Songs ease the pain of love that lingers

[okarol]

Published: Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Songs ease the pain of love that lingers

By Kristi O'Harran, The Herald

Soothing a broken heart with song is working for James Rooks of Marysville.

He has been undergoing kidney dialysis for 34 years, all the while thinking about an unrequited love.

Rooks, 61, spends 15 or 16 hours each week undergoing four treatments, then relaxes on weekends singing karaoke.

He was a very sick child, growing up in Kelso. He had a failing kidney and mumps, epilepsy and spinal meningitis. His mother died when he was 5 and his life with five siblings was bleak, he said.

He started rudimentary blood cleansing treatments in 1975.

"It was a relatively crude process," Rooks said. "I was always out of breath. Some days I wanted to crawl in a corner and die."

Trying to maintain a semblance of health, and keep up his grades at the University of Washington, was difficult.

Medical problems caused him to have trouble focusing his thoughts.

"I attempted to have friends," he said. "It was not a good experience."

He fought on and received degrees in fisheries management and engineering.

Working at Boeing for 15 years, he took his dialysis treatments at night. Still, he met stimulating people, he said.

"I had to push, push, push myself," Rooks said. "I was surrounded by bright people."

Two kidney transplants, in 1976 and 1992, failed before he ever got out of the hospital.

He says he's in good hands now and has the utmost faith in his doctor, Christian Schmitt, with the Kidney and Arthritis Clinic in Everett.

Schmitt, a nephrologist, received a kidney transplant almost 18 years ago and enjoys normal health.

"Terminal kidney disease in many instances can be treated in a way that people can enjoy good health for decades with dialysis or with a renal transplant," Schmitt said. "I congratulated Mr. Rooks the other day about his excellent health and beating the odds of dying from kidney failure for 34 years."

Rooks, who never married, lives on a pension and disability in a nice neighborhood in Marysville. He said neighbor David Rasmussen has been a very good friend. Rooks pays attention to children who stop outdoors to visit, and he has a special place in his heart for tykes from broken homes.

He challenges children who drop by to ponder why the sky is blue. He is a sentimental, melancholy man who is still in love with a college crush who rejected his advances. He showed me her fading snapshot in a worn album.

"I didn't have the skills to form a relationship," Rooks said. "I grew up in poverty, with a fear of women."

He sends her cards now and then, with nary a reply.

"She is the one woman I've loved," he said. "I love her today."

Sitting with his hands clenched between his thighs, Rooks appeared the picture of loneliness in his living room.

But wait. I judged him too soon.

Rooks donned a Gene Kelly derby that he wears while singing karaoke on weekend evenings at Hunan Palace in Everett. He turned on his home karaoke machine and took the stage.

I was serenaded with "I can see clearly now."

The other night he sang "Mandy," he said, as a challenge. He adores "Lara's Theme" from "Dr. Zhivago."

Rooks said he sings under his breath during dialysis.

"Songs remind me of growing up," he said. "And her."

Columnist Kristi O'Harran: 425-339-3451 or oharran@heraldnet.com.

http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20080319/NEWS01/851608061/-1/news01