really not a nice lady, it's all your imagination and i can prove it if you really want)

This damn smiley face crap seems to be a universal dialysis clinic approach in the United States the more I read on here. I hated those darn stickers, they are useless. Why can't they get it thru their thick skulls!

I guess I would have to  into them to give me actual lab results.

[thegrammalady]

I guess I would have to  into them to give me actual lab results.

it's really not all that difficult, i simply ask the nurse for the print out on wensdays when i arrive. it's much more complete than the kindergarten version the dietitian trys to give me a week or more later. i just smile at her and say "i've seen them" and she keeps walking.

[Chris]

I guess I would have to  into them to give me actual lab results.

it's really not all that difficult, i simply ask the nurse for the print out on wensdays when i arrive. it's much more complete than the kindergarten version the dietitian trys to give me a week or more later. i just smile at her and say "i've seen them" and she keeps walking.

My center was not like that dimwit one and dimwit two (social worker and dietician) would never give me a print out of my results. I only got a weeks worth of true results post trasplant from the center because the transplant center requested them for comparison values. Those darn smiley face stickers irritate the heck out of me still when I think of the center.

[RichardMEL]

What the...? smiley faces??? sheesh. I just ask for the printout or the numbers and they read it off the computer to me. No fuss no issue.

We get a dietician visit once a year (ugh what a chore.. tell me about your average meals in a day.. blah blah blah.. yeah miss I drink 3 litres of coke and eat chocolate cake all day what do YOU think. If my labs are off tell me I should eat more of X or less of Y.. don't make me repeat the same crap over and over... oh and by the way my labs ARE fine because *I* take an active interest in my body and the results on a monthly basis and if something's a bit up I'll adjust accordingly).. blah

Of course they did send this CUTE student dietician the other day... now she can come back anyday hubbay hubba

[kimcanada]

Richard made me think of this...

Why with a disease where diet is SO important , would I have only seen a dietitian once in a year and a half??  Would you not think that they would offer classes or even a handout of a healthy recipe once a year or something???

[thegrammalady]

Richard made me think of this...

Why with a disease where diet is SO important , would I have only seen a dietitian once in a year and a half??  Would you not think that they would offer classes or even a handout of a healthy recipe once a year or something???

we have a dietitian and a social worker on staff at my center. i don't always see them wandering around talking to people every session but if i need one of them all i have to do is ask.

[kitkatz]

All i have to do is holler and I get the dietician or the social worker anytime.  I am lucky I sit right up front and they are walking back an dforth a lot.

[Adam_W]

I see my dietitian and social worker once a month, but I can call them anytime I need them.

Adam

[kimcanada]

you guys are lucky, we do see thw social worker once a week , she will walk around and ask how things are going... dietitian... once , last May

[kellyt]

you guys are lucky, we do see thw social worker once a week , she will walk around and ask how things are going... dietitian... once , last May

That's crazy...

[monrein]

Kim, have you asked to see the dietician?  I did a student social work placement in a big Toronto hospital and the dietician was a huge part of the team.  Last week when I saw the new renal management team here, again the dietician was one of the folks I met.  Ask the social worker how come your dietician is so missing in action?  I personally like it when I see the SW and the dietician only when I want them but when I need them, I want them to be available.

[Neo]

WoW I should totally post this on my door at my unit!! This is great we should print theses and give them out to the staff!!

[bdpoe]

 missing my Lucky Bunny since last May RIP Lucky!


Reading these postings makes me sick! You are the damn customer and client.
This crap should Not be taking place.

Too many staff members have the attitude that WE are there for their benefit.

As for the gross, dirty, noisy patient next to you, the staff should say something to him or her.

The staff gets paid to show you every due consideration.

Managers need to insure that patients come first!

The nurse is supposed to be your #1 ADVOCATE not the advocate of the clinic or hospital.

........bdpoe/ Florida

[spacezombie]

Oh man, this list was great. Most of the hospital staff has no idea what it is like to be a patient.

