Their bodies ravaged by sickness, Elyria couple's love is undying: Regina Brett

Their bodies ravaged by sickness, Elyria couple's love is undying: Regina Brett

Published: Sunday, April 29, 2012, 5:10 AM Updated: Sunday, April 29, 2012, 11:27 AM
By Regina Brett, The Plain Dealer

For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
We say those words at the most joyful occasion, on a day when it seems as if nothing can go wrong, nothing will keep us apart, nothing can ever harm us.
We forge a bond of love we believe is stronger than anything the world can throw our way.
Then life happens.
Matt Monschein and Mary "Pat" Fowler professed their wedding vows 46 years ago. She wore a white lacy veil and a satin dress, he wore a tux, and they beamed as they cut the cake. Through it all, they were together.
Through his time on active duty in the Navy, through the ups and downs of raising two boys, Mike and Bob, in Elyria. Through the long days he worked at the power plant in Avon Lake as a stationary engineer.
Through the painful weeks this year when Mary ended up in EMH Regional Medical Center in Elyria in January after her diabetes worsened.
Matt is 71, Mary is 68. Matt spent the month of February sitting in her hospital room. He ignored his own pain, the cough that wouldn't go away, the exhaustion, the feeling that he had the flu.
Finally, he grew too sick to visit her. That's when his son made him go to the doctor. Matt was admitted to the same hospital on March 2 with pneumonia. He and his wife weren't in the same room, but at least they were on the same floor.
The pneumonia didn't get any better. That's when they found out he had cancer. Pancreatic cancer. There is no cure.
At the end of March, Matt was transferred to the Cleveland Clinic's main campus. He was told he would need hospice care. His dying wish? To spend his last days with his wife.
Mary is at Grace Fairview, which specializes in long-term acute care. Her diabetes left her dependent on kidney dialysis three days a week. She has had multiple surgeries and ended up with both legs amputated above the knee. She's been in bed so long she has pressure sores. Matt has just days, weeks or months to live.
Mary needs dialysis, antibiotics and special wound treatments that are so painful, she screams for help.
They are both on Medicare, but Medicare won't reimburse Grace Fairview for hospice care.
It's a tricky situation: The long-term care provider doesn't offer hospice care to help Matt die, and the hospice doesn't have the medical care to help Mary live.
Matt needs to surrender. Mary needs to fight.
Isn't there one place where they can do both?
The couple feared they'd never see each other again. They had spent almost a month apart when their son, Mike, sent out an email plea for help to the media: "Both hospitals are treating my parents for their illness, but the hospitals are not able to assist with helping my parents to relocate to a facility to allow them to be together. Is this how their last days and weeks are supposed to be?"
I called Mike, but WJW Channel 8 News reporter Lorrie Taylor had already opened a way. When Matt left the Clinic to go to New Life Hospice, the ambulance made a stop at Grace Fairview so he could see his wife.
Matt cried when he saw his bride. They slid his hospital bed next to hers and the two held hands as monitors beeped around them.
The visit was supposed to be temporary, a day or two at best.
Matt's condition grew worse on Friday, so the hospital let him stay in the same room with his wife. Before the Rev. Ed Schwet, the hospital chaplain, gave Matt last rites, he renewed their wedding vows.
The couple promised once again to have and to hold each other, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
They will get to end their journey the way they started it. Together.

http://www.cleveland.com/brett/blog/index.ssf/2012/04/couple_hopes_to_end_lifes_jour.html