There is a difference

[KICKSTART]

..between like and accept. Today has been most interesting and yet again i have been the bull while the staff have waived the red rag ! but i think it was most productive and earned me some respect ! I have been speaking to 2 of the staff today but to cut along story short (many issues and questions about hemo were brought up ) The biggest thing they have a problem with is my NOT liking hemo ,it = denial to them. Now where on earth they get that from i dont know ! Both of them insist i get to like hemo ! They think im under the delusion that i can go back to PD ! Ive made it perfectly clear that i know PD has ended and that its hemo from now on and that i ACCEPT this , but it DOESNT mean i have to like it !!! Why do they insist i have to like it ? In 5 years ive never lost my anger at having to do dialysis but ive done it , i turn up for all my hemo and clinic appts , so why cant they just leave it at that ?  Its my anger , its not destroying me, its just who i am ! I told the nurse today , i want to know more , i want control back and yes i can be fiesty when im treated like a 5 yr old ! (but i didnt shout or lose my temper!) Anyway it turned out to be productive with both agreeing i WAS intelligent (doh!) and did ask lots and when i felt ready they would teach me more as they could see i was a fast learner ! So they said in time i can have complete control if i want it !! and in 12 mths time they are setting up a new small unit (6 beds) done in a more informal way where the people in there will do everything from start to finish (even setting up) although staff would be on hand if needed and they agreed i would be an excellent candidate for that new unit (probably just want to get me out of the way !) All that said... they still cant understand why i can go ahead and do Hemo but still hate it !!!

[Rerun]

Kickstart I think you are perfectally normal.  Why deny your feelings then you will need a therapist in 5 years to untangle all your invented anger.  I hate dialysis and what it has done to my life and I will hate it until the day I die.  Will I learn to live with it..... Yes.  Will I ever like it....NO!

      I hope you get your new unit.   

[Bub]

I have to schedule my entire life around dialysis.

I get stuck twice with needles that hurt.

I am stuck in an uncomfortable chair for five hours or more.

Nothng to eat and lettle to drink.

I leave feeling at best washed out, and at worst sick to my stomach, dizzy and cramping.

Yep, I flipping love dialysis.

[kitkatz]

Honey, Kickstart, I have been doing this almost eleven years. I accept that hemodialysis is a part of my life, yet I hate it with a passion. It takes time from my life and is a crappy procedure to have done three days a week.  I hate it.

[RichardMEL]

Maybe the nurses don't quite mean that they want you to "like" dialysis as in come in hopping and skipping with a big smile because you just can't wait to get on the machine like.. but more an acceptance of it. I mean it is a big change for you to go from PD and you've had more than your fair share of troubles with it (unfortunately ).. maybe they just expressed themselves badly.

I think it IS a great vote of confidence that they think you'd be a good candidate to train up to do your own treatments - needle yourself, set up the lines and machine etc. I don't think it's so much about them wanting to get rid of you but allowing you the freedom to do that is a win win for you and them - you're not waiting for one of them to be available to do that stuff, and you have far more control over your treatment(as you did with PD) which i think you'd enjoy.

I do think this was a positive interaction from what you've said, and glad to hear it! 

[KICKSTART]

RM , sorry but i just dont think you get me, or its possible the written word reads differently?  YES the nurses meant LIKE , i had an hour long discussion over the difference between ACCEPT and LIKE . Yes i have accepted it , i know its my life etc etc  but you dont seem to get it either, that i dont have to LIKE it , it does not mean i dont accept it (look at comments from other members who also dont like it !) Oh and the comment about them 'wanting to get rid of me ', was tongue in cheek !

[dwcrawford]

My unit is starting a new self service group and I've been invited to participate.  I don't look at it negatively but rather that  I am alert (despite being 69/70 years old) and more than capable of doing it.  I won't move from my location but rather a special nurse will come each day and work with me.  I'm looking forward to it (I think).  I think I am actually one of their favorite patients (at least in my bay) although my nurse Tan says I am the 2nd to the worst she's ever had.  It's a joke.  I tell her she wouldn't even make a good maid but in reality she is the best nurse I can imagine having.

Also, I think no one LIKES it,  KS.  I know I don't and I'm pretty sure Richardmel doesn't, but I must find all the positive things that I do like in order to  keep going day after day.  There are many good things as I've elaborated on before.  It is all a matter of degrees.  I have to go up there now.  Is there some place I'd rather go?  Is there some please worse to go to?  Yes,  in both cases.  Wish me luck.

[RichardMEL]

[ deleted content on second thought ]

move on, nothing to see here folks!

[Zach]

When I began in-center hemodialysis almost 28 years ago, my nephrologist suggested I receive my treatments as part of the the staff-assisted, self-care program at the dialysis center.

Being more involved in my treatment made a tremendous difference in my outlook as well as my overall health.

Empowerment + Information = Longer, healthier life.

[del]

Nobody "like" dialysis kickstart but hubby has found that because he has accepted it as part of his lfehis life goes on.  The more control you have the better. if anybody had

[del]

(SORRY HIT POST ACCIDENTLY BEFORE i WAS FINISHED!!!)

[del]

I'll try again!!  Don't know why this is posting before I am finished. I didn't hit anything this time!!

If anyone had the choice they would not have kidney failure and need dialysis but sadly that is not the case. Hubby just rolls with the punches most time and really appreciates the good quality of life.  KS I think you read Richard wrong he was just making a little joke at your comment in your first post about them wanting to get you out of the way when he said about them wanting to get rid of you. 

[kidney4traci]

I agree with Zach, doing hemo yourself, with you in control, helped me.  However, I enjoyed being at home still better than another unit where you still have to be on their schedule...