Any financial help for new home buyers on dialysis?

[SteveK87]

I was wondering if the government does any kind of assisted financial help for dialysis patients looking to move out on their own.  Currently we are at Ashleys moms house but with her mom wanting to charge Ashley rent (just happens to be an amount that equals her whole disability & SS check..what a coincidence?) it's near impossible to save money since I'd have to cover both her bills and mine and we would just be stuck here.  Yeah, I've called her mom out on charging her daughter with kidney failure rent especially since she is trying to pursue her career in cosmetology and save up to move out but she doesn't feel it's wrong.  I could afford my own crap apartment but not with having to cover Ashleys bills too and I'm not just going to leave her here with her mom.  I quote a recent phone conversation her mom had with one of her moms friends "All Ashley does is go to school and dialyze she doesn't do anything!"...maannn did my blood boil.  Her mom shows absolutely no concern or regard to Ashleys treatment and considers her "lazy" for needing to rest after treatment.  Needless to say we need to get out of here.  And with her mom racking up debt and charging us a ridiculous amount of money for rent I don't see us going anywhere anytime soon.  Heelllllpppp!!  Any suggestions??

[jbeany]

How about state assistance with rent?  Around here it's referred to as Section 8 housing - check with your social worker or look for some state information in your area.  A lot of apartment complexes here that are intended for the elderly also offer rentals to anyone on disability, regardless of age.  (Hey, you'd have some quiet neighbors.)  Also, don't forget about food stamps and Medicaid if you aren't already on them.  Michigan has an automated system for applying - check your local state website.  Between the two of you, and with aid, you might be able to swing an apartment for far less than what it would cost to stay with her mom.  The stress free environment would be worth the mountain of paperwork.

I know a lot of people aren't thrilled with going on welfare.  I'm one of them.  And I'm all for working your way through school and getting a job to support yourself, but it's silly to not take aid that will get you there.  I just re-qualified for food stamps.  I'm job hunting and hope to go back off soon, but the aid is there to get you on your feet.  Take it if you qualify.

[Whamo]

Our economy, run by the elites, is using political force to keep wages down.  It's also turning the residential real estate market from one of home ownership back to the dark age of a rental market.  Section 8 is your best bet, but don't bank on it.  I see the government cutting back after the election.  Neither side is telling us the truth of how they plan to tackle the fiscal cliff ahead.

[Lillupie]

You can try Section 8. I think in Michigan (where im orginally from) there is a long waitlist. It wont hurt to look into it.
 Geez, my mom kind of thought the same of me, that is why she wanted me to drive her everywhere. People just dont understand.  Home or in the center you just dont feel your normal self, atleast not 100%. She wants to take advantage of the situation. Im sorry

[Deanne]

I'm confused. In June you said something about a 401K loan for a home purchase. It sounded like this was something in the past and you'd purchased the house. How long have you been living with Ashey's mom? Are you and Ashley married? I'm wondering if you're not married if it could have something to do with her mom's attitude, and that you're the true target as an "interloper" who isn't paying rent. While I can understand your frustration, I can see Ashley's mom's side, too. Her adult daughter has a caregiver (you), and she (Ashey's mom) is footing the housing bills for two people instead of one now. If she's racking up debt on her own, she might be looking for any means of pulling in cash that she can. It isn't uncommon for parents to ask for rent from their grown children.

If you and Ashley aren't married, is it an option for you to find a place nearby by yourself that you can afford and Ashley to stay with her mom until she finishes school and you can afford something better?

What are your options for increasing your income? Do you work full-time now? While I understand you're Ashley's caregiver, it sounds like she's able to care for herself for the most part or she wouldn't be going to school.

[SteveK87]

I'm confused. In June you said something about a 401K loan for a home purchase. It sounded like this was something in the past and you'd purchased the house. How long have you been living with Ashey's mom? Are you and Ashley married? I'm wondering if you're not married if it could have something to do with her mom's attitude, and that you're the true target as an "interloper" who isn't paying rent. While I can understand your frustration, I can see Ashley's mom's side, too. Her adult daughter has a caregiver (you), and she (Ashey's mom) is footing the housing bills for two people instead of one now. If she's racking up debt on her own, she might be looking for any means of pulling in cash that she can. It isn't uncommon for parents to ask for rent from their grown children.

If you and Ashley aren't married, is it an option for you to find a place nearby by yourself that you can afford and Ashley to stay with her mom until she finishes school and you can afford something better?

What are your options for increasing your income? Do you work full-time now? While I understand you're Ashley's caregiver, it sounds like she's able to care for herself for the most part or she wouldn't be going to school.

