considering giving up dialysis treatment

[Rerun]

The answer is "Presumed Consent".  That is where you are "Presumed" a donor unless there is proof elsewhere or someone steps up and says "he/she did not want to be a donor."  I think people would just rather have it "done" and not talked about. 

It may never happen, but if it did, the list would disappear.

[livecam]

Hepzibah...your life isn't over.  Start working on getting yourself a new kidney.  You can get your life back with a good transplant.  Dialysis sucks bigtime but there is another option, the one that will make the badness go away.  If I lived in England I could tell you more but my experience is here in the U.S. Ask your doctors how to go about it there.  You have a healthy young wife...there may be a kidney already available to you.  Don't wait on this, get the ball rolling.

[angieskidney]

The answer is "Presumed Consent".  That is where you are "Presumed" a donor unless there is proof elsewhere or someone steps up and says "he/she did not want to be a donor."  I think people would just rather have it "done" and not talked about. 

It may never happen, but if it did, the list would disappear.

They were going over that in my Canadian Province but then the bill was voted against and didn't go through I thought that would have been GREAT because here .. you only do it when it is time to do your drivers license or your health card (O.H.I.P.) but people are too lazy or too scared.

[BigSky]

The answer is "Presumed Consent".  That is where you are "Presumed" a donor unless there is proof elsewhere or someone steps up and says "he/she did not want to be a donor."  I think people would just rather have it "done" and not talked about. 

It may never happen, but if it did, the list would disappear.

IMO I believe that is the answer also.  I think most people are willing to donate but lack of a better term they are just lazy about it.  They just do not find the time to sign a donor card or inform others of their wishes.  Seems something like this is one of the very last things most have time to do with the pace of society today.

[hephziba]

Some people avoid becoming donors as they have seen the way the dead are treated when there body parts are donated. my wifes dad used to work in theatre and had first hand experiance of how badly and without respect bodies of the donors were treated while the organs were removed. I would definatley be on the donor list if It wasn't for the fact my organs are faulty.

[Hawkeye]

I think most people aren't donors because they think that if they get in to a major accident they wont be saved they will be chopped up instead.  I have heard that basic excuse from people many times.

[angieskidney]

What are the top ten myths regarding organ donation?

Myth: My body will be mutilated when my organs are harvested.
Fact: Donated organs are removed surgically, in a routine operation similar to gallbladder or appendix
removal. Normal funeral arrangements are possible.

Myth: My family would be expected to pay for donating my organs.
Fact: A donor's family is not charged for donation. If a family believes it has been billed incorrectly,
the family immediately should contact its local organ procurement organization.

Myth: I might want to donate one organ, but I do not want to donate everything.
Fact: You may specify what organs you want donated. Your wishes will be followed.

Myth: If I am in an accident and the hospital knows that I want to be a donor, the doctors will
not try to save my life.
Fact: The medical team treating you is separate from the transplant team. HOPE  is not notified until all lifesaving efforts have failed and death has been
determined. HOPE does not notify the transplant team until your family has consented to
donation.

Myth: I am not the right age for donation.
Fact: Organs may be donated from someone as young as a newborn. Age limits for organ donation
no longer exist; however, the general age limit for tissue donation is 70.

Myth: If I donate, I would worry that the recipient and/or the recipient's family would discover
my identity and cause more grief for my family.
Fact: Information about the donor is released by HOPE to the recipients only if the family that
donated requests that it be provided.

Myth: My religion does not support donation.
Fact: All organized religions support donation, typically considering it a generous act that is the
individual's choice.

Myth: Only heart, liver and kidneys can be transplanted.
Fact: The pancreas, lungs, small and large intestines, and the stomach also can be transplanted.

Myth: Wealthy people are the only people who receive transplants.
Fact: Anyone requiring a transplant is eligible for one. Arrangements can be made with the transplant
hospital for individuals requiring financial assistance.

Myth: I have a history of medical illness. You would not want my organs or tissues.
Fact: At the time of death, HOPE (Human Organ Procurement and Exchange program) will review medical and social histories to determine donor
suitability on a case-by-case basis.

