Too young to be in clinic

[Adam_W]

An example of how uninformed the general public is about dialysis: A few months ago, I went into the local convenience store to pick up a few things. When I got to the register, the cashier asked how my day was, and I said it was ok, but I had a rough dialysis treatment (that was when I was still in-centre and I crashed all the time). She responded "Oh, I could never do dialysis, I hate water!" I just paid for my items, and left the store shaking my head. I don't begin to know how she came up with that one.

Adam

[mrhecht]

Ok this reminds me of the person sitting next to me in-center one time who I overheard tell the charge nurse that his fluid gain was from taking too many showers over the weekend!
Yes, seriously.

And back to the rant that started this thread (yes I know it was last year's): may I continue his rant by picking up on the social worker he was ranting about. Do they all suffer from some kind of mental deficiency? Is it a requirement to get into the social work field that you must first
a) develop a sad puppy dog watery eye look of pity stare?
b) have some kind of obvious mental disturbance?
c) be completely obtuse?
d) consider your job well done if you come round your captive audience once a week, waking people up in an attempt to engage them in conversations which should most certainly be private, but aren't because you're in a room full of people?

I have two fond memories of social workers.

The first is just, well it's just unbelievably stupid. It was Valentine's Day or some such insipid greeting card "holiday" and I was in-center and napping quite peacefully. The social worker came round and quite forcefully (by saying my name loudly and repeatedly over and over; I guess she didn't understand being ignored) woke me up and stuck a plate with a piece of cake on it right in my face saying one word, "CAKE?" in this bright cheery Betty White kind of loud voice.  I'm sorry, but the whole idea of eating anything, much less being woken up to do it, in a place where that type of medical treatment is going on, was pretty repulsive to me. (To those of you who eat at your clinics, my apologies. I used to do it too, in the beginning.....but food in the unit is another rant.)

The second.....well I wasn't nice. There was this social worker who did virtually NOTHING for the patients. What she DID do was round in the unit once a week and it was as if she had this certain amount of time that she was determined to spend with the patients. I have yet to meet a social worker that I like, I avoid them always by "being asleep". This one, however, was determined. She would sit beside my chair until the time she had alloted herself was up.....never said a word, just sat beside the chair and stared at me. I could FEEL it. To her credit, she didn't try to wake me up, I guess she was just going to be there in case I wanted to "talk". After the second week of that, I opened up one eye and told her that I didn't require social worker services, that I would NEVER require social worker services and I would appreciate it if she would just leave me alone and not attempt to interact with me. If I needed anything from her, I would let her know. After that, she stared at the other sleeping patients and every quarter she would write on my PCC "does not require social services" which worked for me!

All social workers seem to have "issues".

[fluffy]

mrhecht, i completely understand how you feel about social workers. i think the problem with them is they way they get into professional detachment. im studying to be one so i can hopefully do  some good, but i've seen some other students trying so hard to go by the book. i watched one in a roleplay once and she had this dead faced stare with a slight smile. i called that the social worker face. i figure it becomes habitual and after so many years of doing the work they become dese3nsitized to other peoples suffering so the face they put on becomes a reality internally as well

[jbeany]

Actually, the social worker at my clinic was pretty good.  She's not an in-your-face sort of person, but if you need paper work help to deal with medicare or social security, she's very helpful.  She's got personal experience with both, though, as she put herself thru college while raising a daughter while in a wheelchair.  She may never have been on dialysis, but she "gets it" better than most of them.

There are good ones out there - but I'm betting mine is good because of dealing with a few social workers of her own!

[mrhecht]

Ok I confess I have met ONE social worker that I could deal with one on one as two people rather than that "patient/professional" thing. I actually remember her name. It was Barbara and she was the first social worker at my first clinic. Sense of humor, practical advice on wading thru paperwork. The big problem I have with social workers is that they all seem to want me to "share" how I feel and really have a go at "helping" me with all of my difficult issues. The reality is.....I don't want to be psycho evaluated everytime I have to talk to someone. I don't have the need to tell you how I "feel".

