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Author Topic: I've heard of shotgun weddings...  (Read 2761 times)
Meinuk
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« on: August 13, 2008, 02:17:55 PM »

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/13/us/13marriage.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Health Benefits Inspire Rush to Marry, or Divorce
By KEVIN SACK

LAKE CHARLES, La. — It was only last February that Brandy Brady met Ricky Huggins at a Mardi Gras ball here. By April, they had decided to marry.

Ms. Brady says she loves Mr. Huggins, but she worries they are moving too fast. She questions how well they really know each other, and wants to better understand his mood swings.

But Ms. Brady, 38, also finds much to admire in Mr. Huggins, who is three years older. He strikes her as trustworthy and caring. He has a stable job as a plumber and a two-bedroom house. And perhaps above all, said Ms. Brady, who received a kidney transplant last year, “He’s got great insurance.”

More than romance, the couple readily acknowledge, it is Mr. Huggins’s Blue Cross/Blue Shield HMO policy that is driving their rush to the altar.

In a country where insurance is out of reach for many, it is not uncommon for couples to marry, or even to divorce, at least partly so one spouse can obtain or maintain health coverage.

There is no way to know how often it happens, but lawyers and patient advocacy groups say they see cases regularly.

In a poll conducted this spring by the Kaiser Family Foundation, a health policy research group, 7 percent of adults said someone in their household had married in the past year to gain access to insurance. The foundation cautions that the number should not be taken literally, but rather as an intriguing indicator that some Americans “are making major life decisions on the basis of health care concerns.”

Stephen L. J. Hoffman, an officiant at a wedding chapel in Covington, Ky., said he was no longer shocked that one of 10 couples cite health insurance as the reason they stand before him.

“They come in and say, ‘We were going to get married anyway, but right now we really need the insurance,’ ” said Mr. Hoffman. “There may be an unplanned pregnancy, or there is an illness, or they’ve lost their job and can’t get insurance.”

Though money and matrimony have been linked since Genesis, marrying for health coverage is a more modern convention. For today’s couples, “in sickness and in health” may seem less a lover’s troth than an actuarial contract. They marry for better or worse, for richer or poorer, for co-pays and deductibles.

Bo and Dena McLain of Milford, Ohio, eloped in March so he could add her to his group policy because her nursing school required proof of insurance. Corey Marshall and Kim Wetzel, who had dated in San Francisco for four years, moved up their wedding plans by a year so she could switch to his policy after her employer raised premiums

Ms. Brady and Mr. Huggins concede that their discussions about marriage have been freighted with cost-benefit analysis.

Ms. Brady learned three years ago that she had end-stage renal disease and after two years of dialysis received the transplant in May 2007. Her medical costs remain substantial and unpredictable. The demands of dialysis forced her to give up a much-loved job as a store manager for the Body Shop, and she eventually lost her insurance.

She now receives a Social Security disability check of $1,181 a month, and spends $95 of that on premiums for Medicare, the federal health insurance program for the elderly and disabled, which insures kidney transplant patients for up to three years.

With Medicare covering only 80 percent of most charges, however, Ms. Brady still has been left with thousands of dollars in bills.

Until this spring, Ms. Brady filled the gaps with a supplemental policy bought from State Farm. In April, she received notice that the premium was more than doubling, to $2,621 a quarter, from $1,180.

“ ‘I’ve got to cancel it,’ ” Ms. Brady said she told her agent. “I’m running out of family members to pay for it.”

That is when Ms. Brady and Mr. Huggins started talking about marriage. They reasoned that if they wed, Mr. Huggins could add her at modest cost to the group policy he buys through his union. That policy, combined with Medicare, would provide full coverage.

“I told him, ‘Let’s just do it. Can we do it without family?’ ” Ms. Brady recalled. “I felt the only way I could get around this was to marry him.”

As Ms. Brady has weighed her marital doubts against her medical needs, the couple has shifted wedding dates four times, most recently to Oct. 11. Her instincts tell her to delay. But each time the bills mount, she feels pressure to act sooner rather than later.

“I love him a lot, and I want to marry him,” Ms. Brady said. “I just don’t want to be forced to marry him early for insurance purposes.”

Mr. Huggins asks only that he have enough time to invite a few family members to the ceremony.

“I know I love her,” he said, “and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. The reasons and how fast we do it, that’s just secondary.”

In some instances, the need for insurance may prolong unhappy marriages.