[kitkatz]

I got to thinking about the title to this thread.  
You know I would give up dialysis in a heartbeat if I knew my family would be okay without me.
If I knew my husband could pay the bills and live a happy life without me I would let go and move on.  If I knew my girls could make it on their own I would let it all go.
If I knew I was DONE with everything I had to learn here on the plane of existence and would not be penalized in my next life for leaving early, I would let go.
If the angels came down here and told me it was okay to go, I would let it all go in a second.
I know that one day I will have had enough and I WILL let it all go.
I will make that choice when the time comes. I know I will.

[Padster]

You nasty p*cker, Epoman. What gives you the right to think you can speak to someone like that? Just because you run this website doesn't mean you can speak to people as if they are something you just stepped in. I think this person requires support, not condemnation.

And by the way, Rerun, there is no 'plan'. I don't buy into this idea that God lets people suffer for his sake. It is nonsense. Surely, God is NOT like that. My dad wouldn't allow me to suffer because of some 'plan' so I don't think God would either.

(...apologies to all atheists for discussing religion but I didn't bring it up)

[kitkatz]

Umm...Padster...This issue was resolved months ago.  Goofynina is one of our Moderators now.  I think Epoman did a good job of getting her to stay on the site.  She is great moderator.  An apology is due from you I think.

[Bajanne]

Padster, though this website is about frank speech, one of the things forbidden here is profanity, especially when it is personally directed.  You have offended me personally with your filthy language.  And we have at least one 9 year old who posts here.  If you feel so strongly about the administrator and owner of this website, the way is clear.  Just leave and you would never have to deal with him.  For one who claims to know the Lord, that outburst is shocking.

I don't understand why people would stick around a place that offends them.

[goofynina]

*gulp*  Bajanne has spoken 

[angieskidney]

I don't understand why people would stick around a place that offends them.

Probably because the pros outway the cons.

[sandman]

I am truly sorry if I am out of place here but I have something I must say.

Since when does a thread like this one, where a fellow patient is so distraught, that he was considering suicide and was obviously coming here looking for compassion and guidance, turn in to a free for all flame war amongst this forums other patients?  Epoman brought up a very good point where as Hephziba may have very well been thinking selfishly thinking about letting himself die and not considering any repercussions of his actions and I commend those of you that tried to make him think it over.   But some of you appear to be more selfish then him with the arguments amongst yourselves.  Have some of you completely lost sight of what the thread was all about?  A fellow patient came to IHD ( of all places ) in dire straits, asking for your help at a very critical point of his life and this is how you end up treating him?  And some of you dare to call yourselves Christians?  I am ashamed. 

I am truly sorry if I have offended anyone with this post.  I just couldn't stand to sit idly by and watch this mockery continue any longer.

[Rerun]

You nasty p*cker, Epoman. What gives you the right to think you can speak to someone like that? Just because you run this website doesn't mean you can speak to people as if they are something you just stepped in. I think this person requires support, not condemnation.

And by the way, Rerun, there is no 'plan'. I don't buy into this idea that God lets people suffer for his sake. It is nonsense. Surely, God is NOT like that. My dad wouldn't allow me to suffer because of some 'plan' so I don't think God would either.

(...apologies to all atheists for discussing religion but I didn't bring it up)

I don't even know what you are taking about since you didn't "quote" anyone, but hey have your day buddy.   
God does have a "plan" for your life.  You don't have to believe me.  We all have our opinions, but to salm Epoman for his opinion?!  WTF's with that?

[Epoman]

You nasty p*cker, Epoman. What gives you the right to think you can speak to someone like that? Just because you run this website doesn't mean you can speak to people as if they are something you just stepped in. I think this person requires support, not condemnation.

And by the way, Rerun, there is no 'plan'. I don't buy into this idea that God lets people suffer for his sake. It is nonsense. Surely, God is NOT like that. My dad wouldn't allow me to suffer because of some 'plan' so I don't think God would either.

(...apologies to all atheists for discussing religion but I didn't bring it up)

Padster, you have 48 hours for a public apology TO ME!, not because you spoke your mind but because you used profanity toward a member and that is NOT allowed. Especially to a member of the admin team (myself) who runs this site and puts in many hours a day for YOUR benefit. If you do not you will be BANNED, bottom line. Any member who defends Padsters actions will be given a 2 week vacation (temp-ban) themselves. No if ands or buts, I AM DEAD SERIOUS, I don't care who the member is, Padster crossed the line. END OF STORY. Do NOT test me!

