New Dating Question

[KICKSTART]

We had a thread a while ago about if and when you tell people you are ill/on dialysis and the general conclusion was wait for a few dates to see how things were going. However one of the first things i find is that before you even get to decide what to do ,is people ask you what job you do. I know some people still work but quite a few dont , so if you are not working , what do you say ? Over here  if you are not working people tend to think you are a 'bum' (i think thats the american expression?) but if you say for instance, the job you used to do before you got ill, then to me its sorta of like ..well firstly i didnt mention my illness , then i lied about my work (or the fact im not) wouldnt it make people think ..so whats else are they hiding that they havent mentioned ?

[RichardMEL]

oooh the tough questions keep coming on IHD!

Yeah I can understand the issue and it's a tough one. I suppose one way around it is to tell a bit of a white lie... Let's say before you were forced to stop working you worked as an accountant... you could say you're a professional accountant or something... I mean you don't have to say you're currently working. If you want to be honest you could say that you did X for a job but had to give it up for now because of some health issues. Yes - that would get them asking but it might be good to be upfront.

I suppose you could always tell them they're too nosy! LOL but I guess that wouldn't really help much.

I guess you admit what you're comfortable with.. but at the end of the day the truth would need to come out probably sooner rather than later for all kinds of reasons (some discussed in the other thread).

I think the best course of action to avoid the "bum" tag is to just be honest and say you had to stop working for health issues... if someone wants to run from stuff like that... well... clearly not the sort you want to date anyway.. so it might be a good way to, shall we say, sort the men out from the boys?

[willieandwinnie]

oooh the tough questions keep coming on IHD!

I think the best course of action to avoid the "bum" tag is to just be honest and say you had to stop working for health issues... if someone wants to run from stuff like that... well... clearly not the sort you want to date anyway.. so it might be a good way to, shall we say, sort the men out from the boys?

I agree with Richard. 

[NVRWKN]

I've been up front right away.  Sometimes it's OK and sometimes they just bail. But a friend of mine said to me if someone can't like you for you their not worth your time anyway. I find that to be so true. We are a  of true feelings and commitment. Like us for us not what we do for a living or how healthy we are. I think heath is a mental state alot of the time anyway.

[keefer51]

I just tell the truth. I don't work now. I am a printer and know for sure i would blow up like a balloon if i did work. So i say i am on social security. Some will say "boy, your lucky no work etc..." i say, "oh yea want to trade?"

[mysty]

You can always say that at the moment you are between jobs or are taking a leave of absense.... Keith told me he was retired.. and that is not a lie.. he is medically retired..
At our age.. that is not far fetched..
Follow your gut instinct..

[okarol]

Tell them you are between careers.
When my husband became disabled he just put "retired" on the kid's school forms so they wouldn't think he was a loafer!

[RichardMEL]

I think making it clear you WANT to work would also go a long way to dispell the "bum" tag but as others have said really if someone's going to judge on that aspect alone well... better off without them i reckon.

The other day I was talking with a friend about my fluid restrictions and how it sucked blah blah and she started telling me about having a weak bladder and how it could get rather difficult/embarassing at times for her (I offered her a coffee and she said well I may not make it home intact if I drink it all... though she did )... anyway the end result of the conversation was that we both had the same end result (needing to restrict our fluid intake) but coming from almost opposite "ends" of the spectrum in terms of causes.

I think that conversation helped both of us apprieciate the other's situation that little bit better.

[neight]

Well being on dialysis you are entitled to Social Security. So do what I do and say you work for the government.