When a mammogram confirmed in April 2007 that Sherri Parish had a lump in her breast, she panicked not only because of the devastating health news, but also because she was two weeks from a court date to finalize her divorce. Across the ups and downs of a 20-year marriage, her husband, Jonathan, had insured her through his job as a construction foreman in Noblesville, Ind.

“It was a devastating time for me,” Ms. Parish said. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with either the prognosis or the financial side of it.”

A nurse and mother of three, Ms. Parish, 47, had had little contact with her husband since they separated a year earlier. Through lawyers, she asked Mr. Parish, 49, if he would consider a delay so she could pursue treatment. He agreed.

“He didn’t want me to be without health care coverage because I’d never had it without him,” Ms. Parish said. “He’d always been the breadwinner, and I always worked two or three days a week and raised the children.”

Other couples, like Michelle and Marion Moulton, are forced to consider divorce so that an ailing spouse can qualify for affordable insurance.

Ms. Moulton, 46, a homemaker who lives near Seattle with her husband and two children, learned three years ago that she had serious liver damage, a side effect, she believes, of drugs she was once prescribed. She is trying to get on a transplant list, but the clock is ticking; her once slender body has ballooned, and her doctors say her liver could give out at any time.

Mr. Moulton, a self-employed painting contractor, maintains a catastrophic coverage plan for his family, but its high deductibles and unpredictable reimbursements have left them $50,000 in debt. Without better coverage, a transplant could add unthinkable sums.

Two years ago, Ms. Moulton looked into buying more comprehensive coverage through the Washington State Health Insurance Pool, a state-financed program for high-risk patients. She found the premiums unaffordable, but noticed that the state offered subsidies to those with low incomes. As their debts and desperation multiplied, it occurred to Ms. Moulton that divorcing her husband of 17 years would make her eligible for the subsidized coverage.

“I felt like I had done this to us,” she said. “We had worked hard our entire lives, and if this was all the insurance we had, we could become homeless. I just said, ‘You know, we really need to sit down and talk about divorce.’ ”

Mr. Moulton would not consider it — at first. “From a male point of view, you want to be able to fix things, you want to be able to provide,” he said.

“Then you start looking at what things cost and what someone with no assets can get in terms of funding, and you have to start thinking about it.”

The conversations ebbed and flowed with the family’s financial pressures. They talked about the effect on their children and where they might live. They weighed the legal and financial risks against the prospects of bankruptcy.

The debate continued until this summer, when Mr. Moulton’s father offered financial help. “I know we don’t take charity from anyone,” Mr. Moulton told his wife, “but I’m not going to divorce you and I’m not going to let you die.”

Though grateful for the lifeline, the couple remains unsettled by how close they came.

“Nobody should have to make a choice like that,” Ms. Moulton said. “What happened to our country? I don’t remember growing up like this.”
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Research Dialysis Units:  http://projects.propublica.org/dialysis/

52 with PKD
deceased donor transplant 11/2/08
nxstage 10/07 - 11/08;  30LS/S; 20LT/W/R  @450
temp. permcath:  inserted 5/07 - removed 7/19/07
in-center hemo:  m/w/f 1/12/07
list: 6/05
a/v fistula: 5/05
NxStage training diary post (10/07):  http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=5229.0
Newspaper article: Me dialyzing alone:  http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=7332.0
Transplant post 11/08):  http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=10893.msg187492#msg187492
Fistula removal post (7/10): http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=18735.msg324217#msg324217
Post Transplant Skin Cancer (2/14): http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=30659.msg476547#msg476547

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okarol
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« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2008, 03:09:05 PM »



That doesn't surprise me, someone marrying for insurance benefits. Especially when you know that Medicare benefits after a transplant end at 36 months post surgery. Jenna has 17 months left. She's not even dating so marriage will probably not be a solution.  :rofl;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
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boxman55
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« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2008, 03:26:27 PM »

and I'm to old... ;D Boxman
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"Be the change you wished to be"
Started Hemodialysis 8/14/06
Lost lower right leg 5/16/08 due to Diabetes
Sister was denied donation to me for medical reasons 1/2008
G-Ma
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« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2008, 03:43:06 PM »

