Is Being Homeless and Staying on PD Possible???

[beachbum]

I have a real dilema. Over the past few months things in my personal life have gone downhill. My PD is still going well, I've been doing it about 6 months, but everything else sucks. My wife and I are not getting along. She cheated on me twice last summer and I'm just at a point I don't trust her. When we fight she tells me to go even though I have nowhere to go. I can't really do anything about it because she makes a lot more money than I do, I only bring in about $750/month from SSI and our rent is $1300 for a 1 bedroom. Even if she left I don't think I could afford this place without a roommate and that might be awkward giving how small the place is.

I have no family that would help. I already ate that slice of humble pie and they flat out told me no. Their reasons are vague, but let me say they aren't good people to begin with. That just isn't an option. At one point I thought about moving back home and camping in the woods near my parents house if they could just store my solution for me and she said no. That's how cold she is.

So my question is if I were homeless what would my options be? I'm not scared to be homeless, I look at it more like an adventure than anything. I had a rough childhood and spent most of my teens being homeless or couchsurfing. But I don't have that freedom now. I'm really scared. I asked my social worker at the PD clinic and she knows nothing. All she tells me to do is go to the ER. I know of people that are truck drivers that get their PD solution somehow. How is it possible to do this while on the road?

[Rerun]

If you file for divorce she would have to pay you because she makes most of the money.  Then you could stay there.  If your city/town has a Union Gospel Mission they would take you in.

[beachbum]

I tried to tell her that because i depend on her but she just laughed at me. We don't have kids, (thank God,) but it should be a simple divorce. Even when I was healthy and not on D I found shelters to be very difficult. They have long waiting lists and they don't bend the rules much. I can't see them letting me store 35 boxes of solution when most guys aren't allowed to store a backpack. Most shelters aren't setup to help people with serious medical needs. And it's sad but most shelters really aren't in it to help people. They are only worried about body count so they can keep bringing in donations. Most of that money goes into rich people's pockets. Homeless shelters are charities are a big business.

I thought they might have emerceny shelters like a motel voucher for people like me but so far I'm not finding that. I could make her move out and somehow try to pull the other $650 together.

[noahvale]

^

[SugarBear]

Sorry for your troubles beachbum.  When I was doing nocturnal home hemo, I was told that if my living situation became unstable I would have to return to in-center.  The facility will not take a chance with your health, especially not having a sterile, secure environment to do treatments. 

Personally, I would go back to in-center till things got settled.  It is too risky with infections and complications to do any treatments while homeless.

Be Well   

[beachbum]

Sorry for your troubles beachbum.  When I was doing nocturnal home hemo, I was told that if my living situation became unstable I would have to return to in-center.  The facility will not take a chance with your health, especially not having a sterile, secure environment to do treatments. 

Personally, I would go back to in-center till things got settled.  It is too risky with infections and complications to do any treatments while homeless.

Be Well   

I wish it were that simple. I've never done in-center so I don't have access. I would hate to go have to get a catheter placed in my chest just because of a temporary situation. I would end my life before I go that route. If nobody wants me alive, I'm f-ing out. This world sucks anyways.

[WishIKnew]

Stay right where you are.  She will owe you spousal support.  NKF may be able to help financially or at least turn you on to other sources.  Another idea is to contact local churches and ask if any parishioners have a place for rent that is cheaper than where you are now, or at least could the church provide a place for you to store your supplies?  In our area there are so many homes sitting empty that people are begging for renters.  I'm sure Boston is very different, but in Elyia, Ohio you can rent a nice little single family home for less than $ 500 a month.  I'm the daughter of a Methodist minister and I know every church my dad served would absolutely have helped you out in this situation!!!!!  There are options and possibilities for you!

[beachbum]

My cousin just ended his life last week. He had his troubles but he was 33 with 4 kids (infant to 13 years old) and a wife. His wife who's 32 got sick suddenly and found out she needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life. The hospitals want $200,000 up front! It was all too much for my cousin and he did what he had to do. But I was thinking, he had a family that needed him and a wife to fight for. I have nothing. How much easier is it going to be for me to end it. I'm backed into a corner and this world sucks. I don't want to start all over and struggle. I think it's time to just let nature take its course. This world is full of heartless people. I've seen enough.

[beachbum]

My wife proved to me tonight that she doesn't care. It always about herself. I'm going to show her. I hope she's happy when she finds my lifeless body when she gets home.

[WishIKnew]

beachbum - hang on now.  Stop and step back.  There IS help available to you.  Give this board of your FRIENDS a chance to brainstorm ideas and help you find a solution.  Things look bad right now.  Tomorrow WILL be better.   

[paris]

WishIKnew is right. Go to the nearest church and explain the situation.  We go to a downtown church and the help with money, food, living situations, anything.    They have helped my daughter in a dark time.  And continue to lend a hand to her. 

You are worth being here,  leaving won't help anyone and there are still things you need to do.    Talk to your nephrologist.  Call a reporter and tell them you have a story for them.  Talk to anyone and everyone until someone listens.   Sometimes a stranger can help you more than family can.  Makes lots of noise until you get the attention you need.

I am sorry about your cousin.  I feel bad for his wife and kids.  It will be so hard for them.    I'm keeping you in my prayers.   There is help.  And there are lots of people here who might have some great ideas for you.   Keep posting -- we are worried for you.  Life gets really hard, but things do get better.  Not right now, not tomorrow, but it will get better.   

