Hang in there Karen.
I agree it's not the kidney for you. It is really difficult when donors are rejected or back out. I have had both happen. I was devastated. I began to think differently of Live donors, I just couldn't go through the disappointment again. I got on with dialysis and just did everything to remain on the "waiting list". It paid off. I received a cadaveric 5/6 antigen match transplant on the 13th July. Your kidney is out there... just waiting for the right time.