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Author Topic: The Alchemist's Dream  (Read 2339 times)
LightLizard
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« on: November 02, 2008, 06:57:20 AM »

Date: Halloween, 2008. The week before this ancient and deliciously pagan holiday my heart began beating with a wildly erratic rhythm, going from 36 beats per minute to 90 beats per minute. I began to feel dizzy every time it slowed and as the week progressed it only worsened.

I was hospitalised and a pacemaker, or ‘pulse generator’ was inserted into my upper left chest to correct my wandering heart’s dance.
It is widely suspected that the heart medication I had been taking for so long had disrupted the electrical
pattern of my heart and the upper and lower chambers could no longer communicate and work together.
Thus; the need for the pacemaker.

In researching the possible causes of my case, the cardiologist found that I have a narrow aortal valve which will need to be replaced in the near future by open heart surgery. ('Aortic Stenosis')

Having been dependant on dialysis for the past two years has more or less prepared me psychologically, at least, for this most recent adventure with my heart. In all of this I have seen clearly and emphatically how important it is to make the most of every moment. To find a way to be cheerful and accepting of the greatest struggle can be so useful. Not just for one’s self, but for those around you who may also be in great need of comfort.

To be in fear during a time of trouble is to make a bad situation worse. Not only for yourself, but for everyone around you. There is always some measure of joy to be found in any of life’s dramas. Even suffering can be borne with grace when one finds the strength to accept and trust the flow of life. This is turning lead into gold. The heaviest element becomes the most valuable.

May your Life be Golden and Glow with the light of your Joy for All of your days.

In love with Life
 :guitar:

~LightLizard~

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pelagia
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« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2008, 07:45:27 AM »

Great post LL!  The motto around our house is "today is not a dress rehearsal."  :flower;
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As for me, I'll borrow this thought: "Having never experienced kidney disease, I had no idea how crucial kidney function is to the rest of the body." - KD
pelagia
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« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2008, 08:50:21 AM »

Only minutes ago I learned that the husband of a dear friend passed away suddenly yesterday from a massive heart attack.  My heart is sad.  Life is too short to take any day for granted.
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As for me, I'll borrow this thought: "Having never experienced kidney disease, I had no idea how crucial kidney function is to the rest of the body." - KD
petey
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« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2008, 02:12:31 PM »

Good to read your posts again, LL.  I'm so glad you're back and that heart is beating regularly and fast enough (albeit with some help) to keep you from feeling like poo-poo.

Keep that attitude!  It will definitely be to your benefit in the long run.
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willieandwinnie
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« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2008, 02:41:13 PM »

:cuddle; LightLizard, I was happy to see you posting again. I pray that you get stronger everyday. Please keep us updated.  :grouphug;

pelagia, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I have not taken a day for granted in almost 8 years and cherish each and everyone of them.  :cuddle;
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"I know there's nothing to it, but I want to know what it is there's nothing to"
monrein
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Might as well smile

« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2008, 02:57:56 PM »

I'm glad you're home LL.    :flower; :cuddle; :flower;
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
thegrammalady
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« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2008, 05:44:11 PM »

glad you're still with us lightlizard
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s
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If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Meddle Not In The Affairs Of Dragons
For You Are Crunchy And Taste Good With Ketchup
Romona
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« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2008, 05:55:36 PM »

 :grouphug;
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Sunny
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Sunny

« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2008, 11:24:37 PM »

Nice post. Keep up the positive attitude. Have you read the book The Alchemist? It's really good and I suppose that might be where you are coming from.
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Sunny, 49 year old female
 pre-dialysis with GoodPastures
Joe Paul
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« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2008, 11:58:34 PM »

Welcome back LL, sorry to hear of your heart condition, I pray the pacemaker does the job. Again, welcome back  :thumbup;
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"The history of discovery is completed by those who don't follow rules"
Angels are with us, but don't take GOD for granted
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idahospud
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« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2008, 01:37:09 AM »

what a grate way to look at life!!!!   I hope I can  be that strong as I travel this road we're on.  :grouphug;
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LightLizard
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« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2008, 06:44:20 AM »

thanks for your supportive words, friends. one thing i have noticed is that when i am not feeling as positive as i could feel, its almost always because i feel alone and isolated, for some reason. and, if i look closely i always see that there are others who are in the same boat as i am, so its really impossible to be alone and isolated, unless we convince ourselves we are.
since i got the pacemaker inserted, my blood pressure and pulse readings have been the best of my life, so far.
 :yahoo;

and thanks, sunny, for the book reference. i haven't read it, but from what you say about it, i think i should.

 ;D
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