DECREASE IN SEXUAL DRIVE...

[dwcrawford]

Hehe, maritz... you can always count on richard to post if you put SEX in the heading. 

[maritza0486]

Hehe, maritz... you can always count on richard to post if you put SEX in the heading.

LOL. That's really funny. Hey, it's all good. No problem with that here. Sex is a wonderful topic. 

[okarol]

You might find this other thread helpful http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=8481.0

[maritza0486]

You might find this other thread helpful http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=8481.0

Thanks for the link Karol. It was very interesting. It is such a tremendous feeling just knowing that there are people who understand exactly what you are going through. There is actually a dialysis patient who is 23 and in the same shift as me. We have connected ever since we found out our ages were the same. I informed him about this website and I do hope that he creates an account and joins us.

Getting back to this thread on sex, I wanted to know if any of you know if there are pills that women can also take in order to increase the desire and libido. If there is, are we recommended to take it as dialysis patients? It would be nice. I do feel that it is rather unfair that sex is usually directed mainly at men (pornography the majority of the time and erectile dysfunction medications). I must admit I am somewhat of a feminist but overall, I do feel that the situation is unfair. We already have to experience so many difficulties and frustrations in life such as the menstrual cycle and pregnancy and all that jazz. It is rough. I guess we should thank Eve for causing this (lol). But anyway, thanks again to all of you who posted on this thread. I really appreciate the comments and opinions.

[dwcrawford]

If I were the type to pick arguments and cause controversy, I would say "quit your whiming.  You women have the best of everything (well almost)".  But since I'd never say anything like that for fear to starting something, I'll just go on to the next thread.

[RichardMEL]

Dan! You're just stiring the pot now!!!

I do think that sometimes women's sexual needs, in general, can be overlooked - or perhaps misunderstood. I wonder if there is much research into that sort of thing. It's funny(well not funny, but you know what I mean) how sometimes there's stuff out there that says things like "some women can never achieve orgasm" and it's sort of left there as in "wel that's life" kind of thing rather than "well that sucks! we need to try and figure out how to help with that!"

I suppose in a way a male's "problems" are more obvious and outward (ie: it's pretty easy to tell when a guy can't get an erection, or has premature ejactulation, or whatever) but for women it's all kind of hidden away and that may be part of it.

Also note I have some female friends who suffer depression and that also goes a long way to killing sexual drive and also satisfaction - specially those on antidepressants and the like. As we all know kidney disease and depression (of varying degrees) can often go hand in hand which definitely doesn't help.

And yes, we're all mature adults here (well except the younger ones reading, and we hope they're not reading THIS thread!!!) and should be able to discuss this stuff in a rational and mature way. It's not crude or pornographic or anything like that (I save those ones for my private conversations!!!  ) and brings up issues a lot of us have to deal with in one way or another - so I'm happy to contribute.

[Hanify]

Hey Richardmel - were you not born in Australia?  You sound so thoughtful for an Aussie bloke!!

[RichardMEL]

dinky-di aussie here!!!! 

I'm thoughtful like most aussie blokes.. I think about women, sex and beer!!! 

[dwcrawford]

Just joking Richard.  As I usually do.  Sorry.  Don't think people would appreciate my real ideas on this subject (as usually they don't appreciate anything serious I try to say) so I make a silly joke obvious enough that most everyone would know I was stirring the pot so to speak.  Can't be funny... can't state my real feeling about stuff  ... actuallly should not particiipate in online exchanges.  Should have seen that months ago.

[RichardMEL]

Dan.. seriously.. what the?

Why on earth would you feel you can't contribute your opinions (serious or otherwise) in this forum? Of course you can - and should!!! Your ideas and opinions (like mine) are just as valuable as anyone else's. I was joking right back when I said you were stiring the pot. Please don't take what I wrote to heart!

We want, and need, your contributions!! Don't you dare run off on us!!!

So say what you think!!!! There are no right or wrong answers I reckon - specially in the topic of this thread - it's all opinions!!!

[napala turki]

thanks to all for the feedback given, it seem I'm not alone here, but lately, I'm feeling slightly positive, because the morning called flag did raised. Pray hard to God for the better.

[maritza0486]

If I were the type to pick arguments and cause controversy, I would say "quit your whiming.  You women have the best of everything (well almost)".  But since I'd never say anything like that for fear to starting something, I'll just go on to the next thread.

