After seven years — it happened today!

[Stoday]

Consultation with my neph today he says "I think we ought to arrange for you to start (hemo) dialysis in the next couple of weeks".

I've known this would happen one day for the last seven years, but it's still a bit of a shock when it really does happen. I chickened out. "Hey, you did say 'weeks' not 'months'? Suddenly, it's like when you go to the dentist with toothache. No ache as he comes at you with a loaded needle. Same here, I suddenly felt as well as I've ever been. "Let's not be too precipitate...". "OK" he says, "I'll see you again in a month's time. I think you'll have no doubts then". Gulp.

I guess I'm lucky to have 7 years to get used to the idea. I really feel for those poor people who get no notice at all.

[looneytunes]

Oh Stoday...no matter how long you have had to prepare yourself, it must still come as a shock.  You have taken quite some time to learn about D and all the craziness that goes along with it but still have to apply it to yourself.  You will do just fine.  Remember, my friend, knowledge is power!  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[billybags]

Stoday, My husband was the same as you, went for about 5 years and felt he was doing really well, he felt good but the neph looked at numbers and said he liked people going on D that were fairly well because you get into it better. I suppose that makes sense, if you were really, really ill like a lot of people on here,  it would be quite a strain. So having said that you will be fine.We were thankful for the extra years. Have you chosen which kind of D you are going to do?

[monrein]

It's always a shock when the time comes, Stoday.  I do think it's important not to get too ill though by hanging on despite the numbers.  We're here to help with questions and concerns as they come up.   

[galvo]

You'll be all right and as charming as ever!

[Joe Paul]

I don't know whats better, knowing in time you will be on dialysis, or wake up one day and BANG, a new lifestyle. Good luck on holding off your dialysis, but don't wait too long - its really not worth it IMO.

[RichardMEL]

Yes, it can still be a shock. I had 13 years build up and even though I knew it was getting closer and closer.. I used to dread the doc's appointment to get the results and find out if it was time or not. Every time he'd say "we'll keep things the way they are" I'd breathe a sigh of relief and get back to life.. only to get nervous when lab time would come around. When he said it was time to start and then I got a call to front up 3 weeks later.. well I knew it was time but it was still pretty difficult.

However you have a month more, so that's good. Maybe in a way the decision to start - when it is taken out of your hands - it can sometimes be a blessing in disguise... just get it started and on with it.. and when all the newness of it wore off and I got into a stable routine... well it wasn't as bad as I thought.

So I guess now is time to start thinking about all the things you will need to make allowance for - like time for sessions if you're going to do hemo, home training(if you're going to do that) or whatever....

good luck!

[Jean]

 Best of luck to you Stoday. You will be fine. I imagine it is a shock tho, even if you did have seven years to get used to it. I am sure you will do well.

[paul.karen]

If your doing Hemo like you mentioned in your post, the doctor by saying time to get started may have meant just to get your fistula going so it can mature.  You could go months even longer maybe without having to start as long as your have your fistula at the ready.

Ps.  Keep your pet bird away from your fistula....

[MooseMom]

I don't think anyone is ever really fully prepared, whether you've had years to think about it or if you're suddenly on D in an emergency.  It is always a shock.  I had noticed that despite you having your fistula since June of last year, you were not yet on dialysis, and I had been wondering how you were doing.  Now I know, I guess.  At least you are past the trauma of fistula surgery.

I really do understand how you must be feeling.  I'm at about the same point as you are, and it feels like the world will never be the same.  And it won't.  I've read so many posts by so many people here who are already on dialysis, and I swear I do not know where they get the fortitude.  I don't think I will ever be able to just gracefully accept dialysis, but I hope you are a stronger person than I am and that you will just do what you have to do, adapt to a new reality and carve out a good life for yourself.  I wish I knew just what to say to make all of this easier for you, but I don't, and I really regret that.  It upsets me when people say, "I'm sure you'll do fine." because my instant thought is, "You don't know that!  I don't know if I will do fine, so how could YOU know?"  So, I won't say that to you, but I will say that at least you have access to a lot of people who support you and who will help you through this.  Do keep us posted on your progress; I'd love to know what you are thinking and feeling through this time of great transition.  I wish you all the best.

[sullidog]

Unfortunetly I was the wake up, and bang! I'm on dialysis! I didn't even get time to research and prepare, I hardley knew what dialysis was. I accepted it pretty well.
Now I could of avoided it by going for anual checkups. I believe you will do fine. Good luck and keep us posted!
Troy

[Stoday]

I'd like to thank everyone for their helpful and reassuring words.    Thanks, Joe for reminding me that there's a downside to delaying the inevitable. And Galvo — feel free to take the p*ss, I could do with a laugh.

I think I'll just try to get a last normal holiday in during Easter and start afterwards...

 

[galvo]

Thank you, old fella. I find it difficult to envision you taking a 'normal' holiday!

[kitkatz]

I do not think anyone is truly prepared for dialysis.  The changes in your life and the time it takes often conflicts with things you want to do.  Your doctor probably figures you will feel pretty bad in a month's time.  Do not go too long before you start.  Death does not like when you knock on his door and run away.