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Author Topic: Two New Diets ( Just funny!)  (Read 7330 times)
kitkatz
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« on: July 12, 2008, 09:10:26 AM »
SeeFood Diet- I eat the food I see.


The Religious Diet-  I eat the food I want and pray I don't get fat!
 
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
jbeany
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« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2008, 09:12:39 AM »
I'm on a low fat diet. 

I'm short and I eat chocolate.
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.
twirl
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« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2008, 04:45:37 PM »
Quote from: jbeany on July 12, 2008, 09:12:39 AM
I'm on a low fat diet. 

I'm short and I eat chocolate.

too funny

 :bandance;
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twirl
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« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2008, 04:47:00 PM »
I am on the Flip diet

if it don't go with vodka-------don't eat it
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Bajanne
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Goofynina and Epoman - Gone But Not Forgotten

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« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2008, 09:17:35 PM »
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Now, these are diets i can live with!!
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"To be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own ...but that which is based on faith"



I LOVE  my IHD family! :grouphug;
twirl
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« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2008, 06:45:33 AM »
Pasta Diet
Pasta me the potatoes
Pasta me the pepsi
Pasta me the ice cream
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peleroja
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I have 16 hats, all the same style!
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2008, 07:50:37 AM »
Hah, try dieting when your PD dialysate adds 1000 calories per day to your diet.  The only way I've lost 27 pounds (on my way to a BMI of 35 to get on the transplant list), is to bicycle my little tushy off.  I'm up to 80 minutes a day now, 10 minutes at a time!  Let's hear it for perseverence!!!!!
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G-Ma
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« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2008, 08:16:56 AM »
If I eat anything I drink a diet soda with it and that makes everything calorie free.
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Lost vision due to retinopathy 12/2005, 30 Laser Surg 2006
ESRD diagnosed 12/2006
03/2007 Fantastic Eye Surgeon in ND got my sight back and implanted lenses in both eyes, great distance & low reading.
Gortex 4/07.  Started dialysis in ND 5/4/2007
Gortex clotted off Thanksgiving Week of 2007, was unclotted and promptly clotted off 1/2 hour later so Permacath Rt chest.
3/2008 move to NC to be close to children.
2 Step fistula, 05/08-elevated 06/08, using mid August.
Aug 5, 08, trained NxStage and Home on 9/3/2008.
Fistulagram 09/2008. In hospital 10/30/08, Bowel Obstruction.
Back to RAI-Latrobe In Center. No home hemo at this time.
GOD IS GOOD
twirl
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« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2008, 08:50:34 AM »
G-Ma you are right, it is a well known fact
diet drinks cancel out calories


Peleroja------ I had my neck cut for parathryoid surgery and have lost my desire for much food
                  am losing slowly and having dry weight go down
                  I need to let 30 lbs go
                  am banding soon
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twirl
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« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2008, 01:27:31 PM »
try the whole food diet
whole pies, whole chickens, whole cakes ........... :bandance;
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jbeany
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« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2008, 01:34:59 PM »
Quote from: peleroja on July 22, 2008, 07:50:37 AM
Hah, try dieting when your PD dialysate adds 1000 calories per day to your diet.  The only way I've lost 27 pounds (on my way to a BMI of 35 to get on the transplant list), is to bicycle my little tushy off.  I'm up to 80 minutes a day now, 10 minutes at a time!  Let's hear it for perseverence!!!!!

Way to go!

Frustrating when every diet plan I read always starts out with "Drink 8 or more glasses of water a day to lose weight fast!"   Hey, I'd love to - too bad I can't!
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.
twirl
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« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2008, 01:36:02 PM »
a dream diet
to be able to drink 8 glasses of water a day
Heaven
and a Dream Meal
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twirl
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« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2008, 07:24:06 PM »
Monrein Diet

not much food on the plate
always classy
healthy
never boring
kidney kind
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kitkatz
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« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2008, 06:08:53 PM »
The Kitkatz Diet
Put it on the plate!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
monrein
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Might as well smile
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2008, 06:22:47 PM »
 :rofl;  As always Twirl, you crack me up.   Have I told you about two of my favorite foods?  Oh, maybe I shouldn't cuz you'll not think I'm classy any more. 

Wait for it.....Tripe with green onions is one and chicken feet with a kind of sweet and sour sauce is the other.  I eat them at a chinese dim sum restaurant.  Now that I do daily dialysis I might have to indulge again soon.
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
kitkatz
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« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2008, 06:37:51 PM »
Oh my god, you eat some weird stuff!  Take me to dinner, Please!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
twirl
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« Reply #16 on: July 24, 2008, 06:40:28 PM »
do you have a photo of those chicken feet
how do the chicken walk around without their feet
tripe? is that like hog gut

do you eat the chicken toenails ?
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monrein
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Might as well smile
« Reply #17 on: July 24, 2008, 07:29:48 PM »
See, that's why I've got to get a digital camera, to take pictures of chicken feet.  No skin, no toenails.  Just yummy.  I had several colleagues who were horrified at first that I ate that stuff but who eventually came to like it too.  The tripe is beef stomach.  It's stewed  till very tender with hot pepper and green onions and has a delicately flavoured sauce.  I get steamed rice to eat with this.  I love dim sum but haven't been in a while, mainly because of all the salt.
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
twirl
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« Reply #18 on: July 28, 2008, 08:04:07 PM »
Canjun Diet

Boudreaux was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet

Doc: "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 lbs.

When boudreaux returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said,"Did you follow my instructions?"

Boudreaux nodded... "I'll tell you though, by God, I thought I wuz gonna drop dead on dat 3rd day.

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor

Boudreaux: "Are you kidding? It wuz from all dat darn skippin'
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flip
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« Reply #19 on: July 28, 2008, 08:33:33 PM »
I have a cat named Boudreaux and he ain't never missed a meal. He loves shrimp ettouffe.
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That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
KT0930
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« Reply #20 on: August 03, 2008, 06:17:46 PM »
Quote from: jbeany on July 22, 2008, 01:34:59 PM
Frustrating when every diet plan I read always starts out with "Drink 8 or more glasses of water a day to lose weight fast!"   Hey, I'd love to - too bad I can't!

Let me tell ya, I've been drinking 8-15 eight ounce glasses of water a day for the last six months, and I've GAINED weight! Oh, wait a minute, that could be the "See Food" diet I've been following for just as long  :oops;
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"Dialysis ain't for sissies" ~My wonderful husband
~~~~~~~
I received a 6 out of 6 antigen match transplant on January 9, 2008. Third transplant, first time on The List.
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