- Epoman
Owner/Admin

(I will be sending this post to Padsters email address and via PM, to make sure he receives it.)

By the way "MEMBERS" what the HELL is he talking about. Which post made me a "NASTY p*ckER"?

Also for your information members, any member who uses profanity directed to YOU personally, PM me or a MOD as soon as possible. So the situation may be resolved. It just takes one member to start, then others will think it's OK to call each other names and that WILL NOT be tolerated.

[angieskidney]

Wow this thread has definitely changed since I went to sleep ... 

Padster, just because you don't feel like God exist because you suffer does not mean God exists, but that is just how I feel. God never promised an easy time. You obviously feel a lot of pain. I don't want to turn this into a religious debate as there is a thread for that. So don't answer on this. But realize this is a place to speak the truth and express feelings about what you are going through even if others feelings don't agree. You can't make everyone happy (I have learned that long ago) and if others feel differently it should not bring out anger. Just appreciate how different others are. As for every positive thing you have said being met with negativity, a lot of people are still getting adjusted to their dialysis life and can't be as positive as you. But they shouldn't have to hold back as this site is for truth not necessarily encouragement. (Am I right? Correct me if I am wrong) .. but I would rather have truth any day as people are always shielding me from the truth and then I get hurt.

And Epoman, I think he was referring to this post.


Edit: Oh cool I just noticed the discussion Sandman has started just has branched off to a new section here I have taken out what I said about suicide here and pasted it there instead

[Panda_9]

I think there are so many factors involved in a persons decision to give up dialysis. I agree that it could be veiwed as suicide in some cases, but it depends on why that person has chosen to stop treatment. Anyone on dialysis could have suicidal tendancies, and giving up dialysis for no apparent reason could be classed as suicide, as it is a way of letting yourself die. I think most people who choose to give it up probably have a good excuse, every case is different. Things come up that we think there is no way we could deal with it, and giving up dialysis seems to be the easy way out of it. Its a bloody tough thing to go through, and I would say most people at one point have wanted to give up, but its our will for living that keeps us going.

[Padster]

OK I apologise unreservedly for the use of the F word. I don't like swearing usually because it shows a lack of vocabulary skills, but it really annoyed me what Epoman said at the top of this post and I still stand by the rest of my comments. Epoman was being very nasty in my opinion.

Trust me Rerun. There is no grand plan. God is not like that. He does not require human suffering for his own ends. The only thing I do believe God imposes is the date we cash in our chips. All the rest is about learning. Earth is a giant classroom. Sadly, people with mortal bodies get ill. It isn't pre-planned.

[Rerun]

Padister, I agree, God does not require suffering, but he does allow it.  AND we do "learn" from it do we not??   

[Epoman]

OK I apologise unreservedly for the use of the F word. I don't like swearing usually because it shows a lack of vocabulary skills, but it really annoyed me what Epoman said at the top of this post and I still stand by the rest of my comments. Epoman was being very nasty in my opinion.

Trust me Rerun. There is no grand plan. God is not like that. He does not require human suffering for his own ends. The only thing I do believe God imposes is the date we cash in our chips. All the rest is about learning. Earth is a giant classroom. Sadly, people with mortal bodies get ill. It isn't pre-planned.

Padster, I believe you are talking about this post of mine (see quote below) talking to "hephziba" a few months ago. In which he already replied and seems like he understood I was just giving him "tough love" you stand by your comments and I too stand by my comments 100% I meant every word I said to him, if you can't understand what I was trying to accomplish with those harsh words, then I can't help you. He was newly married less than a year, and on CAPD about a year, not even hemo, so I told him how selfish he was being to his new wife. Plus I had shared my experience with him and told him how having a child gave me a will to live. As he put it in his own words "I gave him a slap in the face" and I would do it again. If he was single and had been on dialysis for years and had a lot of complications then, whatever he wanted to do I would support him, but he is too young, newly married, and new to dialysis to give up now.

