I swear, they know a person has bad veins and they put you through hell and Then and only Then will they do a graft. A graft is like a fistula only it is not your vein but a gortex (or something) tube. I have a loop graft in my right lower arm. It works great. Make sure if you get a "loop graft" you ask if you are a red thumb or a blue thumb. It will be important so they don't run you backwards.
A catheter is not that bad and if you have to use it until the graft can be used then so be it. You will feel better and the anticapitation will be over for you. It will be okay. Plus with a catheter there are no needles so you can get acquainted with dialysis first needles later.
Try and get some sleep tonight.