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Author Topic: Kidney card fail  (Read 5325 times)
Deanne
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« on: December 14, 2011, 04:23:46 PM »

Some people!

Rant on: 

A neighbor wants to have a Christmas party, only get this - she wants to have it at MY house. I politely responded that it won't work for me. I have Tigger (dog in my avatar who bites and will launch into a panicked "intruder alert" bark the entire time strangers are in my house), and since my kidneys are on the verge of failure, I really don't have enough energy to prepare for and deal with people partying at my house. I thought it was  :Kit n Stik; of her in the first place to decide to have a party at someone else's house. She said she plans to bring the appetizers and wine, like that's all the effort that's required, so it should be ok. Her own house is a disaster/borderline hoarded. She responded to my "no" with "Let's just table it for now." Huh? No means No. It doesn't mean maybe later.

Rant off.

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Deanne

1972: Diagnosed with "chronic kidney disease" (no specific diagnosis)
1994: Diagnosed with FSGS
September 2011: On transplant list with 15 - 20% function
September 2013: ~7% function. Started PD dialysis
February 11, 2014: Transplant from deceased donor. Creatinine 0.57 on 2/13/2014
MooseMom
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« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2011, 04:28:01 PM »

You must be joking. ::)
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
cariad
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What's past is prologue

« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2011, 07:36:53 PM »

A neighbor wants to have a Christmas party, only get this - she wants to have it at MY house. I politely responded that it won't work for me. I have Tigger (dog in my avatar who bites and will launch into a panicked "intruder alert" bark the entire time strangers are in my house)
Perhaps you need to invite the neighbour over to plan the party and meet Tigger..... >:D

Sorry you have to live so close to such a twit, Deanne. She'll learn the hard way when she encounters her own health issues.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2011, 07:59:13 PM »

The nerve!  :P
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
jadey
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« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2011, 08:12:47 PM »

how rude and inconsiderate! if she approaches you again with the same request, make it clear to her!
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Nov 5, 2011 - diagnosed with ESRD, unknown cause
Nov 14, 2011 - PD catheter insert
Nov 15, 2011 - Started PD
Oct 11, 2012 - received a kidney from my mom, 3/6 match
-kidney wasn't filtering properly. 2nd surgery 4 days later to re-position kidney. Accident happened and kidney got damaged. Internally bleed 1.5 L and needed a transfusion. 3rd surgery to sew up the damaged kidney.
-anaphylactic shock to thymoglobulin
-ATN and rejection
-sleepy kidney waiting to recover

a start of a new life, a new journey
Darthvadar
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« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2011, 11:58:55 PM »

Ha Ha!!!!...  :rofl;

The flipping cheek of some people!...

Next time she asks say 'Well, I'll think about it... Hosting a party, eh???... Well, I could certainly do with the extra money!"... Then walk away, leaving her to pick her jaw up!!!!!....

Love...

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
Deanne
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« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2011, 07:53:49 AM »

If it comes up again, I'm thinking I'll tell her I'll do it, under certain conditions:

- she has to hire someone to clean my house both before and after the party
- she has to find a dog-sitter who can take both of my dogs during the party
- she has to pay for a hotel room for me to stay at during the duration of the party, with unlimited room service, of course
- To cover any potential spills, she has to give me a deposit equal to the price of the new furniture I just bought, and has to put in writing that she will cover any damage to anything.

I have to cut her a tiny bit of slack. She's a brain injury survivor, so maybe part of her oddness is a result of the injury. I didn't know her before she was injured. However, as a disabled woman in her upper 60s I'd think, brain injury or not, she'd understand that putting a party together requires more than running out for some microwavable snacks and bottles of wine. Hopefully, she'll never bring it up again.
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Deanne

1972: Diagnosed with "chronic kidney disease" (no specific diagnosis)
1994: Diagnosed with FSGS
September 2011: On transplant list with 15 - 20% function
September 2013: ~7% function. Started PD dialysis
February 11, 2014: Transplant from deceased donor. Creatinine 0.57 on 2/13/2014
jbeany
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Cattitude

« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2011, 08:58:09 PM »

Maybe we can get her together with the woman who shows up at all my craft workshops.  My favorite of her over-the-top comments was "You're going north for weekend to see a friend?  Oh good, I'll go with you."  What??
She's had a stroke, and her social and logic skills are pretty much MIA.  She can be very sweet, but sometimes, all you do is is go "Ummmmmm......" when she says odd things. 
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.

amanda100wilson
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« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2012, 01:35:44 PM »

If it comes up again just repeat the 'no'. Even if you didn't have CKD she has a nerve.  You refer to her as a neighbour, not a friend.  That would expecting too much even if she were a friend.
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ESRD 22 years
  -PD for 18 months
  -Transplant 10 years
  -PD for 8 years
  -NxStage since October 2011
Healthy people may look upon me as weak because of my illness, but my illness has given me strength that they can't begin to imagine.

