ILOVEDIALYSIS?

[Ladystardust24]

So I though About it,
I know I am super lucky to be at my unit, I have amazing staff who I love so much! And Even though I'm excited to get listed soon, I will miss my d-unit!

So I know not many people my views on dialysis,
I try to do whatever I can to make it less "work" I call it my "Spa time" and my own time. I know that while I am on dialysis, no one can bug me to do a bunch of stuff. I can nap, play on the computer,watch tv,read,arts and crafts. And I have had people tell me how "Wrong" it is that our nurses yell at us when we do not comply the way we should. But you know what I realized? Its when they stop yelling at you when you should worry, it means that they've stopped caring. Which is worse than them lecturing you why you must take binders/not overdrink. And I feel that all staff should be like that. Sadly many aren't for some, it's just a job, just a 9-5. (ours does inpatient too, so they work overtime if need be..) I have been at dialysis long enough to know that they are trying to show me how to take care of myself the best that I can. And I WANT to go to dialysis, I want to do what I don't always feel like doing, because..well that's what life is. Whether it's work,school,family... you just gotta do it and make the best of the situation you can. Our unit always teaches us that if we overdrink, we should take responsibility. So, you just say.. "today I gained 4.2 too much, and I shouldn't have done that, because I am only hurting myself.. so tomorrow,is a brighter day and I will do better!" My unit has taught me something for when I go off into the world "post dialysis".. I will remember that I can wear my best outfit, be the happiest I can be, and do the best I can do in the world. That maybe life will put me in situations that I don't always like or want to be in, but I will go with grace(as much as a klutz as myself can go..ha) and with style and positivity and I will do the very best I can with it. Because in the end, its all about "state of mind' (easier said than done) But it can be done. As my dad says, "hate is a very strong word, and there is a very thin line between love and hate" So I don't usually "hate" I usually say "highly dislike". So, I "highly dislike" my situation, but I don't "highly dislike" the people I have met and cared and loved me, the lessons I learned, and above everything, Everything I learned about myself." So, I personally do not "hate" dialysis... I "love it" for what its taught me.. plus, I thought I could never do the needles, and I could. I thought I could never sit still for 3.5 hours and I can, I thought I could never be happy on dialysis... And I can. 

[willowtreewren]

 

What a beautiful post, Lady! And it is an attitude like yours that will carry you through some tough times!

Sure there are going to be times that the whole situation just sucks, but being able to look on the bright side will stand the test of time.

Bravo! You are an inspiration!

 

[tyefly]

Yes   I agree.....   finding the positive and working with what you have is the best way.....   I miss my last unit too...  I can see a big difference between the last unit and the current one.....  Big time.....   but it ok ...   
   thx for you post......

[karen547]

I agree for the most part!! I had another seizure on Monday at Dialysis, and am very lucky that they care enough about me to have called  an ambulance, even if I didn't want to go. I love most of the staff and most of the other patients as well. I just wish all units were like that!

[dwcrawford]

LadyStar.... for what it is worth I totally share your views.  Times when I go way down emotionally but generally friends on here and people at my center and a few "flesh and blood friends' get me back on track right away.  I'm going to print your post and put in in my little Davita bag.  Thanks.

I also love David Bowie (and old guys like me are not supposed to).

[kitkatz]

It does not matter that dialysis keeps me alive,
Nor does it matter that being on dialysis has brought me friends all over the world,
I still hate it!

[Rerun]

I have tried all that positive thinking crap and I would rather not deny my feelings and just let them out.

                 

[jbeany]

I know I am super lucky to be at my unit, I have amazing staff who I love so much! And Even though I'm excited to get listed soon, I will miss my d-unit!

The horror stories on here always made me glad for the vast majority of my staff at my centers.  But having had a recent transplant, I have to say - NOPE - I don't miss the unit!  I have gone to visit, I have stayed in touch, especially with one tech in particular who I always used to spend most of the run chatting with when she was working.  But we can talk on the phone or go to lunch without going anywhere near the center!

Hang on to that attitude, though, Lady Star!  Positive patients do better and have less stress along the way.  The healthier you stay, the better you will do when you do get the transplant.

[hurlock1]

I'm with ya! I go to dialysis as if it was  job, with people who seem to care about me, that I care for as well.

[Rerun]

Let Medicare go bankrupt and see who shows up for work to care about you.

Sorry, but get real.

[fc2821]

          It is what you make it.  Nothing more and nothing less.   If you want to be negtive, then it is.   If you choose to be positive, then it is.   

[KICKSTART]

It does not matter that dialysis keeps me alive,
Nor does it matter that being on dialysis has brought me friends all over the world,
I still hate it!

My sentiments exactly!!!

