a form letter to creditors

[melshell]

                                                   FORM LETTER TO CREDITORS

(Date)

(Insert addressee)


Dir Sir/Madam,

   I am writing to apologize for any inconvenience you may have been forced to endure while you have waited patiently to receive delinquent payment from us towards our outstanding balance with you. Please, allow me to explain as whatever it is we owe you for, I'm certain we cannot live without, and it would only add to our current devastation if you insisted upon retrieving it.

   You see, I am currently out of work at the present, due to kidney failure that has necessitated recent surgery which has enabled me to prolong my life via a machine. I have been fortunate enough to have a tube placed in my lower abdomen which enables me to receive self dialysis at home seven nights a week for an undetermined amount of time-until I receive a transplant- without the benefit of insurance, savings, or any consistent payor source! Infact, had it not been for the extreme generosity of friends and family so far, I'm sure my husband and myself would not only be homeless, with no means of transportation, but would certainly have starved to death by now.

   However, we don't want you to despair!! We think we have discovered a solution to the problems we have encountered lately in sending our payment to you in a timely manner--As you might imagine, the cost of medications to manage my condition have been outrageously expensive without insurance or assistance, and as my husband assured me the last time I was lucid, they aren't entirely warranted. We have discovered, as well, that it isn't a necessity to eat EVERY day, and that if we schedule my doctor's appointments far enough in advance, and enough time apart, we may actually be able to WALK to them, weather permitting of course! All hope is NOT lost, we are STILL awaiting my disability decision, and with the extra $100.00 a month that will provide, I'm sure we can whittle away that balance in no time!! 

   We sincerely appreciate your willingness to work with us, and your patience during this trying timeWe sincerely appreciate your willingness to work with us, and your patience during this trying timeWe sincerely appreciate your willingness to work with us, and your patience during this trying time!...I think I may have repeeted mysssefff...a fewww times...uh-oh...everthings going dark agin...I'm feeling faint, so I must close for now! Don't worry, it's just the delirium, it will pass!

Thanks again!

(Sendor)

[angela515]

 

[Black]

That's almost too true to be funny, but I did laugh.   

[Rerun]

Very creative.   

[jbeany]

Oh, I have to do bills tonight - mind if I print that?  hehehehehehe

[Sluff]

I started to feel sorry for you until I remembered it was a joke. LOL

[Treasure]

Geewhizzies, so you're so nice and polite. I usually tell creditors when they call that I'm not going to live long enough to pay all of them and they'll have to fight off my numerous children for the .45 that is my savings account balance, hehehe. Interestingly, they don't call back, hehehe.

[jbeany]

That's what caller id is for!