Trust me, everyone has their comments and opinions. It is not picking an argument. You can share whatever you like. You already started something by stating the "quit your whining. You women have the best of everything (well almost)" comment. It is ok if you feel that way. I do not have any problem with that. I feel the way I do and nobody can change that and that goes the same for you. Trust me, I am very fortunate to have a wonderful boyfriend who tries his ultimate best to get me to achieve orgasm. I appreciate him so very much and am so very happy to be with him. I am just not happy to be age 23 and not be able to achieve orgasm ever! It has not happened since....i cannot even remember. LOL. I am a very positive individual and I generally do not have any complaints or whining about anything. This is a minor problem and I can deal with it since I have been dealing with it as it is.

Life is beautiful and the Lord has blessed me so very much. I could not ask for anything more. Yeah, I mentioned I am a bit of a feminist but I am completely openminded to so many things. I am happy. Yes, happy. A lot of people cannot say they are happy. Genuinely happy at least. My family and I struggle really hard to pay bills and of course none of us are perfect, but I am still happy to at least have food and shelter provided to me.  Thanks again for attempting to share your opinion but do not be withheld with whatever is on your mind. I am all eyes and ears. 

[dwcrawford]

opinion   no
joke  yes
like dialogue in lieu of sermons
just me

[dwcrawford]

Richard, response to your PM.. I don't consider my self to be less intelligent than anybody, at least most of the people, in here.  Older yes.

I cannot make jokes with out people coming down on me and say "your opinion" "my god", etc.  Anyone who knows me know the comment about women was a joke and that I was  hoping some of my friends like Twirl and KitKat and Gma, etc. would pick up on it and give me a hard time.  Since I got a rather serious response, I said "so I can't try funny anymore".  I've tried some serious the past  few days due to my mood and attitude about getting ready to quit dialysis.  I don't know answer.  I want dialogue.  Not expert opinions or internet links.  So I'm out of the things serious.  I guess I could go post some smilies but the all look alike to me.

[monrein]

dw, I think I "get" you most the time and it's important to me that I do,  but if ever I post something and you think I missed the mark, either thought you were joking when you weren't or you were serious when you were just tugging on a leg please please please let me know.  PM me or right in the thread say whatever it is.  Without facial expressions, tone of voice and all the other subtleties it's easy to misread things. 

[dwcrawford]

I just told you I think... my comment about women was for fun  to give Twirl and Kits and some of the funny people something to get on to me about.

[Lucinda]

DW...Down boy...We oldies get it when you are joking.  Young lady putting her feelings about something important on the line here...choose your target more wisely buddy!

Hey sweetie.  Try some meditation.  Start at your toes, work up your body and then when it comes to your sexual organs, just really concentrate on that area.  Visualise the sensations in that area and totally relax.  There are meditation tapes available for exactly the problem you are experiencing.

Can I tell you something that I doubt will fail for you....tantric sex.  After two hours of following of experiencing tantra I would defy anyone not to reach the ultimate release.  It is the science of ecstasy and if you buy a couple of books and learn how to really fully experience tantra you will probably totally turn your back on anything else. I started practicing tantra at about your age and it really is mindblowing - even now - even with kidney disease there is no better sex.  Give it a go. xx

[Des]

Richard, response to your PM.. I don't consider my self to be less intelligent than anybody, at least most of the people, in here.  Older yes.

I cannot make jokes with out people coming down on me and say "your opinion" "my god", etc.  Anyone who knows me know the comment about women was a joke and that I was  hoping some of my friends like Twirl and KitKat and Gma, etc. would pick up on it and give me a hard time.  Since I got a rather serious response, I said "so I can't try funny anymore".  I've tried some serious the past  few days due to my mood and attitude about getting ready to quit dialysis.  I don't know answer.  I want dialogue.  Not expert opinions or internet links.  So I'm out of the things serious.  I guess I could go post some smilies but the all look alike to me.

Sorry I know its off topic. But I had to respond.

" I've tried some serious the past  few days due to my mood and attitude about getting ready to quit dialysis. "


NO NO NO you just go on doing the D .... DO YOU HEAR ME  ! (rant off)

I am "new" here and cannot wait to read your replies to some of the posts... I can actually picture the sparkle in your eye ... when I can clearly see you yanking someones chain.... I LOVE IT!
I really really really do not want you to stop D. I know it is not for me to say but I just need to say it. OK? 
 

[RichardMEL]

whoa I think things have gone downhill when they just didn't need to.

A reminder of some real lessons in internet land - first of all - without making it obvious that something is intended to be humourous it is easy for a misunderstanding to occur, as seems to have happened here. As already said when you don't have voice nuances or anything else to go on it's sometimes not so obvious with the written word and sometimes you have to hit us over the head with it so it's clear.