And then are the ones who have just assumed that because I'm on dialysis that I'm incapable of working and would offer me state assisted "re-training" on computers so I could get a job. So ok, you didn't have time to read my file before you came out on the floor to "help" me....so you couldn't have known that I've been working as a technical writer for the past 5 years or as a bookkeeper for 15 or as an administrative manager for 10, you couldn't have known that I've been training people on office PCs since they first arrived in offices in the late 80s. So you couldn't have known all that BEFORE you met me but can you at least remember that AFTER I tell you that I'm not in need of work re-training? Can you remember that I do meaningful work and have never stopped working after I tell you? Can you remember that because I work, I don't qualify for all this free aid that you keep trying to sign me up for? Can you not have that one size fits all approach to every person you come in contact with in a dialysis clinic.

So Fluff remember that not everyone responds to sympathy and pity and that we may all be dialysis patients but we're still inidividuals.

[BigSky]

An example of how uninformed the general public is about dialysis: A few months ago, I went into the local convenience store to pick up a few things. When I got to the register, the cashier asked how my day was, and I said it was ok, but I had a rough dialysis treatment (that was when I was still in-centre and I crashed all the time). She responded "Oh, I could never do dialysis, I hate water!" I just paid for my items, and left the store shaking my head. I don't begin to know how she came up with that one.

Adam

Ohh just wait till they tell you kidney failure can be cured with cranberry juice.

[Zach]

Ohh just wait till they tell you kidney failure can be cured with cranberry juice.

It can't??? Oh no!

[Rerun]

This really isn't the right place to talk about Social Workers but I have to tell you my experience last week.

I was laying there watching a movie when I saw her coming out of the corner of my eye.  "oh shit what the hell does she want now."
Luck would have it that her target was the HUGE black lady next to me.  I mean they have a hard time fitting her in the chair (not being mean but just giving you the visual).  Now this black lady has NO chance for a transplant.  First she is about 80 and in extreme poor health.  Has oxygen etc.  So this was the conversation.  (I was about ready to burst out laughing)

SW - Hi How are you.  (high loud squeeky voice)
PT - WHAT
SW - Hi How are you.
PT -  I'm as uncofortabel as hell.
SW - Would you be interested in a transplant?
PT - WHAT
SW - Have you thought about maybe getting a transplant?
PT - The doctor told me I can't have a transplant so I don't think I want one if I can't have one.
SW- Are you depresssssed?
PT - WAHT
SW - Are you depppprreeeesssed?
PT-  Yeah I think transplants are great my son's neighbor has one so I wish I could have one.
SW -  No, are you sssssaaaaaddddd?
PT - Yeah I want one bad but they say I can't have one.
SW - No, do you feel SSAAADDD sometimes.
PT -  Ya know I LOVE THE LORD JESUS AND HE HAS A PLAN FOR ME NOT TO HARM ME BUT TO PROTECT ME AND AS LONG AS JESUS WANTS ME HERE ON THIS EARTH I'LL BE HERE SERVING HIM. 
SW - Shhhhh you need to lower your voice.
PT - IT SAYS IN MATTHEW NOT TO BE AFRAID FOR THE LORD TAKES CARE OF THE LILLIES OF THE FIELD SO SHALL HE TAKE CARE OF ME.....
sw - (walks away)

Aahhhh that was a good day.   

[highlite36]

Ohh just wait till they tell you kidney failure can be cured with cranberry juice.

Cranberry juice?  HECK NO!!!!  Didn't they tell you that changed?  Now they recommend pepto-bismal with a shot of soy..... 


EDITED: Fixed quote - okarol/moderator

[RichardMEL]

I think younger people prefer M/W/F shifts so they have the weekend free. I know the 21 y.o. woman in my unit does that so she has the weekend to herself. I actually do it the other way - T/T/S so I can get more time in at work.. I think the prime difference there is that I have no life! LOL

As for Social Workers.... I'm a bit biased since my mother was Chief Social Worker for a major hospital here in the 80's/early '90's (before it shut down and was demolished). I think the problem is that you have to remain detached to do your job because becoming emotionally involved is a big no no for all sorts of reasons. Some handle the best way to approach patients better than others. I met one recently who just left me cold... but some others have been OK (of course comparing to my mum they have to be brilliant! )...

It is just a bit that it seems most of them seem so ineffectual at their job specially when it comes to Kidney Failure/dialysis requirements. Frankly I get better support out of the local nurses or co-ordinators or whatever.

[okarol]

This really isn't the right place to talk about Social Workers but I have to tell you my experience last week.

Aahhhh that was a good day.   

LOL so funny... so sad... so true...