My list of things not to do to me while on PD:

* DON'T just start trying to yank out my PD tube to inspect it. ASK first. I don't want your grimy doctor hands on it spreading germs and it is rude to unbutton someone's pants without asking first.

* When my phosphorus is bad, understand that I get lectured about it 700 times. I know what foods are bad to eat. Also, don't lecture me about my bad phosphorus last month until you see the new labs from this month!!

* Do not treat me like a child. I know I look like I'm 12 but I'm actually 30.

* Do not treat me like a criminal when my labs are bad. I make every attempt to take care of myself but sometimes my body does not cooperate.

* Doctors: when you have bad news for someone, do not make the nurse deliver the news for you!

* Do not make important health decisions without consulting me first. Do not schedule surgery without telling me then leave a message about it on my answering machine!

* I'm on time to my appointments. Be on time to yours! Do not leave me waiting for 3 hours every month.

* Don't hug me, don't shake my hands unless you've washed yours first.

--

Things not to do to me on Hemo:

* When I tell you I have gained actual fatty weight, do not attempt to pull off this extra weight as water.

* Show me what you are doing. My treatment should not be a secret.

* If I freak out in fear before my hemo treatment, it is not because I am a baby: it is because I think the techs/nurses might kill me.

--

Things not to do to me in the Hospital:

* Don't give me a cup of pills without telling me what each one is, their side effects, and why I must take them.

* Read my chart! There is quite a bit of information on there. It'll keep you from lecturing me about blood sugar when I am not a diabetic!

* Quit giving me milk and yogurt!

* Do not put people with horrible contagious diseases next to me! No, I hadn't had the chickenpox yet, thanks!

--

I'm sure there is more. The hospital always pisses me off! At least right now I have an excellent PD nurse that always takes good care of me. 

[JasonEb]

I think I've got a few...

Please don't lecture me about anything kidney/dialysis related.  You've been working here 2 years while I've been living it for nearly 10, as well as living with someone who's worked in the field for nearly the same amount of time.  I'm sure I could train new workers at this point.

Please, if you're a fat nurse/doctor or reek of cigarette smoke as you hover over me, don't lecture me about how I need to improve my lifestyle, or how I'm "killing myself" by skipping a treatment now and then.

Please change the policy about not being able to use the restroom during treatments.  When the techs, nurses, or doctors are willing to come out on the floor, put those flimsy, see-through screens around themselves and sit on a port-a-potty, then so will I.  Until then, take me off the machine for five lousy minutes so I can go use the restroom like a civilized person.

I understand that the bleach water that has the clamps in it has to go somewhere, and I'm resigned that that place is near my chair, but PLEASE do not toss the clamps into it so that I continuously get bleach splashed on me.

Please, when I eat my lunch each day during treatments, come up and ask me "Did you take your binders?".

Speaking of lunch, can we please take down (or at least move it out to the lobby or something) that awful poster that's right next to the scale that shows people toes and other body parts rotting off.  Every time I weigh in, I have to see that thing just before I eat!

If I want to be taken off early, do NOT try to talk me out of it, or try to compromise with me.  I TOLD you I want to be taken off, it wasn't an invitation for a debate.

If you're using that sling thing to put someone in a chair across from me, when he/she is in the chair, don't just push the sling so that it rolls across the aisle and runs into my chair.  The same holds true for garbage cans and wheelchairs.

If you're wheeling someone out, and have to stop in order to take care of something else, do NOT place them so close to me that I could kiss them if I wanted to.

And lastly, DO NOT SQUEEZE THE CHARMIN!!

No, wait...forget that last one.

~Jason E.

[spacezombie]

Speaking of lunch, can we please take down (or at least move it out to the lobby or something) that awful poster that's right next to the scale that shows people toes and other body parts rotting off. 

Hahaha, I agree. There is a horrible poster in my dialysis unit of infected catheters. I really could do without seeing that. 