This is not a dig at you Dan - it's just trying to remind all of us that while we may be very clear in our minds what WE mean sometimes for others, specially those that don't "know" us that well (in an online sense in this community) then then things can not go as intended.

Anyway I hadn't seen any of your(Dan) posts about thinking about quitting Dialysis. I must find that thread and respond in the right place - other than to say "don't!" you certainly have too much to live for in my view, and that comment about the sparkle in your eye is so dead on!!!

Now back on topic... tantric sex? Well miss Lucinda you continue to surprise!!!! Not quite trantric sex but I remember many moons ago actually before kidney failure was a worry for me one of the best orgasms I ever ever had did not involve intercourse, and no it was not by myself lol.. it was with someone special and well wasn't tantric per se, but it did prove to me once and for all you don't HAVE to have all the grunting and thrusting to get to the end goal... and it was awesome.

[Des]

oh my!?

(Blushing)

One is never to old to learn.
too scared to ask.....

Tantric sex?

(if is to graphic to say it here .... then rather don't answer)

[monrein]

http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/tantric/tantricsex.html

Great suggestion Cindy.  A person can also begin to "practice" some of the principles of tantric sex by themselves (altho of course the end goal is greater intimacy and better sex with a partner) by masturbating slowly but stopping as as one approaches orgasm.  Then hold on to the energy of the moment by stroking oneself but letting the climax impulse subside.  Then build back up to that point again and so on.  The delaying of the orgasm can result in a much more satisfying outcome.

Orgasm per se is not however the goal of tantric sex.  Connection, intimacy, relaxation and yes health are the goals.  Mind blowing orgasms are just the amazing side effect. 
Caution:  requires a male partner who is also prepared to learn the art of the slow build and of the back-off from overt stimulation in order to build a higher level of stimulation.   Impatient types will have trouble.  Tantric is the extreme opposite of "a quickie".  Each has its place.

[dwcrawford]

I'll hit 70 in one more year and I've never heard of Tantric sex.  Is it too late for me to put in on my bucket list?

Richard, there was an old song and singer (I'm thinking Peggy Lee was her name) who sang the lyrics "Is that all there is?  If that's all there is then lets keep dancing."

Looked for emotions but non fit.  All meant literally.

[Des]

http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/tantric/tantricsex.html

Great suggestion Cindy.  A person can also begin to "practice" some of the principles of tantric sex by themselves (altho of course the end goal is greater intimacy and better sex with a partner) by masturbating slowly but stopping as as one approaches orgasm.  Then hold on to the energy of the moment by stroking oneself but letting the climax impulse subside.  Then build back up to that point again and so on.  The delaying of the orgasm can result in a much more satisfying outcome.

Orgasm per se is not however the goal of tantric sex.  Connection, intimacy, relaxation and yes health are the goals.  Mind blowing orgasms are just the amazing side effect. 
Caution:  requires a male partner who is also prepared to learn the art of the slow build and of the back-off from overt stimulation in order to build a higher level of stimulation.   Impatient types will have trouble.  Tantric is the extreme opposite of "a quickie".  Each has its place.

Thanks Monrein

I will look into it......... with this low sex drive "quickies" are as scares as cupcakes in an orphinage.

[dwcrawford]

DW...Down boy...We oldies get it when you are joking.  Young lady putting her feelings about something important on the line here...choose your target more wisely buddy!

Yes, I will take that advise.  I've always  thought the more serious topics, like politics, relationship, religion, and possiblly sex were the ones that needed humor.  I stand corrected.  I'm not  much in the mood for posting lighter comments these days anyway so I'm  really losing nothing.  And the serious issues I need to discuss are not the kind that should be posted among strangers -- as we all are in reality.  (except a few of you who socialize in  person).
I know on occasion I've felt a special bond with some of the people we talk to in here, but then I read things so contradictory to my own beliefs.  Not an issue of disagrements but rather an issue of core beliefs.  We make each other (without the personal meetings) into the perfect friends or even, at times the perfect enemy.

Oh,  we do that at the street level.  We just have a different name for it... (trantric  I  mean)

[monrein]

You are gonna tell us the street level name for tantric, right dw?  And I'll wait until you feel more like posting lighter, humourous comments again (I hope you get back to your former cheeky self) because I enjoy them.  Come to think of it, I did laugh out loud when I read the last sentence of your post.

Oh,  we do that at the street level.  We just have a different name for it... (trantric  I  mean)

EDITED: Fixed quote tag - okarol/admin