I'm just going to say it...

[glitter]

that is just too funny-

But you can help...you have two good kidneys...give one up for the chance to play hide the salami with a hottie just like this."

it sounds like the father in grumpy old men- he asked that woman in the grocery store if she wanted to play that!!!

[Razman]

Great , so were  setting up a new business .   Services  free , all you do to is pay with a kidney.   Will we have to pay taxes on this ?  I'm sure the government will  get in on it and find some way to make us pay !!!   

[kellyt]

Would you like to tap that?

         Hilarious!

[Wattle]

I envision a new TV commercial...
The picture of a beautiful woman comes up...(pick any of our IHD hotties)...
and the voice over says this...
"Hey...you...see this hottie? Would you like to tap that? Suuure you would...but you can't, because she's on dialysis, which translated from Latin means "die sexless." Without a new kidney, she's just not gonna want to knock boots with anyone.

But you can help...you have two good kidneys...give one up for the chance to play hide the salami with a hottie just like this."

Also do a beefcake male version...watch donors start lining up!!!

 

        Your killing me.   

[paddbear0000]

 

[okarol]

Jenna has mentioned low libido. Her nephrologist is researching studies with hormone replacement and transplant patients on immunosuppressants. It will be interesting to see if he finds anything related to women and this issue.

[oleboy]

My wife says my sex drive has drove off, and when momma  is not happy ain't no body is happy!

[monrein]

I feel lucky because I have not struggled too much with libido issues.  Of course I was much younger (26) when I first went on dialysis and then felt super well with my transplant but even now I get a lot of comfort from sex.  I feel lucky because I never got negative messages about sex and I used to even have terrific conversations with my grandmother about it.  We both thought it was a very good thing although we disagreed on a few details.
However, I think that sex and intimacy is a huge issue for many many people in our culture and that goes even for those without ESRD.  Especially in relationships of any duration, but at any time really, it isn't my experience that both people always feel in the mood at the same moment or want the same things at the same time.  But even if I don't need sex or much feel like it on a given occasion I love the feeling of making my partner happy and vice versa.  His orgasm is quite irrelevant to me if he doesn't feel like having one and if I don't feel like one there's no reason for him to be uncomfortable or antsy. I quickly discovered that taking the pressure off about feeling that I always had to be in sexual sync with my partner really freed me up to enjoy the whole business and in the process of pleasing him I often would find myself feeling "hey, me too".  I also think that the media sells us a very false idea about real people's sex lives.  Many perfectly healthy but stressed out people are too busy, too preoccupied or just too tired to find time for sex which makes them similar to people on dialysis.
The other thing is the huge range of the strength of the sex drive in human beings.  The most important thing is being with someone who is somewhere near you on that continuum.  I see sex as a lovely way of connecting with a partner but of course human beings are complex and sex can so easily become the dumping ground for resentments and a host of other issues.
None of what I say here in any way diminishes the fact, and it is a fact, that ESRD affects libido and complicates our lives in so many ways.   

[migaguiar]

I'm not UP for it.  haha get it?
No, seriously, my doctor (male) asked everyone to leave the room so we could speak.
I was like , "uh-oh now im in trouble."

He asked while making an up motion with his fist if i needed help with sex.
This caught me off guard and so my response was totally truthful.
I said,"i really dont have the urge for it now."

He insisted and suggested i took pills if i needed them.
He offered viagra and libido stuff.

I never really took him up on it.
But in retrospect i should. I wouldnt want my gf left wanting.

Side note. I told my gf about it and she said jokingly that the Dr. got one good look at her and saw that I NEEDED to take those pills.
 

[spacezombie]

I tend to have more of a sex drive if I keep my blood levels up with Epo. I didn't have a problem once I had the transplant and also exercise seems to help. Right now though... blaaaaah.

[stauffenberg]

Now that there is such an extensive campaign in the US to reduce the dose of EPO patients are given on dialysis, the problem of low potency in males and low libido in males and females is only going to get worse.  But at least the tax bite on rich folk to pay for Medicare will be reduced, and that's the main thing.

[alrightstill]

Well I went thru a major "nobody will want me with a tube sticking out of me" type of thing after my first transplant failed.   

