Should I get involved

[Deanne]

I don't post much, but I have to say.... I really hope I sit next to one of you when I have to start dialysis!!!! You're all awesome!

[paris]

Keefer, what a hero you are to that man!  It is so easy to keep to ourselves and not reach out.  Thankfully for him, you reached out and helped. 

[Romona]

A story like Keefers shows you can make a difference.

[boxman55]

Well Stuart I think is heading south. Last Friday he showed up but then decided to leave right away. He was here today I said hi but he was waiting to leave again. I asked the nurse and she said we are trying everything to get him to stay but he left again with out going on. Man that is 5 days straight without dialysis on top of all the short days before that...
Boxman

[angela515]

Least you tried.

Sounds like he didn't want to do dialysis to begin with, but also didn't want to just quit..  I pray he has a painless end.

[Black]

Well Stuart I think is heading south. Last Friday he showed up but then decided to leave right away. He was here today I said hi but he was waiting to leave again. I asked the nurse and she said we are trying everything to get him to stay but he left again with out going on. Man that is 5 days straight without dialysis on top of all the short days before that...
Boxman

At least you tried; you have a kind heart.   

Has the SW not tried to talk to him or anyone in his family?  It's not fair to you that you are trying to do their job.

Let's pray that he still has some residual function which will hold him until he comes to terms with dialysis.

[lola]

Boxman at least you tried but he's made up his mind. K-man you are so awsome and I love you and miss you in chat!!!!!

[boxman55]

Well Stuart is still up to his leaving early. He now says hi to me by name though. I learned that his speech problem was caused by a stroke he had awhile back. When he was trying to leave early again Monday, the nurse asked him if he wanted to die, Stuart didn't answer right at first, she then said "yes-no- maybe" Stuarts answer finally was "maybe" Sitting next to him and watching and listening to him create a scene until they take him off early every time is driving me nuts. Honestly I don't know how he lasts with hardly a hour or so of dialysis each time...Boxman

[MyssAnne]

It makes you wonder if the stroke caused damage to his facility to reason and to think as wel. SURELY he has a caregiver? There is NO way he could be living on hs own!!  Boxman, and Keefer, I give you guys kudos for reaching out. Good for you guys.

[angela515]

It makes you wonder if the stroke caused damage to his facility to reason and to think as wel.

Doesn't make me wonder one bit.... I can totally understand someone not wanting to do dialysis at all, or anymore... I just dont get why bother coming in for an hour to just leave... makes me think he's truly unsure, and hence why he said "maybe", as he don't know for sure yet, which is why he comes and does at least some of the session.

[kellyt]

I totally agree with Angela.   Why does he go through all the trouble to go and then just leave? Maybe he's being sent there by a higher power  and you're supposed to intervein.       Give him the flier - lay your hand on his shoulder - hopefully he'll respond.  Good Luck!   

[boxman55]

Today they hooked him up at 1:10pm (I overheard the nurse say they needed to remove 4.2 kilos) and he was trying to stand up and leave by 2:00pm Both me and another patient, Kristine who sits on the other side of Stuart tried to convince him to stay longer but, he does not listen to anybody. He even tries to stand while his cath is still hooked to the machine. He is very determined when he wants to leave....Boxman

PS There is a social worker that sits with him while he has dialysis but, she can't get him to stay either, she just makes sure he gets on the right transport bus.

[goofynina]

I dont get it, why do they allow him to continue to come in?  I am sure there is someone who wants or needs that chair and is serious enough about their lives that they would take advantage of the 3 or 4 hours they can dialyze.  It is obvious that he does not and i think they should give him a wake up call and tell him that with no treatment he will be dead in so long and if that they are considering dropping him for being so non compliant,  (to me THAT is what noncompliant is) sheeesh   

[Sluff]

Just let him kill himself.   no (JK) I would talk to him once and try to explain to him he is upsetting others. If he gets crappy with you than ask him why he comes at all. If he still gets crappy then just let him kill himself. But then again thats just lil ole me Mr Insensitive.

[boxman55]

Stuart was gone by 2pm again today.  (one hour on the machine) I found out from a tech today that for some reason he didn't know why, the Doctor reduced some meds Stuart was taking to keep him more or less sedated so he wouldn't get so nervous and want to leave early. I also found out that they crank the machine up to get as much fluid off of him in a hours time knowing that he will want to leave early. That doesn't seem like the right approach but who am I to diagnose...Boxman

[paris]

I feel sad for Stuart.  One day he just won't be there anymore and you, Boxman, may be the only one who cares.  What a kind person you are.

[Sluff]

Stuart was gone by 2pm again today.  (one hour on the machine) I found out from a tech today that for some reason he didn't know why, the Doctor reduced some meds Stuart was taking to keep him more or less sedated so he wouldn't get so nervous and want to leave early. I also found out that they crank the machine up to get as much fluid off of him in a hours time knowing that he will want to leave early. That doesn't seem like the right approach but who am I to diagnose...Boxman

I'm surprised they gave you that information but a little relieved that they are taking somewhat corrective action to deal with this individual.

[boxman55]

I wanted to update on Stuart today (Monday) but, I was told by a tech that he came in, they started soaking his cath and before they could hook him up, he wanted to go and did. Never saw  him today. Retaining fluid all weekend and then no treatment on Monday man I don't know how he can do it...Boxman

[paddbear0000]

I would think that with all those toxins building up, his mind isn't quite right (more so than before). I'd be prepared not to see him much, if at all, anymore!   

[okarol]

Any update on Stuart?

[boxman55]

Yes as a matter of fact, I found out that Stuart's caregiver is his brother and I was told that he is forcing Stuart to go to dialysis. Stuart has said a few times that he doesn't want to be there. Both Friday the 23rd and Monday (yesterday) he was in his chair for just over a hour and then started acting up, I have been told that he has come close to pulling his cath out (once or twice) while he is trying to get out of his chair. Now me only sitting 5' from him with just a half wall between us, that could get a little messy. He looks the same but he was coughing a lot yesterday. Like I said before because they run him as fast as they can while he is on they still can not get all his blood clean or all his fluid removed. It will catch up to him soon I've been told. All the techs (at least the ones I have talked too) have opinions and concerns...Boxman

[Wattle]

  Boxman I am sorry you are on the same shift as Stuart. It seems as if everyone has tried to help but he just doesn't want to help himself. We all know dialysis is not for sissies (thanks to KT0930 hubby) and we all have to take responsibility for our treatment. It will catch up with him and I really hope he is not sitting next to you when it does. I realize he has problems but I think he is incredibly selfish to put the rest of the clinic through his drama. Maybe he needs to be admitted to hospital to be properly assessed mentally and have some descent dialysis. He may then feel a little better and be more able to think clearly.

You have done what you can and what ever the outcome, you will always know you tried to help him.   

[Lori1851]

Boxman,
Maybe a nice magazine handed to this guy may give him something to due. LOL Not a dirty one either lol lol just kidding.
Anyways, you are at doing your part by acknowledging him.

Lori/Indiana mom to Dustin 22 fsgs/dialysis

[boxman55]

Thanks for your thoughts Wattle and Lori, I'd like to knock him out then at least he would sleep through his treatment...Boxman

[Lori1851]

Boxman,
Sounds like Sturat needs an antidepressant did wonders for my son. Poor guy. I will pray for him. I pray for all of you's anyways Hey whats one more! God knows I need it!
Lori/Indiana