[twirl]

a policy not to get off to go to the bathroom    where did you get dialysis    in Hell
at least if I beg enough, I am blessed to go to the bathroom
I'd get off early every treatment due to waste products on the floor, chair and my jeans if we had that policy
and I bitch about a 30 minute wait after asking to go to the potty
it must be a pitiful day in dialysis if you have direaha
we should start a new thread--- things to do while you are trying and sweating and praying not to have an "accident"

[Adam_W]

Don't jump to conclusions and assume I'm going to hurt myself or others and make me end my treatment early because I'm upset. During one of my emotional breakdowns I had in-centre, They were assuming that, and they made me leave with and hour and a half left in my treatment. Just before that, the patient next to me requested to get off the machine early because he thought I was "dangerous". I later set things right with the patient and we continued to be friends, but the staff had me labeled as emotionally unstable the rest of the time I was there. I kept expecting for them to make me do dialysis in a straight jacket".  "Assumption is the mother of all f***ups" (line from the movie "Under Siege 2"). 

[Chris]

"Assumption is the mother of all f***ups" (line from the movie "Under Siege 2"). 

That is a classic line/quote that is very useful.

[migaguiar]

You guys are hilarious.

Mine is simple.

1. Yes, i do consider asking for Tylenol a medical emergency. Dont take your sweet time. I have a headache.

[spacezombie]

You guys are hilarious.

Mine is simple.

1. Yes, i do consider asking for Tylenol a medical emergency. Dont take your sweet time. I have a headache.

Hahaha, I agree. After my first transplant, I had a horrible cyclosporine induced headache and I could not get anyone to bring me something for it. I finally sat on the floor in the hallway until they helped me. I found that sitting on the floor in the hospital and crying gets you morphine very quickly.

[alrightstill]

Wow, I couldnt agree with all of you more!

I do the nXstage 6 days a week. 

Here's a little list of my things not to do to me while I'm dialyzing at home.  Now, mind you, the following may have only been done once (some more --) but once is enough! haha.

  - Please do not invite people over while I'm on the machine - even if they don't come in my dialysis room.  I'm nosey as all hell and hate to feel like I'm missing out on fun. 
  - Please do not cut thru the dialysis room to get to our balcony and leave the dogs in the room with me barking up a storm cuz they want to go outside with you. 
  - Pleaseeeee do not hand me the phone while I'm on the machine.  More than likely I'd rather not talk .. to anyone.
  - Please do not say "geesh its like a sauna in here" everytime you walk in the room.  Yes, I need my portable space heater with a remote.. even in the middle of summer!
  - Please understand that afterwards I may have a hot flash and then need my air conditioner on - I'm not indecisive.  Ok, I am.. but I'm also an unpredictable dialysis patient. 
 
For the people living downstairs (my neighbors slash landlords):
   - Please dont point out and say something everytime I get a delivery.  Yes. He's here again with 22 boxes.  He's been coming every 2 weeks for 3 and a half years now.. do we still have to point it out each time?
    - Please let him pull up as close as he can to the front porch.  Those boxes are heavy and he then has to carry them up 18 stairs.  It wont hurt your halfdead grass to have a car parked on it for a half hour every 2 weeks.
    - When we're all sitting outside enjoying the sun with your children's friends over - please do not bring up my colonoscopy .. or yours .. or the fact that I don't pee.
    - Please do not ask me why I dont fall asleep every night (morning) til 7am.  I'm an insomniac.. and I can't help it.  You should know this by now.

Ohhh. one more for the neighbor.
   - Please do not walk your dog during the delivery, especially if he was just out an hour prior to the delivery.  We all know you're just trying to be nosey!
 And another - Please do not ask me to hurry up when I'm outside with my dogs because you want to bring your precious little dog out to do his business.  Our yard is huge and theres enough room for all of us to be out at the same time and not disrupt one another.    (Thats not dialysis related, but its been bothering me hahaha)

[tubes]

I have one....

At the end of treatment when I'm being taped up...PLEASE, don't wrap the tape all the way around my arm. I have to rip that crap off the next morning. NOT FUN! ! !