[SugarBear]

Yes, please take time to clam down and think things through.  I would say most people here on IHD have consider ending it by either stopping treatment or the alternative.  Life is harder for patients, but not impossible.  You will get through this troubling time just like you got through your difficult childhood.  We all are warriors and survivors, this includes you!

[Rerun]

You are married and have rights.  Stay where you are and think things through.  The bridge between dispare and hope is a good nights sleep.  Try that first.

         

[MaryJoe]

Beachbum, Surely in a city the size of Boston there is access to free legal advice.  Try your local Coalition For the Homeless, (or similar group) they should be able to help you with housing, legal advice and even food if that is necessary.

Rerun is right, take a deep breath and get a good night's sleep.  This is too important of a decision to be made in the dark - both literally and figuratively.  Sometimes you have to hold on minute to minute.

As WishIKnew said more than one local church will probably be able to offer assistance in some way.  There should be a St. Vincent De Paul Society at a nearbyCatholic Church who can help you.

Also, please find someone local to talk to,  Therapy doesn't have to be long term, but you need someone to help give you perspective on all that is going on in your life right now.

  MJ

[Whamo]

Beachbum,  Don't give up just yet.  Have faith.  Good people willing to help you are out there.  You just have to seek them out.  The other posters have given you some good suggestions.  I will pray for you.

[Sluff]

Beach bum it pains me to see you go through this, I have seen others in your shoes as well as myself. My best friend was going to end his life about a year ago. I'm glad he didn't and so is he. You never know what is around the corner waiting for you to get there. Death is final and a headline in the obituaries for you, what about the ones who do care? They will live with the guilt of not knowing what they could have done to help you. I'm not trying to minimize your feelings here but you need to keep trying to go on. Please stay strong, we care!

[paris]

You've been in my thoughts all night.  Please post so we know how you are.  I'm praying you slept and rested and have a better outlook today. We all want to help you figure your situation out and we care.       

[lmunchkin]

Please do not do this Beachbum.  You are not at peace right now, and you need to be at peace with this decision!  I would not GIVE her selfish nature the satisfaction, that She won over you. Go to a local church for help!  Don't just give up without a fight!

If you could make it to Nashville some how, we will give you shelter. Do you think you could make it here?  Please do not go this way Beachbum, not in your frame of mind.  You are hurting and you need to be taken care of.  Life is not kind, but there is light at the end of this tunnel!!!!

WE REALLY DO CARE!  Praying for you Beachbum, that God will give you the strength to go on!

lmunchkin

[Jean]

Wow beachbum, here you have some one offfering you shelter and that and a little help from the church could be all you need until your head gets screwed back on right. Dont pass this up guy, it is a once in a lifetime offer.

[brenda seal]

lmunchkin has reduced me to tears - your kindness and generosity are amazing !
Beachbum - can your relationship with your wife be salvaged - surely she would not see you on the street . Can your doctor put you in touch with a social worker who can help you find housing that you can afford ? Do they have public housing in The States for people in need ? I know someone can help you so don't give up !  Good Luck

[deniferfer]

Hey Beachbum

Please hang in there and don't end your life over this. I know things are hard right now and it seems like there is no outlet. But I promise things will get better and you far more things to offer this world. As other have said we all care about you here and we all want you to stay around in this world.

Check out the churches, shelters and other resources in your town. Someone out there will help you and be willing to take you in. Not everyone is selfish and will turn you away.

I hope you come back on here and let us know your OK.

[gothiclovemonkey]

I really hope you are alright.
I know what its like to want to end it, even before i got sick, I often found myself at the sharp end of a blade... A few times I went to far, but luckily I made it out alive.
Life can suck, and most of the people in it suck even worse, but the people HERE at IHD are amazing folks, and care so much about each other, about us, about YOU.

Im rreally sorry that your wife has done what she has to you. Noone deserves to be treated that way.

Idk if you are affiliated with any religious folks, but a lot of times churches will help with this sort of thing. Even if you arent, it wouldnt hurt to ask.

Hoping your still with us.
 

[Traveller1947]

My heart breaks for you, Tommy.  Life has dealt you a bad hand, with so much hurt and neglect in childhood and pain and deceit as an adult.  Then this miserable kidney disease on top of everything!  All of us here can relate to that and all of us here feel for you.  Just read back over these posts and tell me who your REAL family is.  You don't need to hold on the family you were born into or the one you married into--they failed you.  Painful as that is, if you can let them go, you can find a BETTER life without them.  If you end your life, all hope and possibility ends.  Your OLD family won't grieve or regret.  If they were capable of that, they wouldn't have harmed you in the first place.  WE would grieve and would regret, thinking, if only we could've found just the right words to keep you with us...Life is hard, but LIFE IS SO WORTH LIVING!  None of us knows what good things the future may bring, but you have to be here to experience it.  Those are not empty words, those are truths.  You've survived so much, Tommy.  Find help.  Let go.  Stay strong.  All the best, as always.

[lmunchkin]

I have tried to PM Tommy, but sad to say, he has blocked my messages.  This hurts me at my heart.  I hope he has not gone through with this.  Hopefully, he is taking some time to regroup. 

But Beachbum, if you are reading this, my offer still stands.  My J & I are more than willing to take you in.  You may stay with us as long as you like.  If you don't want to come live with us, at least you can come for a little get away.  There is alot to see in Tennessee and would love to show you around!

Thanks to everyone for your reaching out to him.  I believe we all have been concerned for his situation for quite sometime!

Please let us hear from you, Tommy!!!!

God Bless,
lmunchkin

[Traveller1947]

Thank YOU, Imunchkin, for your compassion, your generosity, your wisdom.   This is why I say we are a real family, the best kind.