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Author Topic: Hahaha! Funny Thought!  (Read 16003 times)
kitkatz
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« on: February 17, 2009, 04:24:10 PM »
Funny Dialysis Thought from Me


I started a fistula for the thrill of it!





No where else to put it.
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
monrein
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Might as well smile
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2009, 04:25:04 PM »
 :rofl;
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
David13
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A meow massages the heart.
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2009, 04:27:20 PM »
I like the way your mind works, Kit!   :rofl;
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“The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization” - Sigmund Freud
Sluff
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« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2009, 08:04:13 PM »
Pretty good.  :rofl;
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RichardMEL
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« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2009, 09:22:13 PM »
I made a kind of lame joke the other week at dialysis.

They brought me a tasty young med student (the staff know I like to "help" the young female ones...  :rofl;) and the nurse was explaining the machine to her then the needles and my fistula. So she got to the bit about the buzz and said here feel it (aparently I have a "really good" fistula) and guided Jessica's hand to my fistula to feel it. She's like "oh my!" and I quipped "I'm just so thrilled to see you Jessica!"

the nurse rolled her eyes. I think Jessica wanted to escape from the scary old man.....

 :shy;
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
kellyt
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« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2009, 11:24:22 PM »
I think we have our next t-shirt idea.    :thumbup;
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1993 diagnosed with glomerulonephritis.
Oct 41, 2007 - Got fistula placed.
Feb 13, 2008 - Activated on "the list".
Nov 5, 2008 - Received living donor transplant from my sister-in-law, Etta.
Nov 5, 2011 - THREE YEARS POST TRANSPLANT!  :D
breezysummerday
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« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2009, 12:22:31 AM »
Quote from: RichardMEL on February 17, 2009, 09:22:13 PM
I think Jessica wanted to escape from the scary old man....

Give her time RMelt.......you know, bees to honey         :bunny:
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caregiver to Ray
renal failure 6/08
listed 7/09
~thank you epoman~
circleNthedrain
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« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2009, 12:51:00 AM »
You crack me up kit!   You too RM!
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1979 Diagnosed with kidney failure
1979 Right arm fistula
1979 Start hemodialysis
1980 CAPD catheter
1980 Start CAPD
1989 Cadaveric kidney transplant
1995 2nd cadaveric  kidney transplant
2007 Start hemodialysis
2010 Still drawin' wind
twirl
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« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2009, 02:27:05 AM »
Richard --- is that a gun in your arm or are you glad to see me  :o

Kitkatz -- proof in writing -- you are crazy --- and a comedian   ::)
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kitkatz
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« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2009, 04:54:52 PM »
ESRD-  really means....

Enough sh**   alReady Dead!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
pelagia
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« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2009, 05:07:46 PM »
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; starting off the weekend with some laughs  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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As for me, I'll borrow this thought: "Having never experienced kidney disease, I had no idea how crucial kidney function is to the rest of the body." - KD
RichardMEL
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« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2009, 12:38:32 AM »
I did once try to joke with a nurse that "You know what they say about men with large fistulas..." (after she'd said mine was large)... unfortunately she was asian and I don't think quite understood what i was getting at....

 :shy;
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
pelagia
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« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2009, 04:01:00 AM »
Quote from: RichardMEL on February 21, 2009, 12:38:32 AM
I did once try to joke with a nurse that "You know what they say about men with large fistulas..." (after she'd said mine was large)... unfortunately she was asian and I don't think quite understood what i was getting at....

 :shy;

 :shy;
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As for me, I'll borrow this thought: "Having never experienced kidney disease, I had no idea how crucial kidney function is to the rest of the body." - KD
kitkatz
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« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2009, 01:37:32 PM »
With a straight face..... "So, what do they say about men with a large fistula?"  :shy;
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
twirl
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« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2009, 06:37:01 PM »
what do you do with your large fistula :waiting;
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kitkatz
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« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2009, 08:02:25 PM »
I am SCARED, now!   Or is that scarred for life?  :rofl;
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
RichardMEL
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« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2009, 03:04:55 AM »
hmm well it's big, it throbs and it's filled with blood......

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Logged


3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
monrein
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Might as well smile
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2009, 03:17:02 AM »
.....and I stick huge needles in it and let the blood circulate around for five hours at a time....hey, where are you off to?   :rofl;
Logged
Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
RichardMEL
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« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2009, 05:44:16 AM »
noooooo the line goes "You think THIS is a large needle? That's not a needle.... THIS is a needle...."  (ahem)

(remember what they say about men with large fistulas.....)
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
twirl
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« Reply #19 on: February 22, 2009, 06:24:00 AM »
Quote from: RichardMEL on February 22, 2009, 03:04:55 AM
hmm well it's big, it throbs and it's filled with blood......

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

oh no,,,,, am I transexual or transgender ---- I am female and I have a big, throbbing, filled with blood fistula
or am I bisexual ----- meaning female with throbbing fistual
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kitkatz
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« Reply #20 on: February 22, 2009, 10:26:14 AM »
Neither, you just craaazy!  :rofl;
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
MIbarra
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Stopping to smell the bluebonnets
« Reply #21 on: February 22, 2009, 10:15:32 PM »
 :rofl;  :clap; I should have come to this thread sooner. I needed the laugh!

Men with large fistulas!  :rofl;
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Cadaver transplant April 29, 2007
Tinah1968
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ME
« Reply #22 on: February 23, 2009, 10:18:05 AM »
 :clap; :clap; :rofl; :rofl; This was Great!!! Good Laughs.....
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Tina
Fistula Oct 2007
Started Dialysis May 22, 2009
Jess21
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WWW
« Reply #23 on: February 23, 2009, 11:30:03 AM »
Quote from: RichardMEL on February 17, 2009, 09:22:13 PM
I made a kind of lame joke the other week at dialysis.

They brought me a tasty young med student (the staff know I like to "help" the young female ones...  :rofl;) and the nurse was explaining the machine to her then the needles and my fistula. So she got to the bit about the buzz and said here feel it (aparently I have a "really good" fistula) and guided Jessica's hand to my fistula to feel it. She's like "oh my!" and I quipped "I'm just so thrilled to see you Jessica!"

the nurse rolled her eyes. I think Jessica wanted to escape from the scary old man.....

 :shy;

I would like to announce that it was NOT me feeling RM's fistula.  :rofl;
Logged
Hospitalized w/ renal failure- Nov. 2007
Diagnosed w/ ESRD w/ unknown cause- Jan 2008
Lower arm AV Fistula created- March 2008
On IL transplant list- Oct. 8th, 2008
On WI transplant list- June 25th, 2009
Pediatric 2 kidney transplant- July 6th, 2009 (3/6 antigen match)
RichardMEL
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« Reply #24 on: February 23, 2009, 03:50:44 PM »
Quote from: Jess21 on February 23, 2009, 11:30:03 AM
I would like to announce that it was NOT me feeling RM's fistula.  :rofl;

oh I dream of such an event.... in fact, I'd be so thrilled to even meet you.. well here I can prove it *extends arm with throbbing big fistula....*


 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :yahoo; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
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