Just Annoyed....

[Leanne]

Well up until a few weeks ago I was the youngest patient at our center, and I am forty one.  Most of the patients there are elderly.  But, a few weeks ago there were two new guys both in their thirties.  I had no idea why they ended up there and had no chance to speak to them really or even to get to know either of them.  Yesterday I was in the lobby waiting for my chair to be open and one of them came in with his girlfriend.  They were just talking and it came up about how he ended up with kidney failure.  It was a drug overdose.  I have no wish for any person to be where we are, for ANY reason.  But what got on my nerves was how he was acting about the whole thing.  Like it was one big funny joke.  Laughing about how fried he was that night and how he doesn't remember crap until the next day.  And how he was shocked that it fried his kidneys like that.  He just thinks its one big funny joke and is still drinking and partying away. 

Then to make it all worse later while we were having our treatment he whines to the RN about how he was out of pain meds and was dying and suffering and couldn't stand it.  Wanting her to give him something for the pain.  She explained that they don't have drugs like that at the center.  My husband had noticed him outside carrying his cane and walking fine and stuff and when he came inside he was limping and leaning on his cane.  Anyhow he just kept moaning and groaning about how he was in so much pain and couldn't stand it etc.  The RN offered to call his neph and when she did the doctor told her that he had referred him to a pain clinic.  I only heard this because he was sitting next to me whining to the top of his lungs.  I have the same doctor that he has and the doc is fantastic. Very caring and compassionate.  He has always helped me and many others when they need it.  He only sends some people to the pain clinincs.  Usually known drug abusers. 

Once the guy saw that he couldnt get drugs at the center he finally just shut up like magic.  Imagine that.  What tics me off about it all is how it was a big joke to him ending up there to begin with and then he doesn't seem to have learned his lesson about abusing pain meds either.  So many of us didn't do anything to cause ourselves to be there and I'm sure that most of us would give almost anything to not have to be.  Just wish we could get a miracle and he just blows everything off like it's no big deal.  To top it off he asked me when I overdosed?  I told him I didn't overdose and he said...... "Well why are you even here then?"  I truly was just shocked.  It made me wonder how many others think I am there because of something like drugs.   

They think this guys kidneys could start back.  Well I am happy for him.  I truly am.  But how can he just keep doing what he has been doing like its nothing?  I would think he would be glad that he might have a chance to get off dialysis and realize that he is getting a second chance. Maybe it makes me sound mean, but I don't think I can stand sitting next to him every day whining about his pain.  Everyone in that room has pain and has been through more than he can realize and truthfully I just don't want to hear that crap from him.  And the other young guy?  Drug overdose as well.  OK rant is over I guess.  Just made me aggravated .

[deniferfer]

You have every right to feel annoyed!! I know kinda how you feel.  Thou I'm on PD, I have been told I'm the youngest person they have and I'm 31. Now i did nothing to make my kidneys go bad either . If anything I'm the overly good girl. I have never done anything wild or crazy my whole life. So it makes me so mad to see dumb  like that who have done this to themselves and continue to act and do the things that caused it. Also cuz of people like that I get the massive lists of question from like hospitals wonder why my kidneys failed when I'm so young. When i was younger they even asked my parents to leave the room and ask me again is there anything you want to tell us you don't want your parents to know? I told yes don't tell them I'm on D...I know they wanted me to tell them I had been do drugs or something like that. Is it so hard to believe my kidneys are just too small??

You are a bit nice about the whole thing then me. I guess it is great if they can get his kidneys working on their own again. But he is just going to do it again. Why should he be so lucky. you know? I then see other that have done things like drugs, abused alcohol or had unprotected sex and wonder why is it me that got CKD?

[cassandra]

I do understand, and completely agree. I'm old now (47 at last count) but started this nonsense at 17, and was the youngest for ages. Not my fault, just a medical mistake by overpaid people in white coats, who are still living a 'normal' life. I was fuming then, and still fuming now. I'm sure its the adrenaline that kept me alive. Difficult to live with probably, but still here. So its okay to be annoyed I'd say.

love Cas

[MooseMom]

If these guys are already in their thirties and are still abusing drugs to the point where their kidneys failed, you can bet that this won't be the last time they'll be hooked up to a dialysis machine.  If they think it's all a big joke, chances are they are not going to change their habits and will end up with fried kidneys that will stay well and truly burned up.

