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Author Topic: Why am I feeling guilty?  (Read 2901 times)
cattlekid
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« on: July 10, 2011, 12:04:30 PM »

So 16-year-old neighbor boy stops by today and asks if he can mow our lawn for $20.  It's hotter than blazes outside but I took him up on his offer.  I've been keeping his water glass full as well. 

I know this kid's family slightly through word of mouth.  He has seven brothers and sisters.   Money of course is tight. He has told me so far that he will do any outside chore that I have a need for.  His older brother will help with gutter cleaning, tree trimming and roofing.  I found out that I hired one of his younger brothers this winter for help with shoveling after an especially bad snowstorm. 

They all seem like clean-cut kids without a lot of resources.  I don't have much to spare myself but I do have enough to toss him a $20 every two weeks for mowing at the least. 

Why am I feeling so guilty?  I feel like I should be the one sweating my arse off outside mowing, even though now I have more time today to finish inside chores. 

Please help me reconcile my guilty feelings!  I know it's just going to get worse when the day comes when I have a transplant and will need much more help around the house.

 :thx;
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jbeany
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« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2011, 12:16:58 PM »

Young, healthy boys are MEANT to mow lawns.  Period.  It's a time honored tradition so that they can get those all important rite-of-passage cars.  There is no need to feel guilty about that!
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Brightsky69
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« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2011, 12:23:02 PM »

 You have no reason to feel guilty about letting someone else cut your grass. I thought that's what 16 year old neighborhood kids are for?  :waiting; :rofl;
 Plus if your on dialysis then it doesn't sound like a good idea for you to be out there sweating your booty off. I mean it's not like you can drink a nice big icy cold glass of water when your done. If those kids are willing then I say let them have at it.  ;D
Heck, I have a transplant and I still don't cut the grass.  ;D ;D I think he sounds like a good kid. Most of the teenagers I know are spoiled and lazy. They normally expect things to be handed to them.
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Riki
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« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2011, 12:41:09 PM »

Yep, I wouldn't feel guilty at all.  I wish there was a neighborhood kid who'd do our lawn for $20.  My Mom huffs and puffs through it now, and she comes in hacking up grass that she's swallowed or breathed in, and it's not healthy for her
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cattlekid
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« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2011, 12:44:29 PM »

Thanks guys for making me feel better!  I had to laugh, he saw some of the weeds in my flower beds and told me that he would be happy to pull weeds, etc.  Whatever I needed, including poop pickup, dog walking etc.  He not-so-tactfully mentioned that he turned a neighbors yard "from crappy to pretty".  LOL  I took the hint.   ;D

He truly seems like a good kid.  We had a little talk while he was resting between front and back yards and I asked him what he planned on doing after high school.  He said that he was just going to go to work.  I found out that he has dogs so I started making suggestions like vet tech school.   I told him that not everyone is cut out for college, but there are a lot of careers that he could investigate that would just be a couple of years of post-high school training.  I suggested auto repair, HVAC, etc.  Anything where he could work with his hands and still make some decent money. 

Like I mentioned before, he seems like a good kid without resources or much guidance. Apparently big brother does nothing but play video games all day.  At least this kid is out hustling.  Apparently, he's had his eye on our house for weeks but we are never home LOL 

I am hoping that someday he will be working while my husband is home and the two of them can strike up a conversation.  He seems like a kid in need of positive role models and a few bucks.
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monrein
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« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2011, 01:49:49 PM »

Far from guilty, you ought to feel pleased and satisfied that you can contribute to the development of a healthy work ethic and offer support to someone who sounds as though they could use it.   :flower;
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MooseMom
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« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2011, 03:34:42 PM »

Far from guilty, you ought to feel pleased and satisfied that you can contribute to the development of a healthy work ethic and offer support to someone who sounds as though they could use it.   :flower;

I agree entirely!  I think it is wonderful that you are giving this kid the opportunity to be responsible and diligent!!  He needs the money, you need the work done, it's a perfect fit.  I would be thrilled to bits if I had help in the yard!!  Good for you for agreeing to this arrangement; I'm sure you've done a lot to boost this kid's confidence.  And I think you should keep him and his siblings in mind for your post-transplant downtime.  It's a win win situation for everyone!  What a stroke of luck for both of you!
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billybags
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« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2011, 06:17:25 AM »

I wish I could find some nice boy to do my gardening. With my husband not being very able I am really struggling. I can manage the lawns but I can not manage the hedges, I am only slight and lifting the hedge cutters is a nightmare, in fact I cut through the cable yesterday and bang. Husband sat watching and told me off for not looking what I was doing. It did not matter that my hair was standing on end. So in not so many words I told him we needed a gardener So cattlekid do not feel guilty, feel pleased with your self for admitting that you need help..
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cattlekid
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« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2011, 06:54:18 AM »

Do you live in a big city or a small town?  My grandmother lives in a small town...when she needs yardwork done, she calls the school and they send over a couple of kids after school that she then pays a few dollars. It's such a small rural area that the kids are thrilled with the chance to earn a few bucks.  If you have a school nearby, I would look into it.



I wish I could find some nice boy to do my gardening. With my husband not being very able I am really struggling. I can manage the lawns but I can not manage the hedges, I am only slight and lifting the hedge cutters is a nightmare, in fact I cut through the cable yesterday and bang. Husband sat watching and told me off for not looking what I was doing. It did not matter that my hair was standing on end. So in not so many words I told him we needed a gardener So cattlekid do not feel guilty, feel pleased with your self for admitting that you need help..
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pagandialysis
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« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2011, 03:33:05 PM »

I don't know about you but I don't think I would be able to safely mow the lawn anymore. I always feel so drained after treatment and sometimes even the day after I feel tired. And now with this fluid restriction I don't even think I could stay safely hydrated while mowing the lawn.

So If your anything like me then I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I pay a lawn service $150 a month to cut my lawn every 10 days. So stay inside where you will be safe and let the young, healthy, kid do the work you pay him to do.  :2thumbsup;
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MooseMom
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« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2011, 01:41:49 PM »

This thread came to mind when I received an email today from The Association of Individual Development.  They are an organization that helps developmentally disabled people find housing, employment and anything else that enables them to live as independently as possible.  I am a regular contributer to this charity, and they send out monthly updates.  The State of Illinois recently took away about $1m of the organization's state funding, so you can imagine how this has affected the people they assist.  Anyway, this update included a piece about how some of the clients have been organized to do yard work; they currently help maintain lawns and gardens for 10 houses in our local area.  They will mow, weed, rake and other garden chores for the minimum wage.  They are hoping to expand this program, so I emailed them and asked if they would be interested in coming and doing some gardening for me.  I can still do it on my own, but couple yard work with the laundry, the cooking, the shopping etc, any help would be great.  So, I was thinking that if any of you need some help with such chores, maybe a local charity like AID could help.  You'd get extra pairs of hands, and they'd get the opportunity to work for their own wages.  Just a thought.
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
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