Merry Christmas Rant

[Plip]

Wow, what to say. Happy holidays and all to all. I have so many issues at this time of year. I keep wondering if I'm really in denial right now and just think I'm in the clear. Family life is a wreck...at least I get to see my son for Christmas, next Tuesday. Insomnia has me all lost on top of being lost with all that's happened in the past few months. I guess I just need to type it out and maybe it'll all be better or something. I can't work my normal 60 cause it seems I'm either at treatment or recovering from it so I can work. No answers then information overload. Things I was told are exact opposite. I got rejected for insurance after I was told everyone on dialysis gets approved. No clue what will happen with any sort of disability. I can't stay in the field I work in due to infection risk. That means school again or maybe some kind of disability/gas station job combo. I have nightmares almost everytime I do finally get sleep. What's up with vampires and drowning ? You know what I really miss?....Starbuck coffee and showers. Venti caramel machiatto...and long hot steamy luxurious showers with multiple rinse and repeats...til the water heater goes dry dammit !

How did anyone else handle this phase?!!!

[dwcrawford]

All I can say is to keep plugging away.  Take one issue at a time and try and solve it or at least decide it can't be solved, then go to the next issue.  Otherwise, they will continue to overwhelm you.  I'm sorry you have all of these things facing you, especially at your age.  Sometimes it may help to just sit and put it all out of your mind for a day to renourish youself.  It is hard.  Don't let anyone  tell you it isn't.  But it can be managed.

Hopefully it is the Vampires who are being drowned... in a vat of Starbucks.

Oh yea, don't be afraid to ask for help.

[looneytunes]

Oh Plip, sorry things are so overwhelming for you right now.  DW is SO right...just take one thing at a time and if there doesn't seem to be an answer, move on to the next one.  I can assure you they will get resolved in the long run. 

And, I'm with you on the Starbucks....love it!  But, just think, the times you allow yourself to have a little will be so much more precious! 

I'll be thinking of you.

[galvo]

Hard times, plip. And Christmas can bring up anger and sorrow. One day at a time, mate. That's all any of us can do. I've had many negative moments. I just seem to blunder through.

[galvo]

Oh and Plip I forgot to add that, in my opinion, Starbucks' product is the closest thing to dishwater I have ever encountered!

[thegrammalady]

yes is can be overwhelming. i'm rather a rebel, tell me i can't do something and i guarantee i will find a way to do it. don't give up the caramel machiattos just don't have a large one and don't have them several times a day. and as for showers, i did, i just didn't tell anyone.  bad gramma!

[dyann]

what type of fielddo you work in that yo cannot do to your treatment,  I work in health care and work with staff infectins air born pathagens etc and I am able to work it is hard Iwork 50 60hours a week and do treatment 6 days a week its hard but I am a live

[peleroja]

In the words of Dory from Looking for Nemo, "Just keep swimming!"  You take baby steps, and then baby steps turn into bigger steps.  Don't believe everything your nurse keeps telling you.  I never stopped taking showers, whether I had a PD catheter or a hemo catheter.  Not one single food is forbidden to you; you just can't have it every day.  Everything in moderation, including moderation!  Stop beating up on yourself.  Be happy for what you can do and don't worry about what you can't do (or find difficult to do).  {getting down off my soap box and getting on with my life!}

[texasstyle]

Venting doesn't necessarily change the course of things, but it usually feels good after so do it. And don't ever feel bad about it. Pent up emotions can distort your thinking and we want you to have a clear train of thought. There's always going to be frustration in life but don't let them build. I've taken my husband's Ambien on a couple occasions to help in sleeping and had very weird dreams. Slept great though. Just wondering if anyone else ever had these dreams too. Do you take Ambien? No dream expert her but the Vampire thing could simply have to do with the blood from dialysis, and the drowning could represent a "drowning" or "overwhelmed" feeling you are going through. Hhmm.. just a thought.

[Slywalker]

Just keep putting one foot in front of another.  You will get through this terrifying beginning of dialysis.  I had years of build up to dialysis and it still was overwhelming.  And yes, you can take showers if you have a PD catheter installed.  In fact my doctors encouraged them to keep the site clean. 

Hang tough.  You can do this.

[billybags]

plip ,peleroja said all that needs saying, one step at a time. do not deny your self things, if you fancy some thing have a little bit of it. Insomnia is a thing I think all kidney patients go through. I hope your visit with your son goes well on Tuesday. Christmas day is one day that must be a nightmare for people that are on their own or have family issues. Be kind to your self. I know easier said than done. I hope the new year is better for you.

[fc2821]

Everyone has given you good advise. All I can add is, you are in a new situation. You can try to make the best of it. It won't be easy, nothing worth having is obtained easily.  for yourself. You are the most important person in your life, to help others you must first help yourself. As for insomnia, had it all my life. How do you deal with it? Don't let it overwhelm you.