I want to stick myself

[Stoday]

I started button holes a week ago and up to tonight they were fine. The policy at my clinic is to swap charis and techs on every visit, so different techs use my buttonholes.

Tonight the A needle went in OK, but the V needle gave me a shock of pain all the way down my fistula. After a few tries the tech couldn't get it to work, gave up and asked another for help. They had a dig around but to no avail; couldn't get it positioned to allow the flow of blood. So yet another tech and another dig. After the FORTH failed I felt like a plowed field. Finally they used a sharp in a new place.

Thereupon I resolved to stick myself as soon as I can learn the technique. I know some IHD members stick themselves; I would find it helpful if they can offer any tips so that I can start to stick myself soon.

[Zog]

Jenn has been sticking herself at home for 2 years now.  She wouldn't have it any other way.  She recently got a set of buttonholes developed.  She has been alternating between sharps and blunts.  Sometimes the blunts don't want to go in and the sharps though they hurt don't hurt as bad as a blunt that is being forced.

Good luck!  If you are going to live on dialysis, this is a skill you should learn if they let you.

[galvo]

Yeah, me too, Stoday. I am impressed by the number of people who 'do' themselves at one of my centres.

[cloud393]

I have been sticking myself for about 2 months (I use NxStage) and all I can say is, Just do it.  That's pretty much what my nurse told me in training.  I was so scared and nervouse but it wasn't as bad as I imagined.  Good luck!

[Bill Peckham]

Here's a video from 4 years ago that shows me putting them in. I've been doing it for over 19 years, first with sharps and for the last 9 with buttonholes.  My advise for people learning to use sharps is to ask for a needle to take home with you and to canulate fruit to get a feel for the motion. Try to get the needle through the rind but not into the pulp.


To get the feel for a buttonhole maybe establish the track in an orange with a 17 gauge and then practice following the  track with a 15 gauge buttonhole. It's actually easier to canulate yourself because you can feel what's going on. Learning to put in your own needles makes dialysis much less of a burden.

[MooseMom]

Cannulate fruit.  Why does that make me laugh?

[Trikkechickk]

My original buttonholes were created while in training w/Nxstage.  Multiple people developed them, thus I had some bad tracks.  I decided to do it on my own.  My advice, just go in slow and easy - minimal that way.

[Stoday]

I had my first attempt tonight!

Of the 100 or so patients who attend my clinic, only two self-cannulate. But no problem — the "best needler" came over to sort me out. First I had to get over the psychological barrier of actully pushing a needle in. I'd watched phlebotomists needling me in the past, but not with dialysis needles. I mean, they're so big! So I'd not even watched a 16g needle going in and here I was pushing one into my arm. I got it in alright but I drew the line at poking around to find the place where it pops into the vein. Phew! I let the tech finish it off. I didn't attempt the venous needle because that had been dug around so much two days ago. Much to my surprise, the "best needler" managed to resurrect my V buttonhole.

I've brought a blunt needle home with me to play around with an orange as Bill Peckham suggested.

Next test is Monday twilight. I'm determined to succeed although I still have a residual psycho difficulty.

Thanks for your suggestions.

[MooseMom]

Fantastic!!!  I am so pleased for you!  I hope I will be able to do what you have done; you should be feeling very proud of yourself!

[cloud393]

Good job!!  Pretty soon it'll be a breeze.

[galvo]

You're a gameun, old fella. BTW and off-topic, I'm engaged in a bit of research and am wondering if you have any memories of the Zepplin raids on Ipswich during WW1.

[Stoday]

Reminds me of an incident at Frankfort Airport. Some welcome type woman says "Have you been to Frankfurt before"?

Yeah, a few years ago now.

Didn't land though.

 

[galvo]

 

[Stoday]

Here's a video from 4 years ago that shows me putting them in.

First time I looked at that video I had to switch it off. It was turning my stomach over. I know this is all a psychological hangup, which I have to overcome — and I shall overcome it!

I got my 15 year old granddaughter to sit beside me and hold my hand. That way I was able to watch Bill Peckham's video.

Tomorrow I shall watch it by myself. My aim is to be able to watch it without cringing.

Tomorrow twilight is the next real test. Shall I be able to cannulate myself then? Today I don't know...

[Bill Peckham]

Here's a video from 4 years ago that shows me putting them in.

First time I looked at that video I had to switch it off. It was turning my stomach over. I know this is all a psychological hangup, which I have to overcome — and I shall overcome it!

I got my 15 year old granddaughter to sit beside me and hold my hand. That way I was able to watch Bill Peckham's video.

Tomorrow I shall watch it by myself. My aim is to be able to watch it without cringing.

Tomorrow twilight is the next real test. Shall I be able to cannulate myself then? Today I don't know...

When I started dialysis (twenty years ago in eight days) I couldn't watch them put in the needles. It's definitely a psychological block, even today putting in sharps is stressful but it is better than the alternative of having someone else do it.

[MooseMom]

Tomorrow twilight is the next real test. Shall I be able to cannulate myself then? Today I don't know...

I would really, REALLY appreciate it if you would post everything about your experience...what you thought, how you felt, what was harder than you thought and what was easier than you thought.  Was the anticipation worse than the actual cannulating?  I will be thinking of you and wishing the very best for you.  Please keep us posted, OK?

[Mimi]

Stoday.....Frankfurt huh........

[Stoday]

It's now D-time minus 2. I've watched Bill Peckham's video half a dozen times now and I can watch it without cringing. Just! 

I've no idea how I'll react in 2 hour's time...

[MooseMom]

I can't wait to hear back from you.  I'm wishing you all the luck in the world.  Don't get discouraged.  If it works well the very first time, then great, but if not, just take a deep breath and try again.  There is no rush.  Be patient with yourself.  Remember that being able to do this will give you the very best chance possible to have good dialysis experiences (I've been told there is such a phenomenon!).  We are all here to support you.

[Stoday]

Well, I failed on Monday and I failed on Wednesday. 

I've lost the hang-up of needling myself; I can do that part now without my stomach turning over. I have also poked around without a problem. However I couldn't find the way into the vein. The vein kept moving out of the way, so the needle slipped down alongside it. When the tech needles me, he uses fingers on his other hand to hold the vein. I can't do that, of course.

I watched Bill Peckham's video again but it didn't help. He just goes straight in. Maybe he has an advantage in that his buttonholes are very mature. Mine are not. The one I try with has been penetrated eight times now.

Any suggestions from self-cannulating IHD members? I am still determined to succeed with this — if others can do it, so can I.

[YLGuy]

Really pay attention to the angles when you insert the needle.  When you get a flash look at the needle.  You will try to simulate that exactly.  I also have the tech hold off so the vein is more prominent.  I will see if I can take a movie of me doing it in center. I do not know if they will let me.  Mine are off to the right and one is pretty deep. 

[Trikkechickk]

The first time I stuck myself, I just said:  "Just do it"  And I did.  It's got to happen anyway!

[YLGuy]

Here you go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4-u04Jh3XM

The tech preps the site before and tapes them down after.

[Stoday]

I did it!  I did it! I did it!

Great sense of achievement.

 

Thanks to everyone who gave me encouragement. Especially Ylguy who went to the trouble of producing a video. Maybe I will be able to go fast like that one day. For now I'm doing it real slow.

The hardest part was overcoming the psychological inhibition of sticking a needle in my arm.

[MooseMom]

Oh Stoday, that's just brilliant news!  I am so thrilled for you; I know it wasn't easy, but yes indeed, you DID IT!  Congratulations for bucking up the courage!  You deserve a medal!!