A Dietician 12 Days of Christmas

[kitkatz]

Borrowed (stolen) from Kidneyfriends.com who got it from another site.


The Twelve Days of Christmas (for us!)

On the first day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Keep away from
that honey baked ham.

On the second day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Limit your
fluids, and keep away from that honey baked ham.

On the third day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, No more salt,
limit your fluids, and keep away from that honey baked ham.

On the fourth day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Don't eat
bananas, no more salt, limit your fluids, and keep away from that
honey baked ham.

On the fifth day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Try Mrs. Dash!
don't eat bananas, no more salt, limit your fluids, and keep away from
that honey baked ham.

On the sixth day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Soak those
potatoes, try Mrs. Dash, don't eat bananas, no more salt, limit your
fluids and keep away from that honey baked ham.

On the seventh day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, No salted
chips, soak those potatoes, try Mrs. Dash, don't eat bananas, no more
salt, limit your fluids, and keep away from that honey baked ham.

On the eighth day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Tangerines are
fine, no salted chips, soak those potatoes, try Mrs. Dash, don't eat
bananas, no more salt, limit your fluids, and keep away from that
honey baked ham.

On the ninth day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Please no
pickles, tangerines are fine, no salted chips, soak those potatoes,
try Mrs. Dash, don't eat bananas, no more salt, limit your fluids, and
keep away from that honey baked ham.

On the tenth day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Take your
vitamin, please no pickles, tangerines are fine, no salted chips, soak
those potatoes, try Mrs. Dash, don't eat bananas, no more salt, limit
your fluids, and keep away from that honey baked ham.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Fried
chicken is OK, take your vitamin, please no pickles, tangerines are
fine, no salted chips, soak those potatoes, try Mrs. Dash, don't eat
bananas, no more salt, limit your fluids, and keep away from that
honey baked ham.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my dietitian said to me, Have a Merry
Christmas, fried chicken is OK, take your vitamin, please no pickles,
tangerines are fine, no salted chips, soak those potatoes, try Mrs.
Dash, don't eat bananas, no more salt, limit your fluids, and keep
away from that honey baked ham!!!!

[Bajanne]

 

Actually it would have been even more funny, if it wasn't so true!!!

[twirl]

just three bites of honey baked ham

[peleroja]

I never eat the honey baked ham, just gobble up the cracklin' glaze!

[Chris]

Whats with the pickles! I hated my dietician who told me I can't have any pickles. To prove her wrong, I bought two different kinds from Valasic. One Dill and the other was Sweet something. The dill I could see, but the sweet didn't have the salt and other stuff she was raven made about. After that display, she shut up and never bothered me again except for those dumb smiley faces for blood counts.

Never had a honey glazed ham though, sounds good.

[thegrammalady]

i tend to ignore our dietitian. especially the one we had 2 years ago. when i got a lab report with smiley faces i handed it back and told her i wasn't 5. i was however nice when she came by with a sheet of what not to eat for thanksgiving. i didn't say a word, i didn't tear it up while she was looking. when i told the doctor how "frosted" i was he just laughed and told me i could ean any thing i wanted for thanksgiving.  i am going to print this and give it to our current dietition, i think she will think it's as funny as i do.