I need to go on a little rant...

[Matt58044]

Ok, so I'm a 26 year old guy who is still living at home because my health problems hit before I could start my own independent life.  I can't afford to move out.

I live with my dad, and its just us.  And here's my rant...

My dad's diet is basically a guideline of everything I can't eat.  He literally eats french fries with virtually every meal he eats, he covers everything he eats with salt, and the worst part is, he sits down every night in front of the television and eats a whole bag of potato chips and about a half pound of cheese.  Each night, somewhere in the realm of 1,500 calories of chips and cheese, I'm guessing.  More than a full meals worth of just chips and cheese.  Every night.

On top of that food diet, he drinks about 8-10 beers every single night.  He's a full-time, heavy smoker.  Never exercises for a second.

It's a miracle on its own that he has yet to have any heart problems and from the smoking only suffers a disgusting cough that is more of a menace to the people around him than himself.

Maybe I'm expecting too much of him, but if it was me, I'd feel WAY too guilty to live like that knowing that my son has to be around and watch me do it and yet can't do those same things.  He's had 3 different children with health problems and diet restrctions, and a wife with heart problems and diet restrictions.  Never changed a thing about himself.

It has become a source of contempt from me towards him.

When my doctor says something about my diet I just want to scream.  How am I supposed to eat/live healthy in this environment?

Sometimes I wish I could find something he can't do and do it in front of him all day.

[MooseMom]

I so totally get it, and I don't blame you one single bit!

One night, I had it out with my husband because he was eating a banana in front of me.  I thought it was thoroughly rude and obnoxious and unfeeling.  My husband lives to eat, and I KNOW he could never stick to a renal diet, so I have been known to remind him of that.  I'm kinda over it now because I've gotten used to the diet, but if I were in your shoes, I'd be furious.  But if he has not changed his filthy diet despite him having kids/wife with health problems that led to restrictive diets, then I'd have to say that he is, and always will be, oblivious.  You just can't tell people things they don't want to hear and have them really listen to you...

Best thing to do is to keep on ranting here on IHD!

[Rerun]

I guess this has to do with diets and recipes so I'll leave it.   

I can't imagine living in that situation.  It is hard enough watching all the food commercials, but at least I can't get to it unless I get in my car and drive to it and pay.

I wish you could live with another relative.

Rerun, Moderator 

[billmoria]

 
Take control of your own situation - eat what is best for YOU. He is not doing this to make you angry or upset, he is just being himself. It sounds to me like He eats and drinks far too much and the consequences will catch up with him.

[jbeany]

You can, of course, be equally annoying in reverse.  Sweetly tell him the calorie count on everything he puts in his mouth, with the explanation that "I love you and I want you to be healthy!"  Best outcome - he changes his diet.  Second best, he gets so sick of hearing it, he doesn't eat in front of you anymore.

I do try not to be too hard on the people enjoying the stuff I'm not supposed to have.  I guess I know if I could, I'd be eating it too.  But it's still frustrating sometimes. 

If he's done the same thing to the rest of the family, though, hoping he'll change may be a lost cause.  And you are doing something he can't do in front of him every day - having the will power to stick to the diet restrictions you have to be on to survive.

[Matt58044]

It's not that he eats the things I can't eat sometimes.  I wouldn't expect him to COMPLETELY stop eating and enjoying the things I can't have.  I'm not so selfish that I would expect him to just eat salads and vegetables.  Heck, even I enjoy the bad stuff for me sometimes.

It's the fact that it's all he eats.  I'm serious when I say that at least 70% of his diet is potato chips, french fries, and cheese.  And what isn't that is covered in salt before he eats it.  And then there is the smoking heavy and drinking every single day that worsens it.  There is no moderation whatsoever.

I often say to myself how he is like a 5 year old kid who's parents went on vacation and he can do whatever he wants with no discipline or guilt.

And jbeany - I meant something pleasurable.  You know, something he'd WANT to do.  I think you missed the point.

[jbeany]

And jbeany - I meant something pleasurable.  You know, something he'd WANT to do.  I think you missed the point.

No, I got that - I was just trying to point out that I know how hard it is to stick to the diet and that I'm always impressed with anyone who can manage it.  That you do it with the temptation constantly in front of you is even more impressive.  I lived alone and it was hard enough to eat right.  Trying to do it with a fridge full of junk would have been 10 times worse.

Unfortunately, the only idea I had for something you could do that he can't any longer is ask out a 19 year old with be considered a perv.....not helpful, I'm sure!   

[st789]

Was in similiar situation like you Matt.  What about  prepare for your own food and keep some space between two of you.  Go outdoor or quiet place.  Good luck.

[KrazeeBrod]

I thoroughly understand your problem, and I sympathize.

But try to think about it this way as well... if he is eating lots of junk food and constantly eating, he may be having issues of his own.  It might not be that he is just oblivious.  I spent many years as a fat person, and I know now that I was eating to compensate for other issues I was having.

Have you tried sitting down with him and discussing this?  Asking him if he knows why he eats this badly? 

Hope this helps.