I agree with jeannea. I am a 39 yr old perpetually single woman who is scratching my head at the thought that men hate the whole "being just friends" thing. In my whole life of dating, that is pretty much the only word any man has used to describe me. I was diagnosed with CKD at age 23, but it didn't really affect my life until shortly before starting dialysis at age 37. So even without the obvious health issue, men never looked at me as anything "more". I am 5'8" and have always been on the slender side. I just figured it was a lie that men like "skinny" women. KarenInWA
In between relationships I have always had a clamoring of men (and even a few women!) wanting to date me or pursue a relationship with me. I think a lot of it is what you put out into the world. I am sickeningly positive, funny, and I don't go into anything with expectations. If they love me, they do. If they hate me, they do. I don't have time in my life to worry about what other people think. It is usually pretty damned visible to see who will be strong enough to handle your heavy load and who is just going to be skittish and selfish. They key is being open and upfront and to look them in the eye and ask "Can your handle my ish?". Then look for clues that they are lying or not. Do they break eye contact? Do they look or sound uncomfortable? If they show signs they aren't down with your stuff, walk away early and save yourself the heart-ache. Life doesn't stop or change because you're sick. And the RIGHT person will fiercely stand by your side. Heck. Sometimes even the not-so-right but ok person will fiercely stand by your side. Don't give up, you guys.
A Healthy Person on Dialysis© 1997 Andrew Lundin, M.D. All rights reserved. Reproduced with permission.A healthy person on dialysis should be able to do many or the things they planned to do before becoming sick. Being an astronaut may not be in the cards, however. With age and other limiting conditions, more vigorous activities will have to be curtailed. There is no question that one's stamina and strength are lessened with renal failure and dialysis so that a degree of acceptance of these limitations helps. But conditioning can help and exercise is encouraged. Laying around, feeling sorry, maybe necessary for a time, but only makes the problem worse if not overcome. I finished college at Stanford University in California and went to medical school as a dialysis patient, dialyzing 14 hours overnight, three times per week. When an intern and resident I worked in a city hospital in Brooklyn, NY, and for several nights, dialyzed every other night when I wasn't oncall for 36 hrs. I write this reluctantly, not to brag or seem heroic. it was just what I needed to do to reach my goal of becoming a doctor. We are not heroes, we are survivors and just need others to help or get out of the way so we can make it. The dialysis world is full of achievers who encourage me by their successes. Perhaps some of them can tell us what they have done despite dialysis. Peter Lundin, MD [In the mid-1960s, Dr. Lundin was the first dialysis patient to complete medical school and the first nephrologist who was also a dialysis patient. He was a distinguished nephrologist and tireless patient advocate.]
It is motivating and nice to hear but in my head it makes me feel and wonder why I can't seem to do that.
Quote from: jbeany on February 12, 2013, 07:54:52 AMOf course, there's no mention in that essay of how successful he was at maintaining a relationship while doing dialysis and med school simultaneously, which was the issue at hand. I think the money/future support/good provider issue is always going to be huge. Love may be blind, but many people can hear cash register bells ringing from a distance. If the person in love isn't thinking about how our health is going to affect the future, you can be darn sure their friends and family will bring it up and bring them back down to earth.Peter and his wife, Maureen, were married for 25+ years until her death from cancer in the late 1990s. For all the work Maureen did for its magazine, RenaLife, AAKP honored her memory with the "Maureen Lundin AAKP RENALIFE Award."http://nephron.org/nephsites/lundin/lundinscorner.html
Of course, there's no mention in that essay of how successful he was at maintaining a relationship while doing dialysis and med school simultaneously, which was the issue at hand. I think the money/future support/good provider issue is always going to be huge. Love may be blind, but many people can hear cash register bells ringing from a distance. If the person in love isn't thinking about how our health is going to affect the future, you can be darn sure their friends and family will bring it up and bring them back down to earth.
Quote from: geoffcamp on February 12, 2013, 06:41:55 AM It is motivating and nice to hear but in my head it makes me feel and wonder why I can't seem to do that. And Shad Ireland does Iron Man competitions while on dialysis. And yet, hearing what other people accomplished never was all that much help when I spent every day puking my guts out and too dizzy to stand up. Dialysis doesn't work as well for some as it does for others, and we all have individual complications that affect how much we can do. Don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself, Geoff. Do what you can, as best you can, and do your best to be content with what works for you.
I Hate Dialysis Message Board
I Hate Dialysis Message Board
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