Rant - Some People Dont Share Well

[Bub]

Big game in Oklahoma, OU vs. OSU. Saturday, Dialysis day for me.

I get there and sit in my share.  The only tv in the room not tuned to the game is the tv I share with the guy sitting next to me.  He has been in control of the remote ever since being set next to me.   I patiently watch Jerry Springer, Maury Povitch, and teenage mutant ninja turtles with out complaint.  In six months I have never asked to watch anything --- completely up to him.

The conversation:
Me: Lets watch the Ou game.
Him: No
His Wife (she happened to be standing there): Oh let him watch the game, he never asks to watch anything.
Him: No, I want to watch this game, its better.
Me: Fuming, I shut up
Ten mintues pass
Him: ******(Snore)*******

He would not let me watch a game I had intense interest in so he could watch his game that was so interesting that he fell asleep almost immediately.

[dwcrawford]

That's crap.  Can you possible report him to  some anti obscenity league for watching spring and povich?

Truthfully, couldn't you go to radio shack and get a cheap remote, take it in on a non D days and set it to that TV?  I bet somebody could.  Ask Chris how.

[Bub]

Actually I have a remote to the tv.  I just let him watch what he wants and let him control the tv because its such a big thing to him.  The tech was standing there and said he could make him share 50-50, but that would mean a hissyfit from him so what the heck.

Really I blame the center for making us share a tv.  Its not like they dont get enough money from us to afford them.  All the other centers in my area have a tv per chair and some have lap top computers at each chair.

[Rerun]

In my center we each have a TV, but it is attached to the ceiling so if you have any vision problems you are screwed!  That is why I take my own DVD player.

Take a DVD player and get a comedy and head phones and just sit there and laugh out LOUD the whole 4 hours!  That will make him NUTS!

Sorry, I'm all about revenge!   

[sutphendriver]

sound like you need to jerk him around by the short curly's until he learns how to share.......

[fc2821]

  Bub you are a very patient fellow.  I have to complement you for putting up with that rude guy.  The natural urge would be to make him eat his chair.

[willowtreewren]

Bub,
Although you have behaved as a true gentleman, be careful of keeping your emotions locked up. I think I might have a serious talk with him and just outline what happened, just as you did here.

Perhaps he will realize the rudeness of his ways, but if not, at least you have had your say.

Aleta

[paris]

Bub, you are a sweet guy.  Some people will never admit they are rude and he sounds like one of them.  I have family who thought the OU vs OSU was the only game that day, so I understand your frustration!   Thank goodness for nice people like you!   

[billybags]

Some people are so selfish. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you will be watching the match, because your nephew is in it Lie!

[VeloTypo]

Two things, you should let him know that he needs to share, you deserve to watch what you want sometimes!!!!
And second, the Unit should supply a TV for each Chair! You insurance is paying way to much for them not to!

[Stacy Without An E]

Sitting next to unreasonable people is status quo for most Dialysis clinics and its unfortunate you have to put up with it.

You have a few options when it comes to this situation.  They started sitting me next to this loud, obnoxious. boorish redneck who thought everyone in the clinic should hear every ignorant thing he had to say.

I'm trying to enjoy a great movie on my portable DVD player (I couldn't survive Dialysis without it) and this neanderthal is screaming about some special he bought at Wal-Mart.  And now he wants to tell EVERYONE.

I went to the front desk and spoke to the woman who does the scheduling and filed a complaint against the patient, saying I didn't want to be seated next to him anymore.

I can still hear him, but he's on the other side of our forty chair clinic.  Problem solved.

Speak up for yourself and be proactive,  If you're in a professional clinic that cares for the patient welfare during treatment, they should try to do everything they can to make you comfortable.

You're forced to deal with assholes at every turn on a daily basis in this country.  You shouldn't have to suffer through them at Dialysis too.

[Hanify]

Some people are so selfish. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you will be watching the match, because your nephew is in it Lie!

Billybags!! I am shocked at you lol.  But what a FANTASTIC idea!

[peleroja]

That is classic Dog in the Manger, straight out of Aesop.  A dog was cold and tired and crawled into a manger full of hay and fell asleep.  He woke up when some cows approached to eat the hay.  The dog started snarling and barking.  He couldn't eat the hay, but he would be damned if he'd let anyone else be happy by eating it!  Any possibility of either changing shifts or sitting somewhere net to someone who might be willing to share?

[MissyKew]

request a change of chairs or start bringing in a lap top computer (if they have WiFi) and watch TV programs on that.  many of the networks allow you to watch show episodes online.  You may even be able to watch games online.

[Epofriend]

Big game in Oklahoma, OU vs. OSU. Saturday, Dialysis day for me.

The conversation:
Me: Lets watch the Ou game.
Him: No
His Wife (she happened to be standing there): Oh let him watch the game, he never asks to watch anything.
Him: No, I want to watch this game, its better.
Me: Fuming, I shut up
Ten mintues pass
Him: ******(Snore)*******

He would not let me watch a game I had intense interest in so he could watch his game that was so interesting that he fell asleep almost immediately.

So, when he fell asleep did you change the channel?

[pamster42000]

I was just going to ask the same question

[fc2821]

  I wodered that myself. I hope you did. I know I would have.

[RichardMEL]

Bub you're a saint.

