I am P*** ed!! Thanks for giving me a voice!!

[carol1987]

So second time at the dialysis center today.

I ask the charge nurse who is going to cannulate me  today , she says ann (the one who infiltrated me tuesday)  I ask, is she the most experienced... Nurse says yes. 

I go to the chair and a different tech , comes over... I do not know if she is just preping me or the one who will stick?  She never even says her name....

Blood Pressure  checked...   I sit.. and ask her if they do the single needle dialysis... (cause i figure if she can at least get the lower needle in, which everyone has gotten in with one poke, i can have a treatment today)  no they do not.
 I ask if she is good at sticking new fistulas..... she says "no one is good at sticking new fistulas"!!    WHAT??? WOW what a confidence builder!!

I ask about the saline push to check the  access and that is what they do... OK

She pokes and wiggles. & checks.... wiggles & checks, wiggles & checks  etc.  the lower stick   and can not even get that one!!! The one that everyone had no problem with.... so what are the odds that once she gets that  , that she will get the more difficult upper stick and not infiltrate me again???

She says "let me get , so & so to try"... I am like NO  My Vascular doctor is talking about operating on Monday to raise the fistula and My Neph and he are discussing the option of me not even having DIalysis while I heal from the OP.  Even if they decide I need the Dialysis I would need a catheter and I don't want them F****ing up my fistula... as it is I hope I have no clot or blockage from this infiltration!!!


I may be trying to overcome fear and cannulate myself sooner than I anticipated.  You really are just a piece of meat at these centers!!  Come to think of it she did not even say good morning or ask my name!!!

Now I am going to write down what i want to say to my Doctor and what I need to ask....

Thanks to everyone here... I knew what to ask/say and I knew that I could be vocal about my needs!!!   If I had not been a part of the IHD community I would really be more frightened and upset right now... thank you... and a special thanks to epoman who saw the need for this site and made it a reality, may he rest in peace....

[billybags]

Way to go Carol

[MooseMom]

The great thing about venting on IHD is that it gives you a chance to gather your thoughts and present them in a coherent manner.  Write out your list of questions and post them here, if you'd like, and we can all discuss them.  What you're experiencing at your center is probably pretty much the norm, which is flatly unacceptable.  All the dialysis techs and docs bang on about how important your access/fistula is, yet they persist in digging around for it; that makes no sense to me.

This is why quite a few people here on IHD advocate self-cannulation.  While the fear of needles is certainly understandable, the fear of having someone treat you "like a piece of meat" and damage your fistula is even greater in my book.  I certainly plan to learn to self-cannulate.  I don't have a particular fear of needles, but I get tired of having to do everything myself, but that's just part of living with any chronic illness...you have to be your best patient.

[carol1987]

I just called my  nephrologists office  and the message they got was that I wanted to stop treatment!!  So they thought I wanted to stop forever.... are you kidding??
 I have three beautiful kids a wonderful husband and the only thing wrong with me right now is these damn kidneys.... I have no intention of going anywhere!!!! 


No i just want techs at the center to be able to access my fistula ..... the nurses at the hospital were able to!!
 

Scheduled for surgery on Monday for sure.... Maybe the doc can add something that will make my fistula glow like a glow stick for these people!!!

[boswife]

holly crap!!  this makes me mad too because you are doing all the right things, learning the right things and they are ready to mess up YOUR good thing.  Im guessing hubby has been really lucky in our center as everyone seems to be so carring and professional.. (though mabie even a bit too strict not letting me cannulate for      him    )Im so sorry you are having to deal with this all, and SOooooo happy you had come to this place first so you can straighten it out with your own knowledge..  Amazing

[Stoday]

Your outcomes are very similar to mine, carol1987.

My techs have a whale of a time digging around my venal button hole as if they were looking for buried treasure. 

Self cannulation is the way to go, I think. However, you really need matured button holes first, so you've gotta stick with the bad sticks () for a short while.

It's just a matter of determination to overcome the psychological barrier of needling yourself. Most curiously, although I can stick a needle in myself to its full depth without a problem, I still can't bear to watch a tech do so. 

[KICKSTART]

I hope surgery goes well for you