Tribute: 'LifeOnHold' Passed away Monday Jan. 30th 2006 - UPDATE: Tribute Added!

[Epoman]

Damn it....I just now got the email from her fiance's Rick I am so sad that I am honestly considering shutting this site down for good. This site has been on the net for about 6 months now and we have now lost 3 members. LifeOnHold was my very first member and she helped me by posting alot to get this place active. I don't think I can handle the emotional strain this is putting on me. As it is I already think about death constantly and I have known many people who have died. But knowing the people on this site makes it more personal for me and it makes me think about my own death even more.

In all the years I have been on dialysis and all the people I have seen die none has effected me more than LifeOnHolds death. I am traumatized from this and I am sick to my stomach from this.

I'm am going to bed now I just can't believe this happened.

Rest In Peace and GOD bless you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is the email I received:

I sent a reply through the last post of "Mitral Valve Surgery" for 
LifeOnHold.  I am her fiance' Rick and just wanted to let you know she  passed away
Monday Jan 30th.  She actually made it through the operation  but, complications
with her BP caused her body to fail.  The doctors were  truly perplexed at the
speed and cause of the catasrophically low BP.   They had been concern and
after Saturday's dialysis they couldn't  get it  back up so they moved her into
back into CICU.  It seems there may have  been a clot inhibiting the flow of
blood throughout her body and because her  pressure was already to low there
was NOTHING they could.
 
She really appreciated what you were doing here.  I hope she was as  helpful
to you as you were to her.
 
Take Care,  Rick

UPDATE:

Rick sent me an email with a link to LifeOnHold's (Darlene) memorial/tribute page.

http://www.mem.com/display/Biography.asp?id=1209636 (Link not working but I will leave it visible in case it's temporary )

You can read her Bio and see pictures, watch a slideshow or movie of said pictures.


EDITED: Link not working - Sluff/Admin

[geoffcamp]

As a newbie I am at a loss for words... she was a wonderful person and had a sense of humor and honesty that made me feel for her and all of us and the trials and shit we have to go through.  I am deeply sadden for a person I never met but considered a mentor in this journey.  She made me laugh, think and always put into perpective my life and how to live it.  I know from the short time I read and responed to her posts that she was a rare and beautiful soul.... I hope whatever comes after this life gives her everything she could ever dream about and more.  Epoman, I know this has been especially difficult for you and can't imagine how you feel or what you are going though but I hope you can find the strength to keep this going for her and all the others that subscribe to this service you are providing.  I am so sorry for all she touched... is there any way I can send flowers or do anything to show what she ment to me and how she touched my life??  I will miss you lifeonhold and may you rest in peace
Geoff

[Bajanne]

I am so saddened about this loss.  It is really hard to even imagine that we will not hear her comments again.  I was so looking forward to her coming through and making us crack up with her wry humor as she chronicled her experiences.

Epoman, you cannot stop.  I am living and I NEED THIS WEBSITE!  You have no idea what it means to me, and I am sure, many others.  LifeonHold would not want you to quit for anything.  We have to keep kicking Death's ass for her.

I find it so strange that we losL people right as we were getting to know and appreciate their particular contribution.  Old Borris, Jamie, and LifeonHold were all three such expressive people, each in very different ways.  They each made a unique contribution to this site, and even though I am typing this through my tears, I am so glad I got to know them and to receive so much from them.

THE BEST TRIBUTE TO THEM WOULD BE TO KEEP THIS GOING, KEEP GIVING OTHERS A FORUM, AND KEEP KICKING DEATH'S ASS!

[toad]

epoman i agree with both the post the remainder of us need this sight....i think it would be a good tribute in loh honour to keep this sight up and running...... REST IN PEACE LIFE ON HOLD U ARE NOW IN A BETTER PLAVE NO MORE PAIN....ALSO MINE AND MY WIFES PRAYERS ARE WITH RICK HER FIANCE AND THE REST OF HER FAMILY.......TOAD

[Rerun]

I read the post last night.  I couldn't sleep at all.  She lived life with a smile and put smiles on all our faces at one time or another.  I just loved her posts.  I will miss her dearly.  We all will die.  Not just us because we are on dialysis and sick.  Perfectly normal people are taken everyday in senseless accidents or crime.  We just need to trudge on. 

LifeOnHold would want us to continue with this website Epoman.  Her Life is not on hold anymore.  She is free from dialysis and pain.

Selfishly.......I need this website. 

[Epoman]

Here is a email I received from Rick:

Epoman,  (pass this on)
If you can help just ONE person then you've done your job!  You've  helped 3
itseems and although they've moved on to a better pain free place, you  still
have work to do.  As for the flowers in her words "NO NO NO, why  should a
something so beautiful be sacrificed for her.
I'm actually giving her one long stemmed "silk" rose.  Most here I've  talked
into plants.  But, you folks honor her by doing what you've been  doing. 
Continue the awareness of the masses and generate some interest in  find a cure
for MPGN.
 
My name is Rick and I was proud to share the life of Darlene  "LifeOnHold"
Caban.  I will return and post some of her words I will  be reading as a eulogy.
 
 
Thank you again for all you've done for her and CONTINUE to do.
 
- Rick

So for those that asked about sending flowers it looks like Darlene (LifeOnHold) would not want flowers.

[Sara]

It made me cry to read she had passed.  She seemed like such a wonderful and "real" person, and I regret not being able to really get to know her.  May the Lord bless you and keep you Darlene.  You are an angel among angels now.  To Rick, and her friends and family, my heart goes out to you.

[Epoman]

Updated my original post, I added the email I received notifying me she had passed. I thought our members would like to read it.

[babi68]

This news is very sad. My prayers are with Rick and her family. God bless you Darlene. Liz

[glitter]

here a bump for this nice lady- she passed right before I came here- I got to know her through her posts and then read the one where she was gone.... I was really sorry I didn't get a chance to message with her.....she kept Epoman company a lot in the early days.... he loved her too.

[Deanne]

She was gone before I joined, but I remember reading her posts and very much regretting that I never got to "meet" her.