Too old for what silly man?  Theres probably a line of women just waiting for you or are you married?  I don't even know.      :rofl;  I have seen this before.  Several years ago my bro in law's parents got a divorce just so his mo in law could get the medical care she needed.  How sad that we as a country do this to someone.
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Lost vision due to retinopathy 12/2005, 30 Laser Surg 2006
ESRD diagnosed 12/2006
03/2007 Fantastic Eye Surgeon in ND got my sight back and implanted lenses in both eyes, great distance & low reading.
Gortex 4/07.  Started dialysis in ND 5/4/2007
Gortex clotted off Thanksgiving Week of 2007, was unclotted and promptly clotted off 1/2 hour later so Permacath Rt chest.
3/2008 move to NC to be close to children.
2 Step fistula, 05/08-elevated 06/08, using mid August.
Aug 5, 08, trained NxStage and Home on 9/3/2008.
Fistulagram 09/2008. In hospital 10/30/08, Bowel Obstruction.
Back to RAI-Latrobe In Center. No home hemo at this time.
GOD IS GOOD
boxman55
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« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2008, 04:32:45 PM »

Oh G-Ma I was picking on Okarol's post about her daughter being to young. I am now in big trouble. but I am not married...Boxman
« Last Edit: August 13, 2008, 04:43:08 PM by boxman55 » Logged


"Be the change you wished to be"
Started Hemodialysis 8/14/06
Lost lower right leg 5/16/08 due to Diabetes
Sister was denied donation to me for medical reasons 1/2008
Sluff
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« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2008, 04:38:23 PM »

This hits home for me. One of the reasons for getting married was health insurance.
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petey
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« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2008, 05:33:09 PM »

and I'm to old... ;D Boxman

Oh, no, Boxman, you can NEVER be too old to fall in love and get married.  Somewhere out there is a beautiful woman who will appreciate your kindness of spirit, your gentleness of nature, and your sense of humor.  She's probably looking for you right now -- do you have your eyes open?   :o   And, hey, it will be icing on the cake when you find out SHE has great insurance, too!
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Chris
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« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2008, 10:52:52 PM »

Hmmm, never thought of this.
Could this be the new pick up line? What's your insurance? intead of What's your sign? :rofl;
Maybe I should try dating to get better insurance than Medicare and Medicaid, well at least move up from Medicaid :2thumbsup;  :yahoo; :rofl;

As long as I do not get maried at Wal-Mart and have a reception in Aisle 9, I would do this. :rofl;

Just another form of marrying for money? :rofl;
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Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
G-Ma
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« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2008, 12:45:14 PM »

and what the ++++ is wrong with aisle 9 in Walmart????  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;
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Lost vision due to retinopathy 12/2005, 30 Laser Surg 2006
ESRD diagnosed 12/2006
03/2007 Fantastic Eye Surgeon in ND got my sight back and implanted lenses in both eyes, great distance & low reading.
Gortex 4/07.  Started dialysis in ND 5/4/2007
Gortex clotted off Thanksgiving Week of 2007, was unclotted and promptly clotted off 1/2 hour later so Permacath Rt chest.
3/2008 move to NC to be close to children.
2 Step fistula, 05/08-elevated 06/08, using mid August.
Aug 5, 08, trained NxStage and Home on 9/3/2008.
Fistulagram 09/2008. In hospital 10/30/08, Bowel Obstruction.
Back to RAI-Latrobe In Center. No home hemo at this time.
GOD IS GOOD
twirl
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« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2008, 01:56:03 PM »

Chris to  hell with love :cheer:
marry for insurance :cheer:
make me proud :cheer:
pick up line
my insurance is so biggggggggggggggggggggggggg or longggggggggggggggggg or I won't say hard that would be to rude :shy;
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KT0930
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« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2008, 04:09:10 PM »

psst, military men and women have GREAT insurance!  :secret; It's the only reason I even thought twice about divorcing my ex.
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"Dialysis ain't for sissies" ~My wonderful husband
~~~~~~~
I received a 6 out of 6 antigen match transplant on January 9, 2008. Third transplant, first time on The List.
Deanne
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« Reply #11 on: August 15, 2008, 08:45:40 AM »

I once talked to a friend about marriage just for insurance reasons. We live in different states and nothing would have changed. I'm glad nothing came of it. I dumped him as a friend last year.
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Deanne

1972: Diagnosed with "chronic kidney disease" (no specific diagnosis)
1994: Diagnosed with FSGS
September 2011: On transplant list with 15 - 20% function
September 2013: ~7% function. Started PD dialysis
February 11, 2014: Transplant from deceased donor. Creatinine 0.57 on 2/13/2014
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