[Ang]

i've  been  volunteering  my  time  at   dialysis  for  the  the  last 3.5 years to  reward  me  for  my  volunteer  work,  they   kindly  allow  me  to  do  5 hours  of  treatment

[dwcrawford]

I don’t think most of us really like the process of the dialysis treatment.  I’d bet that Ladystardust would agree.  As Rob said, it is what you make it.  And there is not certainty that positive thinking makes your health any better.  There is certainty that it makes you feel better and deal with life better.  At the same time, there is an absolute that hate and negativity fills your rmind and soul (if not your body) with toxins and adds to the problems already there over which we have little control.  I feel better when I get rid of those emotions.  No polyana here as I admit that  anger and hatred pop up often.  I don’t like them because they take up  energy I can better use.   I try and replace negatives and hatred with positive feelings and love just as soon as I can.

You know, there is little we can do to help each other.  Advice and common experiences shared are good and sometimes the first level of support.  But in the end we must rely upon our Team of medical professional for information.   What we could do is continue to offer positive support reinforcement, and also most importantly friendship.  A little love wouldn’t hurt either.

Please don’t take offense.  This is only my opinion – you know, the way I feel about this topic.

[hurlock1]

Let Medicare go bankrupt and see who shows up for work to care about you.

Sorry, but get real.

You just want to argue. I guess that's ok. I don't think that those here that seem to have a "positive attitude" are wrong. I learned a long time ago not to try and fight battles that I couldn't possibly win. It's pointless. You can be angry or satisfied. It's your choice. I mean it's like taking poison and expecting the other guy to die. I don't think that people with a "positive attitude" are not "real". I think that people with a piss poor attitude need to get a dose of getting real. If Medicare goes bankrupt, we'll just have to deal with that when the time comes. I think, no, I'm sure, that sometime in the relatively near future, something will happen and all the systems will break down. no food, no water, anarchy; those left will have to make it on their own. When asked, "How are you doing?", I used to answer with, "Great!" Now I honestly answer with "Not horrible" You can imagine that you are looking at things with a realistic point of view, but in truth, you are the one that has an attitude that isn't real. Get real.

[dwcrawford]

Hurlock, We do not know what Rerun and others are going through.  I think it is just as wrong for us to criticize them as for them to criticized us for thinking thinking positive.  We should be encouraging them instead of of talking like this.  I know.  I've been quite guilty in the past.  But we have to let each person have and express their own feelings.  Tell how you feel and deal with it.  It is kind of like religion (heaven forbid I should meantion that) in that living it is far more powerful than preaching it.  And if the truth be told, I suspect that at any given moment in time our own perspectives my different from + to -.  I need to think more about that....

God, I am turning into a Pollyanna...  Help me!  Lil

But truthfully, Rerun, if Jack in the Box goes broke, who will show up to make us tacos?

No intent to offend anyone.  I mainly think out loud when I post in here.

[del]

Some people have a really rough time with dialysis physically or mentally or both.  Everyone has to deal with it n their own way. For some people it is to hate it with a passion . For others it is to accept it as a part of their daily life and move on.  Hubby has accepted it as part of his life and has moved on. That doesn't mean that there aren't days when he hates the thought of hoking up to the machine but he knows the consequences if he doesn't hook up.  He has chosen to be an active member in his treatment and that really helps. He does not actually LOVE dialysis but he has lived a very full life for the 13 years he has been on dialysis.  He is more thankful for dialysis I think than actually loving it!!  Most times he doesn't even think about dialysis until it is time to hook up.  Just my 

[dwcrawford]

I understand del, but all I am saying is that Hate is poison to the mind if not to the body (and I suspect it is).  I wouldn't fault those who hate but rather try to make them see that hate doesn't help anything.   I know, because many times I hate it.  It brings me down and grows causing me to hate other things and to look for faults in everything.  It is like "an apology" or a "forgiveness".  It is worth far more to your mental  health than to those to whom you are apologizing or forgiving.

This is only my opinion at this moment in time.

[Ladystardust24]

Let Medicare go bankrupt and see who shows up for work to care about you.

Sorry, but get real.

You just want to argue. I guess that's OK. I don't think that those here that seem to have a "positive attitude" are wrong. I learned a long time ago not to try and fight battles that I couldn't possibly win. It's pointless. You can be angry or satisfied. It's your choice. I mean it's like taking poison and expecting the other guy to die. I don't think that people with a "positive attitude" are not "real". I think that people with a piss poor attitude need to get a dose of getting real. If Medicare goes bankrupt, we'll just have to deal with that when the time comes. I think, no, I'm sure, that sometime in the relatively near future, something will happen and all the systems will break down. no food, no water, anarchy; those left will have to make it on their own. When asked, "How are you doing?", I used to answer with, "Great!" Now I honestly answer with "Not horrible" You can imagine that you are looking at things with a realistic point of view, but in truth, you are the one that has an attitude that isn't real. Get real.