Always look on the bright side of life...
Deanne
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« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2012, 03:01:37 PM »

I never posted what finally happened. She invited me and another neighbor over to celebrate New Year's eve with her. It was a pleasant afternoon (we celebrated it at 4 pm). Her home is a dirty disaster area, but the other neighbor and I both knew that already, so I guess she feels comfortable with us seeing it. I think this neighbor has decided to adopt me. She's brought me food a couple of times since then. I'm not very comfortable eating it, but she's giving it to me out of kindness, so I thank her for her kindness and pitch it in the trash later.

Last weeked I took my trash out to the curb early. I usually take it out Monday mornings, right before they pick it up. Last weekend, I took it out Sunday afternoon and went back in the house to grab some recycling stuff to take out. When I went back out, she was pulling a couple of garbage bags out of my bin. She said she noticed my bin was full and she had plenty of room in hers. Um.... ok. Weird, but I know she's just trying to be nice.
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Deanne

1972: Diagnosed with "chronic kidney disease" (no specific diagnosis)
1994: Diagnosed with FSGS
September 2011: On transplant list with 15 - 20% function
September 2013: ~7% function. Started PD dialysis
February 11, 2014: Transplant from deceased donor. Creatinine 0.57 on 2/13/2014
MooseMom
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« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2012, 04:08:03 PM »

Something about this is sorta sweet.
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
natnnnat
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« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2012, 01:50:32 AM »

heeheehee.  I think this whole story is pretty luscious.  You came so close to being sprung my dear.  But giggling aside, I also like the way you are all kind of gentle with each other, even in the face of ongoing wierdness. 
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Natalya – Sydney, Australia
wife of Gregory, who is the kidney patient: 
1986: kidney failure at 19 years old, cause unknown
PD for a year, in-centre haemo for 4 years
Transplant 1 lasted 21 years (Lucy: 1991 - 2012), failed due to Transplant glomerulopathy
5 weeks Haemo 2012
Transplant 2 (Maggie) installed Feb 13, 2013, returned to work June 17, 2013 average crea was 130, now is 140.
Infections in June / July, hospital 1-4 Aug for infections.

Over the years:  skin cancer; thyroidectomy, pneumonia; CMV; BK; 14 surgeries
Generally glossy and happy.

2009 - 2013 PhD research student : How people make sense of renal failure in online discussion boards
Submitted February 2013 :: Graduated Sep 2013.   http://godbold.name/experiencingdialysis/
Heartfelt thanks to IHD, KK and ADB for your generosity and support.
Deanne
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« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2012, 08:20:44 AM »

My neighbor can't help it. She's had some very bad medical challenges of her own. I think she was once a very bright woman - some sort of software engineer in a past life and finished most of the requirements for a doctorate degree at Carnegie-Mellon. She ended up with a brain injury due to a car wreck, and she nearly died from complications from gastric bypass surgery. This was all way before I moved into this neighborhood, so I don't know what she was like before - whether her oddness now is a result of the brain injury or if this is just who she has always been. It doesn't matter. She's a very kind-hearted person, so as much as I might laugh at some of her oddities, I hope I never treat her with anything but kindness and respect.
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Deanne

1972: Diagnosed with "chronic kidney disease" (no specific diagnosis)
1994: Diagnosed with FSGS
September 2011: On transplant list with 15 - 20% function
September 2013: ~7% function. Started PD dialysis
February 11, 2014: Transplant from deceased donor. Creatinine 0.57 on 2/13/2014
MooseMom
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« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2012, 09:05:08 AM »

My neighbor can't help it. She's had some very bad medical challenges of her own.

I can't help but wonder if she felt lonely and unsupported while she was going through difficult times.  Maybe she vowed to herself that if she ever met anyone with health issues, she'd be sure to treat them much better than the way she was treated.  You never know what motivates people.
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
glitter
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« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2012, 08:18:14 PM »

My neighbor can't help it. She's had some very bad medical challenges of her own. I think she was once a very bright woman - some sort of software engineer in a past life and finished most of the requirements for a doctorate degree at Carnegie-Mellon. She ended up with a brain injury due to a car wreck, and she nearly died from complications from gastric bypass surgery. This was all way before I moved into this neighborhood, so I don't know what she was like before - whether her oddness now is a result of the brain injury or if this is just who she has always been. It doesn't matter. She's a very kind-hearted person, so as much as I might laugh at some of her oddities, I hope I never treat her with anything but kindness and respect.

Thats really nice of you, she sounds kinds charming. :flower;
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Jack A Adams July 2, 1957--Feb. 28, 2009
I will miss him- FOREVER

caregiver to Jack (he was on dialysis)
RCC
nephrectomy april13,2006
dialysis april 14,2006
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