I didn't do anything to cause my fsgs, but most of us have bad things happen to us for reasons that have no basis in logic.  But I can certainly understand the frustration you feel toward someone like these guys.  I'm flabbergasted that this moron would ask you when you overdosed.  Flabbergasted, but not in the least bit surprised.

[malaka]

I can't imagine being involuntarily cast in some bad remake of a Cheech and Chong movie filmed at the dialysis clinic! 

Buy yourself a Kindle or like product. You can always pretend to be reading it even if you're not. 

At least I was 59 when I started dialysis.  Nobody really seemed to care why I was there.  Problem is, the docs don't know what caused my kidneys to fail.  Two biopsies and no answers.   

The disturbance at my clinic is in a way even more disturbing.  One of our patients was recently featured as a customer on "Hard Core Pawn", a cable TV show highlighting every bad stereotype about Detroit.  I almost needed pills to mend my stopped heart when she told us that this "reality" show is FAKED!!!  What's next?  TV wrestlling is faked?  Big Brother is scripted, too?  Oh, the horror!  If you've ever seen Hard Core Pawn, you'll know what I'm talking about.

[Leanne]

deniferfer....Wow I totally understand you so much.  I have always been the good girl too.  Never been a drunk or a druggie.  Actually I took care of them on the ambulance for years.  Because kidney issues run in my family I have always been careful about things.  Yet I still end up one of the youngest in my family to be on dialysis.  My guy still does squad work and druggies is alll that seems to call emergency anymore.  He gets so aggravated.  They keep doing it over and over and over and yet most of the time their organs are all just fine.  Hunky dory.  He gets upset because he will do his job, save their lives and then they are back on the street hunting another pill almost before he gets done writing the paper work.  He hates it because he says he always seems to fix them yet can't fix me.  I think it just gets frustrating for him because they dont care about their own life or body anymore than that.  And he sees me try so hard just to stick around. 

I have cousins that are addicted to pain killers.  I have shown them all my scars and talked to them about all the things I have been through hoping they will get help and stop.  Sadly, when they see my scars I think they see another opportunity to get pain meds instead of seeing a nightmare if they don't straighten up and do better.  I truly do feel sorry for both of those guys that are at my center now.  But if they won't look around them and realize that they need to stop then I guess they will be there for a while. 

You guys are right.  It probably won't be the last time either of them do something stupid.  Personally I don't see what they think is so wonderful about the pain drugs.  I have had surgeries so sure I have had to use them .   But mostly they make me nauseous and I end up having to have phenergen just to tolerate them so I don't get what they think is so wonderful about them.

@malaska.....I have a Nook tablet...Love it.  Saves my life.  I come here when Im at dialysis and read all the posts and it helps to pass the time. Esp with him whining for drugs so no one can freaking sleep through it.  And I get the thing about the tv show.  I am from West Virginia and every time we are represented on TV in any way its always the "toothless, uneducated, hillbillies". They make us look terrible.

@MM,  I am still reeling from the moron asking when I overdosed.  That''s just a rude thing to ask anyhow, even worse that he assumed I had.  I was so shocked I really didnt say much except that I didn't overdose.  Wasted opportunity to tell him off.  And I do find myself kind of pissed that his kidneys might just restart.  I know it isn't right to feel that way but shoot I wish mine would restart.  I would take thirty or forty percent.  Anything.  He just seems so ungrateful that he could have another chance and he is just throwing it away. 

[jeannea]

You have every right to be annoyed. He has no manners and apparently no morals either. I would feel a tiny bit better that it sounds like your doc knows the truth. I get annoyed that my siblings take it for granted that I won the bad kidney genetic lottery and they are healthy. But at least they couldn't control genetics. I'd be pissed at these guys too. Any chance you could ask to switch chairs? Maybe there's another patient who is kind of deaf and wouldn't care about sitting there.

[Rain]

 I would give that guy a piece of my mind.  I was the youngest at 23 at my clinic when I started, now there are people starting younger at 18 that came from the children's hospital.

I didn't ask for this and what frustrates me is that i couldn't control my ESRD.  I tried everything to control it and in the end i lost the battle.

What frustrated me the most was when I was doing my transplant work up and I met with the social worker for an interview, and she was taking my history, do you drink, have you ever smoked. and she got to the have you done drugs  question and i said "No"  and she kept going back to that question.  I grew up as a good kid, give me a break.  By the end I was so frustrated when I walked out, just because i am young doesn't mean I did drugs.. geez.