It's nice to see how many opinions there are on what I said, I've been taught in life to never push my own beliefs on others, and i don't like it when others do it to be, I also don't like when someone takes my positivity as being "unreal". I think thats something that really didn't have to be said like that. My whole point had nothing to do with medicare or anything. It had to do with the point, yes life does give you crappy situations.. but you know what? you just have to admit "yes this is crappy, this is not what I might have seen myself doing right now, but I have no choice, i need to find a way to cope with it that helps me deal, and move on with life, because everything shall pass." if anyone thinks that at 20 I rather sit around at dialysis for 15 hours a week.. no. I rather not.I rather not have needles all the time.. I rather not have to watch every single drop I drink or eat.. But this is what I have to do. Yea, I did have times where I wanted to say "f--k it..I don't want to do this anymore.." but then I realize telling myself those things, living in a pity party isn't helping ME... they are just making a crappier situation,worse. I might not have a choice in how things in life turn out, but I do have a choice how I react to them. When you chose to stay negative, in the end, you are just hurting yourself. Yea, we ALL have moments of "wow why me? and my situation SUCKS".. but it is a personal choice to stay in that mindset. When I was severely depressed, i realized it. and I realized "I don't want to be upset anymore, I want to get better.I can help myself in this situation" so I told my staff and my therapist. And we all worked together to help myself. If you sit here, and try to tell me i am not "Real" because I do hold a positive attitude, then you have to think to yourself "okay, so how do I feel saying that? does it make me feel better to think of the glass half empty and try to bring others to the same thing?" Because, for me? If i saw someone who did not feel good about their life situation,whatever that may be.. I would say "how can I help you feel better? how can I be your friend?" thats really why IHD is here. Yea, medicare sucks,dialysis sucks,needles suck,lying exes suck,doing h.w for the next 2 hours sucks,not having shia lebouf here feeding me grapes and professing his undying love for me here sucks.. not to mention the zillion other things in this world that suck... Are we seriously going to sit here and be upset about every single one of them? And if thats your thing, good luck with it.Me? I'm going to think about how lucky I am to be able to get life substaining dialysis, when some don't have that. I will think how lucky I am to have so many people who love me, how lucky that I have wacky friends and family that do make a crappy life situation a little more bearable and a little more happier. 

[fc2821]

      Ladystardust24, well stated.  I       you  for your attitude.   
      All we have is each other, and we have to be there for each other.  We may not  actually know one another except here, but who else knows what we are going through than those who go through it like us?  Who better then to be there when we need support?   You may have friends and family, but they don't go through what you have to go through.   The people here, do.   

[Zach]

      Ladystardust24, well stated.  I       you  for your attitude.   
       

 

[dwcrawford]

omg, i think i'm in love with Ladystardust2, too.

[cariad]

I think it's wonderful to look on the bright side whenever possible. It was hardly possible for me when I was on dialysis, unless someone can think of a positive surrounding vomiting uncontrollably every single session, migraines, and a rash.

If a nurse or doctor were to yell at me, though, it would be the last thing they do as my nurse or doctor. That is unprofessional and abusive, and I fully agree with the people who say it is wrong. I have been in this situation way too many times - never again. And heaven help the medical person who yells at one of my children and then tries to argue that they just care too much. But perhaps you did not mean 'yell' literally?

I hope you can hang onto your attitude, it really will see you through a lot, but also forgive yourself for the days when you cannot find the positives anywhere.

[Ladystardust24]

Well most of the time.. yea not "literally" but our units really different than others I have been to, I have spent most of my life around these doctors/nurses.. and many of them have become like family. The few times(luckily!) that they really had yelled at me.. was under very good reason, I had done things I should have not done, and I could have really really not made it through because of what I did(or actually) didn't do. I almost went septic due to my choices. And I'm really glad I did have a doctor who really did yell at me and do that whole "mothery/disapline" thing. Otherwise, I wouldn't have understood the severity in my actions.. hence not learning from it, and learning not to do it again. I have known my doctors/nurses since I was a little kid.. so they are like my extended..parents to say, I think some of us think differently about things, and for me, when my staff does try to be "parent-like" it HAS made a impact on my life. My dad does do his "thang" but lucky for myself, he did get help from my medical staff... I think it;s really how you think about "yelling". Yes, she was very pissed off.. she knew, that I knew better than how I had acted and treated myself. and of course she was upset at this. From a totally personal point, I am so glad I do have medical people who do care enough about me to be parental figures, to really have given it to me when I did something that could have really put my life in danger. She actually then came back and told me she was sorry for yelling at me, but she sat with me and told me she didn't want to see anything happen to me, and that she understood what could have provoke what had happen.. it was nice to know that. And there was another time where I had done soemthing realllyy bad.. and she didnt yell at me. in fact she gave me a hug and sat down with me..and listened and they all organized all the help I needed, and they made sure I was OK the whole time through. We really are like a family unit at our unit.. haha my good friend brianna who has visited us, can tell you. we are a kooky awesome bunch! lol.

[del]

I understand del, but all I am saying is that Hate is poison to the mind if not to the body (and I suspect it is).  I wouldn't fault those who hate but rather try to make them see that hate doesn't help anything.   I know, because many times I hate it.  It brings me down and grows causing me to hate other things and to look for faults in everything.  It is like "an apology" or a "forgiveness".  It is worth far more to your mental  health than to those to whom you are apologizing or forgiving.

This is only my opinion at this moment in time.

I hate the word "hate" dan!! There is always some good to be seen in everything.  Always have to try to find the bright side of things even when that bright side is a very faint glimmer!!