I hate my life

[Gentle Soul]

The repressed memories surfaced 3 years ago.  No wonder I'm such a fantastic sex addict.  Now this $#!+ happens and my kidneys fail.  I hate my life and I'm so sick and tired of recovery.  Why the hell should I jump through countless hoops and kiss a bunch of committee's asses so I can get on a transplant list just so I can prolong my miserable, #@&*!Ng life!!!

[paul.karen]

Gentle soul (great name)

We all have two options.  To do or not to do is the question...

[Gentle Soul]

Hmmmm...  I chose not to jump through countless hoops nor kiss a bunch of asses and I chose a life of hedonism and debauchery.  I'm a Taurus baby...   

[kimi_g89]

Nobody likes that their kidneys are failing... the best you can so is try to stay positive. I know its hard to. But
i hope things get better for you! 

[Gentle Soul]

Oh, I am staying positive.  Let's hear it for one night stands, booty calls, and anonymous hook ups!!!  Can I get a witness up in herrrre!!   

[*kana*]

Wow, we all feel down about our problems but I always get by with the knowledge that even though renal failure is bad, there are a lot worst diseases and treatments out there.  You need to find a support system and try not to define who you are by what you are dealing with.  A positive attitude goes a long way in helping you get through this.  Keep your chin up and know that we are here for you. 



   

Oh, I am staying positive.  Let's hear it for one night stands, booty calls, and anonymous hook ups!!!  Can I get a witness up in herrrre!!   

Sounds a bit risky behavior to me.  I wouldn't want to deal with gonorrhea, herpes and HIV on top of kidney failure.  The transplant team will love to hear how you keep yourself positive.    

[Deanne]

Why the hell should I jump through countless hoops and kiss a bunch of committee's asses so I can get on a transplant list just so I can prolong my miserable, #@&*!Ng life!!!

No one can make you do it. However, if you don't jump through those hoops and kiss those asses, how will you ever know if things could be better in the future? I had a miserable start to life, too, and was very tempted to end it during high school. I'm glad I stuck it out though. I learned that I have choices, and one of my choices is to be a happy person. It was a defninte choice - happiness doesn't just happen to everyone.

I've learned that everyone has problems. One choice is to allow those problems to run your life and be miserable, or to take control of whatever parts of life you can control without allowing the less perfect aspects run you, and be happy. If you start asking around, you'll find out that everyone has something they consider a major hindrance in life. We have bad kidneys. The woman in the cube next to me has multiple sclerosis. A woman in a cube a row over has ? (I don't know, but she's on the phone with her insurance company constantly!), another woman in that row has cancer. I can't name a single person who doesn't have some sort of issue they consider a major imperfection in life. I try to remember that when I'm angry because my life isn't perfect.

In the meantime, feel free to rant. That's why we're here!

[KICKSTART]

Tell us more about your dialysis side . I dont think too many of us are really interested in one night stands and booty calls tbh .

[sutphendriver]

OH! i would be interested, but my wife wont let me 

[RichardMEL]

I agree with kana in that if you're going to enjoy the booty calls etc that hopefully you're practicing safe sex - this is even MORE important if (when?) you get a transplant as you have to be super careful in this regard (HSV1 - ie: herpes simplex - can be very bad for transplants).

However I digress from the main point.

Kidney failure is no fun. We all know that, and it affects many things. Heck, I'm amazed and somewhat envious that you appear to have this awesome sex life while dealing with dialysis - I just didn't have the energy for it!! 

You're asking why you have to go through the hoops to get approved for transplant? I'll tell you why. transplantation is a very special gift, and rare enough that it is valuable to us. The doctors and so on want to ensure that a) your body is able to accept a transplant and b) your mind/attitude is ready (in terms of being compliant with the medication schedule, and being able to look after the transplant once you have it).

Is it worth it? I've only had mine for 2 months and I can tell you that YES!! It damn well is worth it. I feel so much better (and of course, no machine!!), have energy to burn, and well don't mention sex because... well.. let's just say that I'm ready!!!! 

However it is a huge responsibility and one to not be taken lightly. We also have to remember that transplant is another treatment option and comes with its own pros and cons. It is the most IDEAL form of treatment for most of us as it frees us from the machine and allows a mostly normal life and that is so awesome I can not begin to describe it - even in the short time I have had my wonderful gift.

I guess it's up to you - continue to deal with dialysis and hate it or work towards being approved for transplant and the goal of being able to live that more normal life. It's up to you.