But now getting back to YOU, I will accept that half-assed apology, I say that because you apologized to using profanity instead of apologizing to me directly, I will let that slide this time because it is your right to think I was being "very nasty" that is your opinion, and what I said was the TRUTH! And I was trying my best to knock some sense back into him. Because I know what can be accomplished in life even living hooked to a machine.

This is your one and only warning Padster. This goes to ALL members, this site will NOT allow verbal abuse of one member to another, especially a member of the admin team If you think being a mod or admin is easy you are quite mistaken. You want to have debates and "flame" wars that is fine, but be respectful of each other. Want to use a "curse" word now and then? that too is fine but keep it civil.

- Epoman
Owner/Admin

YOU WANT MY INPUT? YOU GOT IT!  sorry to say this and it might piss you off, but here is a qoute from you when you introduced yourself:

I have been on dialysis for almost a year now, I am 25 years old and I was rushed into Hospital just in time for my first wedding aniversary

So not only are you a coward but you're selfish    You have been on almost a year!  WTF??? PLUS you have a new spouse?    I hope this is a joke because you have not earned the right to want to give up (yet). Your only 25, I was 21, (now 33) I too thought my life was over but never did I ever consider stopping dialysis. Not for myself but for my to new bride (married LESS than a year, now going on 13+ years). Don't you think your spouse loves you and will miss you? what about your family? Friends? Yeah dialysis sucks donkey balls, but be strong and take what life gives you. You never know what life has instore for you. I'm talking to you like this to get you MAD, and want to fight. Don't lose your will. You know what you need? you need a child, a child CHANGED my life, I live for my son, in fact I live through my son. He is my top priority and my "Will" to live.

IF you ALREADY have a child then you really are a selfish person and you REALLY suck HARD, so please stop dialysis NOW!    LOSER!

If not, STOP feeling sorry for yourself and get your shit in order and hold on because it's going to be a long hard road ahead, but along the way you will have some good times. 
 

But getting back to your post, If you tell your doctors you wish to stop dialysis, they legally have to leave you alone, dialysis is a treatment option, NOT a life requirement. You will live maybe 2-3 weeks and eventually the toxins will cause you to go into a coma and you will die. Some say it's a peaceful way to go but I don't buy that. I feel like shit sometimes by Monday with no dialysis over the weekend, I can only imagine after 2 weeks.

So I hope you don't get mad at me for this post, I just want you to LIVE! You have so much to look forward to, you just don't know it yet.

- Epoman
Owner/Admin

[sandman]

it really annoyed me what Epoman said at the top of this post and I still stand by the rest of my comments. Epoman was being very nasty in my opinion.

Padster, are you referring to this post?  I would have to agree that Epoman was a bit harsh but his intentions were sound and I will not question them.  That my friend is what is know as tough love.  And contrary to popular belief, it DOES work.

@ Rerun.  I didn't want to point fingers at anyone in particular.  I feel that this is not that time or place to do so.  Besides, taking in a full read of every post in this thread with a clear and objective mind, will show where this thread went off course.

@ Hephzibe, don't ever give up your fight man.  I realize that sometimes, things in your life will go wrong but no matter how bad things seem to get, just remember that there is always someone out there that does love you and will miss you when your gone.  Never forget that as it may be your saving grace.

[Panda_9]

How about everyone stop the bitch fighting and get back to the original topic

[Hephs-little-lady]

And just so you all know, that 'tough love slap in the face' achieved it's purpose. Heph was  just having a rough time during the transition from hemo to CAPD and it was a nightmare.

We all have bad days right! 

Sometimes we all need a good hard slap in the face to bring us back to reality and I don't think Heph was at all offended that Epoman took the hard line. 

I appreciated it too. 

[Epoman]

And just so you all know, that 'tough love slap in the face' achieved it's purpose. Heph was  just having a rough time during the transition from hemo to CAPD and it was a nightmare.

We all have bad days right! 

Sometimes we all need a good hard slap in the face to bring us back to reality and I don't think Heph was at all offended that Epoman took the hard line. 

I appreciated it too. 

Thank you very much!  I am glad you saw what I was trying to do.  Sometimes we all need a "slap in the face". See Padster they understood, and so did everyone else, why couldn't you see what I learned in "Psych 102"