Should I get involved

[boxman55]

I changed my run times to the afternoon starting at 1:30 till 5:00 I have been doing this know 5x There is a guy will call him Stuart who shows up at the same time I do and sits right on the other side of my curtain. After about an hour and no more then two hours (all 5x), Stuart starts calling for the nurse to take him off. He is very demanding and doesn't listen to the nurses trying to explain to him, well that if he keeps doing this he is going to die a slow death. He doesn't seem to care and if they don't immediately start taking him off he will try and stand up and cause all kinds of problems for them. So I am thinking maybe I should start talking to him to try and keep him from being bored and maybe stop him from leaving early or should I just let him kill himself....Any suggestions?   Boxman

[Sluff]

Just let him kill himself.   no (JK) I would talk to him once and try to explain to him he is upsetting others. If he gets crappy with you than ask him why he comes at all. If he still gets crappy then just let him kill himself. But then again thats just lil ole me Mr Insensitive.

[Romona]

You never know if you could could impact his life. Or you might drive him over the edge! I think it is worth a try.

[paris]

He may be very scared or alone--everyone has a story and you may make a difference in his storyline.

[jbeany]

I had a woman doing the same thing next to me - it was an anxiety disorder.  She'd start to panic after being in the chair for too long.  Her doc gave her some nice happy pills, and she stopped the screaming and hollering.

[goofynina]

That is a hard situation to be in Boxman but i agree with the others (not Sluff though)    lol,  I say to at least try and talk to him, see if maybe he has a way of getting to a pc and invite him to this awesome website we have here   Remind him he is not alone, i know i felt like i was alone for a long time (before i found this awesome site)  No one could or would understand what i was going through, what i was feeling and it was pointless to try and explain to them cuz 9 times out of 10, they didnt care anyways, or if they did care, it all just confused the hell out of them (i am so good at confusing people)    Good luck to you and Please keep us posted as to how or what you plan on doing.   

[angela515]

If it were me... I would give it a try... worst that can happen is he don't listen, and dies his slow death... but you know in your heart you tried. 

[jblamb]

I would try to talk to him at the early stage of his run so he might be more receptive. I wouldn't tell him he is annoying anyone but I would tell him about this site. I would also share whatever positives you have with him about treatment. Find out if he has a portable dvd player to pass the time better. Good luck.

[glitter]

there is a fellow who sits near my husband who comes in-goes to sleep for an hour or so- and when he wakes up, he demands they let him go every time- he doesn't care what they say to him, he does not want to hear it. He is about four chairs away from my husband so he isn't close enough to talk to- but its sad nonetheless.

[boxman55]

there is a fellow who sits near my husband who comes in-goes to sleep for an hour or so- and when he wakes up, he demands they let him go every time- he doesn't care what they say to him, he does not want to hear it. He is about four chairs away from my husband so he isn't close enough to talk to- but its sad nonetheless.

Sounds like "Stuart" no matter how nice or stern the techs are he won't stand for no when he decides it is time to stop the run. I guess when I see him next I am going to ask why he even bothers coming in...Boxman

[Romona]

Sometimes it is easier to talk about your troubles with a stranger than with close family or friends. Maybe he will open up to you. Maybe he will see you as someone to look up to. I know all of you here have inspired me. No matter how alone I feel, you guys know how I feel. Deep down you worry about this guy and want to help or you wouldn't have started this thread. 

[RichardMEL]

It may help for him to hear from a paitent.. he can't claim you don't know what it's like or anything. It's worth a try - as much for your own conscence as anything else. If he decides to keep going his own way well at some point you just have to let them do whatever they decide to do with their life even if you know it's going to lead to a bad outcome.

good luck.

[boxman55]

Well Stuart was there today I stopped at his chair and introduced myself. Turns out he has a speech problem and barely wanted to say hi. I asked him how he was and all I got was a stare. I felt uncomfortable standing there so I went back to my chair. He did leave early again. Maybe I should write a note...I don't no....Boxman

[goofynina]

Good for you Boxman,  I am sure he went home thinking about  you,  just like you say in your sig line "DAY BY DAY"  keep stopping by and telling him HI and hopefully he will come around.  Hang in there my friend, 

[Sluff]

It's possible no one has the fortitude to attempt to make contact and he was just took by surprise that you did.  He may come around.

[Romona]

Someone once told me, "Look at people through a blind man's eyes". You did a very nice thing by approaching him. I think a note is a great idea. If he doesn't respond, then you tried to help.

I am so guilty of misjudging people as being rude or arrogant, only to find out they have hearing problems. Taking the time to communicate with them by making sure they could see me as I was speaking to them, really paid off.

You are a wonderful person by taking the first step. I hope he takes advantage of your offer of friendship.

[boxman55]

Thanks for the support and kind words. I will continue to make my presence known to him...Boxman

[paddbear0000]

Maybe get him a card--one of those "just saying hi" kind. Write something about how you just wanted to say hi and get to know him better and have someone to vent with. I bet a card would brighten his day.

[glitter]

dont forget to give him the website if your already writing hi!

[paddbear0000]

dont forget to give him the website if your already writing hi!

  my bad...

[okarol]

dont forget to give him the website if your already writing hi!

The "OFFICIAL" IHateDialysis.com flyer. Print out and place at your center! http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=438.0 -- good conversation starter!

[boxman55]

Well I saw him today in the lobby for a couple minutes said hi he returned the greeting then got up and headed in to his chair. He left again after about 2 hours. All the techs say there is no stopping him from leaving and because of his speech problem no talking to him. Maybe a card will see...Boxman

[goofynina]

Hey, well at least you got a greeting back, that is cool right?    I admire what you are doing and why you are doing it Boxman, i think it is awesome that you care enough to be concerned for this man, your awesome my friend     About his speech problem,  is it that he doesn not speak or is it that he cant?  I dont understand that part, but either way, i am sure your kindness is impacting him in some good way, dont give up 

[Bajanne]

I am sorry, but I only just saw this thread.  You are doing a good job.  Just letting him know that there is someone who is caring enough to say Hi is going to work on him.  We are with you in this.  Looking forward to hearing how it is going.
Aren't there any family members there?  Do you know how he leaves (transport)?

[keefer51]

Boxman55, I know how you feel. At my center there is a man who was on his way out. You see i try and go to the center with a positive attitude and a smile on my face. If you are in my center on dialysis you either say; "Hey there's Keefer!" or you may say; Great, There is #*@! This one guy would say the latter. One day i got the courage and went to his chair after i was done. He looked at me and i could see the emptiness in his life. He told me about his wife leaving him etc... He told me he didn't care anymore and was going to put on as much fluid as he wanted to. He then told me that just the other night he was in his bathtub with a gun to his head. I sat down beside him and just let him talk man to man. I saw him fight the tears he cried many times. After awhile i did make him laugh. He is still with us. He is trying hard to control his fluid intake. So i think you should approach this man and talk about something he is interested in. Then maybe tell him of the importance of staying for the whole treatment.