Woman finds perfect kidney match in her willing best friend

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Woman finds perfect kidney match in her willing best friend

By MELISSA HAYES
The Lufkin Daily News

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Call it fate, a stroke of luck or the grace of God, but Kimberly Ards and Chekita Sidney said they were meant to be best friends and soul sisters for life.

Two girls, one from the city and one from the country, Ards and Sidney only saw each other on summer and holiday breaks when Ards would come from Chicago to see family in Apple Springs.

One Easter morning in 1978, destiny was sealed when both girls showed up to church in matching dresses, each bought from different parts of the country.

"We said, 'We'll be friends forever.' We've been best friends ever since," Ards said.

It's a friendship that has stood the test of time; they've shared everything from divorces, the birth of their children and now — a kidney.

Ards said she was diagnosed about 10 years ago with focal segmental glomerulosclerosis, but once she had children, "everything went haywire."

According to the NephCure Foundation, it is a disease that attacks the kidney's filtering system, causing serious scarring.

Ards went into complete renal failure in August 2008. Dialysis began in September of that same year. Ards needed a kidney, and she found one in her best friend.

She refused to do a traditional form of dialysis, instead opting for peritoneal dialysis, or PD, in which she received treatments at home, seven days a week.

According to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, PD became a practical and widespread treatment for kidney failure in the 1980s.

Ards' two sons, Anthony, 11, and Bryson, 5, have become two of her most important caretakers.

"Anthony has been my rock. He learned how to hook up my dialysis machine. He really jumped in to help," Ards said. "Bryson and Anthony both learned how to give me my shots."

Ards had been on the national list to receive a kidney since December 2008, but because she was generally healthy, she was told the wait could be anywhere from three to five years.

"I thought it was so morbid, praying for someone to die so I could have their kidney. When the doctors asked if I had thought about live donors, I said I would ask," she said.

In all, there were eight matches and through process of elimination, it eventually came down to Sidney.

"I have faith that this is something that's meant to be done. If I can do that for her, then she can live her life like she's used to living," Sidney said. "I feel like it's something I have to do, that I'm here to do."

Both women worry more about each other instead of focusing on themselves.

"She's more sure than I am. My biggest fear is 'What if I reject this kidney?'" Ards said. "She has reassured me that if it's rejected then that's how God wants it to be."

"I feel like I'm helping her," Sidney said. "When I was going through all those tests to see if I was a match, the doctor said, 'You're getting a full medical exam out of all of this.' But it wasn't all about me. I was focusing on her."

Ards will be on short-term disability for four months after the kidney transplant, and Sidney could be out of work for up to six weeks.

"The doctors tell you to make sure to save up money for extra expenses, in case you lose your job, whatever. But I thought 'What about Chekita?'" Ards said.

With a little brainstorming and hard work, the women and their churches have raised nearly $5,000 through raffles and concerts, with more to come.

Surgery is scheduled for Jan. 22, and Ards expects a waiting room full of friends and family to be there.

"The waiting room is going to be hilarious. They told me I needed at least two people to take care of me after the surgery. Are you kidding me? I don't even get to go to doctor's visits by myself," Ards said. "I'm so fortunate. I don't have to worry about who's taking care of my kids or me."

The same sense of love and compassion is evident between the two women.

"People try to come between our bond, but we promised no one would come between us," Sidney said. "When I talk about it, I get teary-eyed. With the faith I have, I know it's meant to be. I was the one."

Ards, who has arranged to become an organ donor herself, stressed the significance of helping others, as she has been helped.

"I realize now how important it is for someone to be a donor. You don't have to be a relative. You can be a friend or a coworker," Ards said. "It's such an awesome thing to do that."

"There's a lot of different talents that others have, that I don't. But this is something I can do. Maybe this is my gift," Sidney said.
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