Bringing back Things to do While on Dialysis Thread

[annabanana]

 

[peleroja]

When I was on hemo for 3 months, my center allowed us to bring videos, so I would always bring videos from my extensive collection, and it was funny to see the tv's turning one by one to the video channel just because it was something different!

[kitkatz]

My center allows videos and DVDs too.  Sometimes I get to see first run movies while they are still in theaters.  Shhh! Don't tell. They get peaved at my old sci fi movies I bring in to watch. Hehehe!

[BigSteve]

Hey Kitkatz, I know you not in the same hemo unit as I am, unless you are driving 80 miles
to get to Long Beach, but I have the same "only in theaters" DVDs in my unit. Some of these bootlegs
have such poor quality I can't watch, others are movies I want to see on the big screen so I don't watch.

[okarol]

Things to do While on Dialysis 

- Practice dribbling a basketball

- Polish your fingernails on your access arm

- Dice

[twirl]

are you kidding

[okarol]

are you kidding

Yep 

[Mercurial]

TV gives you a sense of time--probably one of the last things I want a sense of during treatment...  I read a book, then zonk out for the rest of the run.  I'll do homework if I don't need a full desktop-sized area for the assignment.

[cherpep]

This thread seriously had me laughing out loud.  You guys are hilarious!!!

Gather as many blue line clamps as you can get your hands on and keep them hid until after you are on....
See how may clamps you can attach to the staff's lab coats without them knowing or while their back is turned...

That's great - it almost makes me want to go back to the clinic to try that.   Also, the other post that stated doing sign language to the guy across from you and pretend they understand what you are sayiing - it still has me chuckling. 

[kitkatz]

Nocturnal dialysis things to do:


I figure yelling in the middle of the night would be fun!
Fake snore really loudly.
Whenever the tech walks by be sure to ask for something.
Tell the tech a joke every time they come by.
Toss and turn in the chair.

[kellyt]

I guess sleep walking would not be smart, huh?  lol

[okarol]

More ideas here http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=1160.0 - probably best for home hemo or PD 

[Rerun]

Nocturnal.....

Wait until the tech is comfortable and then tell him you have to go to the bathroom.

When you hand him your temperature strip hang on to the bottom really tight so his hand slips up to your spit.  Really pisses them off!

[Jess21]

I just got this idea from the 4 month old puppy I'm watching (can you tell I've been busy?)
Bring something to dialyisis, and everytime the tech is busy doing something else, make the thing you brought go out of your reach (the floor, the next machine.. ) and have a FIT until they put the object back in your arm's lengh.  Repeat constantly.

[jbeany]

Nocturnal.....

Wait until the tech is comfortable and then tell him you have to go to the bathroom.

When you hand him your temperature strip hang on to the bottom really tight so his hand slips up to your spit.  Really pisses them off!

Don't forget to suck on an ice cube just before they take your temp so the thermo strip won't register anything.  Then they have to come back with another in 15 minutes. . .

[twirl]

count how many employees should have the lap band surgery
do not include patients
we have enough to worry about
 

[Wallyz]

count how many employees should have the lap band surgery
do not include patients
we have enough to worry about
 

\

Dude, that's cold.

Accurate, but cold.

[Wallyz]

Also- if you have an internet connection-

www.tinywarz.com

Yeah baby.

[twirl]

love that but we get no internet connection
lucky to get a 6 ounce cup of ice

[okarol]

One-Handed, Blind-Folded Cotton Ball Transfer

Spoons and steady hands required.

To set up the game, you need a bowl filled with cotton balls, a plate, a spoon, and a blindfold for each player.

Players blindfold themselves and using a spoon, try to transfer the most cotton balls in 30 seconds from the bowl to the plate.

Since this is one-handed, players can't use their other hand to keep their cotton balls on their spoons.

Whichever player transfers the most cotton balls wins.

Sounds like torture to me - maybe twirl could win some more bone bucks. 

[twirl]

Bone Bucks

1 buck per bleeding before leaving
2 bucks for patient who makes the biggest mess for tech to clean up------ can come out of any part of your body
1 buck per getting off to go to the restroom----- no need to void----- what you do in the restroom is private-- sometimes, it's nice to just stand up
3 bucks for making the neph doc yell the loudest during his visits---- especially Dr. Ne------d
BONUS BUCKS- only for the brave hearted---- ask for more ice after you have had your one allowed cup----- if you get it--- ask for another one-
                      whine if you have to, cry even   every extra cup is worth 2 bonus points

[dkerr]

Speaking of dogs . . . mine jumps up and down and throws a fit when I don't get up . . . this morning soiled on my bed . . . I wonder how they would react to that?

[twirl]

dkerr
I think that is so funny but glad it is your dog and not mine
you know it has almost happened
when I had diarrhea and had to go and the tech was mad and did not want to take me off
I would have been so humiliated
someone on this post once posted that is was a rule at their clinic that you can not get off to go to the restroom
wish I could remember the member's name

[monrein]

I've never seen anyone at my clinic disconnect to go to the bathroom.  No idea why.  I don't pee much any more but I've never ever had to go while hooked up, even when I used to do 5 hours way back when.

[okarol]

Redneck Playstation http://majman.net/fly_loader.html