At least his wife was on your side - she seems reasonable. What a selfish freakin pig. I do agree with the tech though that sort of jerk would have a hissy fit (and then fall asleep 10 minutes later) just because... it's not about the TV per se or what's on it - it's about *control* I reckon. This guy probably feels that he has lost control of most aspects of his life(because of kidney failure/dialysis) and any little way he can assert himself (like with the TV) is a victory for him and one way he can win back some sort of control. And that sucks, because you have to put up with it.

We have a similar guy in our unit. He's older (over 70) and *DEMANDS* the remote control (our unit has ceiling mounted TV's with  shared TV's 1 to 2 chairs - sounds a bit like your setup) however for some reason there's only like 3 remotes in the unit for approx 7 or 8 tv's (I think some got stolen??? WTF). Anyway so this guy comes in and simply DEMANDS he have the remote (he also demands the big chair, and god knows what else). He has a hissy fit if he can't have the bloody remote, so we've all learned to give him the freakin remote (if I find it on my table I take it to him automatically - I have a laptop and almost never watch the TV so I don't care what he does - so he does the whole control thing and if I happen to be in a chair under a TV and he's nearby he "helpfully" turns my TV off too.. lol. hey whatever floats his boat I guess).

Again I think it is a control thing. Some people are like that and get very unreasonable about small/petty things. It's best to just let these jerks have their own way because the scenes they'd create if they don't get their way - it's just not worth it to anyone.. and that's sad these kinds of people are allowed to get their way I know.. but because in the overall scheme of things it's so minor it's not worth causing the agro about it.

I still think you're a saint though, Bub.

[Bub]

 
Yes I did change the channel when he fell asleep.  I wish I were the saint or gentleman as some of you have wrongly imagined.  In fact, I am merely passive-agressive.

[fc2821]

Yes I did change the channel when he fell asleep.  I wish I were the saint or gentleman as some of you have wrongly imagined.  In fact, I am merely passive-agressive.

         
           

[billybags]

Shall we all give you a little shake. Any way did you enjoy what little you watched? I bet you felt guilty about changing the channel.

[Goofy]

Bub, WOW you really are a nice person!  I "try" to be nice to people BUT if you are not nice to me, than I'm not always nice to you.  People at work think I'm so "nice" but I can be not so nice sometimes!!

This situation sounds like my friend and her husband.  She has catered to him and always gave him his way.  Now, 25 years later, she can't stand it.  He has gotten more and more selfish over the years. 

That kinda sounds like your guy.  Sounds like maybe the wife and others around him give him his way all the time.  Yes, like Richard said, I feel sorry for those type of people that feel like they have to be in control constantly. They generally don't have much in their life so control is the only way for them to feel good.

BUT, enough is enough.  You are willing to "share" and that's the proper thing.  I would tell his guy that he may be able to push other people around but not you.  The more and more people get away with that, the worse they get.

I'm kind of like you.  I will try to be as cooperative as you but you can only push me so far.

And if I were you, I would not feel bad saying you want 50/50 TV time.  You are willing to compromise but this guy isn't.  As far as I'm concerned, that's his problem, not yours.

If I kept going along with this guy, I know one day I would just go nuts and really tell him off.  Since you have to deal with him on a constant basis, you don't want it to come to that.

You have to pick your battles.  I'm sure you don't sit there and complain about everything the guy does.  Its just this one little thing that will make your day a little easier and that guy needs to learn that.

Please tell us you are able to get some TV time.........

[RichardMEL]

Goofy makes a very good point I think. This guy gets his way because he's using the obnoxious factor to get it - he knows that most people would rather give him what he wants than put up with him being a jerk, and I'm sure he would be just getting more and more selfish because well.. his way works for him. That stinks to me, but it is a bit of human psychology.

See if it was me next to you and you said you wanted 50/50 on the TV I'd say "that's fair enough" and be happy with that. However that's me - I like to think I'm very fair minded like that. This guy though... it's not really about the TV I reckon. it's about control(as I said earlier) but also it's about him getting his way - even if he then falls asleep 5 minutes later - he could care less about that but he got his way so all is well with the world. I bet if you'd changed the TV channel when he fell asleep but he woke up 30 minutes later and the game was on he'd have a fit because the TV had been changed. Even if it was reasonably pointed out that he fell asleep that's not the point.

That kind of person would drive me nuts just from the attitude and like Goofy says I'd probably be nice and let him have his way until I totally lost it over something small and went to town on the guy... LOL....

Still reckon you're a saint Bub!

[Bub]

Lots of replies and advice.  Thank you all for your interest.  On a closing note my potassium got high and I had to come in for an extra session Monday.  Sat in a different chair in a different room  The lady sitting next to me was watching CSI (fine by me) but after two episodes she turned to me and said "your turn"!  I asked if she minded if I watched Judge Judy (my favorite).  She replied, "Its your turn you can watch what ever you like".  That made my day.

Another brief note, RichardMel, you are a wise man with a good understanding of human nature.  Its not really whats on for him, but control.  I too feel that sense of loss of control with my life and can understand to some degree.

And no I didn't feel guilty about changing the channel.  I was too irritated (which may be too mild of a word).

[dwcrawford]

For a few days now, the lady next to me nor I had sound on our TV --  even through  the heeadphones.  We watched some shows with the Caption option.  Now that gives you a new perspective.  I mean, if we had no hearing then what.  Actually I am starting to like it that way... still have a computer for music, etc. though.