[Whamo]

Yesterday I learned one of my old party friends died at 55.  He told me his kidneys were bad the last time I talked to him, about five years ago.  At my center there are lots of baby-boomer drink and druggies with kidney problems.   There are also lots of young people.  I feel sorry for them.  I feel lucky I got in a good 50 years before I started having health problems.

[drgirlfriend]

I'd wanna punch that bozo in the throat, for sure. Unfortunately for him, he will most likely kill himself with drugs before too long and you won't have to listen to his silly ass anymore. Addicts don't make sense. They just do what they do - especially if those around them think it's cute. If he doesn't get some sobriety, we won't be talking about him for long.

[AnnieB]

I agree - if you can avoid sitting near them at least you wouldn't have to listen to their whining.

If these guys get kidney function back, you won't have to listen to them at all, since they'll be gone  . And if they don't get it back, I bet it won't be long before they don't think this is a joke anymore. 

Anne

[amanda100wilson]

dumb a****,that's all I have to say about them.

[jessicalynn42]

Pain is something we all live with. It reminds us that we are alive. I myself feel that pain can be managed without drugs if you really want relief it can be found. All you have to do is try. I myself found that the pool helps relieve a lot of it. Down to what i can handle. Its not easy but your mind can do miracles if you let it and you believe. Pain is your bodys reaction to something wrong. You just have to find what works and never quit looking till you do
Just my 2 cents     

[cariad]

I do understand, and completely agree. I'm old now (47 at last count) but started this nonsense at 17, and was the youngest for ages. Not my fault, just a medical mistake by overpaid people in white coats, who are still living a 'normal' life. I was fuming then, and still fuming now. I'm sure its the adrenaline that kept me alive. Difficult to live with probably, but still here. So its okay to be annoyed I'd say.

love Cas

I aodre this response! Clever and generous words, cas. My kidney failure was in large part down to medical malpractice, too, though there were other factors. Much in common, we two!

Leanne, that person sounds beyond annoying for several reasons. Still, and this is just a general comment to everyone *not* you specifically, I always am bothered by the parade of "I didn't cause my own illness" comments because I really don't think anyone deserves kidney failure or freedom from kidney failure or transplant or dialysis. If you don't fit into the perfect little patient box (I certainly don't) then I reckon it's hard not to feel judged when reading about how everyone else seems to find you so unworthy of good health. Let's not do that ourselves. Please?

I think this man may be using nonchalance and humour as a cover - perhaps his question to you was more forced irreverence, perhaps it was ignorance that there was any other cause of kidney failure but his own, perhaps he really is just that monstrous of a person and was trying to offend you. I'm sorry you had to go through this - dialysis is already hard enough without the irritation of a patient who seems to think it's all about him at your clinic. I hope you're rid of him one way or the other soon.

[Leanne]

@cariad, I have no idea if his humor is used as a cover.  I totally feel sorry for him.  I wish no one had kidney disease, for any reason.  This is such a torturous existence with all the surgeries and needlesticks.  I really don't think people that party alot ever think that this can or will happen to them.  And to lots of people it doesn't , even when they do nutty things.  He only annoyed me because he hasn't stopped what he was doing and thinks it is funny.  I have no issue with people getting meds for pain if they need it.  This guy was talking about lots of pain meds in one sitting though.  I have a cousin that will go through sixty pain pills in one or two days and she has nothing wrong with her except for high blood pressure.

you know, my mother's kidneys failed also and she had diabetes.  But she also took rezulin for her sugar the whole time it was on the market.  AFTER she died my brother and I got a check from the drug company for eighteen hundred dollars.  That was her part in the lawsuit.  The kidney patients got less than the patients with liver failure for some reason.  You guys talking about your kd being caused by medical malpractice etc made me think of that for no particular reason.  I think we just never know what is in store for us in this life.  You get dealt a hand and that's what you have to work with.  Its never fair nor is their any sense to it most of the time.  I used to ask why to myself all the time and I just realized it doesn't even matter because knowing why doesn't change anything.  It is what it is and i just have to do the best I can with what I have been given.  I have said prayers for that little guy in my center, I hope he realizes that this isn't a joke and he takes it more seriously than he has been.  I guess maybe he could just be scared?  People react differently I guess, but I will not be forgetting my MP3 player at home anymore LOL