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Author Topic: brothers are so confusing!~  (Read 2838 times)
gothiclovemonkey
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« on: July 13, 2012, 04:52:22 PM »

im not sure where to even put this, its about esrd and transplant and dialysis...mostly stupid brothers :P

Idk if i should even be bothered by this but....

Recently my brother, who has a severe god complex, and is completely insane, asked me for the info for transplant because he wants to find out if he can give me one...................

First off, when i first got on the list, he had me call them and i handed him the phone and he told them he has High BP.....so obviously couldnt give me one....
Now hes saying he doesnt have High bp (ok i can understand lying because at the time he didnt want to give me one but that potentially screws any chance, id guess, at giving me one)

Now, hes saying he wanted that info, getting my hopes up, and he hasnt said anythign about it since... I know i need to be patient, but when he called me he wanted the number asap like he was going to call then, so i had to stop what i was doing lol

also, im not really sure i want his even if i could, because i know hed continually hold that over me. Thats how he rolls. him and his god complexed self lol
besides, if my aunt found out, shed probably forbid it

he constantly does this, so hot and cold. one min he says how much he wishes he was in my shoes. the next he tells me how he can feel my pain and it makes him sad inside. i dont understand him at all.

So with that said, idk if i should even accept it or not, i mean, i really hate dialysis, and would love to be transplanted and feeling better, but at what cost? would i "owe"  him now? he already thinks hes God, wouldnt that only make this worse? i just dont know what to do.

Im not sure why im even worring about it, the odds of him actually going through with finding out are really slim. My fathers the only person who was willing to be tested, and hes not well enough to donate.
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lmunchkin
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« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2012, 05:34:00 PM »

GLM, given the dynamics of what you just said, I would respectfully decline and move on to other avenues.  Of course, Im not in your situation, but if I were, I believe I would decline his offer!

Too much going on there to feel comfortable excepting, IMHO.  I do hope something comes along for you, as you have been through a whole lot!

God Bless,
lmunchkin :kickstart;
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11/2004 Hubby diag. ESRD, Diabeties, Vascular Disease & High BP
12/2004 to 6/2009 Home PD
6/2009 Peritonitis , PD Cath removed
7/2009 Hemo Dialysis In-Center
2/2010 BKA rt leg & lt foot (all toes) amputated
6/2010 to present.  NxStage at home
cariad
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« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2012, 08:34:43 PM »

Oh, GLM. From what you've written, that boy is not going to be able to pass the psychological screening. I would stop holding out any hope right now to preserve your sanity. Please don't let him string you along like this. If I'm wrong and he does surprise you, then great, I'll apologise to his face if you want, but for now I just want to scream Danger! Danger! Run away!
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jbeany
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« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2012, 09:11:01 PM »

Some free gifts cost too much.  I think I'd just completely drop the subject with him.
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jeannea
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« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2012, 08:27:28 AM »

I'd say pass. It's not worth it. I guess I was luckier than I thought that my brother never offered.
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MooseMom
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« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2012, 09:01:10 AM »

I agree with Cariad.  I don't think he'd pass the psychological screening.  There is a reason that potential living donors are required to speak to the social worker/psychologist.  It is as much for your protection as it is for the protection of the donor.  The potential for emotional blackmail is a real and present danger.
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
gothiclovemonkey
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« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2012, 06:17:40 PM »

im totally not kidding when i say hes insane btw...
its actually quite sad. he seemed sane for the most part, growing up, just the thinking hes King of the world and gods gift to everyone, but now hes lost his mind...

i really dont think id want a kidney from family. i think ill have trouble enough dealing with having a strangers kidney, but someone i know personally? that would just be akward, i think lol
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gothiclovemonkey
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« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2012, 08:02:28 PM »

(good?) bad news. He was denied. Due to high cholesterol and risk of heart disease. No surprise there lol

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"Imagine how important death must be to have a prerequisite such as life" Unknown
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MooseMom
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« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2012, 08:33:08 PM »

Yeah, hard to know whether this is good or bad news.  At least he tried. :cuddle;
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
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« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2012, 11:30:12 PM »

(good?) bad news. He was denied. Due to high cholesterol and risk of heart disease. No surprise there lol

It's always nice to have an offer, the hope is what kept us going.
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
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Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
gothiclovemonkey
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« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2012, 01:08:17 AM »

it was nice. kind of a shock, considering a few years ago hed told me hed rather see me die than give me a kidney... but that was before i even knew i needed one. (i knew eventually it would be a possibility...had no idea i actually would, or had no idea it would be so soon)
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Poppylicious
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« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2012, 03:49:16 AM »

Awww, GLM *huggles* ... I'm glad he went through the beginning stages of offering even if the outcome wasn't a positive one.  Maybe now he'll get his cholesterol sorted, eh?!
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