Lives of beauty, grace and shadows

[okarol]

Lives of beauty, grace and shadows

Louise Rafkin

Friday, November 28, 2008

It makes sense somehow that Steven Skov Holt, now 51, and Mara Holt Skov, 47, live in an Eichler co-op apartment in the shadow of St. Mary's Cathedral. Their home office is lined, floor to ceiling, with a vast collection of books on art and design: The couple curate museum shows, write articles and books on contemporary design, and are professors at California College of the Arts. Echoing the lines of St. Mary's, their life together is filled with beauty and a kind of hard-edged grace.

But there is that shadow.

In 1993, a colleague of Steven's introduced the two. A former editor of the design magazine I.D., Steven was working as a creative design executive - "a thought visionary." At the time, Mara, an art historian, was hatching what the couple now refer to as a hare-brained idea about redesigning the paper clip. But beyond the shared interest in design, their cupid thought the connection might come from a deep understanding of pain and loss.

Six years before they met, Mara's first husband was killed by a car while riding his bike. Steven's sudden loss was physical: At 19 his kidneys inexplicably failed. Though he had received a transplant, his health was compromised. He had been up against multiple illnesses for decades.

Their first meeting was intense. Over lunch, Steven dished out harsh criticism of the paper clip scheme, but Mara didn't buckle. "It was a testament to her character," says Steven. "She had confidence and could hear the truth and she didn't play games." They quickly arranged to meet for a dinner, at which they sat side by side. In a matter of days, they moved in together. Friends and family were concerned about the pace. "We both know life is precious," says Steven, "and we weren't going to mess around."

"I liked his voice, his smell, his kisses," says Mara. Mara's first mother-in-law gave her approval within a month, and they married within a year. A son, Larson, was born in 1997. But though speedy, the track hasn't been smooth. Steven's replacement kidney began to fail. The complications of his illness have been myriad: fevers, weight loss, broken bones from coughing, vision loss, cancer. In 2000, the couple's domestic life changed drastically. Their routine now includes kidney dialysis three times a week, four hours at a time.

In the midst of the challenges, the two began working together creatively, intimately and at their usual fast pace. Ideas come to Steven even when he's hooked up to the machine. The couple's two seminal design books, "Blobjects" and the just released "Manufractured," merge their disciplines of art and design, "just like us," they say.

They have lists of projects they want to tackle. "There's no end to learning, and that's extremely life affirming," says Steven. "Every moment matters."

Louise Rafkin has contributed to the New York Times and NPR's "All Things Considered." Couple suggestions? Send a story to OntheCouch@sfchronicle.com.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/28/LVJS13H2BB.DTL

This article appeared on page F - 2 of the San Francisco Chronicle