[mrhecht]

Ohh just wait till they tell you kidney failure can be cured with cranberry juice.

Cranberry juice?  HECK NO!!!!  Didn't they tell you that changed?  Now they recommend pepto-bismal with a shot of soy..... 

Now wait that's wrong too.....copious amounts of Mangosteen juice followed by chelation and colon cleansing will do the trick. Oh and LOTS and LOTS of WATER....pure water to flush everything out of your system.

I have shortened my answer to these well-meaning but uninformed souls to, "It's a plumbing problem."


Rerun that social worker story was classic!

[goofynina]

You go Rerun, damn, i wish i could've seen the expression on her face, lol 

[lcamanini]

I hate that I'm the youngest one at my unit (I'm 21). Any time someone new visits a patient or there's a new patient, they stare at me through my entire treatment like they can't believe I'm there. It's really weird when people my age come to visit their grandparent on dialysis, because they really stare. I hate it. It makes me feel like some sort of animal in a zoo. Maybe I should start charging admission. 

[RichardMEL]

no no no! you've got it totally the wrong way!! They're staring because you're way too cute for dialysis!!!!

[Lulu]

This really isn't the right place to talk about Social Workers but I have to tell you my experience last week.

Aahhhh that was a good day.   

OMG!! Sooooo funny rerun. 

[mrhecht]

I hate that I'm the youngest one at my unit (I'm 21). Any time someone new visits a patient or there's a new patient, they stare at me through my entire treatment like they can't believe I'm there. It's really weird when people my age come to visit their grandparent on dialysis, because they really stare. I hate it. It makes me feel like some sort of animal in a zoo. Maybe I should start charging admission. 

I'm sorry that you are feeling their stares. I wasn't as young as you are when I started, (29) but I experienced similar situations. It may be hard to do at first, but you will be more comfortable in the long run if you just look them square in the eye and say hello. They'll either respond and stop staring or they'll look away and stop staring. I believe its born out of a combination of empathy and a kind of fear, because when they see someone closer to their age, the realization that it could be them is apparent.

And then there are just those without manners that are curious and wonder why you're there.

There were the occasional "bad" days where I was grumpy and told them if they had a camera.....well, you get the idea.

[angela515]

I didn't mind the stares.. If I found someone staring I was like "Do you have a question?" Which they would immediately apologize but then ask all sorts of questions as to why I am there when I look so young. I started when I was 20... I remember when I first started chemotherapy (cytoxan) treatments, I was like 14 maybe 15, I forget exactly what year... people are curious as to why young people are going through so much.

[okarol]

I hate that I'm the youngest one at my unit (I'm 21). Any time someone new visits a patient or there's a new patient, they stare at me through my entire treatment like they can't believe I'm there. It's really weird when people my age come to visit their grandparent on dialysis, because they really stare. I hate it. It makes me feel like some sort of animal in a zoo. Maybe I should start charging admission. 

Jenna was 18 when she began dialysis and everyone stared at her. I felt like making a sign for her chair that said, "Yes, I am as young as you think I am and Yes, I am on dialysis. Now move along!"

[karen547]

okarol= yea thats EXACTLY how I feel at times when ppl stare- I just smile and think yes you're not seeing things!!

[highlite36]

People used to stare at me all the time when I first started dialysis....   I was 20 when I started dialysis....and then again when I lost my transplant at 23......  I used to tell everyone that my "job" at dialysis was to be the pretty, young, sexual fantasy that social security required all clinics to have.....  It's not my fault that I'm so pretty with tubes hanging out all over my body!!!!!   :-P Some thought I was a weirdo for saying that....but it did bring a smile to some of the people there........and a smile is such a beautiful thing to see on these peoples' faced when they're down and out......  I don't dialyze there anymore....but I do volunteer at the clinic....and it's a line that always guarantees a smile....  :-)

[RichardMEL]

lol!! that's so funny hilite36 ! I love it... hmm I should try something along those lines sometime....

really good stuff!

[angela515]

okarol= yea thats EXACTLY how I feel at times when ppl stare- I just smile and think yes you're not seeing things!!

How old are you?

[kitkatz]

I just pretend I am the Walmart greeter, since I sit in the front of the unit. Hello. Welcome to Fresenius.  That is if I can say Fresenius while I am on dialysis.

[George Jung]

How old are you?

22