What's available in terms of finanical help and/or living situations for us?

[alrightstill]

I know there are professinals that I can go to for advice on this, but I'd like to hear (if possible?) other people's situations first...

My situation is a bit weird.  I'm currently on medicare and medicaid and I dialyze 6 days a week at home with nxstage.  I'm 28 - and its just me, and my mom  (brother is overseas, father in the next town).  

I have a freelance job that I can do on the computer from home and on a good month brings in anywhere from an extra 2-4 hundred dollars a month on top of the disability I also receive every month. 

I have a car payment, phone payment, car insurance, cable bill, buy groceries, and I give some money to my mom for living in her home.

My question is - is there anything else that we or I could do?  Im so clueless when it comes to this stuff - but I figured you guys may or may not have been thru this situation so maybe you'd be able to shed some light.

Being 28 - maybe it's time I DO get my own place.  I have friends who have already offered to make it part of their daily routine in coming over to my house while I dialyze so I still have the "partner" thing.  A friend also suggested I look into Section 8 housing .. but I must admit that freaks me out a little because you always hear such horirble stories about section 8 housings.   Food stamps she said may be another option for me.  The friend also said since we're pretty much on permanent disability if there's a "waiting list" we get pushed to the head of the line or something?

I'm not that hard up for money (at the moment, though I dont have uch saved up at all)  but I need to start taking more of a stand in MY LIFE and not depend on my mom so much anymore.   

I'm sorry. I just hope when I read this post tomorrow it makes sense.  I popped an ambien CR about 20 mins ago and feel a little looopy - please forgive me!! 

[twirl]

you can live with your mom
28 is still so young and you do have health problems
shoud you live alone
Ang515 is about your same age
she may have helpful info
she will be 30, lives at home and has two children
try her
and
live with your mom
that is fine

[flip]

I'm a landlord with Section 8 houses and not aware of any problems. You would probably only qualify for a one bedroom apartment and the amount Section 8 would pay is based on your income.

[bolta72]

All section 8's are not bad, it all depends on the area.

[G-Ma]

I don't see why you can't live with your mom....I'm a mom and would have no problem with that as long as you help hold up your end of things as much as possible and it sounds like you do that.  You can probably have a nicer place together rather than separate if that is what you want and sounds like your friends are helping you too which is great.  Also, section 8 is only what people make it.  I have seen really nice section 8 places.  No matter what you do just make sure to be good to yourself always.
Ann

[annabanana]

You can probably get food stamps. I'd see about that, for sure.

If you move out, your mom will be living alone.  Maybe she really wants you to stay. I certainly would, being a mom.
But maybe you don't have the freedom you need, living with your mom. I certainly understand that, too, being a daughter.

If it's just your age making you think you need your own place, I would rethink it. People need each other and that's very much okay.

[thegrammalady]

i'm 57 and i live with my daughter. without her i'd be living under a bridge. we make pretty good roomates. i pay $400 "rent" toward expenses (no where near half) do the cooking, keep house (and play with my grandchildren) april feels that's a good contribution. section 8 housing in the denver area is at least 2 years even if i wanted my own place. but since april is seldom home, it's about the same.

[flip]

Section 8 is getting jammed up now. I get several calls a week from people who are approved but can't find houses. Most HUD apartments stay full too. I don't have any tenants who have been there less than 2 years.

[alrightstill]

Oh wow.  So a few spelling errors here and there but for being hopped up on ambien my post almost made complete sense!  ... Almost.   

Thank you all so so so much for the replies - and for the reassurance about section 8 housing not all being so bad.  I guess I fell victim to just seeing what I read in the paper as being what ALL places are like.   I'm sure like everyone said, it's not all that bad.

I love my mom, she has always been my rock and my best friend thru all of this - but lately we haven't been getting along at all, and it's actually been depressing me a little.  I always used to look at it as we were roommates because of how well we got along.  I don't know what the deal is lately though.. maybe it's menopause?     But she has been extremely moody and I seem to be her punching bag.. which I shouldn't take to heart but sometimes.. it just brings me down a bit.  I won't get into all of that here.. but it is good to know that there may be other options for me out there. 

Part of the problem too may be that we're living in a smallish apartment with 2 bedrooms, that when we moved in - she was nice enough to give me both of the bedrooms (one for myself, one for dialysis/supplies).  I know she feels like she has no privacy since she's been sleeping on a sofabed.. So maybe as someone suggested if we were to put our heads together and just get a bigger place -- together.  It can work out.  I have hope.

Thanks again everyone.  I'll keep you updated!   

[twirl]

could you sleep on the sofa bed and let her have your room

[Chris]

When I lived on my own the first time at 17, all I could get was Sect 8 apartments. I didn't want to move out of state and went apartment hunting. It was better than the apartment I rented later when I had a good job, well except for th water, it was bad! Your thought of Section 8 housing was the same I had back then

[annabanana]

Have you talked calmly to your mom about what might be bothering her? This might help a lot. My daughters and I are really close, too, and I am always grateful when they notice I am upset and ask if I need to talk about what's bothering me.

[paris]

Good post for having taken an Ambien!     I am a Mom with "children" your age.  From a Mom's point of view, I would feel better if my "child" was with me.  When our children are grown, there isn't much we can do for them but love them and give them support.  Your Mom is watching you deal with this disease and nothing hurts more than watching our children suffer or hurt.  Talk to her, let her know your concerns. She may be worried you are moving out!  The two of you can probably work out a good solution.  You are both lucky to have each other.  Stay and enjoy each other's company

[lruffner]

We have some places where I live, that are not quite considered section 8, but they are based on income. They are primarily for those over 55 or disabled, so you would qualify. The nice thing about them is the fact that they are secure and very nice. The units that my aunt had stayed at were all ground level, full disability modified, and they all had a red light outside to notify local patrols of an emergency. Maybe you could look for something like that, unless things resolve itself at home. Being on medicaid, you should also qualify for utility assistance as well, which could help with thr finances and then maybe you could get a bigger place.

[okarol]

Jenna is 22 and has had a transplant. She is living with us and I am glad to have her here. But I do think if we can manage it at some point it would be good for her to live away from us. I can imagine she might need to have room mates and she wouldn't be able to have a place of her own for awhile, but hopefully in time she could. We are not going to live forever, and I pray she has the tools to be independent, since she had to be so dependent on us for so long. Since you are on dialysis it seems like it would be more of a challenge, physically and financially. Talk to your mom. Ask her what she pictures for the future. Maybe you can come up with a short-term and a long-term plan that works for both of you.

[CatEars]

I'm 27 and I have been living on my own for 9mo. now.  I spent my first year of dialysis at home because I didn't know what to expect.  However, the urge I had to move out before I got sick was still strong.  Getting my own place was the best thing I ever did for my self esteem.  Start saving your money up, get your mother involved with looking for places that you can afford.  I live about ten minutes away from my mother but in my own apartment.  Talk to your social worker about creating and setting achievable goals.  If you are strong enough to survive renal failure you are certainly strong enough to live on your own.  If it doesn't work out your family will always be there for you.

[Joe Paul]

You can probably get food stamps. I'd see about that, for sure.

You most certainly can get food stamps being that you have a special diet, all you have to do is tell the case worker you cook your own food. I am not sure what area you are in, but they should have apartments there based on your income.