The 401k loan was for the house that we are currently living in.  I was supposed to be on the title of the house with her mom since I was contributing money...which didn't happen. So her mom took the 5k to help put a down payment on the house and I have nothing to show for it.   The first 10 months we were here (now almost 12 months) I took over all of Ashleys bills, paid almost all of them off, and her mom got $650 a month from us.  So by me living here, her mom saved over $8000 from me paying Ashleys bills, got $5000 from my 401k and got over $7000 from Ashleys disability/ss money. So basically by me living here her mom should have had an extra $20,000 dollars.   Her mom currently has over 20k in debt, which has been acquired since purchasing this house not even a year ago.  None of the debt was due to the purchase of this home.  I offered to create a budget for her mom, which I looked over all her bills, and after all the bills are paid each month she still has over $1k of cash to play with.  So we don't know what her mom is doing with money, but she has serious issues and is trying to bring us down with her.  It has gotten to the point where she lies to her sons and daughters to try and get money out of them.  If I was to leave Ashley here and get my own place, she wouldn't be able to afford her current bills.

Edit to add:  Her mom does not help Ashley in any way shape or form financially.  I pay for everything for Ashley from food, prescriptions, to even tampons.

[Deanne]

As her husband, I guess I'd expect that you'd pay Ashey's expenses, but you shouldn't have to pay her mom's expenses, too. It sounds like a toxic place for you and Ashley to be. You might not be able to get your cash back from her mom, but I think it would be a good idea if you start apartment hunting before she drains any more from you. It sounds like you're paying $650 in rent to her now. Can you find a 1-bedroom apartment near work for both of you? If you can get it as close to work as possible, you'll reduce whatever you're paying in gas money to/from work and be near Ashley in case you need to run home quickly to help her.

[SteveK87]

As her husband, I guess I'd expect that you'd pay Ashey's expenses, but you shouldn't have to pay her mom's expenses, too. It sounds like a toxic place for you and Ashley to be. You might not be able to get your cash back from her mom, but I think it would be a good idea if you start apartment hunting before she drains any more from you. It sounds like you're paying $650 in rent to her now. Can you find a 1-bedroom apartment near work for both of you? If you can get it as close to work as possible, you'll reduce whatever you're paying in gas money to/from work and be near Ashley in case you need to run home quickly to help her.

We could afford a $650 apartment but could not afford the utilities on top of it.  Currently with Ashleys expenses vs income she is -$338/month which I would have to compensate for.  It's not that she is bad with managing her money it's just she had some debt before dialysis because she was working full time, which I paid almost all of it off, but she still has a car payment with car insurance along with a fresh student loan. Also, if something comes up like car trouble (my car more than likely) or extra medical expenses we would not be able to afford it.  She just finished cosmetology school and currently is working at a salon starting off with grunt work and won't be making her potential money for a little awhile until she moves up.

[mamagemini]

I'm not sure where you live but I do know that you have Section 8 but it is a long list and the areas are rural. The problem with utilities is you can get a low income billing help. Also with the deposits they can work out a payment plan to get you up and running. Also there are groups out there who will help with deposits.
Now look for a place that has "Move-in specials" these will sometimes have a $99 deposit to move in! I can help you find a place if you tell me where you are, send it in a message. I help my clients find places all the time. Contact or go down to Social Services and ask for help in money and finding a place to live. They have lists for you to work with.  You can do it!!

[dialysis.sucks]

Older post, so I apologize for bringing it back from the dead, but with Section 8 there is a section just for disabled and elderly. Essentially you get moved ahead of the low income individuals. Many times there are apartments (typically in MUCH nicer neighborhoods and actually kept up) that are just for disabled individuals. While there may be a two year (or more) wait for section 8 in the nicer parts of a County, it can be six months or less for disabled and elderly. Less if you're willing to move to a "less than safe" part of a state. At least in California and New York, thus far.

[Jean]

Section 8 is a wonderful program, but it has a long waiting list, at least here in Ca. At any rate go online and look at HUD. There are other programs such as 236 which here, you can get a 3 bed 2 bath for about $700 and that includes all your utilities. Not phone of course. And there are other sections as well for yur benefit. They are great for those who are trying to get back on their feet and God knows, you are trying.

[Whamo]

I would forget buying a house right now.  Most lenders won't touch you unless you have 20% down and great credit and a great income.  Section 8 seems like a viable option for you, and you might want to check it out.  You might have to look quite awhile to find a decent place.