I actually went SEVEN YEARS without having sex.  And the funny thing is - I didn't miss it.. all too much.  Of course, I made out witha  guy or two but I would never let it get further than that.

Then.. last summer I met someone, and we hit it off and we were um, "doing it" almost every other day for about 3 months.  The first time wasn't easy.... I mean, it was like  I was a real life born again virgin.. But then it got easier and things were able to um, flow naturally.. (minus the big o on my part.. which is a whole nother thread altogether).  Anyway, it could all just boil down to wanting what you cant have for my particular story, since that guy and I are no longer in a sexual relationship.

But to get back on the original topic.. yes, I still sometimes hunger for sex after being 7 years on dialysis.  The problem is, I just don't have anyone to fulfill that hunger! haha.   


Edited: Fixed smiley icon - okarol/admin

[paddbear0000]

I'm not even on dialysis yet and my sex drive is dead, gone, kaput, zilch, etc, etc, etc. And we haven't even been married a year yet (1 year May 12th tho  )! My poor husband.

[okarol]

Whilst the sexual difficulties of male dialysis patients are often neglected, those of female patients are almost completely ignored. As yet, there has been very little research carried out into the sexual difficulties of female dialysis patients. The largest study was a survey of 99 Italian female haemodialysis patients. Compared to women who did not have kidney failure, the dialysis patients had sex less often and were less able to have an orgasm. Also, most patients noticed a loss of sex drive.

If a young woman is not having periods, research has shown that, with hormone replacement therapy, sex drive is often improved. This is in addition to the other benefits of hormone replacement therapy.

Some women with kidney failure are deficient in testosterone. Although this is normally thought of as a male hormone, it is required, in small amounts, to play a part in female libido (sex drive).

Sex life frequently returns to normal after a successful kidney transplant.

There's more info here: http://www.kidney.org.uk/Medical-Info/sex-problems/loss-sex.html

The nephrologist said that testosterone is often prescribed for women, even after transplant, but he is still looking into the effect of hormones while on immunosuppressants.

[Steve-0]

This is a little embaressing, but what the hell, right?

I'm kind of a sex maniac.  I liked to do it all the time, and frequently did.  When I went on dialysis the first time, I noticed my sex drive decrease QUITE a bit, especially for a 24 year old guy.  When I had my transplant, after everything healed up - I was a maniac.  My sex drive was high, but I'd often need Viagara to get an erection.  No biggie.  Besides, it's a fun pill to pop.  Seriously.  If you haven't asked your doctor for it, and you need a little help - DO IT. 

My recent return to dialysis (last year) has decreased my sex drive to a large degree - which has brought problems to me and my girlfriend.  She's just as sexually voracious as I was before dialysis, and she often thinks "it's her" when I turn down sex, when in reality it's often due to complications from being on dialysis.  She's a nurse, too, and understands my condition quite well - yet, heh, often can't stop just simply being a girl who gets turned down.  We've gotten better now, but it was an adjustment for sure.

Sex is an important part of feeling alive - and feeling alive is important to surviving dialysis.  I know how bad and weird it feels to loose sex drive, and I hope in the future they will consider this for patients more, medically speaking.

~Steve

[migaguiar]

I dont know Steve-o...........i still see myself having better things to do. But its probably my lack of health which dictates my drive.
For example, Id rather have a good nights sleep then to "lose" sleep. Thats just whats important for me right now. My gf seems to
be okay with it. I guess its just an individual choice.

[migaguiar]

oh yeah, Steve-O if im wrong and my gf is not okay with it I dont want you nowhere near around her!!! 

[monrein]

Steve-O,  this is also a little embarrassing but what the hell, right?  With the fabulous advances in sex toys these days you can still participate in meeting her needs so she doesn't have to feel rejected at all.  You'll probably enjoy this to some extent although of course it's an adaptation to the situation.  Many ways to skin a cat (and to reach orgasm too) and I agree with you about the feeling alive part.  Some guys feel "replaced" where the toy issue is concerned but there's also the flirting, the talking about sex that make it an interactive sport and most importantly there's your girlfriend's eternal gratitude.  If I don't feel like sex but my partner does that's easily taken care of (so many possibilities there) and I end up feeling pretty darn needed.  And alive too.