Eating issues

[Ladystardust24]

A little background:

I've had many stomach surgeries, and a part of my stomach was used to create a bladder.

Well, anyways, I eat VERY little. (Like, 6 french fries in, and I cannot eat at all)

So, this was all ok. But then I talked to my renal team and therapist.

I've been on diets my entire life. So, I have a hard time sometimes realizing how much of what is ok. I'm used to limiting. And, due to keeping track of things, I have OCD/anxiety.

But, with an active lifestyle now, Being 22 and not always getting a chance/or desire to eat. I tend to push it aside. I rarely feel actually HUNGRY. Well, besides actual real medical reasons, somewhere along my lines of "I want to get healthy" and go from 125 in a year to 102. And at some point the lines have blurred for me what was "healthy" and what was not. I take my meds and all. Blood is fine.

Coming to my point.

I was recently diagnosed with a ED and I'm not sure how to handle it. As in, I'm getting help for it. And I recognized what was "Wrong" in my ways. But it doesn't make my feelings just go away. If I "overeat" (like more than say appetizer) I feel sick, physically. And I hate that feeling. So i always feel like it's not even worth the effort.

Luckily, I've seeked out the help I will need. And have many supportive friends. But my doctors have said this is a very common issue. Since dealing with diets and all is our life. And feeling sick. Also, other factors. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with this stuff. 

[Gandalf]

I am in no position to offer any wise advice - just to say I am sharing some of your confusion and difficulty.  I am a survivor of quite a destructive ED, and have really struggled with the dialysis thing - like you I have spent much of my life restricting and avoiding food, and the preoccupation with weighing/dietary restrictions etc inherent to the hemodialysis process is really, really difficult for me too.  I guess ultimately I am hoping that with time the anxiety will become less, and one will develop some sense of perspective on the fact that it is all a necessity to stay alive) both dialysis and eating that is!)  Wish there was something helpful and constructive that i could offer, other than to say I am there too, and pretty much struggling too!

[Cordelia]

I'm really glad you've seeked help. I think that is great and you are taking a step in the right direction.        to you!

[Rerun]

Help me here.....  what is ED?

               

[Cordelia]

Eating Disorder